If one more person says "socialazation" to me - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I swear I'll scream!!!! I already had ahuge fight with MIL than in recounting the story to my friend my freind said, "well she wont AS socialized as other kids" What...will my daughter only be partly socialized???? :
Why does everyone think that kids can only be social in school? You can't even be social in school...not really. after school maybe and maybe during some fun classes but mosly aren't kids there to learn...not socialize. Is that what teacher's say all the time???? I am sooo irritated!~!!!

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#2 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:25 PM
 
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I feel ya, mama! I think we all get fed up with hearing that. People think homeschoolers are gangly, desperate kids without friends. How sad that misconception is. I tell my family that my kids are BETTER socialized than school kids because they aren't limited to their own age group. My kids talk with people in the community of all ages, races, religions, etc. This helps them to be more accepting of others, also, instead of the cliques kids face in school. My daughter can converse with anyone now instead of standing behind me not interacting with "the adults". We have to educate these people about the misconceptions of hsers! I'm with you on that one!
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#3 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:27 PM
 
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ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
I swear to gawd...WE are seriously considering homeschooling and every single dang person I mention it to I get the "Socialization" crap!!
I just realized this bothers me ..Can ya tell!?!!
Seriosly im getting really sick of people lately offering their unsolicited advice in terms of how to raise my kid!:
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#4 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:34 PM
 
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Even if that was true, if I KNEW Joe would never get any socialization whatsoever, I would STILL homeschool him, because... I graduated in 1991 & it is only within the last few years that I have really recovered from the "socialization" I received in public school. And I still have issues, they are simply no longer as severe.
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#5 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:39 PM
 
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Well, I have a chuckle for you that might help: The Interview. It's a fictional story, but fun. Lillian
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#6 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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Yep! My mom said something to the same effect--" You and your brother went to public school and you guys turned out fine!". I reminded her about how I came home crying just about every day begging to go to private school(I knew nothing of hsing then). I also reminded her of the bad socialization in schools like the things I've heard of kids doing on the schoolbus now, bullying, patronization by authorities, and all that other crap. Why torture our kids? Why make them doubt themselves due to the way others treat them? We can teach them about these people and ideas BEFORE we send them out in the "real world", and they will be more able to deal with it.
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#7 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:51 PM
 
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Anytime I hear this, I offer too send my dd to go chat with worried party. Ten minutes with my outgoing chatterbox , should convice most people that there is nothing unsocial about homeschooled children.
I also like too point out to people that one of the reasons I wanted to homeschool is that when she was kindergarten age she was so shy and withdrawn. I didn't think she could handle being in such a large group all day. But by being at home and being allowed too learn to socialize with people at her pace and not being restricted too just one age group. She has become a very outgoing, friendly, polite child to anyone of any age she happens too meet. When we are at a playground or park and she sees a child being left out she will usually go up introduce herself and try and include the other child.
I don't think any of this would have happened if I had sent her off too school.
JMHO

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#8 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 03:55 PM
 
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I really like that one, Lil. You're an endless resource! I actually sent that one to my mom!
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#9 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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Okay, they're socialized, but . . . how will they learn to take turns?












Seriously - I got to hear from MIL alllllll about how dd's cousin is being taught how to take turns in preschool - can't wait til she finds out we're homeschooling. Bwahahahaha.

I find that with the kids I know, they lost the ability to socialize with adults when they started school.
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#10 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 06:45 PM
 
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If anyone mentions socialization to me I simply reply with "One more reason I choose to homeschool."
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#11 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 07:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My3monkeys:
My DD isn't actually shy and withdrawn but she gets self conscious around people when asked to "perform" like in our singng class. she wont sing when asked...just giggle but she sings all the songs at random times at home or in the car. So people will say that she needs to be socialized...did people say that to you b/c your DD was shy? People seem to think that she should be forced to socialize. they think she needs to be dragged away from me b/c she is nrevous without me.

