Originally Posted by contactmaya
How much have you found age makes a difference to how you approach things?
My girls are both far more malleable about trying out new things that I suggest, but also their ideas of what they want to do and how to pursue it is even more sharply in focus. They are taking on bigger but more realistic projects, pushing the boundaries of what they resisted a couple of years ago.
They are better at self-regulating themselves with the TV, for the most part (though we had a Brain Games marathon yesterday they were so in love with the show). They are also more adventurous (they would never have been interested in the show before!) We don't have "real" TV, only videos and what's free online.
I don't know if I'm approaching things differently, but they are sure different. I might be more likely to suggest something that I think is interesting. I have more to go on than "What do you want to learn?" I don't need to start from square one. I know that dd9 is writing a script for her Junior bridging event. We find ways to support and assist her. I hear dd7 complaining she has nothing to read, now she finished Life of Fred Butterflies and is awaiting Cats. I recommended Little House in the Big Woods. No, no, that's too big and hard. But I convince her to try it (amazingly) because it's been a very long time since we've looked at it together and she's become a reading machine in that time. She agrees to try it out.
Many things are different with that scenario. 1. She tells me about her frustration and what she is seeking 2. She can be convinced to give something a try even if she doesn't quite agree it will work out and 3. She's become confident in her new skills and is finding joy in using them and that makes everything easier.
She is enjoying the book, BTW.
Both girls are more confident about where they are headed, at least in the short term. They like to stay busy, thus the TV backup when energy, motivation and desire are not all in synch. Sometimes the TV energizes them, makes them curious. Sometimes it's just pure pap-- easy going down and bland and nothing special but mildly entertaining--and when it gets to be too much in that direction SURPRISE! They can be redirected for the most part.
It's only when they become codependent on each other that I still can't seem to make a dent, but they are actually starting to use the words and strategies I've given them, and there are words to match the emotion. Usually. There are more than enough punches, slaps, pushes and (!!) biting. Oh, but I digress.