I went to a PS and everytime I tried to socialize I got "written up" or sent to the office, or better yet, SEPARATED from the person I was "socializing" with! HHMMMM...
most socialization skills that I see kids pick up in schools are negative socialization skills.
I would point out (when challenged) that most homeschool parents make sure there are lots of opportunities for their kids to develop good skills and have positive social experiences with a variety of people not just people of their own age group. My step kids went to public school and cannot hold a conversation with anyone more than half a generation older than them. Even their grandparents.
Some people will then say that kids need to learn to deal with negative social situations (bullies/cliques). My answer to that is: when they are older, more emotionally mature, and well equiped with positive social tools. Teenagers that are homeschooled will find as many social experiences as schooled kids, and they won't always be pleasant.
And yes, I agree, the socialization that kids get in school may not be what you want it to be. And I got in tons of trouble in my PS days for socializing.
Here is how I feel about the socialization.
A few (or more) children that my child wants to be around
that shares the same interests as she does, and not
around children just out of peer pressure is better for her
than a whole bunch of children where my child might feel
out of place or not even want to be around them but feel
pressured to be.
Its also very true what others have pointed out about
how Homeschool children get along better with all ages
and not just their own.
Thats one way I look at it but heres another.
I went to public school but I was a step child at home
and most definitely a cinderella lol as I started working
on a public job at I was either still 13 yrs old or just
turned 14 yrs old so I worked, went to school, and
was a slave at home!
My child that is Homeschooled gets far more
socialization with children than I ever hope to get
when I was in public school.
Dont know why so many think that public school kids
get more or better socialization!!
As far as the socializing goes,in JR high and highschool,the only reason I went to school was to socialize!Not to learn.I think there is a time and place for everthing,socializing like I did in school was not the time or the place.
You do have the right time and place when HS.
But keep in mind,my girls are only 21 months now far from "school age"We are still filling our minds with knowelage to find the path for our girls,but we want the decision to be an educated one.
Our initial reaction was that socialization is something very small children need to experience intensely, appropriate preschool stuff, and then it is irrelevant to schooling, so I have my heart set on HS'g. But DH is hesitant about HS'g ...
So we sent DS#1 to a preschool. And he's had all the socialization experiences a child could have, including having his little heart broken. This is not my idea of what's supposed to be happening. His broken heart breaks mine, too. So in the end this socialization experiment is what is turning DH more in the HS'g direction.
The facts to me are that socialization is what we learn when we live life, not what happens when 20-some-odd kids of the same age are thrown into a room for eight hours a day.
It's actually odd that most Americans believe that to learn social skills a child must be away from hoome and their parents a good part of the day, with a group of peers who may have nothing in common but age, and lorded over by one aduwith total power. Personally, I felel that everyday life is the best place to learn social skills, and I guess it muxt be working because I get a lot of comments about hoiw polite my children are.
|Originally posted by khrisday
and I guess it muxt be working because I get a lot of comments about hoiw polite my children are.
Stough (1992),looking particularly at socialization, compared 30 home-schooling families and 32 conventionally schooling families, families with children 7-14 years of age. According to the findings, children who were schooled at home "gained the necessary skills, knowledge, and attitudes needed to function in society...at a rate similar to that of conventionally schooled children." The researcher found no difference in the self concept of children in the two groups. Stough maintains that "insofar as self concept is a reflector of socialization, it would appear that few home-schooled children are socially deprived, and that there may be sufficient evidence to indicate that some home-schooled children have a higher self concept than conventionally schooled children."
"This echoes the findings of Taylor (1987). Using one of the best validated self-concept scales available, Taylor's random sampling of home-schooled children (45,000) found that half of these children scored at or above the 91st percentile--47% higher than the average, conventionally schooled child. He concludes: "Since self concept is considered to be a basic dynamic of positive sociability, this answers the often heard skepticism suggesting that home schoolers are inferior in socialization" (Taylor, 1987)."
The foundation for all this thinking is summed up by John Taylor Gatto in his book "The Underground History of American Education": "The destructive myth of the 20th century was the aggressive contention that a child could not grow up correctly in the unique circumstances of his own family. Forced schooling was the principal agency broadcasting this attitude.
Socialization isn't a valid argument for me from opponents of homeschooling. It's one of the main reasons I want to homeschool.
Another thing people fail to understand is that school is just not like the real, adult world. The world is not age segregated. Most adults don't ridicule and make fun of other adults. I was the victim of ridicule and I can tell you I'd have been a much more secure young adult had I not had to endure that. By the same token, I was mercifully naive and had no idea that other kids in my high school were doing drugs and having sex. I don't think that I would have capitulated had I been pressured, but I don't know that I wouldn't have either, I was made fun of for years...I don't know if I'd have been given a chance to finally fit in if I'd have snatched it up.
A big part of our homeschooling decision was protecting our kids from the socialization that happens there, and taking that very important part of their growing up into our own hands. We've not yet been disappointed.
As for toddlers and socialization, most 2-3 year olds really cannot deal with a lot of time with kids their own age. Our 2 year old is a very social little guy...because of his older siblings who take the time to talk with him, interact with him and let him 'hang out' with them. He's learning from their example and when he does get with kids his own age he plays quite nicely because that's how he's treated. One of my favorite sights is my 3 boys...ages 15, 8 and 2, all sitting on the double bed in the older boys' room. The two older ones playing playstation, the 2 year old with a broken controller sitting right up with them pushing buttons like mad and laughing and having a good old time with them. The 15 year old will look at him and say "I'm winning"...and the 2 year old, still pushing the buttons of the disconnected controller says "no, I winning!" and they laugh and laugh.
I was bad because we were poor,
I was bad because I brought my luch (so no one would eat with me)
I was bad because I didn't wear the right clothes
I was bad because I didn't have a cabbagePatch doll (so I didn't have anyone to play with at recess because they all brought thier dolls and played with them)
I was bad because I didn't play sports
I was bad because I lived in the Apartments (government housing)
I was bad because i didn't have the right hair
I was bad because I hung around with loosers (because I was bad : )
I was bad because I was smart (since I had no friends I had nothing better to do than homework)
I was bad because I was Emory's sister (He was really bad, poor guy, because he had most of te above, was metally slow, overweight and buck toothed and his name was Emory)
I was bad because my parents were devorsed
I must be really bad because I didn't have any friends.
By High school I was OK but everytime i tried to be social I got in trouble (Ironically the teachers loved me in grade school because I never talked to anyone.) So much for socialization. I just can't think of anything socially my children will learn in school that will apy in the real world.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
I want my kids' lives to be as happy as possible. And let's face it, going to school adds levels of misery that are just better left unexperienced. They're gonna have enough issues w/out all that emotional drama.
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