my child goes over nextdoor to help the gentleman with work in his field. well today he went over a bit late in the day so figure their wouldn't be any work. he came home upset but wouldn't talk about it. well i found out that the neighbor's wife who knows i homeschools decided to take into her own hands teaching him mulitplication tables. Daniel got very frustrated as he often does when learning. he left without telling them he was going. pretty muched stormed off.
Hmmm...I would probably first try to find out if she was actively trying to teach him the multiplication tables or if she was maybe just making conversation and asked if he knew them, KWIM? My dd gets really stressed out if she feels like she is being "quizzed" even if that is not the person's intention.
I've talked to her about how it is okay to politely decline if somebody is asking her to "perform" (i.e. she has a grandmother who can be a bit pushy about reading and I've told her it is okay to say "No thank you, I don't want to right now" or similar if she feels uncomfortable instead of getting upset) Perhaps you could tell your son something similar which would hopefully do the trick unless the person is really pushy.
If she was trying to teach him, I'd just let her know that that is something you and ds are working on together and then let it go unless it is something that happens again (or has happened often).
Like greenemami stated, I would first tell DS to politely decline being put "on the spot" about school by someone who isn't even part of the family (it gets a bit trickier when relatives are involved). If she persists in teaching him, then I would let her know that she doesn't have to "help" in teaching anything because you already know how to handle things. Maybe you could even show her how you are going about teaching your child multiplication. If she wants to share any tips on how to teach kids this concept faster, then maybe you can take her advice and see if it can be applied to your child.