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At A Loss - Feeling Scared. Advice Please!

1K views 5 replies 5 participants last post by  alicetailor 
#1 ·
Hi Everyone.
If anyone can take the time to read through this and offer insight, I'd really appreciate it!
I'm mom to an almost 8 year old girl, who loves learning but REALLY struggles in the classroom. I believe in homeschooling and while it would have been my first choice we found a great local school that is a 'family school' and is not very traditional. She adores the social aspect. She suffer general anxiety and is not learning well. I really want to homeschool her, and she seems to be very keen on it, but is worried about not being 'involved' at 'her' school. I know there are a huge amount of resources here and we will explore all of them.
I can't help but feel really let down. I feel let down by the system (which I never believed in anyways, so I don't know why I care?!) and I also cant shake this feeling of judgement that my daughter just can't assimilate in a tradition school environment and do 'well'. Again, I don't believe in this system at all, so I don't know why I care? I worry that she will see homeschooling as though she has failed at traditional school?
I cant really explain it, I don't know where these emotions are coming from, as I've always wanted to homeschool and have always had many issues with the quality of her 'education' thus far.
I also feel very overwhelmed with the options out there, though I know we will find our way. DD has ADD and learning things like math/writing will be so much better for her in a calm environment like at home. I also notice a lot of the HS science programs, etc all have fees, and I just cant see where that extra expense will come from, but I don't want her to miss out on these experiences...
I also have a 3 year old and am TTC, as well as run a WAH business which is really taking off.
Can someone maybe just share a story of their own fears and how they overcame them?
I'd be so appreciative. And in the meantime I'm going to go through this thread!
 
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#3 · (Edited)
Hang out awhile; this board slows down coming out of the weekend sometimes. :)
I haven't been in quite the same situation-my kids have been homeschooled so far- but I'll give it a shot. Were you thinking of pulling your dd out now, or finishing the year? Even if she stays in school over the winter you might want to start participating in your local homeschool social stuff now; that way she'll see that she'll still have friends to do fun things with while homeschooling.
I don't think pulling her from school has to imply that she failed at anything. A LOT of kids aren't a good fit with school..I was one of them! I would present it to her as simply "This isn't working for us right now, let's try something else instead." Don't stress about the (endless!) options either, most of us have tried different things along the way. We change things around a lot at our house; that's one of the many benefits of homeschooling IMO. If it doesn't work, set it aside for now or scrap it entirely.

Don't worry too much about the cost. We've been homeschooling on a tight budget the whole time (13 & 6 yrs old) and while I do have to turn down some of the expensive private lessons and activities sometimes there are a ton of free & cheap alternatives out there too. Books & equipment can be found used, free or for trade....I think I spend less than some of my friends and family who have kids in public school. It seems they are always paying out of pocket for required equipment, fees, field trips, fundraisers, etc.
 
#4 ·
I'm not in the same boat either, but this is what I'd say if you were a friend of mine:

"Why don't you try it, and if it works out, great. And if it doesn't work out, you can put her back in a brick-and-mortar school. As for worrying about socializing and feelings of failure, those are real worries for you, so I won't tell you that they don't matter, but I will say that I don't share those concerns, and I don't think they'll be a lasting problem for you or your daughter if homeschooling ends up being the right fit."

Good luck with making your decision.
 
#5 ·
As a home school mom who has just recently graduated an eighteen year old son who has similiar learning problems, I can assure you that YOU CAN DO IT! We took my son out of private school in the 7th grade and began homeschooling him because of problems he was having keeping up with the children and bullying on the part of children who didn't know any better. Within one week, my husband and I noticed a tremendous change in his demeanor when doing classwork. He seemed more relaxed and more open to alternate ways of learning. Without the distractions in a classroom setting, he was able to really understand the concepts that I showed him and his grades reflected that.

As you already know, the school systems have set plans they have to go by (I know, two of my sister-in-laws are teachers). They are not allowed to wait for children who may not pick up the concept that has just been taught, nor do they have the luxury of one-on-one interaction with a child that may be struggling. I felt strongly about teaching my son at home since many times he would bring his homework in and I would literally have to teach it to him before he could complete the assignment.

When you look at the social aspect of homeschooling, you have many options available to you. Once I grasped the concept that, as a parent homeschooling my children, I was required to teach the the core subjects and select electives (this differs by state) and that I could teach those concepts in any manner I chose, my fears subsided. For example, they are required to have a certain amount of credits for physical education, right? Instead of teaching them jumping jacks or playing outside, we joined a local bowling league and used that for several years of PE credit. A group of homeschool moms also got together to form a running club, culminating in a 5k run. That provided a great deal of exercise and interaction with other homeschool children. There are also homeschool associations that you can join (usually from $20 - $30 a year) and be able to attend support meetings, events, and field trips. Both of my sons actually told me once that they had more friends as a homeschooler than they did when they went to private school.

I often tell my children "there are no ceilings and no walls in learning", meaning I didn't want them to fall into the trap of learning how to pass a test. We teach for mastery, understanding that if the basics are not learned it makes it so much more difficult for the child as he/she progresses to higher grade levels. I have used trips to the zoo (many have homeschool days with packaged resources) to teach about animals, their habitats, and many other fun facts.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You have your daughter's best interest at heart and that will help guide you in what she needs. There are a lot of free resources online for all ages and grades that can help you in your journey. I have one more son that is in the 9th grade now and we're having the time of our lives learning together. I wish you the best of luck. :thumb
 
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