Common Misconceptions about Homeschooling - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 107 Old 01-11-2006, 02:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by busybusymomma
The last year I was in PS, a big fat boy (probably three times my petite size) literally picked me up and body slammed me on the playground.
From my local news:
Quote:
...According to the police report an 8th grade boy told a girl to go into the boys bathroom. When she didn't, he grabbed her by the arm and attempted to pull her in. The report then says a fire drill interrupted what was going on and forced everyone outside. After the drill, the victim told police she went back to the bathroom to get her coat and books. That's where the boy was waiting for her. The girl says he locked her in a stall, and assaulted her.

The victim also reports someone else was outside the stall saying come on, do it...while he was trying to look in and pounding on the stall...

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#62 of 107 Old 01-11-2006, 05:28 AM
 
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I hear :
* They need to learn to stand up for themselves and if Mommy is always there to save them they'll end up being sissies.

to which I said :
Or maybe they'll see they are always protected by someone who loves them and they won't feel like they've been thrown to the wolves everyday.

* How will they meet people ?

I say :
How did I just meet you ? Were we in a classroom ?

* They need friends their own age.

I say "Were you born within nine months of me ? Because if you weren't I'm not allowed to talk to you. "

* They have got to learn to live in the real world. Things need to be done on a timed schedule.

My dad says this one a lot. Last time I said "And what did you do today in your real world Daddy ? Did you wake up at 6am to catch the bus at 6:30am like my nine year old neighbor did ? Did you sit in the cafeteria for breakfast and eat only what they gave you ? Did you sit in a classroom full of people your own age for seven hours? Then did you come home and spend the next two hours with your face in a book doing homework ?
OR did you wake up leisurely , eat your own breakfast , and go about your own agenda for the day ? "

He hasn't told me that statement about "needing to live in the real world" since then. Which is a shame , I have some more silly comparisons to make.

My grandmother says
* the kids are going to think learning is fun and games all the time. they need to know learning is serious.

I rolled my eyes. And said " oh yes. I agree. We never laugh during school time. Only during breaks , lunch and recess. Fun has to be scheduled. It cannot be spontaneous. Can you hear them giggling outside right now ? I better stop them. Fun isn't scheduled until tonight. " Thankfully she saw her idiotic words for what they were.
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#63 of 107 Old 01-11-2006, 08:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by UlrikeDG
That poor girl. And to think there was someone encouraging him from outside the stall- it's bad enough to be assaulted, but to have someone present who should be helping you.
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#64 of 107 Old 01-12-2006, 09:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UlrikeDG
That is so sad. And what does that mean, he's "recommending" that he get expelled. How about arrested and thrown in jail : I feel so bad for that girl.

Mama to two boys and a girl.
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#65 of 107 Old 01-12-2006, 11:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UlrikeDG
nak

i was similarly assaulted in 8th grade by 2 boys in my class -- they shoved me behind one of those big science lab tanles in homeroom. other kids were right there; those boys continued to verbally harass and intimidate me til the day i graduated high school. in a "great" public school district. noone cared, the teacher and principals looked the other way because one of the boys was a soccer star. i never told my parents. i got quite an 'education.'

my kids will never set foot in a public school.

 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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#66 of 107 Old 01-13-2006, 02:52 AM
 
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Originally Posted by muttix2
That is so sad. And what does that mean, he's "recommending" that he get expelled. How about arrested and thrown in jail : I feel so bad for that girl.
According to the Des Moines Register site, he was charged with third-degree sexual abuse. I don't know for sure how it works, but it may be that expulsions have to be issued by the board, and all the principal can do is make a recommendation to them.

What really got me was the principal's assertion that the "published schedule of hall monitoring" was sufficient. Obviously not!

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#67 of 107 Old 01-13-2006, 11:34 AM
 
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Just to add my newly joined pennyworth on this one -

1. I am 'over-protective'. (am I not *supposed* to want to protect my child then?!)

2. You won't be able to teach a 'broad' curriculum, only the subjects you are good at yourself - he will be forced to follow your interests not his own.( ) (who mentioned 'curriculum' and/or 'teaching'? Not me!! One of my main reasons for HSing is so he can be autonomous and follow his own lead!!)

3. He *can't* teach himself from books - (and how exactly do 'school teachers' manage? I know from experience, teaching English Literature where curriculums and set texts change regularly, that quite often they are only a step ahead themselves, using some of the same texts which are readily available to the students themselves!! )

4. There so much more to school than good grades. (like that's all I'm interested in - and much of the 'more to life' is a good reason for HSing!)

