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unschoolers?!

1K views 23 replies 14 participants last post by  kel 
#1 ·
I am wondering if there are any unschoolers out here....

My ds is a bit over 2.5 and I plan on unschooling him -- in fact, I guess we already do that


How or did you all make a transition to 'we are in school' mode in your own heads? Sometimes I feel like I am not capable enough to be present enough to unschool my son. At other times, I feel like I get way too into 'teacher' mode and he tunes out.

I would love to hear stories about unschooling in the beginiing years

thanks
 
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#2 ·
For us, as unschoolers, the major benefit is never having to have a *teacher mode* unless it's child-led. I've always been an explainer, I've got wonderful family members and friends who are also explainers. Childless people tease me about just looking at something without discussing or questioning ~ virtually impossible for me
same for the kids. (i.e. can't look at a giraffe without commenting they have the same number of cervical vertebre as humans
). You'll soon learn what kind of approach works with your child's attention span. The main idea is don't worry about it~ Life *is* Learning.
 
#3 ·
We're unschooling.

The problem with the word "unschooling" is that it's got "school" in it. Forget school. School is for those who go there or bring it home. Unschoolers having nothing to do with school.

Did you go into school mode when your son was at the age where he should be learning to walk? Or did you wait for it to happen, keep your hands ready to help keep him from falling, encourage him, applaud him? The latter is unschooling.

There are a number of threads on these boards about unschooling. You could do a search. And a wonderful resource for unschoolers is unschooling.com. The boards there are particularly helpful.

Enjoy!
 
#4 ·
thanks for your replies


I think it is hitting me more right now because whenever I meet people at the park, the question often turns to preschool because of my son's age. When I mention unschooling, the whole vibe often changes
people think I am a freak-- why wouldn't I want to send my boy of to a government daycare ooops I mean school.

I guess sometimes I worry that our day isn't structured enough (not even structured as in school) just structured at all. I kind of just do errands and chores and head to the park when we can-- it is so free-flowing that I sometimes wonder if it is valid, ykwim? But I can also see that ds is ahead of his peers in speech and spatial understanding so I must be doing something right. I guess, really - just being with him is doing something right.

I will check out unschooling.com thanks for the link
 
#5 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by sparrow
I kind of just do errands and chores and head to the park when we can-- it is so free-flowing that I sometimes wonder if it is valid, ykwim? ...just being with him is doing something right
You've just described our day! Add a few stops to check out artwork (in office buildings) and window shopping and you've got it!!

Just so ya know, when I'm at a "homeschooling" function and am asked how long I've been homeschooling, I always answer "since birth" :LOL
 
#7 ·
Some young children (like mine) thrive on routines. We have routines for everything. This doesn't have anthing to do with educational theories, I've just found my kids are happiest with routines.

"Structure" is a funky word. Our homes are structures, but so are prisons. Having structure is neither good nor bad, it is a matter of how it works for the people involved. If you guys are happy, then what you are doing is working for you.

You might try finding a homeschooling group where you live. Most are very open to moms whose children are not yet school aged and chances are that there will be other little kids there, too (younger siblings of school aged kids).
 
#8 ·
I don't know about my girls, but sometimes I need a little structure for myself. It's nice to have something planned a few mornings a week, just to get me up and going. And then it's nice to have those other days where we lounge around all day! It's also easier for me to get everybody fed all day and dinner on the table at a reasonable hour if I keep myself to some sort of structure when it comes to the kitchen. I guess my own structure affects my children.

We do do stuff like classes, when they're available, appropriate for my girls' ages interests, and affordable. That adds some structure. This fall we're going swimming one afternoon a week with a gym period following, the library story hour one morning a week, possibly a language club once day a week and possibly a game club one afternoon a week. And one girl will be going to a playgroup with me once a week while the other is with grandma. And one afternoon a week we pick up our CSA order, which is a big thing.
 
#9 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by sparrow
I kind of just do errands and chores and head to the park when we can-- it is so free-flowing that I sometimes wonder if it is valid, ykwim

Ikwym--I sometimes think to myself, "It shouldn't be this easy." or "It isn't supposed to be this much fun." (Sad reflection on my own schooling!) But, you know, there's no reason in the world why your life can't be free-flowing and casual and still full of learning and wonder. Personally, I think it's much healthier than the "rat race" that much of our society seems to be caught up in.

hydrangea, I completely agree that the trouble with "unschooling" is that it includes the word "schooling." Any ideas for another term?
 
