Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
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SOOOO Frustrated with my homeschooled 13 year old!
I've had numerous conversations with him about expectations- how much work he needs to do each week. Repeatedly he agrees with me, does the work for a day or two, them promptly stops doing work for the rest of the week!
I can't unschool him because of stupid NYS laws. I don't have the freedom to just "not worry about" ELA or social studies for a whole year. Left to his own devices, he'd do nothing but play video games and watch youtube videos about video games.
I don't doubt that it's worthwhile, but that can't be the only thing he does. Like I said above, I can't just let this blossom and wait for him to start designing his own games or whatever quirky-genius thing might come of this. We have to cover the basics required by state law for 7th graders.
I've given him a lot of slack this year because of what's going on in the family. In September, we found out that Daddy (my ex) was dying of cancer, and he passed away on March 1st. I let him do the absolute minimum in terms of schoolwork when we were running back and forth from hospice an hour away and dealing with all these emotions and upheavals. My oldest(20) was going to spend the entire year in Israel, but she's home now and attending community college. My middle child (19) is taking a semester off from community college because of stress/grief/her own issues. All 4 of us are in counseling.
I don't expect anybody to be "fine" 2 months after losing a parent, but I do expect Jack (13)to get back on track with the level of work I'd initially expected him to be doing in the first place. In addition to doing the online lessons at time4learning.com (12 per week), I want him to start reading daily. Since he has an aversion to actual reading, and prefers audiobooks, I told him he has to listen to 6 CDs a week, and at least one per day. All told, this comes to about 10 hours of schoolwork a week.
He put in his 2 hours on Monday- he did 3 online lessons and listened to one CD. Then we went to the mall to buy him shoes (those huge feet just keep growing!) and from there I let him go see a movie, and I picked him up later.
My instinct would have been to hold off the movie until later in the week, but we have 2 cars and 4 drivers, and the car was available on Monday. I couldn't guarantee I'd be able to get him to the theater again while this movie (Furious 7) was still in the theaters. Already, he's missed a bunch of fun things with the homeschool group due to lack of transportation, so letting him do something fun by himself seems only right.
The problem is that he hasnt' done much in the way of schoolwork since then. He hasn't read the book at all, and he's only done one lesson since then. So far this week, he's done 4 lessons and listened to one CD, when he should have done at least 9 lessons and listened to 3 or 4 CDs.
He's also been slacking in his supplements. He's been taking fish oil, and I just started him on B-12. Both are supposed to help with concentration and behavior. I can definitely tell a difference in his behavior when he doesn't take the fish oil. For the past few days, he has outright refused to take any of his supplements at all! So he's acting up in part because he needs the fish oil, and the acting up makes him oppositional- it's a horrible cycle and I don't know how to break it.
He definitely does NOT want to return to public school, yet he's not consistently doing the work I need him to do to continue learning at home. He knows that I'll put him back in school next year if he doesn't shape up, but he's still not getting the work done.
Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults