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#1 of 5 Old 06-27-2014, 08:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Unhappy OT - Preschool Coop Drama...advice?

This is a bit off-topic but I value so many opinions on here and thought I would ask for some advice. Some friends and I started a preschool coop about 1.5yr ago and were very selective about the group as we wanted like-minded mamas who felt comfortable enough with each other to be open and honest about needs and challenges along the way. We met every 2 weeks, a different mama leading, easy going and fun. We would meet as mamas only every 6 months to re-adjust, add new members, etc. Well, at our last attempt, we could not get everyone together, tried to arrange plans via email and it all fell apart after a couple of us felt like we were doing too much work and not getting any honest feedback. Lo and behold, a new coop has started with all but the 3 of us who started the group. None of us were invited, yet the other mamas act like nothing has changed and still act as though they are friends with us? Very weird and uncomfortable. I dealt with this kind of fake nonsense in highschool and am over it but I can't force someone to like me. I mostly want to get through the fake greetings/hugs they always want to give and actually ask why I wasn't invited. Am I just asking for something I don't want to hear? What would you do? I am just sad for my inner child who got left out so often from the "cool" group and mostly for my son who has lost a big group of friends. Thanks, in advance.

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#2 of 5 Old 06-28-2014, 03:38 PM
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It is hard to do, but I would suggest being straightforward about it. First though, think of possible responses and your own emotional response to it. You want to be mature about it, after all. Secondly, if it turns out that they (or some of them) really didn't like how you did things regarding preschool, I would want to be able to say that I hope we can still get the kids together to play. I wouldn't pretend that my feelings weren't hurt, but I would demonstrate that I was wanting to move past that so the kids didn't lose out on the friendships.

Amy

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#3 of 5 Old 07-01-2014, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It is hard to do, but I would suggest being straightforward about it. First though, think of possible responses and your own emotional response to it. You want to be mature about it, after all. Secondly, if it turns out that they (or some of them) really didn't like how you did things regarding preschool, I would want to be able to say that I hope we can still get the kids together to play. I wouldn't pretend that my feelings weren't hurt, but I would demonstrate that I was wanting to move past that so the kids didn't lose out on the friendships.

Amy
Thank you for your thoughts. I am feeling the need to be honest about my feelings but not in hopes of repair or even keeping friends for my son. I am not comfortable running into these people while they act as though all is well and normal while they quite intentionally left me and my son out of a new group. Since I, and the other 2 left out, only started the group and did not really run it, per se, I would be interested to know what is really going on. But, on the other hand, do I really want to associate with people who are not honest? Probably not... I think I am going to focus my energy on other people and blow them off, without being outright rude...
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#4 of 5 Old 07-02-2014, 08:16 AM
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That sounds like a good idea. I was under the impression that you were trying to maintain the friendships for you son. If that isn't the case, I think it is healthier to find a different group.

Amy

Mom to three very active girls Anna (14), Kayla (11), Maya (8). 
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#5 of 5 Old 07-02-2014, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That sounds like a good idea. I was under the impression that you were trying to maintain the friendships for you son. If that isn't the case, I think it is healthier to find a different group.

Amy
Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts, I think just writing it out helped me define the direction I want to go. I could do without female drama at my age, hence, on to new friends!
take care!
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