My crazy socialization poll - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: Were you popular in school?
I was a popular kid 48 100.00%
I was a pretty unobtrusive kid 87 100.00%
I was the class punching bag 32 100.00%
Other ( please elaborate) 29 100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

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Learning at Home and Beyond > My crazy socialization poll
warriorprincess's Avatar warriorprincess 09:31 PM 09-04-2005
Here's my theory: No matter what reasons we list for homeschooling, I suspect that deep down we are more likely to HS if we were unpopular kids. After all, someone who was popular would expect and want their kid to enjoy that, right? Whereas if he had our heads slammed in lockers on a regular basis the socialization arguments hold no water with us.

What do you think?

ChrisM's Avatar ChrisM 09:45 PM 09-04-2005
Sorry. I forgot to log my dh out.
shaywyn's Avatar shaywyn 09:46 PM 09-04-2005
I was pretty popular, that doesn't mean that I didn't experience my share of public school humiliation, but really, I was pretty darn popular. Not the cheerleader who dated the football player, but quite the socialite. I don't think most people hs solely because of the horrible peer pressure/bully thing. That is just one of the many reasons on my list.
geomom's Avatar geomom 09:50 PM 09-04-2005
Sorry again. I am Chrism's wife.

Anyway I voted other and popular. I was relatively popular, but not exactly cheerleading material. I didn't get invited to the really popular parties. But I was included by the super popular kids at school events. Everyone knew who I was and was willing to be seen talking with me.
Kylix's Avatar Kylix 09:52 PM 09-04-2005
I just voted "pretty unobstrusive" but it really depends on what grade you are asking me about. In elementary school, I was popular and well-liked. I had a lot of friends. Then I moved and started middle school...

After that, I was pretty invisible.

I don't think that only nonpopular people want to homeschool, though. After all, the reason I want to homeschool really has nothing to do with social reasons. It is more to do with providing the optimal education for my kids.

ekblad9's Avatar ekblad9 09:55 PM 09-04-2005
I was a popular, high grade point average, cheerleader, student council kid. I didn't care for school but never even dreamed of homeschooling or of being homeschooled. Dh wasn't popular or unpopular and he actually enjoyed his public school experience. My desire to homeschool goes so much further than the social issue, though that is a benefit.
Cenote's Avatar Cenote 10:00 PM 09-04-2005
I experienced the range because my family moved quite a bit (dad was either pastoring a church or teaching at a college). I went to 4 different high schools and I'd say that I was a nobody at a huge high school (stayed only 4 months) neither here nor there at another, pretty popular at another and one of the popular girls in the one I was at the longest and graduated from. And I won't even get into all the elementary schools I went to!!! :LOL

In retrospect (gosh it was a long time ago - my 25th year high school reunion will be 2006 ) I'd say because I went to so many different schools, I really got a chance to see how the social group works (or doesn't) in school settings. Those experiences really instilled in me a sense that it's sort of the luck of the draw for kids and it can really suck when luck doesn't fall on one's side. Also, I really just glided through public hs without having to work very hard at all - and got great grades, but once I got to college, I realized that I didn't know how to study and I didn't have any idea at all what I was interested in. It has taken years for me to figure out who I am (I'm still figuring).

But, in regards to this poll, I wasn't bullied in high school (but was some in elementary school). I'd say seeing how socialization in schools was so dysfunctional (especially for a sensitive kid), and the sense that I could provide a much better quality of education (i.e. more child led learning, intrinsic motivation, creativity and individuality honoroed and all the other great stuff hsing allows) were the main determining factors in hsing our son.

Monda's Avatar Monda 10:13 PM 09-04-2005
I was the middle ground kid. By the time I reached late high school I was fairly popular... but never felt that way. However, I was very popular in my church youth group and it was somewhat large. So it was dif in every situation.
umbrella's Avatar umbrella 10:47 PM 09-04-2005

I was popular, and I absolutely loved school. From kindergarten through senior year (and definitely college), I just loved school.

I don't choose homeshooling for my children because I think the alternatives bite; I choose homeschooling because it is a fantastic educational option, period.
UnschoolnMa's Avatar UnschoolnMa 11:18 PM 09-04-2005
I voted "other". I was not considered one of the popular kids, but that's not what I was ever going for anyway. I was, however, pretty well known among my "group" which consisted of the more loner-ish types, some stoners/drinkers, and one girl from a conservative Catholic family.

