question for unschoolers - Mothering Forums
Learning at Home and Beyond > question for unschoolers
Luma's Avatar Luma 12:51 AM 02-02-2002
do you potty train? I kind of feel ds will do it on his own without much "training". did your child self though to use the potty?

MamaMel's Avatar MamaMel 01:09 PM 02-02-2002
DS taught himself started to teach himself how to use the potty at around 14 months. He learned how to take off all of his diapers at around 11 months, so he was usually naked, which btw I believe really moves the process along because they really start to see the cause and effect. Like "oh, when I feel that pressure there and press down like this stuff comes out! Hey, look at that! I can make it go different places too!". This is a good experiement for out in the yard during the summer time! We ended up having him naked most of the time and he would help me clean up if there was an accident. However, just a little while into this, he started asking for his diaper when he had to go. I'd put it on him and he would pee and then we would take it right off. At around 14 months we bought him a potty and he used it 4 times the first night! He used it off and on from there. At one point he decided that he liked standing better, so I put him in the tub to pee since his aim wasn't so good. By 16 months he was doing very well over night and everything. By 18 months he was consistantly using his potty or the toilet at all times. Another thing that I think helped is that around the time when he started to show an interest I started having my DH take him in the bathroom with him when he had to go so that he could see what needed to be done. This caused caused joyful giggling from my little boy and at 2 years old is still one of his favorite parts of the day. They have a daily appointment when DH gets home from work to go pee-pees together. I'm sure DH would love to know that I am sharing this! He once commented on how it's a little off-putting to unzip your pants and have the room fill with laughter!

Anyhow, we pretty much just followed his lead. So this has been our experience, I don't know if it's of any help to you, but I thought I would share.
erika's Avatar erika 03:13 PM 02-02-2002
your child will self-train before the age of 6 if you want to follow his lead totally.

one caveat - some children will develop constipation before they are potty "trained" because they don't like the feel of poopy diapers but they don't want (or understand how) to use the potty, either. several children i know had this, including my dd. i didn't make the connection - i thought it was dietary - until she started using the potty for poop and her constipation (which had gone on for 6 months) disappeared overnight. btw, we were totally non-judgemental about poop on the floor or in the diaper or wherever.

however, we didn't totally self-train, in that i put her in cotton training pants, but if she had 2 accidents in a row i put her back in cloth diapers (again, non-judgementally) until she went in the potty. but it was up to her to decide if she preferred the diapers or training pants. and if she had a day where she just felt like diapers all day, that was fine.

(when i say some kids don't understand how to poop in the potty, i mean that a lot of babies get accustomed to defecating while standing and so they don't understand they can do it while sitting!)
SagMom's Avatar SagMom 04:33 PM 02-02-2002
When they became interested in the potty and wanted to sit on it themselves, I'd help them get their diaper/pants off and get up on the potty. When they wanted "big kid" underwear we got it and they wore it when they wanted to. My older two both informed me a few months after their 3rd birthday that they no longer needed diapers and refused to wear them. End of story.
Luma's Avatar Luma 05:35 PM 02-02-2002
Thank you all, ds is 2 years old and has just begun to use the potty seat on the toilet. He likes going up and down with his stool and pretend that he wipes himself. In these games he has peed like 3 times and pooped like 2! We think its quite cool because although the potty has been lying around the house for some months we havent say anything about it in a consistent way. Also he goes arund without diaper a lot of the time and helps clean up, we are also non-judgemental about pee or poop on the floor. I suppose this is the way to go with him since hes already doing it on his own. Its great beacause I kind of dreaded the potty trainig issue, maybe just because of the "training" word!
Thanks so much for your help.

MamaMel thats very funny
Alexander's Avatar Alexander 02:02 AM 02-04-2002
As a general principle behind unschooling, children will learn about things that are around them. If you want your children to have good manners, as a model to your children, use good manners. The same goes with reading, arithmetic, or writing letters to people you love.

Nothing is more pertinent to children and our job as "example providers" than using the loo! Thus, it makes perfect sence to do all those things in an open manner, toilet door open, so the kids can see. They of course will want to copy, and thus toilet training is achieved without "training"

Hope this helps

Luma's Avatar Luma 07:54 PM 02-04-2002
"toilet training is achieved without "training""