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#1 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I keep hearing from my non homeschooling acquaintances about Christmas break and whatever will they do with their kids home all of the time? I often hear this during summer vacation as well. Drives me insane! What is an appropriate response? Why must they complain to me? They know my kids are always home all of the time. Does this bug anyone else?

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#2 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 01:49 PM
 
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Yes, and I've only got the one so far, and these people have preschoolers. Those six or eight hours a week that their kids are gone must really make a difference?? I just sort of smile and internally laugh. These are all women who have *chosen* to stay home with their kids, but sometimes you wonder why from the way they talk.

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#3 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 01:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ekblad7+
I keep hearing from my non homeschooling acquaintances about Christmas break and whatever will they do with their kids home all of the time? I often hear this during summer vacation as well. Drives me insane! What is an appropriate response? Why must they complain to me? They know my kids are always home all of the time. Does this bug anyone else?

I just want to when I hear moms say that. Of course they must say that right IN FRONT of the children :
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#4 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 05:19 PM
 
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Drives me nuts. I *want* to say "Hellooo! These are your children. You should be excited that they are home and you can spend time together, duh!" I usually just say something like, "Really? Wow, I really enjoy being with my kids. We always find something to do. I can't imagine not knowing what to do with them."

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#5 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, so I'm not alone here. And who says there has to be a million structured activities. How about board games and stories? Building with blocks and legos. Hanging out with a cup of hot chocolate? That's why I love homeschooling, we can do those things anytime!

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#6 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 05:40 PM
 
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Yes I get those comments too. I have friends who literally count down the day until school starts again. I don't know what to say to these people- I don't think they will ever have the mindset to enjoy thier kids.
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#7 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 05:44 PM
 
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ugh! I can't imagine how the kids feel... I just respond with "I'm sure you have lots of books you could read together" or "if you'd like to borrow some board games we have plenty" What is it with our society and thinking that kids have to be in a directed activity every minute of the day. Boredm breeds creativity.
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#8 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 06:05 PM
 
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Yes, I get this too. Even when my kids were in school, I was excited to have them home all the time for summers and vacations.

I think, though, I know one reason why people say this: It really is harder to have schooled kids home for vacations than it is to have homeschooled kids home all the time. It's like the schooled kids are having mini-deschooling experiences: they and the parents really don't know what to do with themselves when they are home together all day. So, the kids act out more, and the parents - not having developed the tools for dealing with bored kids at home - feel frustrated and at a loss.

I have several friends who ask me this in the summer: How can you do this all the time, when I can hardly even get through a summer with them? And I explain to them - In the summer, your kids are deschooling. My kids have already deschooled, so we don't go through all that boredom, and acting out stuff anymore. Simple!

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#9 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 06:11 PM
 
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You know though that their kids have been trained to be entertained for many hours of the week. They are "on" their parents and edgy in a way that hs'ers rarely are. I say this because many of my son's PreK friends come over with a "what's next on the entertainment docket" attitude, and that is fatiguing. Maybe there is some way to state a response that captures that . . . just some thoughts, no answers.
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#10 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 06:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thmom
ugh! I can't imagine how the kids feel...
We had a family dinner yesterday and I was asked about homeschooling. There was this big conversation with many "I couldn't stand being home with my kids all day!" laments.

Funny, there's nowhere I'd rather be.

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#11 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 07:21 PM
 
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Are these all SAHMs that say this? Because for parents who work outside the home, what to do with the kids during school breaks IS a really big deal.

But for SAHPs, I agree -- your kids are at school all year long, wouldn't you enjoy the extra time during the day with them?

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#12 of 51 Old 12-20-2004, 10:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasha_girl
We had a family dinner yesterday and I was asked about homeschooling. There was this big conversation with many "I couldn't stand being home with my kids all day!" laments.

Funny, there's nowhere I'd rather be.
I really don't like it when people say they couldn't stand being home with their kids all day. I feel like that is such a mean thing to say.

And yes, for WOHM's what to do with the kids would be an issue. But for SAHP's it shouldn't be such a big deal.

