If one more person says "socialazation" to me - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 02:58 PM
 
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I was just "attacked" on the socialization subject this last week. I found it very irritating. I'm complimented by many people at how nice and well behaved my children are. I believe they get along with others of various ages, as they aren't stuck with 20-30 kids of the same age. I made the comment to the attcking person that kids are told they aren't in school to socialize. Plus that there are numerous opportunities for children to interact with others, without being in a school environment. I left it at that, as I felt the words were falling on deaf ears. At least most people I encounter are nicer about the whole subject.
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#32 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 03:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmamacita
Okay, so maybe I could say this in response to the socialization comments...

Yes, kids need relationship and recess in schools is a great way for kids to socialize. Did you know they are thinking of removing recess from some public schools? Can you believe that?
and do you know that not all ps have recess. The first elementry school I went to(K-mid of 6th grade) did not have recess. We just had gym once a week. The other elementry school I went to had recess, but it was only for up to 4th grade.
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#33 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 09:56 AM
 
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<<<Yes, kids need relationship and recess in schools is a great way for kids to socialize. Did you know they are thinking of removing recess from some public schools? Can you believe that?>>>

Watching a PBS news show last month.They were discussing recess,and how it is first to go over academics.They stated that 40% of public schools today no longer have it,and yet how important it was for the childrens development.

When dd was in preschool her teacher(s) would have trouble controling 10-15 kids,so why would a classroom of 15+ kids be better(and with only 1 teacher!)?Oh yea,as they age the behave better
No thanks! We like to pick our settings,and if the kids(or adults) are not to our liking then we leave.No need to sit for hours and tolerate it!
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#34 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 12:56 PM
 
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I haven't even started homeschooling yet and I'm getting that! First hubby was worried that she'd be "wierd" if I homeschooled her. Then my mom was worried that she wouldn't be socialized.
I finally convinced Hubby to let me try it, and if she started being "weird" we'd change something (LOL! Men!), and he was going to "let me do it" but wasn't happy with it, although he's completely on board now. And after telling my mom about us taking her puppy for a walk and that she told EVERY person we saw "Hi! This is my puppy. His name is Trey!" she worried that she might be a tad TOO social! Where we live, we can see the park from the back yard, so I watch when I'm outside and if I see a few short people running around, we decide it's a good time to go to the park. Our neighbor across the street had a boy a few months older than DD, and her best friend is about 6 mos older than her. She has a cousin a year older than her, but that child....well, I just don't like the influence she has on DD. To put it nicely. My other neighbor has grandkids about DD's age but she hasn't met them yet.
MIL, who never agrees with anything I say or do, doesn't know that I'm homeschooling yet. That will be a huge set of fireworks. Good thing I don't really care what she thinks!

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#35 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 01:01 PM
 
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[QUOTE=mattemma04
Watching a PBS news show last month.They were discussing recess,and how it is first to go over academics.They stated that 40% of public schools today no longer have it,and yet how important it was for the childrens development.

[/QUOTE]

That is really sad :-( Kids need that time to get out and burn off some steam, especialy when they've been cooped up in a classroom for several hours. When I was in early elementary, we had 3 recess periods a day! I think the first and third were about 15 minutes, and the second one was after lunch, and we went outside when we finished eating, and it lasted until the end of the lunch period, which I think was a half hour or 45 mins total. I moved in 5th grade, and they only had one recess I think, just after lunch. We even had a "recess" in high school! After we ate we'd go to the gym and play basketball or do whatever we wanted until the 30 min lunch period was over. It's NEEDED for kids in school.

Of course, my first elementary school cut certain academic classes so they could afford to keep the all-important athletics program. Even cut out field trips!

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#36 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 01:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HerthElde
Okay, they're socialized, but . . . how will they learn to take turns?
I dunno, my child sat on the edge of the tub while I was using the potty this morning and said "I have to wait for my turn." She's not quite 4, not even old enough to go to public school and be *socialized* yet, and already knows how to take turns.

She plays board games and has to wait her turn, she has to wait her turn at the slide or the tire swing at the playground. She even makes our dogs take turns on going out in the yard to go potty. That's something you should learn way before you are school age!
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#37 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 02:22 PM
 
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All in all, WAY too many people think that the only way for a kid to become "social" is to be in school with other kids their age....ugh :

I try not to attack to much when I'm given the socialization poop. It's one of the only arguments most parents have approached me with when we have any discussions about homeschooling! Some of my relatives are SO negative about this that I've had to make a 'no talking about homeschooling during holiday dinners' rule in the house !
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#38 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 04:05 PM
 
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I dunno, my child sat on the edge of the tub while I was using the potty this morning ...
I love that I'm not the only one that doesn't refer to it as a toilet anymore.

