Anyone have to convince their child to hs? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 10-24-2004, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 5yo dd is in AM kindergarten and she says she loves it. But I'm not so sure *I* like it. If someday we make the leap to homeschooling, I would have to embark on a serious marketing plan to get dd to see the benefits. Dragging her out of the public school kicking and screaming would jeopardize my confidence and strengthen dh's resolve against homeschooling.

So far my strategy has been:

1. hang out with other homeschooling kids
2. talk about kindergarten like it is a program just like any other class (violin, swimming, art) and that we only have time to do X programs
3. try to talk about school year to year, without assuming that she will be in the same school (or any) each year

Honestly, this is not the biggest concern I have about homeschooling, it is just the one I deal with on a daily basis. Everyone asks dd and me how she likes school, expresses delight to hear she loves it, and dismisses any concerns I have, e.g. "So what if the only art they do is coloring pages? She LOVES school, and that's what is important!"
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#2 of 14 Old 10-24-2004, 01:08 PM
 
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I think you're wise not to force it. Could you plan to attend a trip or activity with the hs group now and then? If she ends up enjoying it, you could point out that she could do it more often if she was hsing.

My oldest left school in the middle of the school year and my dd (then in K) wanted to finish out the year. (I think she wanted to see what she was missing.) She did finish out the year in school, but meanwhile, her brother was going to work with "Dad" and working on his own projects and going to museums and the park and to playgroup with other hsers. Although those last few months of school were quite a trial, it was what she wanted and SHE made the decision to come home, because she realized she was missing out by being stuck in a classroom.

Good luck.

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#3 of 14 Old 10-24-2004, 03:08 PM
 
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My son was not happy when we told him we were going to hs him, this was right before 2nd grade. His biggest concern was he wouldn't get to see his friends and he wanted a room to look like a classroom. He is still good friends with kids from his school.Having kids over helps with this. We also told him right now this was the best thing for him. It did help that alot of his friends from church were hs and we did a hs coop 1 day a week. We are now in our 4th year, we take it year by year, it does help that I have the support from my husband. He wasn't too keen on the idea when I brought it up, but he saw our son was not doing well there. I told him give me 1 year and if you dont think it is working I will send him back. My son now does not want to go back to ps, but that might change latter on. I hope this helps.
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#4 of 14 Old 10-24-2004, 04:26 PM
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I know we need to consider our childrens feelings when making decisions, but a young child can't see the bigger picture or have the maturity for these decisions. You need to do what is best for the child and the family.

On a side note, anytime my child has thought about ps is when she hasn't had enough time for social activities. She is an extrovert so I have to keep that in mind when planning our school year.
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#5 of 14 Old 10-24-2004, 05:37 PM
 
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My dd was not happy about starting HS'ing. I was ready to take her out of Kindergarten, she loved it soo much. I hated it, it was such a poor situation, very disorganized.

Anyway she still did 1st grade, because her and dh did not want to HS. By the end of first grade dh came around after our last parent/teacher conf. DD was still work, I started doing hS projects with her on the weekend and would say to her" This is the kinda stuff we would do if we HS." Told her about taking classes, like piano and art. We have some great HS friends who we met at just the right time. 2 girls my dd's age, she talked to them about hs'ing. When 2nd grade started i told her lets try it for one year and see what she thinks. She agreed, I still make a point of letting her see that the things she takes part in now she would not be able to if she was in PS. I let her set the pace for the days work and decide what special projects we do. I always ask her how she feels about HS'ing and what she likes abou it and does not. It is going well, her biggest concern about not being in PS was she wanted a school desk to wok at, we found her one and now she is happy

Also i know I could have just taken her out of Kindergarten and said this is what we are doing now. But I do/did not want our HS'ing exp. to be a big battle of wills. i wanted it to be something she wanted to do also and have an active part in. I am glad I worked with her to help her see how HS'ing would be a great thing for all of us. JMO
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#6 of 14 Old 06-03-2005, 07:47 PM
 
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I don't think you should ever force hs. If your child doesn't want to do it, don't make them.
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#7 of 14 Old 06-03-2005, 07:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snyderjoint
I don't think you should ever force hs. If your child doesn't want to do it, don't make them.
Just wondering, do you feel the same the same about forcing a child who doesn't want to go to attend ps?
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#8 of 14 Old 06-03-2005, 07:57 PM
 
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I think the things you are doing already are great ways to introduce the concept. Parents do the same kind of prep for preschoolers about attending the big, new world of public school, kwim? And, like others have said, a child that young should not have the onus of choosing what's best for them in such a major decision, ultimately you are the parent Stick to your convictions
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#9 of 14 Old 06-03-2005, 09:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Just wondering, do you feel the same the same about forcing a child who doesn't want to go to attend ps?


