I used to try to follow the public school system curriculum in planning what topics to cover at specific grades/ages. In my state you can look at all the public school system curricula for every school system in the state at the state universities. When I began looking at them I was surprised at how much they varied.
I think it is more improtant to follow a curriculum and do assessments if you are planning for your child to attend school in the future. If they are not going to school until college, what does it matter if they learned to read when they were 4 or 11? The important issue for us is that they could do well enough on the GED and get accepted to college.
You might try sitting down with your husband or someone else's opinion you value and come up with a list of what you think is important for your children to know as an adult. My list is basic: enjoy reading, be able to cook any receipe in a cookbook, hand sewing buttons and patches, how to manage a checking account, how to solve a problem using several different alternatives, ect. Jobs and scouts were very important learning experiences for my 2 oldest sons when they were high school age. Working at a minimum wage job was motivation to go to college.
Because of the rapid growth of knowledge and the changing nature of jobs the most important thing we can do is to teach our children how to learn. Our children will need to be lifelong learners. Our children may have 3 or 4 different professions (not just jobs) in their working lives. While I was in graduate school many of the adults were working on degrees in entirely new professions.
Studies have shown the most common way for 'lifelong learners' to attack learning is through learning projects. Say you are a skilled learner and you want to breastfeed. You would go the library and get many books, go to the internet, go to LLL meetings, talk to moms who enjoyed breastfeeding, ect. You would probably get to the point where you understand breastfeeding pretty well and may start learning about something else.
Learning experts are realizing that there is not that there is not that much difference between learning as children and learning as an adult (except autonomy). I no longer try to cover 5 or 6 subjects a day and follow someone elses expectations of what children should learn at what grade.