How to Teach 3.5 year old and I’ve already been stumped...merged - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-19-2005, 06:04 PM
 
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Not a big tv fan, but I love Mister Rogers, as he would take dc to the factory that *made* the golfballs. Or to the factory that *made* pencils. :LOL :LOL I remember a show recently where he took the dc to see how violins are made! So cool! He really took dc's ?'s seriously.

I miss that guy!!

mp
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Old 05-20-2005, 05:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a friend who gave rather involved answers to her kid questions. She basically talked to her and answered her as if she was speaking to an adult (aside from scary information). What are your thoughts on this?

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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Old 05-20-2005, 01:38 PM
 
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Once, ds asked why our cat couldn't go pick pumkins w/ us. I went into possibly losing him on the hayride, how we are his pride and he really only likes to be w/ us, other people trying to touch him, farm dogs, etc...

Finally ds says "Yeah, plus he doesn't have any hands."

I think keeping it simple and letting the kid ask the follow up questions is areally good route.
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Old 05-20-2005, 01:49 PM
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Yeah,that happened to me tonight...though I can't remember what the question was. Oh, and it happened the other day when dd stated, "I don't like the Kyrgyz!" My knee-jerk reaction was to think she was talking, again, about skin color since this is a major theme with her these days. So I was gearing up, again, for the whole we're all alike on the inside speech. But then she turned to papa and explained that it's because they don't speak English. Not exactly a question, but a situation that illustrates that children (or anyone, for that matter) are often on a completely different wavelength!

ICM -- I do think children should be talked to as any other adult. I think it's great for language development. I've noticed that monolingual children whose parents speak to them that way are much more eloquent pre-teens. I tend to answer these kinds of questions (yours) from my own experience (having a trilingual child who often needs simpler English).

However, I feel there are some answers that could disturb children. For instance, I think the answer about daddy putting his penis in mommy could be a rather disturbing image for a young child. But that's a view that stems from all the psychology I've studied.
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Old 05-20-2005, 02:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For instance, I think the answer about daddy putting his penis in mommy could be a rather disturbing image for a young child. But that's a view that stems from all the psychology I've studied.
Yea, DC and I got really far into the discussion about eating meat (we aren’t veg) and I the only thing I could do was just stop talking about it.

I remember knowing that the penis goes into the vagina but I didn’t understand sex until I actually saw sex, which is why I didn't tell DC that the penis goes in the vagina. I did just told her that the sperm comes from the man and the egg comes from the woman.

DC asked today what an angle is. The context was, “I can see right up your nose from this angle.” Because of this thread, I really tried to talk to her about it. It was fun and I think she “got” it.

I do get what you’re saying about keeping it simple at first and being aware of our own biases. I’ll keep that in mind for sure.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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Old 05-20-2005, 02:59 PM
 
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However, I feel there are some answers that could disturb children. For instance, I think the answer about daddy putting his penis in mommy could be a rather disturbing image for a young child. But that's a view that stems from all the psychology I've studied.
When my son was 3.5, this was a huge question for him. He was a very curious little guy who asked about everything under the sun, and wasn't satisfied with simple kid level answers, so I would say: "You grew in my tummy." He would say, "But isn't that where the food goes?" "Yes, you actually grew in a special part of my body called the uterus." "O.K. How did I get in there?" "Part of daddy and part of mommy came together in my uterus, and then you grew." "But how did the part of daddy get in there?" "Uh, he put it in there." "But how?" "A special way that grown ups know about." "What special way is that?" I would hem and haw. After a couple of weeks of this conversation, I said - Let's go to the book store, and buy a book about it, and we'll go through it together.

We went to the bookstore and got the book "A Child is Born" which has real, detailed pictures of the egg, the sperm, and the fetus growing at every stage of gestation. We poured over that book for days, and I did tell him how the sperm got into my vagina, etc. He was perfectly satisfied with that answer - and had not been satisfied prior to that, and would not drop the subject until he knew the real answer. Then, he went around and told everybody in very clear detail how babies are made :LOL . I mean neighbors, grandparents, doctors, the pharmacist - everybody! :LOL . Most were impressed that he was so articulate. . He is a scientist by nature - super curious - and it did not disturb him at all.

When his sister was 3.5 and he was 5.5, she started asking these same questions, and he went and got the book out, and I found them sitting on our bedroom floor pouring over the book, and he told her the whole process - acurately, and as well as or better than I could have. . She got the story satisfactorally, and never asked me about it again.

When my kids were 5.5 and 7.5, they were watching a documentary on wild animals, and saw animals mating. Ds asked about it, and I said that's how the female animal becomes pregnant (thinking he already knows all about it). And he said, "Oh, and how did you become pregnant?" And I said, "Oh, the same way. You remember that book....(etc.) don't you." His eyes grew so wide, and he said with not a little bit of disgust, "You and dad did THAT?!!!" "Well, yeah, that's how babies are made." :LOL

So, I learned from that that comfort levels about these things are different even in the same child at different ages. Now, he knows all about it, but doesn't ask anything about the process anymore. Dd has still never asked me anything about it, and I don't even know if she really knows or not. I figure she'll talk to me about it when she's ready - like she has done with everything else.

Laura

Mom to ds10, dd8
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Old 05-21-2005, 01:07 AM
 
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ICM-

Giving answers in detail is exactly what my dh does-every question!!

When my Mom came with us out of state to help with my last surgery, she said she thought how dh is so patient,answering in detail,and pointing out everything to dd, and that is why dd is so smart.

It's probably true. I can HS for 1/2 day, but dh can educate them more in one 1/2hour conversation!!

Hmmm..... :LOL

mp

p.s.-If I could have the time to share how ds is fascinated with my pubes! It's like he's paid such close attentiuon, that when I(them) are wet, he comes up close allwide eyed-asking what I did!!!! :
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Old 05-25-2005, 11:18 PM
 
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Ha! I love this topic! Maybe some of you can help me answer some of the questions my recently turned 3 year old asks.

Why can't you, daddy and ME all be married?

Are you sure "docile" is spelled with a C? I really think it should be spelled with and S.

Who was the very FIRST person to die? (We've been having a bit of a death obsession lately and I had to put the kaibosh on the grisly retelling of Cain and Abel that my dh was giving ds)

How is (insert every other word said to ds) spelled?

Why are some elephants dark grey, some are light grey and some are a brownish grey?

Why don't mommy Asian elephants have tusks but mommy African elephants DO have tusks?

Why do things fall DOWN when I drop them, why don't they fall UP? (This one was lots of fun, trying to explain gravity to a 3 year old )

Since right around 2.5 he's pretty much been nonstop quesions. I like to encourage his curiosity, but sometimes things get exhausted to the outer limits or there really is no explanation. When this happens I usually ask him Why he thinks something is, he surprises me sometimes with his use of logic to give a pretty good guess. Watching TV, reading and even listening to books on tape together can be tough because he asks NONSTOP questions.
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