pulling kids out of public school to homeschool? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 01-12-2002, 10:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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: hi all, i have 2 daughters who go to our public school. we live in a university town, and our school is pretty enlightened and "Good" as public schools go... however, my 2 little sweeties both indicate that they don't really like it, and for individual reasons, i know they would probably do better at home. has anyone out there had the experience of pulling your child (ren) out of a school to homeschool them, and what challenges did you face? did you notice a big improvement? i am not worried about them academically, as they are doing fine there, it is more their happiness, and zest for life/learning that is in jeopardy at the school. thanks!
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#2 of 22 Old 01-14-2002, 02:50 PM
 
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Hi,
dd wasn't quite in public school, but I did pull her out of preschool. The big thing she misses is having that time with lots of kids every day, so we have to make a real effort to make sure she has plenty of opportunities for that. However, she complained that preschool was boooring and she is definately enjoying homeschooling more. It sounds as though your children are quite ready and might not need too much transition time. Don't be surprised, though, if they balk at the last minute - if the reality of not going to school any more seems a little scary. Our first week of hs was a little rough because dd was missing her friends and I was unsure whether I could really handle it and whether I had made the right decision. It only took a few weeks, though, for us to come up with a routine that gave her time with friends and also time to do "school" (and also private time for ME).

I applaud maintaining zest for learning as a reason for withdrawing from school, by the way. That's pretty much my greatest concern as well.

good luck!
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#3 of 22 Old 01-14-2002, 06:12 PM
 
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hippiemom,

If you tell me what state you are in; I can refer you to more specific information. If you prefer not to divulge your location..

Here is a site that has a whole bunch of info:

A TO Z HOME'S COOL HOMESCHOOLING HOME PAGE
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#4 of 22 Old 01-14-2002, 10:53 PM
 
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I pulled my 9 y.o. and 6 y.o. out of public school last year. It was a great decision. Both are much happier, the stress is gone, they are enjoying their lives and activities and we are enjoying each other. The improvement in their lives is unbelievable. The only "challenges" we faced were: our local district was uninformed about the laws in our state and gave me a hard time initially, and...I had to redefine what I thought "education" and "learning" were. It's been a wonderful year for us--if you have any other questions, ask away.

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#5 of 22 Old 01-14-2002, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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joan, our situations sound similar... can you elaborate as to whay you took them out of school?
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#6 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 09:31 AM
 
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In a nutshell: I have one child who was "ahead" in some subjects and "behind" in others, according to the school's schedule. To "fix" this (the school saw this as a problem, I didn't--which was the first problem) the school wanted to give him extra help (read: push him) in some areas. In order to do this, they would remove him from the classes he enjoyed best. It didn't seem like a plan to me. My other child was not in the least challenged and nothing could be done about that. She began to get into trouble because she was bored, voiced her opinion and rebeled against the many rules which she felt were arbitrary or "babyish." Both had trouble with bullies both in the class and on the playground. Both had their creativity stifled. Both were getting an "education" in areas of violence and other news events in a way that I did not feel they were ready for. They hated school, had lost all enthusiasm for learning. I can't believe we let it get to that point, but thankfully, we woke up in time to stop it.

Hope this helps.

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#7 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 07:35 PM
 
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Hippiemom, wow, if you can do it and your girls want to stay home, let them do it! You can always send them back. If they want to be home, enjoy them. You can also let them help in picking out their curriculums. I think you are going to have a great time having your girls at home!
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#8 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 08:12 PM
 
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I pulled my 9 yo out of public school this year. It was a decision we came to as a family and is the best decision I've made in my parenting career. I missed him so much! He was gone from 8-4 everyday, then homework, then playing with his friends/afterschool activities. He was bored in school a lot of the time. We've made a huge effort to join other homeschooling groups and meet kids his age. My 5yo is still in pre school but when my 3 1/2 yo said (after two months of pre school) that he didn't want to go anymore, he never went back. I love homeschooling and plan to do it with each of my children. It has brought our family back together again!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#9 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i am loving these stories! it is very encouraging, thanks! i like the idea of bringing the family closer. it is hard sometimes not to see school as daycare and get into the trap of wanting to accomplish things w/o kids.... i think if we homeschooled we would work better as a family. any thoughts out there about how school contributes to bad attitude and sibling rivalry? i have seen that quite dramatically this year.
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#10 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 08:59 PM
 
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It is so hard to not view school as a day care! When my dh and I started discussing homeschooling he was very anti! I felt that it was the next logical step. We AP, nurse, hardly ever go out anywhere yet when our kids were 5 we were willing to hand them over to strangers all day! I just didn't feel comfortable with that.

As far as homeschooling bringing siblings closer, it absolutely did for us! My son stopped viewing the little ones as aquaintances and started really being in tune to their needs and wants. He started enjoying his time with them. And they feel very close to him too. I'm not saying that we don't have our days when they fight constantly but for the most part (99%) it's a great thing! They work together to complete things. If Brandon (the oldest) has to put dishes away and the littler ones are waiting to play a game or something with him, they help him. They walk the dog together. He reads to them if they are starting to get wild. It really has changed the dynamic of our household!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#11 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 09:03 PM
 
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"any thoughts out there about how school contributes to bad attitude and sibling rivalry?"


ABSOLUTELY! Our family life is so much better now--the children play with each other, talk with each other, LIKE each other...not that they don't also tease each other, because they do, but it's silly/playing stuff.

I think the contribution that school made to their bad relationship was that they were apart for so many hours during the day that they weren't really getting to know each other. When they were at home, I think the competition for mom's attention was very great, since they hadn't seen me all day either. It was turning them into foes. Also, by the time they got to see each other, at the end of the day, they were stressed, tired and lacking the energy to be kind/gracious to each other. Aside from the improvement in the relationship between my two "school-aged" children, I am thrilled that their baby brother will know them. If they had continued in school, he would have grown up a stranger to them.

