Any suggestions for convincing a skeptical husband? - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-14-2002, 02:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My son is 6 months old now, and I have been thinking of homeschooling him when the time comes. I teach Suzuki violin/viola, and my homeschooled students are so well adjusted and bright. My husband knows these kids and thinks highly of them. But when it comes to future plans for our son, he says "public school was good enough for me."

He also brings up the issue of "socialization." He's afraid that our son would be isolated from his peers. I've described the variety of art, music, math classes and homeschooling associations that are available, but he still isn't sold.

My current Suzuki program is in an elementary school, and I see everyday that crowded classrooms and harried teachers don't provide positive socialization. The level of mutual disrespect between students and teachers is very disheartening.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to convince dh that homeschooling is a wonderful way to raise a child? I've been reading Rahima Baldwin Dancy's You Are Your Child's First Teacher. I have been inspired by her insights, but I think that dh would be turned off by the heavy Waldorf influence. I would like to find an accessible book on homeschooling for him to read.

Thanks, and wish me luck (and perseverence!)
Elizabeth
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Old 02-14-2002, 02:53 AM
 
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Yes! My DH has exactly the same things to say - and we sell homeschooling supplies for our home business!!! I had to find statistics showing him how high homeschooled kids score on standardized testing to convince him it might be acceptable for our ds. (Little does he know that I made my mind up looong ago and now he just has to come around to it!)

I will look for online articles for you and post again in a little while.
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Old 02-14-2002, 03:11 AM
 
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I recommend checking out a John Taylor Gatto book for your dh to read. Your dh should be impressed by his credentials and will probably find his writing to be extremely intelligent, and his points well constructed and sensible.

Here are some links to some useful articles - some about homeschooling, and some about the problems with the public school system:
http://www.brownalumnimagazine.com/s...ail.cfm?ID=672
http://www.sepschool.org/edlib/v1n3/gatto.html
http://www.primenet.com/~afhe/gatto2.htm
http://www.primenet.com/~afhe/gatto4.htm
http://www.dvschool.org/psngatto.htm
http://www.californiahomeschool.net/press/research.asp
http://www.ordination.org/grade.htm

That should get you started! Good luck!
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Old 02-14-2002, 11:58 AM
 
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"Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense" by Gutterson is wonderful. It was written by a homeschooling father who is also a public school teacher and is well balanced and "normal." There is an entire chapter on socialization.

Don't you just love "You are Your Child's First Teacher?" I checked it out of the library but loved it so much I had to run right out and buy my own copy! When I first got it my kids were very young and didn't give a hoot about fairy tales, but they are 3 and 5 now and LOVE their fairy tale before bedtime.
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Old 02-14-2002, 02:17 PM
 
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i secong the john taylor gatto book.

ask dh how he would feel about sticking your kids in daycare 6 hours a day -- my personal experience with that was that dd's social skills got A LOT worse in daycare (which led me to quit my job, etc). why does 6 hrs/day of school at age 5 suddenly become the sacred cow?

perhaps the best advertisement is a few good homeschoolers - try your local support group, if there is one, and try to meet some of the families, particularly the older kids. get dh to see how great the results can be!

for us, i was the sceptic (dh suggested it before i was even pregnant), until i met a homeschooled 17-year-old who was the neatest kid that age i had ever met. i don't mean genius (though maybe he was), i mean his ability to converse with anyone from age 18-68, his thoughtfulness, his enthusiasm, and his open-mindedness!
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Old 02-14-2002, 04:09 PM
 
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My dh was initially skeptical also. Even now I have agreed to take it one year at a time and reassess each summer. However, dh has seen how amazingly well dd has done at home for the past two years. He has already agreed that she should definitely stay home again next year. I think seeing is believing. The socialization thing was his biggest concern but dd is not lacking in this category. We have a small group of homeschoolers we get together with once a week and we do field trips all the time. She also still plays with our neighbors children regularly. Dh commented recently that he doesn't actually think she needs any more socialization than what she is getting at home. Especially when we hear from our friends whose children are in ps. They constantly tell us more about the negative socialization than the the positive stuff. Good luck.
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Old 02-17-2002, 10:57 PM
 
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Anything by John Holt. I just started reading him and he is wonderful. Lots of discussion on how kids learn naturally all the time, and how school inhibits this process and takes the joy out of it.
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Old 02-18-2002, 02:48 AM
 
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Start before it is time for them to go to school. i don't mean push them but set a good example about how you aren't going to be locking them in the house, won't turn into a freak, and can actually teach them something. My deal was "We will do Kindergarten a year early (5) so incase it is a flops we can start her on time" This gave us the option of backing out without her "missing" anything, a chance to see if it really was he best plan for us, a year for him to get used to the idea, and a chance for us to jump in with both feet. We had her evaluated at a preschool screen twice to prove she showed improvement (although I think it would be nearly impossible for a 5 yo to not grow and learn in 6 months time even without homeschooling) Now everyone is with us on this thing (except MIL who will never be a believer : )

Good luck.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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