What is your QUICKEST response to the Socialization question? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 01:20 AM
 
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Ask them this; "How do children who dont have social skills yet learn them from other children who also dont have them yet?"

It makes WAY more sense that kids learn socialization from socializing with ALL age groups, espeically older kids and adults.

I dont believe in peer grouping. When else in life does that happen? Do they stick you in the office with all the other 30 year olds at work? I mean come on.

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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#32 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 01:34 AM
 
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I am really enjoying this thread.

Just wanted to add a thought- Laura Ingalls Wilder spent much of her childhood "isolated" with only her immediate family nearby, and she ended up being an articulate, creative novelist. I'm sure there are many other people who grew up without all the "socialization" that everyone seems to deem necessary for "normal" development and turned out just fine. Since I am a rural, somewhat-isolated homeschooler, I take comfort in thoughts like this. We make way too much of the socialization issue. Sorry, sort of OT, but i thought it was kind of relevant.
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#33 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 01:55 AM
 
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I think public schools have HURT more kids in that area than they have helped. How many times have you heard the phrase "kids are cruel'? How many highschool horror stories do you hear? Hazing? Initiations? Not being 'popular'?

Kids CAN be cruel, when forced into unnatural groupings like this. Lord of the Flies was an extreme, but its on the same spectrum. Im sorry, but the first time my oldest child ever heard the term "crybaby" it was from his BESTFRIEND in preschool when he cried about being shoved off his tricycle. So he crawled into cement tunnel to cry where no one could see him.

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#34 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 02:15 AM
 
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Quick answer to socialization worries:

"Have you MET my child?!" Said with an incredulous look on my face.

My dd gets comments from strangers about how she is able to have articulate conversations (with appropriate eye contact, etc) with people of all ages. So people who ask me about socialization just aren't paying attention.

Another good response (but longer):

"SOCIALIZATION is the process by which a child learns and displays the social skills valued by their culture. Teaching these skills is best handled by the parents. SOCIALIZING is spending time, playing and talking with friends. Socializing is firmly discouraged in public school classes. Ever heard a teacher say 'No talking'?"

I say this because people sometimes get the two concepts - socialization and socializing - mixed up. Especially if they aren't really all that educated about homeschooling.

Ann-Marita. I deleted my usual signature due to, oh, wait, if I say why, that might give too much away. 

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#35 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 03:18 AM
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"SOCIALIZATION is the process by which a child learns and displays the social skills valued by their culture. Teaching these skills is best handled by the parents. SOCIALIZING is spending time, playing and talking with friends. Socializing is firmly discouraged in public school classes. Ever heard a teacher say 'No talking'?"
you beat me to it. I truly think most of the time they really mean socializing.
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#36 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 08:03 AM
 
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Our DS tried going to school for a semester (partly because he is seriously thinking about going to school later so he can be in sports, and we wanted him to see what it was like first at an earlier, "safer" age). The teacher was taken aback by his habit of thanking her "every day" (DS says it wasn't every day ) and said he was the most appreciative student she'd ever had out of more than 500 students over the years. I'd say that appreciativeness is a social skill that [should be] valued by our culture, yet our kids have many friends who never say "thank you" for anything we do for them. (Many adults also don't seem to know the simple courtesy of writing thank you notes for gifts, etc.; I'd hate to see that lovely custom die out.)

I think it's hard to come up with honest responses to people challenging homeschooling, because so many of the answers would put many traditional schoolers on the defensive. One thing I might say is, "We make sure they get lots of time with friends, but I'm also glad our family gets lots of time with each other." I think our kids, who range in age 6+ years, play together a lot more and are a lot closer than they would be if they were away at school all day. (Think of all the school kids you know who snub younger children, or even their own siblings.)







Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann-Marita View Post
Quick answer to socialization worries:

"Have you MET my child?!" Said with an incredulous look on my face.

My dd gets comments from strangers about how she is able to have articulate conversations (with appropriate eye contact, etc) with people of all ages. So people who ask me about socialization just aren't paying attention.

Another good response (but longer):

"SOCIALIZATION is the process by which a child learns and displays the social skills valued by their culture. Teaching these skills is best handled by the parents. SOCIALIZING is spending time, playing and talking with friends. Socializing is firmly discouraged in public school classes. Ever heard a teacher say 'No talking'?"

I say this because people sometimes get the two concepts - socialization and socializing - mixed up. Especially if they aren't really all that educated about homeschooling.
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#37 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 08:28 AM
 
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Ask them this; "How do children who don't have social skills yet learn them from other children who also don't have them yet?"
I don't think that is what these people are after. When they say "How does he get enough socialization" they really mean "How does he get enough time to socialize with children who are the same age" because we all know kids can ONLY socialize with kids a few months younger or older, and that homeschooled ones are chained to the kitchen chair all day doing flash cards.