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#12 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 09:11 PM
 
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I second everything that Joan said! Very wise words!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#13 of 22 Old 01-15-2002, 11:51 PM
 
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I also feel society (aka the kids on the playground) send a very clear message that little brothers and sisters are pest, annoying and nosey and that big brothers and sisters are out to get you, think your dirt, and cosider making your life misreable a sport. It isn't long befor kids start effortlessly slipping onto these roles. When they are home they don't hear this message so much and since they have to spend so m uch time with a brother or sister, they are more motivated to get along. They are also more likely to see good qualities in thier siblings because they are just simply more likely to see thier siblings.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#14 of 22 Old 01-16-2002, 12:09 AM
 
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Excellent point! I have noticed over the years that my relationship with dd1 improves when we spend MORE time together, not less. This was most noteable when I decided to quit my job and pull her out of part-time daycare (she was there from 22 months to 39 months). I also saw, contrary to conventional "wisdom", that her social skills declined in daycare and improved when I removed her. I totally see school as daycare!

I am sure the better relationship with greater contact goes for siblings as well. If I weren't homeschooling, dd1 and 2 would barely know each other (they are 5 years apart). I'm very excited to see how their relationship develops as the baby grows older!

(all right, so I'm digressing from the original post)
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#15 of 22 Old 01-16-2002, 12:10 AM
 
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We've never done the school thing, but I love seeing the way the older and younger kids relate at the homeschooling group. Because there are kids of ALL ages, from babies to teenagers, both my kids get to the the "little kid" and the "big kid." I think my kids are learning that big kids are cool and can show you interesting things and give you a glimps into a larger world. At the same time, they are staying in touch with little people just learning to walk.

Sometimes my kids spend so much time together that they get sick of each other. We recently moved from the country to city and they now have more outside activities and other kids to play with, and they seem to be enjoying each other more.
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#16 of 22 Old 01-22-2004, 10:28 PM
 
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Pulling kids out of school:

This has been so enlightening...even though this discussion
is quite old.

I had my son in school for one semester, and pulled him out for all of the reasons above. He wasn't doing good in Math, and they put him in a lower grade instead of getting him some extra help. Meanwhile, his behaviour was very bad, he hated walking in lines, sitting all day, and rarely going outside. He refused to learn, and I couldn't blame him. He was also teased often and to me, this social interaction that people always talk about when pulling a child out of school, has NO value. Social interaction with family, neighbors, people at the grocery or co-op, in my opinion are far more valuable in their interactions.

I am homeschooling...or rather unschooling. I don't like either word. I like to say that my child is home where he belongs, and he is doing things at and around our home that will help him grow to be a very nice young man.

Moon Light Mama
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#17 of 22 Old 01-22-2004, 11:13 PM
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I haven't done this since we have always homeschooled. I just want to give you a big dose of encouragement and say enjoy your children all you can. They will be adults before you know it. Good luck and let us know how you're doing or let us know if you need any encouragement.
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#18 of 22 Old 01-22-2004, 11:42 PM
 
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Laura---

from Kay over in Activism.

Looks like we agree 100% on this topic!

Kay

 

 

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#19 of 22 Old 01-23-2004, 01:58 AM
 
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I left ps in the 3rd grade to be hs for only one year. I guess I couldn't talk my mom into hs me for longer!
Now that I have my own kids dh and I plan to hs for the long haul. Everyone here shares the same reasoning.
Especially if your kids are asking for HS listen to them. Kids know whats good for them too.
If you are wondering where to start- this is a good place!
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#20 of 22 Old 01-23-2004, 03:25 AM
 
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I pulled my son out. We had wanted to homeschool but situation did not allow us for K. We don’t know why we sent him to first. He only went a month. His personality changed so much. He hated going. Dh decided we would pull him out after a party they were having. It was something he was excited about. He was aware of our decision. He one morning woke up and asked if we could start homeschooling him that day. I told him sure but made him aware he would not get that party. He was more than fine with that.

I went to school that afternoon, cleared out his desk, and gave them our letter stating we were homeschooling.

It did bring him closer to his sisters.

He was not angry all the time, not stressed out.

It was some adjustment. We had to figure out what would work for all of us.

We defused and went the unschooling path and we realized he needed more structure. We add this and he has just soared.

He relishes his schooling in underwear. LOL
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#21 of 22 Old 01-24-2004, 11:59 PM
 
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My son left school last school year - 2 months into second grade - and it was a *great* decision. My daughter is in second grade at a private school now, and she wants to finish the school year, then homeschool after that. I am literally counting the days until the end of her school year! Then we'll truly be free!

As far as sibling harmony goes: My daughter wanted to "try" homeschool the week after Christmas vacation. During the two weeks of "vacation" she and her brother - who are close, but do have their moments - had about the same number of "moments" as usual. But - during the week she was trying homeschooling, they got along so well, it was actually blissful around here - LOL!. Very interesting. We'll see how their relationship changes when she's officially homeschooling...

Laura

Marsupial Mom: Our ds' sound so similar. My son was becoming more and more angry when he was in school - now he's the happiest kid! And...we also thought we would unschool, but figured out that he feels better and flourishes with a little bit of structure.
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#22 of 22 Old 01-26-2004, 01:29 PM
 
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I have quite a while until I have to decide about my child's schooling, but any and all info is helpful.

Here's my question...how long?

Some people put there kids in a regular hs after homeschooling from K-8th grade. Some go all 13 years. Some just do elementary. Teaching at a highschool level seems so daunting!

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