Am I the only one that doesn't have perfectly behaved hschoolers? - Mothering Forums
Learning at Home and Beyond > Am I the only one that doesn't have perfectly behaved hschoolers?
breathingmom's Avatar breathingmom 11:27 PM 07-09-2002
I'm starting to worry. Everywhere I go I hear people say that homeschooled children are always so well mannered and mature. While my kids are not obnoxious, they are spirited. They are loud from trying to talk over each other all the time and they do test their boundaries.

Am I misunderstanding their definition of well behaved or am I just an anomaly? I would love to know that I am not alone!! Jill

MamaMae's Avatar MamaMae 11:40 PM 07-09-2002
I sometimes think "well behaved" equates with submissive. Not exactly a trait I'm encouraging in my child!

Be happy that they have their own strong will and spirit! Makes life much more interesting, right?!
teachermom's Avatar teachermom 12:05 AM 07-10-2002
my kids are well manered (when they want to be) but they are spirited, loud, and roudy! While they try my patience at times, I am glad that they have the freedom to be who they are.
anythingelse's Avatar anythingelse 12:08 AM 07-10-2002
another vote that your kids are normal, enjoy them!!
lilyka's Avatar lilyka 12:16 AM 07-10-2002
You should come to homeschool gym sometimes. A buch of really goofy kids all being spirited together. In the under 8 group everybody cries or is the cause of tears at least once during the 2hour free for all. Perhaps you have to wait untill everyone is older to really see the difference. i know when I think of well mannered well behaved homeschooled kids it is middle school age and older that comes to mind. And that is only in public my friend.
ekblad9's Avatar ekblad9 12:20 AM 07-10-2002
I totally agree with everyone here. I think it must be when the kids are older. My young children are all very "spirited" in their own way. Perhaps after years of being under my finger they'll be good mannered? We'll see. They are who they are, right?
breathingmom's Avatar breathingmom 04:01 AM 07-10-2002
I feel so much better! I hadn't thought about people referring to older kids but now that you say that it makes sense!

I try not to worry to much what other people think but I really needed a reality check here! Thanks again my sisters! You are wonderful! Jill
SagMom's Avatar SagMom 02:07 PM 07-10-2002
One more tidbit to add:

My kids can be loud and wild...they tease each other at times...dd, especially is "spirited."

OTOH---I often get comments about their manners and maturity. I think it's because they are able to interact with people of all ages and because we're together so much, they have a constant example of how to act in the "real" world. For instance...they know to hold the door for the person behind them, or if a person has their arms full. They can go to a service desk and ask for directions or help. They can engage in everyday chit-chat with anyone: "Hello, how are you?" "I'm fine, and you?" As well as carry on lengthier, more interesting conversations. They are, generally, not intimidated by grownups, but just speak to them one person to another.

I *think* that's where the comments come from. I'm pretty sure the compliments would end if those same people heard them getting into the van, one jumping over the seat to get the 'best" seat while attempting to lock the 3rd one out. "IT'S MY TURN TO SIT IN FRONT!" "YOU SAT THERE LAST WEEK YOU KETCHUP HEAD!" "MOM SHE CALLED ME A NAME!" :
hippiemom's Avatar hippiemom 11:29 PM 07-12-2002
no! i have seen very antisocial behavior from kids in all sorts of situations, regardless of how they are schooled!
ekblad9's Avatar ekblad9 12:37 AM 07-13-2002
Whenever we go on "homeschool group" field trips we get positive comments. I just think it's different from school field trips b/c everyone has their parent there. To me my kids aren't acting great but I'm the one caring for them. That makes a huge difference.
Leslie in MD's Avatar Leslie in MD 09:46 PM 07-14-2002
Ladies, I say we should look at our kids as a work in progress, right? My in-laws were very strict on my husband and his siblings. Though we are in favor of disciplining children at appropriate times, our expectations are a bit lower than theirs was. The result is that our kids are a bit louder, happier, less shy, and more "out there" than my husband was as a kid (now he's very outgoing). We like them this way. I think that raising my kids this way will help them as adults. My goal is for them to be Godly, friendly, outgoing, respectful, helpful, and have good communication skills. It seems that if you stiffle them too much you would be creating a passive, shy adult. Sorry for rambling; just one Mom's humble opinion. So, that said, Jill, just keep doing what you're doing. Hopefully your life-lessons really ARE sinking in .

Leslie in MD
temama's Avatar temama 03:34 AM 07-15-2002
My children are very wild! They are their own persons who do things that they want to do without being told that they have to do this at this time, that at that time and so on. They enjoy life very much. My in-laws tell me on a daily basis that they should be in school to learn how to sit still and concentrate. They do concentrate...on things they are interested in. My son has started doing math worksheets on his own (5 years old) he will sit for 2-3 hours at a time working on worksheets without me prompting him to do this and he is working on 2nd and 3rd grade math and getting the answers right!

My 3 year old will sit and look at books for hours at a time and has taught himself many, many words and all of his letters. However, what everyone sees is my children sometimes getting really excited that we have company. We do activities outside the house like t-ball and soccer, but rarely do we have company at our house.

I think that people see manners and behavior on a gradient scale. To each his own! Don't worry about what others think, I was a very wild child and have grown to be a very well mannered, calm adult. Its all about what our children see us do. They will repeat it...eventually!
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