My crazy socialization poll - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Were you popular in school?
I was a popular kid 48 100.00%
I was a pretty unobtrusive kid 87 100.00%
I was the class punching bag 32 100.00%
Other ( please elaborate) 29 100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

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#31 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 02:41 AM
 
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I was a wall flower, known as the hippie slash cute nerd slash the only black girl until High School.... then I was unknown in a sea of all kinds. I homeschooled Soph. year came back my Jr. year in H.S. and I became "Miss Thang". I had a pt. time job, my own $$, anew sense of self and being feminine without being hoochie. I was in drama, science, BSU, the local radio station, AP classes and a crisis counselor...so it just made me available to all sorts, and most of the time we clicked.
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#32 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 06:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Itlbokay
I had no problems socially when I went to school, my reasons for wanting to homeschool have nothing to do with popularity.

I just want my children to have the best education they can, they do not receive that at our public school, I cannot afford private....so that leaves me with homeschooling.
That is me as well... I definitely fit in to the 'bright kid who wasn't challenged' mold too. Actually I think that is one of my biggest issues with the public school system and what I remind myself when I start to think that homeschooling will be too much work, etc... when I was teaching I had so many kids with so many different needs - there was no way to effectively meet all those needs at the same time so when I had to pick to spend the few minutes I had with the kids who were advanced vs. the kids who coudn't read - I had to give that time to the non-readers... leaving the advanced kids floundering on their own. I remember being that kid, waiting, bored, reading ahead and getting in trouble for it - I cannot let my kids be that kid.
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#33 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 10:09 AM
 
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Until jr high, was friends with the popular kids but never actually made it to popular status. Once I hit junior high, I was a misfit, but I had group of very wonderful and devoted misfits and unobtrusive kids who formed a tight little group of friends. I'm still very close to a few of them today.
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#34 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 10:38 AM
 
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Well I voted other because I was homeschooled all through middle school and high school. In my church and homeschooling group I was a strange mix of popular (lots of friends, involved in lots of things, outgoing etc) and shunned. I had a really bad reputation with some of the parents of other kids at church. Not all, but enough of the parents would tell their kids not to hang out with me because I was a "slut" . Sad really, because looking back I did some stuff that probably wasn't smart but all those years there I never smoked, did drugs, drank at parties, um partied, had sex. Nada. I had male friends and "went steady" which entailed hanging out at our respective homes with parents, hanging out at church and church functions and an occasional actual date as a got a little older. So I had a weird weird social standing.
I had a rough time especially with two sisters that were good friends of mine whos parents were some of the worst about me, and it would filter into their attitudes towards me as well. Happily though, the youngest dd and I have been best friends now for fifteen years, she moved down here to Texas a few years ago and we are like sisters. So it was worth it.

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#35 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 10:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TchrGrrl
That is me as well... I definitely fit in to the 'bright kid who wasn't challenged' mold too. [...] I remember being that kid, waiting, bored, reading ahead and getting in trouble for it - I cannot let my kids be that kid.
Same here. Coasting through school didn't do me any favors and my work ethic suffers to this day.
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#36 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 02:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
I wonder if a common denominator would be that we were all bright students who felt squashed by the school system.
I agree with that thought.
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#37 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 06:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
I wonder if a common denominator would be that we were all bright students who felt squashed by the school system.
This statement would fit me as well. I chose "popular" in the poll, and my husband was popular too. Both of my children used to go to school, and neither of them left because of "social" issues. My son left because the way schools made him learn drove him crazy, and my daughter left because she saw her brother's homeschooling life, and decided she wanted to homeschool too (she had chosen to continue going to school after her brother started homeschooling).

My husband was popular in school, and also had learning disabilities, and needed special services for reading and writing. He has no bad feelings from school at all, and in fact loved it. He was a bit apprehensive about homeschooling, but was willing to give it a try, and now he's a huge advocate for homeschooling. I enjoyed school until I hit junior high, and then began disliking it. I also dumbed myself down to fit into the popular crowd.

Interesting to me is that each of my kids homeschooling social lives mirror their social lives while they were in school. My son liked to have one or two really good friends, and then was generally liked by everyone else, invited to birthday parties, etc., but only on playdates with one or two. That still holds in our homeschooling circles - a couple of really good friends, and generally well liked by everyone. My daughter, OTOH, was very popular, tons of playdates, sleep overs, parties, etc. with lots kids, and that continues since homeschooling. She still has several good friends from school, and has made new friends in our homeschooling community.