This question has been posed more than once, and I would also like to know the answer.

Carrie
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#10 of 14 Old 06-03-2005, 10:41 PM
 
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No, I wouldn't force my kid to go to ps if they really didn't want to. If they wanted hs I would let them. I have nothing against it.
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#11 of 14 Old 06-04-2005, 12:20 AM
 
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Snyderjoint

What do you think is the best educational option for most children and why? Given your research, can you tell me when *you* think that homeschooling is best for children? When is instituationalized school better in your opinion and how?

Regarding this specific poster's situation and your answer, I'd like to know: what weight do you give to the parents' beliefs about what is right for their children, given that parents have the ability to assess the long term implications of school as a separate culture from the family and the abilities of the specific schools and teachers to serve the needs of their specific child(ren), whereas young children do not?


I realize that you are a young education major, and this is all just theory and research for you, but please keep in mind that for the parents on this support board these are real issues that they face daily with their children.

Karen

Blessed partner to a great guy, and mama to 4 amazing kids. Unfortunate target of an irrationally angry IRL stalker.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~ Buddha

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#12 of 14 Old 06-04-2005, 03:05 PM
 
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To be quite honest with you I don't know what I'd do if I had kids. I suppose that because I've always gone to public school and never had probelms with it. I don't know what it would take for me to finally say that hs is the best way to go.
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#13 of 14 Old 06-05-2005, 06:21 PM
 
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For us, my dd was in a montessori preschool for a while, before we homeschooled.

She LOVED it there. She did wonderfully, and loved it. Even still, as the parent, I decided that homeschooling would be a better option for us to explore (just as when a parent decides that a particular private school would be better).

Even though dd loved school, the transition to homeschooling was actually pretty smooth. I didn't expect a huge fight. I didn't make a huge deal about it. We just always talked that, and after _____, we'll be homeschooling. I didn't talk about it like it was some huge thing she'd be upset about. Just because she loves school, doesn't mean she wouldn't love homeschooling, too.

I mean, really, my dd was in a daycare before school, and she LOVED her auntie (home dcp) as well. But I still chose to send her to school, because I thought the school would better suit her newer needs. That daycare was perfect for her when she was younger. But she outgrew the setting. She moved on, and loving the daycare didn't prevent her from loving the school too.

So maybe having had that transition under our belts made it seem in my mind that the transition to homeschooling could be just as smooth.

Yes, sometimes, dd still talks about how great that school was, and that she'd like to go back sometimes. But's she's also talked that way about daycare (still misses playing with auntie all day). And also, when she was in school, she had days where she didn't feel like going, days when she wanted to be home, or go to the zoo instead of school. I think people are typically more dismissive of cries to Not go to school, than they are of pleas from a child TO go to school. Neither desire is more or less valid than the other. The situation needs to be evaluated, and feelings need to be acknowledged, and also sometimes recognized as fleeting.

Dd can miss school while thriving in a homeschooling environment. Missing something very special and pleasant doesn't mean the other options aren't right or good, or less special and pleasant. I'm glad that dd had such a good relationship with her daycare provider, that she still misses their time together. I would be bothered if she didn't. But missing auntie sometimes doesn't make me rethink my choice to be sahm.
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#14 of 14 Old 06-05-2005, 06:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snyderjoint
To be quite honest with you I don't know what I'd do if I had kids. I suppose that because I've always gone to public school and never had probelms with it. I don't know what it would take for me to finally say that hs is the best way to go.
I always went to public school, and never had problems with it. I loved school. It was a very positive experience.

My first exposure to homeschooling, was homeschooled peers, when I was in public high school. I was in a Good high school, taking all honors/AP courses, and my homeschooled peers were worlds ahead of us. How? Why?

So I looked into it. I've come to learn how the quality of education for a homeschooler, can simply be far superior to one achieved in a typical school setting.

I've also had experiences beyond high school, including simply exploring my own interests (adult homeschooling ), and a college education. These things reinforced what I'd learned about homeschooling. College is closer to homeschooling than a typical k-12 education. There are still aspects though, that lessen the experience, imo. There is certainly room for improvement, as much as I loved going to college.
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