#10 ·
I used to have a real problem with the word unschool because it sounds so much like undoing something, and for kids who've never been to school that isn't the case. But then I thought about how a lot of words with un as a prefix just mean "not" - unimportant, uneasy, unrelated. STILL, I don't like having "school" within the term at all.

It is a useful term, especially when you're talking to another seasoned homeschooler, to explain yourself quickly. But when I'm talking to people I don't know or who aren't homeschoolers, I usually just say we homeschool. It's easier. I guess I could just say we don't school, but that would probably raise even more eyebrows and cause more questions.
 
#11 ·
kel, yes, I do the same--only when clarifying our style to other hsers do I use the term "unschooling." "Homeschooling" is enough of a deviation from the norm around here that it stuns most people.

I've tried some variations of "They're always learning" but that's just too unbelievable and causes more trouble than it's worth.

I would like to just say, "We live school-free."
 
#13 ·
i like the idea of not using the word 'unschooling' and finding other ways to describe our learnign choices. I spoke with my dh last night & he also liked the idea of just saying 'homeschool' to those who would have their minds blown by the concept of 'child-led learning' (i like that term
)

i guess in a certain sense I feel kind of like a pioneer, as I have no close role models to get ideas & feedback from... but I guess when it comes to education & life, we are all pioneers-- no one has lived these particular lives ever before
 
#14 ·
sparrow, I like that too. We started unschooling 15 years ago when no one had even heard of homeschooling. We just said we are educating our children at home. We used the term 'Home Educating' until 'HomeSchooling' became a popular term. Most people have heard of it and leave you alone so now it is just easier to say, but does not really reflect what we really do. I still don't use the term "un-schooling" unless I am around people who understand the concept. It seems kind of negitive. We believe in education, we just do it differently. I like what hahamommy said:

Quote:
Life *is* Learning.
The world is our classroom...or our oyster!

peace~
~b

edited to add: I also felt a little guilty over the years that life and learning have been so fun and carefree. I have no guilt now that I have 3 grown children who went on to do well in college and life after a life of living and learning at home!!! The 4 younger ones and I are happily enjoying the empty beaches and parks since the traditional schools started back up again recently.
 
#15 ·
Quote:
: I also felt a little guilty over the years that life and learning have been so fun and carefree. I have no guilt now that I have 3 grown children who went on to do well in college and life after a life of living and learning at home!!!
I am so glad you brought this up Barbara :-D This path is certainly filled with self-doubt; not for the impatient! It seems each time I am overwhelmed with the voices of dissent and doubt in my own head, my kids do something to remind me that it *does* work like this! For example, Math has been a big weakness for me, I really want to *cave* and get a curriculum, knowing full well I won't use it as prescribed, just to have *something* I can sit down and *teach.* I overhear a conversation between my *playing* children where Hannah is explaining to Hayden all the ways to get to 10; 5+5, 4+6, etc... She knows the concept!!! Without Mommy's direct intervention!!! Hayden has become the money fiend, counting coins, making dollar piles :-D We even talked about quarter means 1/4 and applies to everything, not just dollars. This didn't happen because I read in the book about how to teach this, or because it was a well planned lesson, :LOL it happened because I was hanging out with my kid and we were discussing money.
Life really will provide the Information we need to Live. Wow, I was in need of validation, thanks for letting me give it to myself!
 
#16 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by sparrow
I think it is hitting me more right now because whenever I meet people at the park, the question often turns to preschool because of my son's age. When I mention unschooling, the whole vibe often changes
people think I am a freak-- why wouldn't I want to send my boy of to a government daycare ooops I mean school.

I know what you mean. My DD is 2.5 and the questions have started coming about preschool and such. I hate to say anything at all because we haven't 100% made up our minds to homschool or not, but neither do I want to say we're enrolling her in preschool if we're not. So I ended up just saying, "I don't know yet what we're going to do, it's such an important decision, we're considering several options..." blah blah blah.


I'm enjoying this thread, btw.


~Jennifer
 
#17 ·
Thanks hahamommy, I was in need of a little validation myself! Math is my weak point also. I have found that when they need to know it, they learn it and learn it quickly.

If we just keep hanging out with our kids they will do well....and it will keep us out of trouble as well.


~barbara
 
#18 ·
Hi Sparrow~

I like your style. I have a ds and he is 3.5. I get the preschool question too. I like being different and I get a kick out of watching people when I tell them that not only doesn't my boy go to preschool but he's never going to set foot in any school. Another thing that happens is people feel like they have to start quizzing my son about facts. They ask him to count and do the alphabet! Like they have to check and see if the child has been taught any "civilized learning". Lol.