I agree about the deschooling thing, though. That would be a pain!

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#13 of 51 Old 12-21-2004, 05:06 PM
 
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I find that very sad too. I love being with my kids! I guess if they are nor used to being around each other, it would be hard. People that question my homeschooling usually do so on the basis that I need a break. As if that's impossible when HS.
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#14 of 51 Old 12-21-2004, 05:17 PM
 
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Maybe just tactfully suggest the museum, the zoo, whatever. Or tell how your kids had a great time making something out of a cardboard box recently, or how you went to the library and came home with a stack of books.

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#15 of 51 Old 12-22-2004, 12:13 AM
 
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I hear this all the time. One parent actually said she hates the holidays. because her kids are home.

I just said I love being with my kids. If I did not want to spend time with them I woud not have had them.

The worst thing I heard was I could not stand being home with the kids.
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#16 of 51 Old 12-22-2004, 01:02 AM
 
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These kinds of comments really bug me, too, and I just canNOT relate at all. If my son was in school I'd be counting down the days to vacations, not the other way around.
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#17 of 51 Old 12-22-2004, 01:21 AM
 
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I wonder what the kids think when the overhear stuff like that.
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#18 of 51 Old 12-23-2004, 05:19 AM
 
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This makes me think of my J.High boyfriend/penpal. Poor thing went to military school an hour away from his home. Then every vacation he got, he was sent away to relatives
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#19 of 51 Old 12-23-2004, 05:07 PM
 
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I think the real question should be "how are the kids going to handle being with you?" said with sweet innocent smile of course.
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#20 of 51 Old 12-23-2004, 07:47 PM
 
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some mamas I know were talking about this very thing. I was astonished! I couldn't believe they were saying it in front of their kids. I would think that they would be very happy indeed to have family time.
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#21 of 51 Old 12-25-2004, 09:51 AM
 
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She starts counting down the days for school to start the day they start summer break..

I've finally come to the conclusion she really doesn't know how to enjoy the time she has with her kids.She just doesn't have a clue.
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#22 of 51 Old 12-25-2004, 09:44 PM
 
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I *love* school breaks (mine and theirs) because I get to spend quality time with my kids. I love them and we try to keep things as simple and unstructured as possible. Even though my kids are PS'ed, they are very creative and resourceful, unlike many of their peers. Its great.

But I hear a lot of that whinning too, it breaks my heart.
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#23 of 51 Old 12-25-2004, 11:17 PM
 
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Maybe the non-hs-ing moms who are saying this in front of hs-ing moms are looking for ideas and cheerleading?

I am now trying to think about how to make at-home time more enriching for my not-quite-two-year-old. I can definitely see how someone might start out a conversation looking for positive feedback with some kvetching! Though my son is so enthusiastic about learning new things that, even though I am not a big fan of homeschooling, I'm starting to flirt with it. I mean, what if he continues to exhibit this level of delight whenever he learns something new? It is really tempting to want to hang out with him and be there when he learns new things, just, indefinitely.

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#24 of 51 Old 12-25-2004, 11:46 PM
 
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I look foward to breaks from school because I miss my kids so much, and its an opportunity for trips and board games and all the things we usually have to cram in if we want to do at all. And we get to sleep later, and have long talks, etc... However, I can also relate to the sentiments of complaining parents, for reasons I'll explain.....though I think its horrible to say these things in front of the kids.

Quote:
e. It's like the schooled kids are having mini-deschooling experiences: they and the parents really don't know what to do with themselves when they are home together all day.
This rings very true for us. One of the biggest difficulties is the fact that the kids take about a week to adjust to being home together, and they bicker and fight and yell at each other to no end until they've mellowed and gotten used to each other. So that first week of summer break is torturous for all of us, and short breaks throughout the year are hard too. I count on the fact that they will find their groove and we'll all start to enjoy each other eventually. But the transition can be very rough.