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#12 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 07:36 PM
 
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I just had that talk with the secretary at the preschool where I help out at times ( I usually take him with me ).....she was going on about him never talking or saying "hello" to her, he would not be such a strange child if he went to school...helloooo- he has Aspergers!!!!...and NO my child is not strange- he is a gift from heaven
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#13 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 09:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hipumpkins
My3monkeys:
My DD isn't actually shy and withdrawn but she gets self conscious around people when asked to "perform" like in our singng class. she wont sing when asked...just giggle but she sings all the songs at random times at home or in the car. So people will say that she needs to be socialized...did people say that to you b/c your DD was shy? People seem to think that she should be forced to socialize. they think she needs to be dragged away from me b/c she is nrevous without me.
Yes, there were people who felt that was the exact reason she needed too go to school! A friend whose dh is a public school teacher, was very adament on the subject. To this day I try too avoid the subject with her, because I get tired of defending my decisions. I think it also bothers her that my dd reads much more fluently than her ds, who is older.
I also forgot to mention that my dd had a speech delay and tends to stutter. Which gets worse when she is nervous or excited. I was afraid the other children would make fun of her and only make the problem worse. Unfortunately as we all know children can be cruel. This way she has learned too cope with it on her own in her own way. The speech as cleared and the older she gets and the more confident she gets, the less she stutters. Funny you should mention singing, my dd also loves too sing. She is very good. Never a stutter or stammer when she sings either. I just wish I could afford voice lessons for her.
Don't let the naysayers get too you, go with your mommy instinct!

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#14 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 09:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hipumpkins
I swear I'll scream!!!! I already had ahuge fight with MIL than in recounting the story to my friend my freind said, "well she wont AS socialized as other kids" What...will my daughter only be partly socialized???? :
Why does everyone think that kids can only be social in school? You can't even be social in school...not really. after school maybe and maybe during some fun classes but mosly aren't kids there to learn...not socialize. Is that what teacher's say all the time???? I am sooo irritated!~!!!
I hear ya'.
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#15 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 09:54 PM
 
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Because, of course, we *all* know that no shy child was *ever* driven deeper into themselves as a result of school.: C'est un peu stupid ca.
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#16 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 10:01 PM
 
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Sometimes I wonder....how did all the early American pioneer families deal with these problems? How did they even continue to live their lives, procreate and deal with the abominable harshness of life on the prairies, etc...without the socialization provided by public schooling. I mean, most of the time they didn't have schools, teachers were hard to come by, especially in very rural areas. Other families lived many miles away so children were forced to find amusement with their siblings...it's a wonder this country didn't go down in flames...must be some kinda miracle!
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#17 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 10:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sometimes I wonder....how did all the early American pioneer families deal with these problems? How did they even continue to live their lives, procreate and deal with the abominable harshness of life on the prairies, etc...without the socialization provided by public schooling. I mean, most of the time they didn't have schools, teachers were hard to come by, especially in very rural areas. Other families lived many miles away so children were forced to find amusement with their siblings...it's a wonder this country didn't go down in flames...must be some kinda miracle!


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Don't let the naysayers get too you, go with your mommy instinct
Thanks!!

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#18 of 53 Old 05-16-2006, 10:53 PM
 
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Have you ever noticed how incredibly *RUDE* most comments about "socialization" are?!
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#19 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 12:51 AM
 
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I have. And I have wondered how they would respond if I did the same in kind. But I say nothing at times. And other times, I just look puzzled.
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#20 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 01:15 AM
 
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Would you rather have your child "socialized" by 30 other children in a classroom or influenced/socialized by you (ie your influence being stronger in those early years rather than by peers)? I have read that hs children have much better self-image and social skills....
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#21 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 01:18 AM
 
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By the way, anyone know of a good resource to learn of the positives with hs? I have a toddler DD and am considering hs her after meeting some families who homeschool and love it. I am nervous and feel very overwhelmed with the idea of trying to entertain my child all day or try to find enriching activities without her getting bored...???
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#22 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 10:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmamacita
I have. And I have wondered how they would respond if I did the same in kind. But I say nothing at times. And other times, I just look puzzled.
I always want too respond back with something smartaleck. But usually I just answer back very nicely. My dh on the other hand doesn't have that problem. When someone asked him one day, if he wasn't worried about the long term damage that he could do too his children. He responded that he was much more concerned about the long term damage of day care. Also that we had our children too raise them ourselves not too turn them over too someone else too raise most of the day. This to the man whose children had been in day care since day 1! He never said another word about homeschooling to dh!