5. "But he **has** to go to school!!" (MIL - I'm so glad I don't inhabit the same box she does!! )

6. And I'll finish off with the old favourite, the 'S' word. (People tend to seem less self-assured/opinionated when I counter a question about this by asking: " Now, do you mean 'socialisation' or 'socialising'? Lots of people seem to get mixed up over these two words and they're very different things you know." )
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#68 of 107 Old 01-13-2006, 03:07 PM
 
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I debated recently with a nurse practioner who told me that most homeschooling parents she sees (which is, of course, representative of the hs community--and hers is an, I'm sure, unbiased opinion) do it for themselves. Their children are just along for the ride, unwilling and pining away for a life of "normalcy". The mothers' identity is so wrapped up in homeschooling she can't even see that the kids are miserable.

She also conjects that the doctors she works with "hate' homeschooled kids because they are rude, uncontrollable, and behind their public schooled peers.

It was about the stupidest thing I've ever encountered, but I'm really not a fan of the medical establishment and their ideas of "normalcy" right now.

Homesteading Mama to homeschoolin' kiddos London (10) ; Alexander (8) :; Holden (5) :; and Sergei born at home 8/18/08
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#69 of 107 Old 01-13-2006, 07:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sasha_girl
I'm really not a fan of the medical establishment and their ideas of "normalcy" right now.
Hey, I'm right there with you on that aswell!! :
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#70 of 107 Old 01-13-2006, 09:14 PM
 
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//
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#71 of 107 Old 01-13-2006, 11:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sasha_girl
She also conjects that the doctors she works with "hate' homeschooled kids because they are rude, uncontrollable, and behind their public schooled peers.
: Maybe I'm a bit naive because my kids are so young, but every doctor that they've encountered has not only been impressed with how far ahead they are but with how polite and cooperative they are. The family doctor that I'm seeing for my prenatal care even said that home educating them makes more sense than anything else.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#72 of 107 Old 04-19-2006, 07:47 PM
 
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When I was being Homeschooled (I'm 34 now) the big questions my parents always got were "What about the prom???" and "What about Bunsen Burners?"

I wish I could say that times have changed but now that I am Homeschooling my own children, in a pretty forward thinking city I might add, I am sad to say that I have been asked equally as rediculous questions.

Peace,

Verushka
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#73 of 107 Old 04-19-2006, 08:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RainCityMama
When I was being Homeschooled (I'm 34 now) the big questions my parents always got were "What about the prom???" and "What about Bunsen Burners?"
WHAT ABOUT BUNSEN BURNERS??? What in the world is that a reference to? The joys of chemistry class??? This is one I've never heard! - Lillian
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#74 of 107 Old 04-19-2006, 11:26 PM
 
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Yeah, as if a bunsen burner was all that expensive!

I figure my DD will learn more about chemistry from doing model rocketry with my stepdad than she would in school (he mixes his own fuel and everything).

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#75 of 107 Old 04-19-2006, 11:53 PM
 
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I think Bunsen burners and the prom are like some kind of symbol as to what the Highschool experience is or *was* for certian people.. Who knows, all I can add is that I actually *DID* go to the prom, and I found it lame

Peace,

Verushka
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#76 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 12:25 AM
 
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I get the "oh I could never homeschool, I'm not patient enough, or organized" ALL THE TIME. I laugh. Neither am I!
I had one lady tell me that unless you never yelled at your kids, ever, you shouldn't homeschool, because at school they don't get yelled at!
I once wrote a blog entry about the facade of homeschooling. People think we must be perfect, which causes an issue for us...who can we complain to? OK, that's going a whole nother direction!!
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#77 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 01:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by RainCityMama
I think Bunsen burners and the prom are like some kind of symbol as to what the Highschool experience is or *was* for certian people.. Who knows, all I can add is that I actually *DID* go to the prom, and I found it lame
Well, I must say that a good frined of mine was amazed when her son decided to take an opportunity to get out of high school two years early and go to the community college instead - she actually asked him, in astonishment, "But what about the prom?! You don't want to miss the prom, do you?" Funny thing is that he's the last person who'd ever be interested in going to a prom, but that never entered her mind. She's actually a pretty normal person other than that. - Lillian
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#78 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 05:39 AM
 
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The one that makes me the angriest is "You homeschool? What's wrong with your kids?" Like the only reason that someone would homeschool is because their child is inherintly flawed and not allowed in the public school system. My oldest son actually *does* have some special needs and it hurts his feelings when people pigeonhole him like that. We homeschool because it is the best for him, for our other children, for us as a family. People also say "But you ARE sending your *normal* kids to public school, right?" Ugh.

I'm most often met with the misconception that home education must take place during certain hours and last a certain amount of time. One of my co-workers asked me when I homeschool. My answer was "All of the time". She was terribly confused by that and kept asking "No, I mean, what time? When do you do it? How long does it take?" I tried valiantly to explain what unschooling is and it was completely lost on her. She just kept insisting that it must be done during certain hours and how can we possibly not know how long a lesson takes? This seems to be the common view in our area.