I've been lucky with the "s" word. This is probably because I live in an area where homeschooling is common. When I do get it, I consider the source...more often than not it comes from someone whom I feel was let down by the public school system iykwim.
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#39 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 04:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmberC
She plays board games and has to wait her turn, she has to wait her turn at the slide or the tire swing at the playground. She even makes our dogs take turns on going out in the yard to go potty. That's something you should learn way before you are school age!
Tell me about it! Dd's 2.5, and she already knows to take turns on the slide at the playground.
IIRC, the ILs were also going on about learning how to stand in line. Because, you know, they all live in a bubble until they start school
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#40 of 53 Old 05-18-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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anyone else up for making a "the S word" flyer to keep handy for these situations??

seriously, the next time it comes up, i'm whipping one out of my diaper bag and handing it out. for my convenience, haha.
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#41 of 53 Old 05-19-2006, 02:52 AM
 
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I am nervous and feel very overwhelmed with the idea of trying to entertain my child all day or try to find enriching activities without her getting bored...???
I really, really wouldn't try to entertain my child all day. I think people do a great diservices to their kids when they do this. It's great to play with your kids, but not all day. It's also great to do crafts and other activities, but again, not all day. Firstly it creates a dependence on others for entertainment. Which means your child is learning how not to play by themselves, how not to use there imaginations, and keeps you wraped up in them with no time to do anything. Secondly being bored actualy stimulates creativity. It's good to be bored now and then. It's far better to include your child in what you are doing. So have her sort the whites from the colours, rinse and stack some dishes, dust over with a cloth etc. A childs play is their work. watching ants and digging in the dirt with a stick is probably far more educational then glueing those shapes on paper.
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#42 of 53 Old 05-19-2006, 08:56 AM
 
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wait, so little bitty babies are supposed to learn to "soothe themselves to sleep" but we're not supposed to let older children learn to entertain themselves? Man, how am I going to become a mainstream mother if they keep changing the rules around?
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#43 of 53 Old 05-27-2006, 03:48 PM
 
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When the socialization word comes up, I generally tell people that I beat up my son and take his lunch money twice a week... that usually makes them smile and stay quiet.
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#44 of 53 Old 05-27-2006, 03:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kolleen9
When the socialization word comes up, I generally tell people that I beat up my son and take his lunch money twice a week... that usually makes them smile and stay quiet.
Yeah, that would probably do it!!!

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
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#45 of 53 Old 05-27-2006, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The first rule of homeschooling: water the plants! :
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#46 of 53 Old 05-27-2006, 11:55 PM
 
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Quote:
wait, so little bitty babies are supposed to learn to "soothe themselves to sleep" but we're not supposed to let older children learn to entertain themselves? Man, how am I going to become a mainstream mother if they keep changing the rules around?
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#47 of 53 Old 05-28-2006, 12:16 AM
 
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that is SOOOO AWESOME......I will be using this one with especially annoying and/or ridiculous inquiries!!!!
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#48 of 53 Old 05-28-2006, 12:25 AM
 
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huh that is a good comeback!

what does "socialization" mean in this context, anyway?
I mean, what do people mean when they say it?
It's like they have a kneejerk reaction to the word "homeschool" like all we'd do is stay at home, just me and ds, all day long, doing workbooks.

I tell them that if we homeschooled, we are very fortunate to be in a huge community of homeschoolers here in NYC, and the city would be our classroom. It would be great fun to spend our days in museums and similar venues, as well as have group activities with other homeschoolers - I also tell them that I would not be responsible for all of the coursework; that different people could possibly "teach" different subjects, and we would have "classes" in different spaces... the more I describe how it might be, the more the other person becomes interested and envious of the concept.
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#49 of 53 Old 05-28-2006, 04:39 AM
 
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I always worry about responding to this (although I am asked this by pretty much EVERY single person after way say we are unschooling - : ) because I feel it is SO ridiculous I can't even justify it with a response. I feel as though by talking "socialization" with them I am letting them frame the conversation. There is pretty much no way to convince people how ridiculous this is unless they took a weekend and went to a unschooling conference like I just did and saw how incredibly different, and highly socially skilled the children are. And they will never do that. Besides, I think people say it out of fear and a need to "one up" me. It is such a reversal.

I now say, "asking a homeschooler, 'but how will they get socialization?' is the same as asking someone who lives in a fresh water spring, 'but won't you get thirsty?" When I am really grumpy I say, "my child doesn't need to learn cruelty, thanks".

Michelle

Michelle: obsessed crafter, Buddhist Yogini, college student, and unschooling mom of two awesome daughters 12 and 6
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#50 of 53 Old 05-28-2006, 05:04 AM
 
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There and article in Life Learning magazine called, "Was Beethoven Social" about this issue. You can order a back issue and read it and you will never again worry about it, and, you will have an article to hand to people who bug you about it. You will love it. It is briliant and debunks the whole social dogma.
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#51 of 53 Old 05-28-2006, 11:30 AM
 
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Why is it so hard for people to grasp that there is life outside of school??

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#52 of 53 Old 05-28-2006, 04:00 PM
 
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Quote:
what does "socialization" mean in this context, anyway?
I mean, what do people mean when they say it?
It's like they have a kneejerk reaction to the word "homeschool" like all we'd do is stay at home, just me and ds, all day long, doing workbooks.
Yes, I've found that the best approach is to say "what do you mean by socialization?" I say it in a genuinely curious tone, and half the time the person doesn't even know what it is they mean. Some will say something about learning to get along with other kids (as we're watching my ds play with other kids on the playground), to which I tell them all the different opportunities he has to play with other kids. Depending on who I am talking with, I may also point out that ds got along with other kids much better BEFORE he went to preschool.

I have actually had other people tell me before that ds had to learn that I wasn't always going to be there for him. Huh? I didn't know being a mother ended at age 5. And how many times do you hear that the single biggest factor that determines how well a school does is the amount of parents who are involved.

Most of the time when I ask them what they mean they realize what a stupid question it is.
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#53 of 53 Old 05-28-2006, 05:53 PM
 
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How socialized is it in school with same aged (within 10-14 months difference) children compared to all people in the Real World?

Pat

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