Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Manitoba, Canada
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Hi Mamacrab. When I took ds (then 8, now almost 10) out of school, it was after years of reading and preparation, and a horrific ps experience, and I still felt guilty and depressed about it, something that came as a total shock to me. I had assumed that finally making the hsing decision would be wonderful relief.
It took me about 2 months to work through my feelings, but I finally figured out that I had to, in a way, mourn for and give up the life I thought we would live, that ds would go to school, I would have my seperate life, and we'd live the same way as pretty well everyone else that I knew at the time. I also realized, after a few months, that, despite having worked closely with the ps for 2 years, I felt that I had failed, that I hadn't tried hard enough to "make" my son succeed at school, that I would look like a failure to other parents (some acquaintances assumed that I took my son out of school because he was anti-social or academically behind, and I heard some pretty rude comments about it, didn't help my mood at the time, needless to say, lol.) And I felt guilty that I had somehow "damaged" my son, that I hadn't been a good enough parent, and that was why he couldn't handle school, when all the other kids had no problems (at least in my imagination, lol.) It helped a lot to get online, talk with other parents who had been in similar situations (ds has Tourette Syndrome, something ps systems all over don't handle well,) and also to talk with other parents from ds's old class, and found that most of the other kids had problems with the school, either socially or academically, that my son wasn't a "failure."
I have to applaud you for listening to your daughter's choices, too. She may not have a concrete reason for disliking school, but that seems to me like she knows that she doesn't like it, and just can't articulate her feelings any more accurately yet.