I have noticed as my children have gotten older (dd9 and ds - 11 next Tuesday ), that the homeschooling children are more accepting of differences than the schooled children. Still, there are homeschooled children who are excluders, and schooled children who are includers, so I'm aware that I'm making generalizations, but there is a difference to me in the interactions between my kids with their homeschooled friends, and their interactions with their schooled friends. Less status consciousness, and with the boys, less emphasis on sports prowess as a determiner of friendship.

Laura
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#38 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 06:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by shaywyn
I was pretty popular, that doesn't mean that I didn't experience my share of public school humiliation, but really, I was pretty darn popular. Not the cheerleader who dated the football player, but quite the socialite. I don't think most people hs solely because of the horrible peer pressure/bully thing. That is just one of the many reasons on my list.

That about sums me up too,

Kim- Simple livin' mama to 4 great kiddos.
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#39 of 56 Old 09-08-2005, 07:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lckrause
Same here. Coasting through school didn't do me any favors and my work ethic suffers to this day.
I used this excuse with my mom today as to why my house is such a mess :LOL
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#40 of 56 Old 09-09-2005, 02:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
I wonder if a common denominator would be that we were all bright students who felt squashed by the school system.
Yeah, I think this hits the nail on the head for me.

I voted unobtrusive and class punching bag. The latter, k-3rd, then unobtrusive. I just want my daughter to be able to enjoy learning without all of the stigma that comes along with being bright and interested in education. In school, I made sure not to do too well or act too interested in the material. I saw how the "smart kids," my friends for the most part, were vilified and wanted none of that.

That having been said, social issues are huge for me. My dd sometimes encounters those invisible bullying behaviors from kids at gymnastics or out at the park, and while it hurts her a little it is mostly just baffling to her. She doesn't take it very personally, because it isn't her whole world. She says "We should invite (the child) to join (our homeschool co-op) so she can learn how to be a good friend."
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#41 of 56 Old 09-10-2005, 03:29 AM
 
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She says "We should invite (the child) to join (our homeschool co-op) so she can learn how to be a good friend."
What an awesome, and self confident response to a difficult situation

Laura
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#42 of 56 Old 09-10-2005, 03:42 AM
 
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Thanks. My kid rocks, I don't know where she gets it! I was a fearfully shy little thing, when I was her age.
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#43 of 56 Old 09-10-2005, 04:01 AM
 
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I chose "other" because it varied by school. I was an "army brat" and moved around alot. I wouldn't say I was popular, but I wasn't unobstrusive. I participated in alot of activities (girl scouts, math league), several sports (track, capt. of cross country team), got elected to student govt. in high school, was editor-in-chief of my college paper. I would characterize myself as excrutiatingly shy though, so the participation wasn't easy. I was always the new girl. I often ended up as the new girlfriend to someone who was somewhat popular at the school, so I got included in some of the activites of the popular kids.
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#44 of 56 Old 09-10-2005, 09:36 AM
 
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I'm not quoting AM again because her head will get to big but yes I agree with her too.

I was pretty popular in school but academically school bored me. I got really good grades up until high school even though I never really studied and rarely paid attention in class. By the time I hit high school I really hated the academic portion of school - I felt like I wasn't learning anything of value and I just wanted to be out in the world experiencing life. It felt like my days were so wasted between being in school all day and then doing homework at night (or at least I was *supposed* to be doing homework at night :LOL ).

I really think I would have excelled in a homeschooling or unschooling environment.

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#45 of 56 Old 09-10-2005, 11:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by HelloKitty
I'm not quoting AM again because her head will get to big but yes I agree with her too.

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#46 of 56 Old 09-10-2005, 03:30 PM
 
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You know, I kinda disagree with the theory, not because it wasn't logical and worth while, but because it doesn't take into account the diversity within homeschooling.

I really wasn't the most popular kid, but I had friends & boyfriends, was invited to and had many parties, yearbook staff, newspaper, music/drama stuff, and one year of drill team. The fact is, though, that the school environment that I was in 20+ years ago no longer exists.

I think it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone who homeschools is much like ourselves , but homeschooling is REALLY broad...much broader than most religious homeschoolers realize, for example.