I was asked about how I could homeschool yesterday while our family was at the local swimming pool (yep it's summer over here ) Lucky for me she didn't ask the big S question. Because like someone else we are rural and social opportunities are not everyday so I can't say we see kids every day or even every second day. My daughter is thankfully quite outgoing and very quickly was playing with first two older girls, then the lady's own daughter in the pool. Of course some people may then think an outgoing child would need school more. While I think being outgoing means she can handle less social opportunities as she takes advantage of the opportunities she has and quickly finds someone to talk or play with. I'm sure in school she would quickly be in trouble for talking.
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#38 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 12:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by townmouse View Post
If they say, "My child is an only child so that wouldn't be true for me," I just laugh and say, "when it comes to education methods, I only have to worry about my family. This is working for us!"

I just am tired of the question. "It works for my family" is often not good enough, they want to challenge me to see how I could make it work for their family. When they don't even want to do it!

I want people to understand that it is not my job to solve America's education crisis. Not on a national level, not case-by-case. I'm just one mama, making choices for the best life for my own children.
Thank you for articulating this! You are right that there are plenty of people out there who want to challenge homeschooling because they don't see how it could work for THEIR family or EVERY family.
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#39 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 01:05 PM
 
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For my DD, I would just worry about the socialization
My answer:
"Oh, have you considered homeschooling then?"

her:, oh, no!

(optional follow up) me: Well we've found both the socialization and socializing are much more positive experiences homeschooling than away-schooling.



I do get tired of people feeling like they need to explain why they don't homeschool by covertly (or not so covertly) slamming homeschooling.
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#40 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 01:31 PM
 
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Comic strip says it all....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...eschooling.jpg
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#41 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 01:50 PM
 
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That is too, too funny!
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#42 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 02:02 PM
 
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I just spit my tea out! Too funny.
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#43 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 02:59 PM
 
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that cartoon Rocks!!! So authentic.LOL

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

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#44 of 56 Old 01-12-2007, 07:56 PM
 
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: :
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#45 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 12:40 AM
 
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The type of social skills I learned in school and that are still taught today are not something I would want my kids exposed to.


but then they will say ... but that is the real world

see my unanswered post related to this ...

relaxed-unschooler mama to dd (2003). hoping for second one. love being a mama!!
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#46 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 01:54 AM
 
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#47 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 05:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Hibou View Post
I am really enjoying this thread.

Just wanted to add a thought- Laura Ingalls Wilder spent much of her childhood "isolated" with only her immediate family nearby, and she ended up being an articulate, creative novelist. I'm sure there are many other people who grew up without all the "socialization" that everyone seems to deem necessary for "normal" development and turned out just fine. Since I am a rural, somewhat-isolated homeschooler, I take comfort in thoughts like this. We make way too much of the socialization issue. Sorry, sort of OT, but i thought it was kind of relevant.
Wonderful point!

Liz~A wife and homeschooling mother to two gifts from God!
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#48 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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I've been known to say, "Yes, the positive socialization is one of the great benefits of homeschooling, isn't it?"

Of couse, if I've just met them because ds struck up a five-minute conversation with a perfect stranger, then I just say, "Ummm....he seems pretty social to me!"
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#49 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 07:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 2tadpoles View Post
I just choked on my tea... that was So funny!

Lisa: Homeschooling Mum of ds, 8 and dd, 6
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#50 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 08:26 PM
 
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"You know, everyone asks that, so there are lots of lovely articles on the web. Check them out and I'll be glad to answer any specific questions you have next week. Right now, we've got to get home."
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#51 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 09:24 PM
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I've been known to say, "Yes, the positive socialization is one of the great benefits of homeschooling, isn't it?"
love it
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#52 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 10:14 PM
 
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I usually have two answers, depending on who is asking the question and what their tone is.

1) My son is so busy I had to buy a date book to keep track of his schedule.

2) Yeah he was learning a lot about socialization while in day care. He learned things like, "I can't play with you cause you're not white." And "You're a N****r". This was not in a lily white neighborhood. Kids in his class were black, white, latino (like DS), and asian. That's not the kind of socialization I want him to learn.

Kathi

:::Mom to 5 adult children and 8 year old, Dakota "Why do they call it homeschool, we're never at home?"
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#53 of 56 Old 01-13-2007, 11:57 PM
 
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I seem to recall a thread not that long ago, in which somebody said that she likes to turn the questions back around. I thought that was a great idea: What exactly do you mean when you say "socialization?" that sort of thing.
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#54 of 56 Old 01-14-2007, 12:03 AM
 
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I seem to recall a thread not that long ago, in which somebody said that she likes to turn the questions back around. I thought that was a great idea: What exactly do you mean when you say "socialization?" that sort of thing.
The person asking the ?'s is the one in control of the conversation.

I ask them back if I am having any problems socializing with them. They always say "No." I proceed to tell them I was hs'ed till 11th grade. They shut up.
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#55 of 56 Old 01-14-2007, 12:08 AM
 
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Well, my smart-ass answer is:
Socialization is the means by which the manners and mores of a society are transferred from one person to another. I hardly think a group of children is equipped to do that. Maybe you meant socializing? Yeah, we're fine in that department, thanks.

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#56 of 56 Old 01-14-2007, 12:09 AM
 
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Dang it, it's already been said,

My other answer is to look pointedly at my child who is usually playing or conversing with whoever else is around and say, "I think we have it covered."

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