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#23 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 10:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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not too turn them over too someone else too raise most of the day.
Oooo!! I'm using that!!! If you're husband wont mind!

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#24 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 11:04 AM
 
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This is the biggest thing I hear when I tell people we are considering homeschooling and it annoys me to no end. My DH is a big fan of throwing that word around too (he's not as convinced about homeschooling as I am). As if school is the only place kids can get together and socialize!

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#25 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 11:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kim5
By the way, anyone know of a good resource to learn of the positives with hs? I have a toddler DD and am considering hs her after meeting some families who homeschool and love it. I am nervous and feel very overwhelmed with the idea of trying to entertain my child all day or try to find enriching activities without her getting bored...???
I think just hanging around here and seeing the fun people that are having with their children is a great way to learn the positives. Also look up in the sticky about articles/info in defense of homeschooling. They're not all particularly "defending" it - some are just telling about the values of it. Meanwhile, you might find some fun things to do with your little ones in this preschool/kindergarten page - in the two top articles and beneath the box of articles in all site links. Lillian
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#26 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 01:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillian J


I think just hanging around here and seeing the fun people that are having with their children is a great way to learn the positives. Also look up in the sticky about articles/info in defense of homeschooling. They're not all particularly "defending" it - some are just telling about the values of it. Meanwhile, you might find some fun things to do with your little ones in this preschool/kindergarten page - in the two top articles and beneath the box of articles in all site links. Lillian
:
I know I found myself doubting weather I was doing the right thing a few months ago. Due too alot of stress and some very hurtful comments from supposed friends. So I found my way over here, I have lurked off and on for quite awhile. By joining in and reading I am finding my confidence returning and reinforcing why I thought hs was best for my family. I have also finally got around too joining the only local homeschool group I know of. I am just waiting too her back from them. I just realized that I sent my letter and check a month ago, still haven't heard from them. I guess I better contact them!

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#27 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 01:55 PM
 
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IN response to taking away recess, A mother said "It's how I believe they start building their social structure," said Sandi Hocker, a mother of two in San Antonio, Texas. "Their P.E. classes are organized, and they are activity related. I think (children) need recess just for the socialization."

SO if recess is for socialization. Then what is school for?

I cut and pasted the quote from this article I found via a thread in N&CE. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060517/...tkBHNlYwM3MTg-
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#28 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 01:57 PM
 
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Okay, so maybe I could say this in response to the socialization comments...

Yes, kids need relationship and recess in schools is a great way for kids to socialize. Did you know they are thinking of removing recess from some public schools? Can you believe that?
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#29 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 02:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmamacita
Okay, so maybe I could say this in response to the socialization comments...

Yes, kids need relationship and recess in schools is a great way for kids to socialize. Did you know they are thinking of removing recess from some public schools? Can you believe that?
I still have a visceral reaction when the subject comes up. It's really scary. And the scariest thought of all might be what kind of adults they're going to become with so much childhood missing from their lives.... - Lillian
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#30 of 53 Old 05-17-2006, 02:16 PM
 
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I hear ya !!!
We actually had an employee of my parents (they run a trucking buisness) tell my 3 1/2 year old that if he goes to school at home he'll have no firends, never meet any girls adn no one will like him and they will think he's wierd.
: : : :
OH I WAS PI$$ED! Luckily my son can take things form the source and know that non of this is true! (Especialyl since all his really close friends are homeschooled as well!!)
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