What am I going to do with the kids? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 51 Old 12-28-2004, 05:10 PM
 
Britishmum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 4,345
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I recall my mum constantly saying "I can't wait to get them back to school". It always really upset me as a child

I get people telling me now that I 'need' dd in school so that I can get a break. Why do they all think that I feel the same as they would if they stayed home with 3 kids? Weird.........
Britishmum is offline  
#32 of 51 Old 12-29-2004, 02:58 AM
 
mogit's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have friends who both work outside the home and put their two kids in daycare. There is no "school" this week, so I was hoping we could all get together for a playdate. But no, my friends are sending the kids to daycare every day "so we can get some things done"! I just don't understand how putting the house in order could be more appealing than spending time as a family over the holidays. And what about the kids? They're three and 10 months, by the way.

Then there's my other friend who stayed home for two years and put her three kids in daycare fulltime because "that's the only time I get to myself"! I agree with the PP who asked, If you don't want to be with your kids, why did you have three of them?!?

I do think parents who work out of the home fulltime have a distorted picture of life as a SAHP. I try to explain that when the kid/s (just one in my case) are home all the time, you settle into a rhythm with them. You don't need to plan activities to occupy them every single minute. A lot of times they are along for the ride while you do what *you need to do, and other times they are happily amusing themselves because they have had some relaxed time with you and know they will have it again if they need it.

I'll bet if children had more of a chance to deschool and parents to "de-work," there would be fewer complaints about vacation time.
mogit is offline  
#33 of 51 Old 12-29-2004, 11:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
ekblad9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just a slingin'
Posts: 8,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mogit
I have friends who both work outside the home and put their two kids in daycare. There is no "school" this week, so I was hoping we could all get together for a playdate. But no, my friends are sending the kids to daycare every day "so we can get some things done"! I just don't understand how putting the house in order could be more appealing than spending time as a family over the holidays. And what about the kids? They're three and 10 months, by the way.

Then there's my other friend who stayed home for two years and put her three kids in daycare fulltime because "that's the only time I get to myself"! I agree with the PP who asked, If you don't want to be with your kids, why did you have three of them?!?

.
Things like that make me so sad for the children. What is wrong with people? My SIL has a "friend" that does the same thing. Even leaves her child in daycare when the daycare calls and says he threw up and has a fever. I just don't get it. When I had my oldest son, I was a single mother and had to work. I also went to college. I took him in a sling with me to classes and worked nights so I could be with him as much as possible. I am so thankful everyday that I am able to be home with my kids everyday now.

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

ekblad9 is offline  
#34 of 51 Old 12-29-2004, 11:45 AM
Banned
 
sha_lyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 895
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been reading a thread at another site that just has me so sad. These people are convinced that their children need to be in school all the time to stay "socialized" and entertained. I really wanted to say something, but I just kept my mouth shut.
sha_lyn is offline  
#35 of 51 Old 12-29-2004, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
ekblad9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just a slingin'
Posts: 8,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sha_lyn
I've been reading a thread at another site that just has me so sad. These people are convinced that their children need to be in school all the time to stay "socialized" and entertained. I really wanted to say something, but I just kept my mouth shut.

Ah yes, the pack mentality. The children must stay in the pack to be socialized. Ugh, yuk!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

ekblad9 is offline  
#36 of 51 Old 01-03-2005, 03:21 AM
 
Brisen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Eastern Ontario
Posts: 6,874
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
hahaha, lula, that's a good one!

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

***4***8****13***17***21****26***heartbeat.gif****35****40

Brisen is online now  
#37 of 51 Old 01-03-2005, 03:26 AM
 
Openskyheart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Northern California
Posts: 655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by Sha_lyn:

That reminds me of all the reasons DH and my mom told me not to homeschool DS. His countless hrs of homework were stressing us out. I was told if homework bothered us then HS'ing would drive me nuts.
It is just the oppisite, because we don't have the stress that school was giving both of us
You got that right, Sha-lyn. I keep telling people that homeschooling is nothing like homework over and over. I think just about everyone imagines that homeschooling must be like a hellish nightmare of homework all. day. long. :LOL! Oh, how wrong they are!