Ah, the dreaded S word. My children are all very social and outgoing. They talk to everyone {sometimes a bit too much!}, everywhere, about everything. Yet everyone always asks how the kids socialise. Erm, they socialise like we do, and they're better at it than I am.

Another one ~ what do you do with the younger kids while you're teaching the oldest?

Oh, I stash them in a closet! They each have their own tidy little hanger. I just tuck it through the collar of their shirt and they're good for a solid 90 minute block.

Really, what do they *think* I do with the younger kids? They learn right alongside their big brother! They are being homeschooled just as much as he is, even if they aren't officially under the age of compulsory attendance.
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#79 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 08:27 AM
 
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"Um...are you sure we really want to take him out of that school? I mean...do you realize what they're teaching them? In 1st grade! He was just in there explaining theory of atomic structure to me!"
that's good stuff
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#80 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 08:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Sasha_girl
I debated recently with a nurse practioner who told me that most homeschooling parents she sees (which is, of course, representative of the hs community--and hers is an, I'm sure, unbiased opinion) do it for themselves. Their children are just along for the ride, unwilling and pining away for a life of "normalcy". The mothers' identity is so wrapped up in homeschooling she can't even see that the kids are miserable.

She also conjects that the doctors she works with "hate' homeschooled kids because they are rude, uncontrollable, and behind their public schooled peers.

It was about the stupidest thing I've ever encountered, but I'm really not a fan of the medical establishment and their ideas of "normalcy" right now.


I started reading this post, and then thought, "How bizarre! I was in a VERY similar debate...with a nurse practitioner even!" Then I saw your name and it hit me: Oh. I was in THAT debate! With Sasha
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#81 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 10:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ekblad8
I get this one all the time!
me too, especially now with a toddler and baby coming. It annoys the heck out of me, because it feels like their way of justifying their choice not to do it. I'm sure that's not it, but I just get sick of it. In particular, because lately I wish I WERE a saint! It would be much easier to deal with hsing with a toddler in the house: not easy.
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#82 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 10:25 AM
 
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I find it weird that I'm 18 weeks pregnant and already school has come up, oh, when they go to school... Okay. Whatever. I just say 'my kids ain't goin to school' To me homeschooling is normal, just like homebirthing, breastfeeding, etc. Just because it's uncommon in this society doesn't mean it's not normal

I've gotten the 'well, you'll know they're on track becaue they have to take the standerdized tests every 3 months' or something like that. Or 'they' will make sure your kids are learning. Not sure who 'they' are, but I'm not going to let the government breathe down my neck about it! NO, my kids are not taking no stinkin test every 3 months! Anyway, in PS I took those tests, and I made nice little patterns with the multiple choice cards. Didn't reflect what I knew at all, just that I was bored out of my mind.

The socalization, um, well, I don't think that school with 30 kids their own age is an accurate representation of what life is (as has already been said).

Then in the same conversation they'll complain about the bullies in their kids classes, the teacher who has favorites, how they're teaching evoluation or not teaching evolution, that class sizes are over 30 kids per teacher, or that their kid still hasn't learned to read and she's in the 8th grade. Um, I don't have any answers or really any sympothy...
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#83 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 06:40 PM
 
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Forgive me for jumping in late, but I get the most grief from a friend of DH's that claims my son will not be smart, not be socilaized and not be 'normal' this comes from the same man who cannot spell OF (he spells it ov) or read a short news article and quote back the main points. He doesn't know how to balance his checkbook, needs a calculator to do simple math, is unable to count back change without a computer adding it for him and cannot halve or multiply simple recipies (He called me, "My mom gave me a recipe for *something* but it says it is for 5 people, I want to make it for 10, how many cups of flour do I use?) And he was Public schooled, graduated in the bottom half of his class, but still graduated without basic life skills. Thats one of the main reasons I'm choosing to homeschool...

Re the standardized tests, my junior year we had to take the Iowa Tests for Educational Development (ITEDs). My class, as a whole, did SO poorly the STATE made us retake them. Only 4 people in my class of 172 students got above a 9th grade level on average. Does that mean we were all stupid? Nope. It just means we made pictures and didn't bother even trying. On the first test I was in the 17 percentile, and 98 percentile on the 2nd test...we were threatened with not graduating if we didn't 'put forth our best efforts' on the retest.