I had my share of bullying, and it sucked and I wouldn' want my kids to go through it. More than that though I wouldn't want my kids to go through it and not have any real good options about how to deal with it...and the schools around here (which are the same schools I attended as a kid) are famous for their apathy regarding harrasment and bullying. I feel that my kids should have the same tools available to them that I do for handling harrasment, and as unschoolers they have it. It's not our only reason for HS'ing but it factors in no question.
UUMom's Avatar UUMom 11:20 PM 09-04-2005
I was shy-ish, but had lots of friends. Not uber popluar, but not a scapecoat. i guess kind of unobtriusive. I just did my thing. I never liked school, however, except for my friends, sports and drama club. School interefered wth my reading.

I have kids who school and kids who hs. I am open to what is right for an individual child. I love hsing, though, as it offers a wonderful and intoxicating freedom. I think i would have appreciated this very much as a child. I hope never to send my hs kids to school again. I also hope my 11 yr old changes his mind and chooses to hs again next year.
Sarah's Avatar Sarah 11:42 PM 09-04-2005
I think I was more "famous" than popular... I certainly was not an under the radar wallflower type... but I also never wanted to be a cheerleader- I probably could have gone that way had I wanted- but I was always ruled by my own sense of self and morals- and not mob rules or popularity contests. I felt pretty comfortable setting my own scene and not giving a crud about this or that clique and their thing.

So anyway- I don't see my decision to homeschool as a way of protecting my kids from something I fear they might have to endure... rather I see that my social independance has been a lifelong trait that allows me to make my own decisions- including not putting my kids into an age segregated institution of just because the majority does or expects me to.

Love Sarah
GoodEats's Avatar GoodEats 01:39 AM 09-05-2005
I hung out with a very select, small group of friends. None of us would have been considered popular... but it seems like whenever I run into someone who remembers me from school, they always comment about how I wouldn't remember them because I was so popular. ?!?!

I was pretty much of the didn't-give-a-crap crowd - a couple lax players, a few theater nerds, some "stoners"... a pretty odd, philosophical group. Very "Breakfast Club".
Cenote's Avatar Cenote 02:08 AM 09-05-2005

I'm totally intrigued - care to elaborate on your "famous" status???

Stevie's Avatar Stevie 02:54 AM 09-05-2005
I voted unobtrusive, but I actually liked school a lot. My home life was one that needed escaping so school was fun for me. I am pretty sure that home is funner for my kids
Jade2561's Avatar Jade2561 03:19 AM 09-05-2005
Originally Posted by Cenote

I'm totally intrigued - care to elaborate on your "famous" status???

Ha!Ha! I was famous too. Everyone knows who you are/ knows everything about you even though you don't know them type of thing?
mollyeilis's Avatar mollyeilis 04:33 AM 09-05-2005
Never felt like I fit in, never understood what was going on around me. I read WAY early and watching and listening to others learn to read (out loud, oh the horrors) made me want to pull my hair out. I usually could do the work fast and early, and then had to sit on my hands waiting for everyone else to finish. That made me feel like a freak, so by 7th grade I'd dumbed myself down.

And then I found Drama and things sort of got better, but that's just another type of not fitting in, isn't it? Plus, the drama people were big drinkers and partiers, and I didn't fit in there, either.

I had lots of friends, but I always wished I had different friends, which is just sad IMO.
applejuice's Avatar applejuice 06:42 AM 09-06-2005
I do not know about your theory, but I just never fit in anywhere.

People knew me, knew my family, and I simply wanted to get out of there asap.

I was a good student, but I would have appreciated being informed of my options such as graduating early by taking the CHSPT which I found out about for my own one in the school told my children that either.

The counselors in school cannot let you graduate early because they make $$$ w/ the DAA from the state.
stafl's Avatar stafl 12:14 PM 09-06-2005
other. I have never fit into some category, especially not when it comes to me as a kid. I was most definitely not popular. I was the outcast that didn't even fit in with the other misfits. We moved around a lot in elem school and I was always the new kid, the wierd kid, the oddball. I usually had one or two friends, but not always, sometimes I had no friends at all. I got good grades without even trying, rarely did I ever bring homework home, but would do it while the teacher was explaining to the rest of the class how to do it, but the smart kids didn't much like me because I was too much of a rebel and maybe because they were putting forth much more effort into their schoolwork than I was. I hated school. I was a very angry child, probably because of chronic pain that never was diagnosed or even taken seriously until I was nearly 30 years old. I was most definitely not a punching bag, even though I was the smallest child in the class I would fight back and put a hurtin' on anyone tried to hurt me. I was that character in the Breakfast Club, you know, the girl they turned into a "normal" person, except they never were able to stifle my uniqueness, nor did anyone ever care to try it.