Laura
Openskyheart is offline  
#38 of 51 Old 01-03-2005, 03:33 AM
Banned
 
sha_lyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 895
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When my mom drops by on the way home from work, she keeps asking my kids if they have homework they need to do instead of visiting with her.
sha_lyn is offline  
#39 of 51 Old 01-03-2005, 10:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
ekblad9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just a slingin'
Posts: 8,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sha_lyn
When my mom drops by on the way home from work, she keeps asking my kids if they have homework they need to do instead of visiting with her.
:LOL that is too funny!!!

I guess most kids are going back to school today. Glad mine aren't. I would miss them.

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

ekblad9 is offline  
#40 of 51 Old 01-06-2005, 07:54 PM
 
Verity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: talking to myself in public
Posts: 3,846
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am just starting to seriously consider homeschooling, so please bear with me.

I think just about everyone imagines that homeschooling must be like a hellish nightmare of homework all. day. long.

I have talked to people who homeshool, and they assure me that it is NOT this way. I wish I could be a fly on a wall in their homes, though! I can understand how a person could homeschool one child, but I honestly can't picture it with more than one. (I have three.)

I keep having nagging feelings that sending my kids to school is like throwing them to the wolves (read: peers!), particularly when my ds is supposed to start middle school next year. The thought of having my kids in public middle school and high school depresses and scares me. I have a lot of reading and research to do.

Also, I'm not trying to sound like one of *those* parents (you know, the ones that count down the days until the end of school break), but how do homeschooling parents get a break? I'd love to hear what works for you and how you keep from getting burned out.
Verity is offline  
#41 of 51 Old 01-06-2005, 08:03 PM
Banned
 
sha_lyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 895
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Luckily my oldest is 15 so I can have him watch my 7 yr old if needed. Also my mom lives 15 miles away, so the kids often go over to her house for the weekend, just usually not together. However DS often babysits for a friend, or is out of town with our TSD instructor for seminars. I've also taken up things for me, such as belly dancing and knitting. Both can be very therapeutic for me.
sha_lyn is offline  
#42 of 51 Old 01-06-2005, 08:34 PM
 
Linda KS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Verity
Also, I'm not trying to sound like one of *those* parents (you know, the ones that count down the days until the end of school break), but how do homeschooling parents get a break? I'd love to hear what works for you and how you keep from getting burned out.
My kids play on their own really well. Being home with them now is a heck of lot easier than taking care of them when they were tots I can and do take breaks while they are doing their own thing.

They sometimes take classes that require they be away from home and away from me. These are short breaks -- one morning a month at zoo school, 1 hour 15 min. once a week for gymnastics, etc.

Sometimes on weekends my DH takes the kids and goes out for awhile, or I go out by myself. I like the down time. I don't need it every week, but I like knowing I can take it if I need to.
Linda KS is offline  
#43 of 51 Old 01-06-2005, 11:07 PM
 
oldcrunchymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: On Mulder's Desk
Posts: 2,569
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
double post
oldcrunchymom is offline  
#44 of 51 Old 01-06-2005, 11:09 PM
 
oldcrunchymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: On Mulder's Desk
Posts: 2,569
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[double post]
oldcrunchymom is offline  
#45 of 51 Old 01-07-2005, 03:30 PM
 
Fieryfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: N. CA
Posts: 727
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I get questions about "mommy breaks" quite often since I homeschool and do daycare. We all need breaks to ourselves every day since we are spending so much time together. We have a rest time in the afternoon that I have set aside for everyone to do something by themselves and I demand to be left alone. As the kids get older, it is easier to find pockets of time throughout the day to sit down and put my feet up. I love to read and I do it while the kids play outside, or are engrossed in their own play for 10-20 minutes.

DH and my extended family are also great help in getting time ALONE to myself in the evenings and on weekends. I play women's soccer and coed softball during the spring and summer which gives me up to 2 nights out a week. The kids spend the night with both sets of grandparents and my sister several times a month.