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#84 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 07:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JamesMama
...this comes from the same man who...
Well - I guess you just need to consider the source. He obviously isn't any better at assessing educational alternatives or being diplomatic than he is at any of the rest of that stuff

- Lillian
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#85 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 07:04 PM
 
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It's weird, the people I have encountered who have felt the strongest that a child NEEDS formal schooling are the people who use what they learned in school the least. Like my brother, who is a surfboard shaper and a boat captain. Or my other brother, who is a horticulture student and vineyard manager. Or my friend who has his own landscaping business. But my parents, who both have college degrees (my dad is a lawyer) and various friends who are teachers think homeschooling is an excellent idea.

And another weird thing is that when I have asked why they think formalized schooling is important, they say that if they were allowed to learn what they wanted, they never would have learned things that everyone HAS to learn, like Geometry and Algebra. I don't see what's wrong with not learning stuff you don't need and are not interested in.
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#86 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 08:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by umbrella


I started reading this post, and then thought, "How bizarre! I was in a VERY similar debate...with a nurse practitioner even!" Then I saw your name and it hit me: Oh. I was in THAT debate! With Sasha
I did the same thing! My thought was wow, has she been talking to the same people I have? And then I realised YES, she has!
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#87 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 08:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by papayapetunia
It's weird, the people I have encountered who have felt the strongest that a child NEEDS formal schooling are the people who use what they learned in school the least.
Come to think of it, the old friend who was so concerned that our son wouldn't learn how to deal with bullies has been known to get himself sucked into fist fights at sport stadiums even in his 30s ! But my now grown son has never been in a fight of any kind! - Lillian
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#88 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 11:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jessielove
I did the same thing! My thought was wow, has she been talking to the same people I have? And then I realised YES, she has!
I know that of which you speak as well. I recall it being said that the homeschooled children asked too many questions and did not revere the teacher (in a workshop situation) as an expert. I thought that it would be great for kids to show knowledge and ask lots of questions rather than staring blankly and tuning out. I mean, I would dislike the know-it-all factor, that one kid that disagrees with everything you say, but I've seen plenty of that in public schooled kids as well. I think it's a combination of personality and what is modeled in the home. I don't think children should revere adults as experts, but there is a respectful way to present counter information (many adults need to learn this too!). I would never expect my children to revere someone as an authority figure just b/c of age. I love it when "experts" talk to my kids like real people. You give respect and you get it back. Also, no adult should think so highly of himself as to get threatened by a child asking questions or sharing knowlege. So, there's another hs misconception. Homeschooled children are clearly learning too much and showing too much enthusiasm instead of giving the leader that easy "out" by silently tuning out and going through the motions.
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#89 of 107 Old 04-20-2006, 11:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jen123
I hear :
* They need to learn to stand up for themselves and if Mommy is always there to save them they'll end up being sissies.

to which I said :
Or maybe they'll see they are always protected by someone who loves them and they won't feel like they've been thrown to the wolves everyday.

* How will they meet people ?

I say :
How did I just meet you ? Were we in a classroom ?

* They need friends their own age.

I say "Were you born within nine months of me ? Because if you weren't I'm not allowed to talk to you. "

* They have got to learn to live in the real world. Things need to be done on a timed schedule.

My dad says this one a lot. Last time I said "And what did you do today in your real world Daddy ? Did you wake up at 6am to catch the bus at 6:30am like my nine year old neighbor did ? Did you sit in the cafeteria for breakfast and eat only what they gave you ? Did you sit in a classroom full of people your own age for seven hours? Then did you come home and spend the next two hours with your face in a book doing homework ?
OR did you wake up leisurely , eat your own breakfast , and go about your own agenda for the day ? "

He hasn't told me that statement about "needing to live in the real world" since then. Which is a shame , I have some more silly comparisons to make.

My grandmother says
* the kids are going to think learning is fun and games all the time. they need to know learning is serious.

I rolled my eyes. And said " oh yes. I agree. We never laugh during school time. Only during breaks , lunch and recess. Fun has to be scheduled. It cannot be spontaneous. Can you hear them giggling outside right now ? I better stop them. Fun isn't scheduled until tonight. " Thankfully she saw her idiotic words for what they were.
I'm going to memorize some of your comebacks here. Thanks!
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#90 of 107 Old 04-21-2006, 12:13 AM
 
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Here's one that I *don't* hear, but would have a hard time refuting if I did: "Homeschoolers don't know how to 'line up'."

My kids have been involved in a couple of activities or events with other homeschoolers which were coordinated by adults used to working with school groups. The homeschoolers form the most rag-tag lines you ever saw. One lady was apparently not satisfied with our line and kept saying "single file! single file!" Since our group was mostly 5 - 8 year olds who had never been to school, they were a bit perplexed by that command!

Stephanie mom to Brianna (6/00) , Alexander (6/02) , and Ethan (9/07) .
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