Also, what a previous poster said about working parents -- it affects my availability at work, and sometimes that is hard to manage too.
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#25 of 51 Old 12-26-2004, 03:41 AM
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It drives me nust when I here that. DS is often ask during break to wear the kids out during TSD (Tang Soo Do, Similar to TaKwonDo). the parents say they don't know what do do unless the kids are sleeping or eating.

the person that bothered me the most was an "ex" friend who worked but her Dad watched her DS when school was out. He was in school 5days a week, 8 hrs a day and at his dads every other weekend. On the weekend he wasn't at his dads he was at his gradfathers house. Her reason being she needed a break after putting up with him all week. Hello, she saw him for 30 in the am before school, and about 2 hrs in the evening before bed. She spent on average 10 whole hrs a week with him, most of that time being meals, home work or getting ready for bed. She couldn't wait to ship him off to his dads for vactions, winter break etc.
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#26 of 51 Old 12-28-2004, 01:40 AM
 
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I hear this too, and I want to ask them why the he!! they had kids if they didn't want to be with them? :

If asked how "I do it", I usually avoid answering, and just say that it's not for everyone. Because it's not. It's not even for me everyday!

Sadly, but true, these are the parents who will complain that their adult dc NEVER come to visit them! Duh! And why would they when they heard all of their childhood how their parents didn't want them around! :

I have a very dear friend who pulls her dc out of school somedays, just because she misses them!

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#27 of 51 Old 12-28-2004, 01:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sha_lyn
the person that bothered me the most was an "ex" friend who worked but her Dad watched her DS when school was out. He was in school 5days a week, 8 hrs a day and at his dads every other weekend. On the weekend he wasn't at his dads he was at his gradfathers house. Her reason being she needed a break after putting up with him all week. Hello, she saw him for 30 in the am before school, and about 2 hrs in the evening before bed. She spent on average 10 whole hrs a week with him, most of that time being meals, home work or getting ready for bed. She couldn't wait to ship him off to his dads for vactions, winter break etc.
Well yeah, the time she spent with him was totally stressful for her because she was responsible for getting him ready for school before work (go! go! go! we're both going to be late! what do you mean you forgot your lunch?) and then for helping him wind down and do homework (hurry! hurry! hurry! oh no, now you have to sleep! what if you don't get enough sleep, you will be impossible! etc.) and never got to hang out with him when they were both relaxed. So of course she wanted to have some one else look after him, after all he was a complicating factor in every stressful day!

You can't like your children if you only spend the worst time of every day with them. I'm happy we have so many good hours now to build love and humor.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#28 of 51 Old 12-28-2004, 12:18 PM
 
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For me, it kind of depends on how they say it (body language, tone of voice, etc.) If they seem to truely not enjoy time with their kids, or say it in front of their kids, that's very unfortunate. But sometimes I think people are just letting off steam about that transition process that mamaduck talked about. I can be sympathetic to that. Also, school breaks are a major change in routine even for SAHP. For some of us who like routine , that change is not always something we look forward to, even though once we are used to the "new" routine, it's fine and even fun.

But overall, I agree -- it's too bad that kids have become so much of a burden to have around. My sister's kids are in school, and she really looks forward to breaks. She has commented to me about how astounded she is to hear so many other parents complaining about school vacations.

Stephanie mom to Brianna (6/00) , Alexander (6/02) , and Ethan (9/07) .
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#29 of 51 Old 12-28-2004, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captain optimism
You can't like your children if you only spend the worst time of every day with them. I'm happy we have so many good hours now to build love and humor.

That reminds me of all the reasons DH and my mom told me not to homeschool DS. His countless hrs of homework were stressing us out. I was told if homework bothered us then HS'ing would drive me nuts.
It is just the oppisite, because we don't have the stress that school was giving both of us.
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#30 of 51 Old 12-28-2004, 04:57 PM
 
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Out of the mouths of babies:

We hear this comment often. My niece made this comment about her 6 year old daughter.

My daughter asked, “Why don’t you like to GN, she is very nice and fun?” My great niece and her had been playing all day long. Lets say things got real quite until my sil changed the topic of conversation.
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