Sometimes just getting together with another friend who has kids can give us both some time to sit back and chat while the kids entertain each other. Those breaks are the best since I spend time with a friend and the kids get their dose of "socialization".
Fieryfly is offline  
#46 of 51 Old 01-07-2005, 07:11 PM
 
mama_kass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: East Tennessee
Posts: 2,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is very sad that some parents do get so disconnected from their children that they don't even ''know them". Still I know plenty of parents that have children in school that are very close to their children. When parents tell me stuff like they couldn't be around their kids all the time I think it is just culture talking through them. I believe if they kept their children home after an adjustment period they would love it better than anything else in the world.
mama_kass is offline  
#47 of 51 Old 01-07-2005, 07:32 PM
 
Wilhemina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Villa Villekulla
Posts: 2,373
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Verity
I am just starting to seriously consider homeschooling, so please bear with me. how do homeschooling parents get a break? I'd love to hear what works for you and how you keep from getting burned out.
I feared this too when I first considered hsing. Honestly it has not been a problem at all! Things have fallen into place quite nicely, and like pps have said, many little pockets of time pop up during the day to read or visit with another mom.

Like Fieryfly, we have a daily "read and rest" time during which we each (2 dds and I) spend time apart doing something quiet/restful. It begins with a long reading aloud session, so everyone is feeling mellow and quiet anyway.

Both dds have weekly play dates with their respective best friends (and occassionally other dates, too). Usually I can coordinate it so that I have one afternoon every two weeks completely to myself while they play happily under the other moms' supervision.

Sometimes I take the girls to the gym where they stay in childcare while I work out. This is becoming less popular with the girls, though, so I'm still working on this one.

That's just the "school day" times. Evenings and weekends are no problem with dh and occassionally my folks to share the girls' company.

HTH
Wilhemina is offline  
#48 of 51 Old 01-07-2005, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
ekblad9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just a slingin'
Posts: 8,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I snatch up a half hour here and there in my room to read or rest. Sometimes in the evenings dh will let me take a bath. I used to get my "me" time when the kids went to bed but as they get older they stay up until at least 10 or 11 so there's no free time after that. I find it refreshing to just take one or two kids out with me somewhere. That way dh has a few and so do I. Dh goes to the gym and takes some of the kids sometimes. Usually he will take the two younger ones so that leaves me with the older kids. We can do games and experiments that we can't do with the little ones around.

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

ekblad9 is offline  
#49 of 51 Old 01-07-2005, 08:34 PM
lab
 
lab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: everywhere baby!
Posts: 3,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I haven't read the thread - just responding to the op....

I had to respond even though I don't homeschool - I just check in here to see what's going on since I want to homeschool eventually.....

My kids are in school and I look forward to breaks, vacation and summer! I cry! when school starts back in the fall.....

My kids just went back to school on Tuesday after the holiday break and I have been in a funk for 3 days! I finally put my finger on it yesterday - I miss them!

I also HATE HATE HATE it when people say that crap to me. People ask me all the time in the summer (especially since I have 3 kids, 3 years apart) "I bet you can't wait for them to go back to school" I always come out swinging when people say that!

Just wanted to give a POV from the other side......

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds17
lab is offline  
#50 of 51 Old 01-07-2005, 08:42 PM
lab
 
lab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: everywhere baby!
Posts: 3,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamapoppins
I have a very dear friend who pulls her dc out of school somedays, just because she misses them!

mp


:LOL I do this too! I do it one at a time though......

I'm not the only one!

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds17
lab is offline  
#51 of 51 Old 01-07-2005, 10:10 PM
 
luv my 2 sweeties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,162
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
My kids are in school and I look forward to breaks, vacation and summer! I cry! when school starts back in the fall.....
You aren't alone. My sister feels the same (her kids are in 2nd and 4th grades). We had a snowstorm here a couple of nights ago and all the area schools were closed on Thursday. I talked to my sister Thursday evening and she was going on about how excited *she* had been that the kids didn't have to go to school! :LOL (The kids were psyched too, of course!)

I'm feeling more and more sure that my sister is going to give in and homeschool pretty soon. I know she's started to think about it. It would be a bit awkward right now since she's the PTA president, but she's even getting fed up with that position since she feels such opposition from the teachers to anything new she wants to try. :

Stephanie mom to Brianna (6/00) , Alexander (6/02) , and Ethan (9/07) .
luv my 2 sweeties is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off