Some things about our unschooling..son calls it "homework" we basically build on things. Like we might start doing a puzzle of the United States and see a picture of a Gila Monster on the Arizona piece so he asks why is that lizard on that piece and so we go to the library and find out. We pick up acorns and do acorn math. Then we recycle them into a fall craft. We color, paint, playdoh, write with chalk. We have connect the dot books and mazes. We play Chutes and Ladders (get rid of the spinner) and use a dice so he gets great practice counting. We play Candy Land and we get practice with colors. We listen to stories
on tapes for quiet time and he hears about Greek myths like King Midas. You get the idea. Of course whatever your son's passion is another great learning motivator. Like collecting dinos.

I also find one of the best things about learning at home....is if you want to build a pillow and blanket boat in the middle of the living room there's nobody to tell you that isn't in the cirriculum!

Keep up the good work!
~Debbie
 
#19 ·
This will be our 2nd year unschooling our 9 yr old ds. It think it's been a little harder for us to get into this lifestyle because he was in school for three years. He avoided anything that seemed like learning most of last year. And I had panicked moments when I worried I was ruining his life. But it really seem to be the best way for him to learn. My dd is only 18 months and I think we'll have an easier time unschooling her. For her unschooling will just be living her life. I hope we get to that point with ds too.

I know what you mean about the guilt. There are so many people who could enjoy this lifestyle, but they just cannot "see" it.kwim? And even worse, there are people who could never afford to stay at home or even work part-time so that thay could unschool. I tend not to tell non-homeschoolers how relaxing and fun my life is now.
 
#20 ·
it's funny you mention the ability to afford to walk this path....

that's the one thing that I haven't quite figured out. We have lived very! frugal frugally since ds was born... and I have been able to SAH with him . But the one beneift I see from gov. daycare is that suddenly you have this whole block of time to use for making income (or whatever). Of course, it isn't a fair trade- and I would not consider putting him in school just for that reason... but it makes me mad sometimes that we have created this crazy society where to be even lower middle class, it seems like both parents have to work.
 
#21 ·
Sparrow, I totally agree.

The only thing I can say to give you hope here is that things really do get easier as your children get older. My two are 5 1/2 and 3 1/2 now and spend so much time playing together, are able to get their own snacks, drinks, etc., are okay with my asking them to hold off for a little while, and more. And it is much, much easier to leave them for a few hours with someone we all trust.

This means I have much more time to do things while I am with them. In fact I am beginning to study to be a childbirth educator and doula so that I can work my own, relatively flexible hours. This is something I can see doing while staying at home with them. I am also looking into working at a friend's bakery a few hours on weekends while dh is home. One year ago I couldn't have imagined this, I was so consumed with children.

If money is really a concern, start thinking now about things you might like to do later when you are more able.
 
#23 ·
We unschool. I don't like the term "child-led learning" becauase to a lot of people it implies that you wait for your child to express an interest, and then you build a unit around it. Blearg! My daughter (9) tells people she's an autodidact, that works.

She does have a pretty structured life right now. She's doing a show with a community theater group and was just cast in another one - rehearsals start tomorrow night. Add soccer, girl scouts, volunteering, voice lessons... I really love having stay-at-home days, but she's happy to go-go-go. Today she had performanaces at 11:15 and 2:15, and her girl scout troop came to see the 2:15 show and then they all went off on a camping trip tonight.

I don't see myself as a guide, really, since Rain is blazing her own path and I have no idea where it will lead. She's found some caring adults and older kids on the way, and that's been great, and we do talk a lot about everything... but she guides.

dar
 
#24 ·
sparrow-

My 3 kids are 7, 3 and almost 2. I guess I've never put myself into the school or teacher mode. To me unschooling is about kids learning what they want/need, when they want/need. I'm here to help out if they ask, but it's amazing to witness how they can learn things for themselves. My youngest does a lot of imitating his older siblings, talks incredibley, and draws, plays and listens to stories. His 3 yr. old ds plays dress up, listens to lots of fairy tales, and does a lot of artwork. My 7 yr. old does all that, plus he devours books constantly. He taught himself to read when he was 5. I guess once they can read it makes it seem more like they're "learning", but really they've been learning all the time. Anyway, my point is that unschooling to me isn't about schooling or teaching or guiding at all, it's just giving your kids room to grow and helping out if they ask for it.

Kelly
 
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