DH was popular. Not in the preppy, football jock sort of way (though his sisters were cheerleaders), but he's always had lots of friends. He liked school and had a happy childhood (two things that are totally foreign to me). The main reason we are homeschooling is because of how terrible our public schools are where we live.
Itlbokay's Avatar Itlbokay 12:16 PM 09-06-2005
I had no problems socially when I went to school, my reasons for wanting to homeschool have nothing to do with popularity.

I just want my children to have the best education they can, they do not receive that at our public school, I cannot afford that leaves me with homeschooling.
Ravin's Avatar Ravin 12:46 PM 09-06-2005
I put "punching bag", though as a girl most of it was passive-aggressive bullying, teasing, etc. Definitely an emotional punching bag at least!
AnnR33's Avatar AnnR33 02:52 PM 09-06-2005
I don't think deciding to hs has much to do with this issue for many IMO. I think it depends on what type of education is available in their area, their child's needs, family values and often religious convictions.

Now if someone would say-"well I bet you'd say that since you were popular" I don't think I was really but here's me:
I was popular thru jr high then a "small fish in a big pond" in high school most of the time. Though I had my moments of "being known" since I dated the football captain all thru school (sounds funny now) and was the basketball manager which was high profile sometimes since we had a really good team-this got me all types of privleges
I worked a lot outside of school though (had to pay for own college and many expenses since dad was laid off for yrs) and graduated early so that limited my opportunities to become popular I guess. Most of the time I was in the wings I'd say.
just my .02
onlyzombiecat's Avatar onlyzombiecat 02:19 AM 09-07-2005
I had a small group of friends who were also not popular.
I think the fact that I was very introverted and quiet in school I sometimes got forgotten or ignored. I think my dd being an introverted child does lead me to think she'll get a better educational experience being homeschooled.
It isn't so much bullying or socialization with peers but the thought that my dd might fall through the cracks if a teacher is busy with the rowdier or more outgoing (popular) students.
MrsMoe's Avatar MrsMoe 04:24 AM 09-07-2005
I wasn't Miss Popular but I wasn't a nerd either. I was liked by just about everyone, but hung out with a more rebellious (pot and ciggies and sneaking out and drinking) crowd vs the preppies.
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie 11:49 AM 09-07-2005
I was a theater and choir geek- I was popular in my own group.

I'm certainly not homeschooling based on my own social issues, though.
chalupamom's Avatar chalupamom 12:42 PM 09-07-2005
Count me as "other" - I wasn't popular in the sense that I went to parties every weekend or had a constant string of boyfriends or whatever but I had a lot of friends and was pretty active in both school-related and personal activities (Model UN, AFS, softball and a few other things, and I had a job). I didn't mind high school much - it wasn't some kind of hell that I was desparate to escape - but I don't desire to relive it, either, through reunions and such.

My school experience isn't really informing our homeschooling. In fact, I'd say it's a non-issue as far as homeschooling is concerned.
Mama22girls's Avatar Mama22girls 07:19 PM 09-07-2005
I was a popular person, valedictorian, varsity volleyball player, etc. : (and, yes, I still had my share of problems) I was a snobby person and I regret it now. I have turned 180 degrees. When I went to college I was on the dean's list, but I was no longer snobby. I found my granola-ish friends and meshed completely. Then I met DH! He wouldn't have dated me before and I wouldn't have dated him. We are great together now that I have my mother out of my head! :LOL

I hated school and the way learning was approached. DD's would have floundered. I see me in them and I realize that the best thing for them is me. We are very hands-on, visual learners, so that is what we do. We have a lot of fun as well! I 'teach' in several different ways, so our DD's remember things to a greater extent.
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie 07:30 PM 09-07-2005
I wonder if a common denominator would be that we were all bright students who felt squashed by the school system.
Sasha_girl's Avatar Sasha_girl 02:25 AM 09-08-2005
I voted popular, although I wasn't the cheerleader type. I was well-known and well liked, however, as I wrote for the town newspaper and did a lot of poetry readings and stuff. I was an arty kid at a school that wasn't totally against arty people, so I didn't have a tough time.
Sasha_girl's Avatar Sasha_girl 02:26 AM 09-08-2005
Originally Posted by annettemarie
I wonder if a common denominator would be that we were all bright students who felt squashed by the school system.
Exactly! I really think that I would have flourished in a homeschooling environment.
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