I think that the one thing we all have in common is that we're wanting something for our kids that we don't think the schools can provide, and we're not afraid to go out and create it.

Just my two cents,

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#47 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 02:38 AM
 
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I voted class punching bag, boo hoo, which was true for some years. But I think I'd homeschool anyway. I have a real good friend who HS's her 3 kids & she was pretty popular- drum major in the band, high achiever, etc... she did really well in school & still knew it was not a place she'd want her kids to be.

Interesting thread!
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#48 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 03:48 AM
 
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I voted for all, because I was a bit of each at certain points. BUT, my school years have definately led me down the "not wanting to do that to my kids" way of thinking. I had some very awful years, but some good ones in the later years (fond memories, actually, *sigh*)
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#49 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 08:57 AM
 
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I haven't read every response, so I apologize if someone has already pointed this out, but I'm noticing a lot of folks using the concept of "cheerleader" as being equal to "popular". I was a cheerleader, but I voted unobtrusive. I was certainly not popular. I think being a cheerleader protected me somewhat from being openly ridiculed, but it only bought me grudging aquantaince status with the "in" crowd. Our squad was about evenly divided between the popular girls and those of us who were of average social standing but were very good cheerleadersn in the athletic sense -- loud voices, high jumpers, some gymnastic ability, etc. We all got along at practices and such, but during school we belonged to different social circles.

Just wanted to point out that stereotype -- like many stereotypes, it has some basis in truth (many cheerleaders are indeed popular), but it's not always true. And of course many popular girls are not cheerleaders.

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#50 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 09:05 AM
 
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everyone knew who I was so I wasn't one of the "invisibles"
however I never joined a clique and do not speak to anyone from school-on purpose. Most of those who I went to school with were flaky and superficial.
My fondest memory from school was where to get the drugs.

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#51 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 11:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv my 2 sweeties
Just wanted to point out that stereotype -- like many stereotypes, it has some basis in truth (many cheerleaders are indeed popular), but it's not always true. And of course many popular girls are not cheerleaders.

Good point.

I voted popular, but I wanted nothing to do with cheerleading in high school.

When I think of someone who was/is popular in school, it's not a cheerleader or football player I think of, it's the people who are friendly, polite and able to get along well with everyone. Like luv my 2 sweeties said, sometimes those people were cheerleaders, sometimes not.

I have never understood the social circle, or clique stuff that others speak of either. I never much paid attention or cared about that, then or now. I learned early on that those who try to create something negative like that are usually the ones with the least self confidence, excluding others makes them feel superior somehow. That's the type of behavior that it's best to ignore.
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#52 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 03:52 PM
 
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1-4, I didn't know what popular or unpolar was, then we moved...
5-6, I was an outcast, the new girl in the school and the girls hated me. The boys liked me, but I didn't like them.
7-8 I was fairly popular.
9-12 I had friends, but eschewed the popular crowd.
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#53 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all these responses.

wonder, you have a good point. I have tended to assume that because school was hell for me, and I homeschool, most other homeschoolers had bad school experiences too. But then , my dh was "unobtrusive", anmd also has very different reasons than I for homeschooling.
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#54 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 07:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
I wonder if a common denominator would be that we were all bright students who felt squashed by the school system.
That's definitely a major factor for my husband and me. School was so boring. We'd spend 6 weeks on a single book and hardly anything would be accomplished in that time... Ack, don't get me started!
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#55 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 07:51 PM
 
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I was a very popular student in both highschool and college. That said, my little brother got picked on constantly. My oldest son got called fat and it broke his heart for 2 weeks when he was just in 2nd grade. Some people think I shouldnt shelter my kids from getting *tough* from these kind of experiences but in all reality I dont want them to experience the world's nastiness until they *need* to know about it to protect themselves. We dont plan to homeschool forever...we are thinking back to public school when they hit high school. I just want my kids to develop self confidence and sense for who they are before being influenced one way or the other on who they need to be. Anyway, I seem to be rambling but hopefully you will understand what I mean.
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#56 of 56 Old 09-12-2005, 08:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
I wonder if a common denominator would be that we were all bright students who felt squashed by the school system.


I liked school and wasn't bright; had to truly work for my "c" average grades so once agian I'm left out :LOL
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