Rant-o-rama (feel free to keep going) - Mothering Forums
Learning at Home and Beyond > Rant-o-rama (feel free to keep going)
lilyka's Avatar lilyka 12:24 AM 01-02-2002
We have been homeschooling dd since October. I was under the impresion my IL supported this decission and I was very proud of them as they are both teachers. Today I asked MIL if she would be intrested in doing a kindermusic class our homeschool group was doing. She said no based on the fact that it was a homeschool and then proceeded to grill me for the next half hour about why she thought I was bad for homeshcooling. It was all the standard arguments. What makes me think I am qualified to teach my children, I have never been to school, what about sociallization, it is good for them to learn to wait in line raise thier hands and sit still at thier desks (on what planet: besides nowdays kids have to be medicated to do these things.) and then, since it was rag on Sandra day she started in on vaccines. I didn't really get into it with her, there are people who have an openmind and are worth discussing it with and those who don't and aren't. She is of the latter variety so I just did the whole " I understand your concerns but I have done my homework and this is the decission I have made" My husband actually came to my defense. It was sorta new territory for us as she has never beratted me with both of us in the room (either to me without him or to him without me) It was nice to hear him speak up for me. usually he assumes (correctly) that I can hold my own and he prefers to sit back and watch me tear them to shreads but he knows I wouldn't disrespect his mom like that.

Anyway, we talked about it when I got home and he understood why I didn't say much. i feel secure in my parenting, educating, and healthcare decissions and have my husbands full support. Heck, has even decided he would never get another vaccine. i was shocked when he told me that. Anyway, Iwish I had her support. For some stupid reason it is important to me. it is sorta deflating to know for certain that she thinks I do EVERYTHING wrong. (the house isn't clean enough, I don't dress the kids warm enough, I don't vaccinate and my Dr. must be horrible if he goes along with it, and now homeschooling is depriving my child of everthing good. Ironically *all* of her moms great grand children, all seven of them, are being homeschooled. five of them have grand parents that are teachers in elementry school.

Well, thanks for letting me rant about this. I feel better now. Just needed to get that off my chest in a place where people care and agree with me.

And as for my MIL and Kinder music, we will just take our perfectly good homeschooling dollars and well behaved eager to learn children else where.

Edited because I wasn't finished whining yet

Leslie in MD's Avatar Leslie in MD 02:59 AM 01-02-2002
Lilyka, I feel for ya girl. We're in our 3rd year of homeschooling. When we told my husband's parents that we were thinking about hsing, they looked at us like we were crazy. I think they have both changed their tune now, however. Neither have said anything directly to me about hs per se, but my MIL has remarked on how smart my boys are and noticed how others compliment them. My point is that your MIL can come around to seeing the good in what you are doing. She should know that a teacher couldn't possibly give your kids the education that you can. The ratio of adult to child is too great! Anyway, take heart. You are the Mom and you are doing what you think is best. Your MIL may eat her words in the near future .

Leslie in MD, board moderator
hsmama's Avatar hsmama 10:36 PM 01-03-2002
Oh- I'm lovin' this- my IL admit our kids are incredibly bright,well adjusted ,have lots of friends and a great social life, but they still hold firm in their belief that it is WRONG to keep a child out of school.They also have a younger child still at home,one day they told us that if they died, she was to live with us, but we HAD to send her to school. I said, no, if that ever happened,she would be homeschooled. They said"well,we'll have to make other arrangements!"Now that's set in their ways-but at least we get along when we don't discuss this issue...
peacemama's Avatar peacemama 11:00 PM 01-03-2002

I wish people weren't so quick to attack things they know so little about. I also wish people could support the choices of their loved ones simply because they respect them and trust that they made those choices in the best interest of their family. I myself am not planning to homeschool, as there is no homeschooling community in my area and the public schools are supposedly excellent, but on the other hand I intend to be extremely involved and spend a lot of time enriching dd's education (she's only 3 now). And I will pull her out of school and homeschool her even without a community to support us if I feel the public school is doing her harm rather than good. I believe one can be an advocate for things one does not necessarily do oneself. A cousin of mine homeschools and she was the reason I decided to learn about it and I have nothing but respect and admiration for anyone who homeschools. People who think that homeschooling somehow deprives children of something essential that schools provide are simply ignorant of what homeschooling is, or unaware of what goes on in schools. Believe me, I am a public school teacher and I know how little learning takes place during the six or so hours kids spend in school (except in my classroom, of course ). I know this sounds cliched, but try not to let it get to you...
anythingelse's Avatar anythingelse 09:15 PM 01-05-2002

lilyka's Avatar lilyka 02:45 AM 01-07-2002
My husbands brothers wife (my SIL but not my MIL dd) who is quite feisty and never backs down from a challenge gave dh some good advise about making MIL stop arguing. Find a scripture or two that supports it and just say it is Biblical. SIl even gave us the nessecary verses for hoomeschooling. Shes great.

Thanks for all the support ladies. I guess it was just so shocking because she always seemed so supportive, or at least not apposed. :ately she has been making so many not so veiled comments about my house keeping, the way the kids are dressed, my cooking. and then the vaccines and homeschooling. This was just the last straw.