How do you know if your child is gifted? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 51 Old 06-29-2003, 07:47 PM
 
MamaMonica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: lalalala life goes on
Posts: 13,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gifted is such a loaded term. I think all kids are gifted in certain areas and it is up to the parents to see and nurture those gifts. Some kids read early, some kids can do gymnastic feats early, some draw or sing or dance early, some are empathetic to an extroirdinary degree. Often, they don't have an equal development in all areas- and that is certainly OK. Our society needs all of these gifts. My gripe with public schools is they try to make everyone equal in everything, and some kids just excell at certain things (art, music or math) and don't do well at others...

Being right is not always fair, but being fair is always right
MamaMonica is offline  
#32 of 51 Old 06-29-2003, 07:58 PM
 
nernie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've said it on here before and I'll say it again - I was a gifted child, but I also have some brain related disabilities (long story pm me if you care) and I was subjected to so many tests as a child I began to feel like E.T. Please don't put your son through anything that's not completely necessary. Children in testing begin to feel freakish really quickly. Then you wonder what your "number" (IQ) is. Then when you find out, you go back and forth between feeling too stupid to live up to that large number or really egotistical because "I have an IQ of 175 - I'm smarter than everyone!". Labeling children is IMO never a good idea. Let him do the schoolwork he enjoys and is capable of (which means you will have to homeschool, there isn't a school I know of which allows children to grow on their own like this). Good luck with this.
nernie is offline  
#33 of 51 Old 07-01-2003, 01:28 AM
 
barbara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 2,044
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Labeling children is IMO never a good idea. Let him do the schoolwork he enjoys and is capable of (which means you will have to homeschool, there isn't a school I know of which allows children to grow on their own like this).
Amen!!!

Just let your child be the wonderful amazing person he or she is. Don't worry about how he/she compares with the rest of the world. We are all unique and gifted in many different ways. The wonderful thing about homeschooling is you don't have to lable, or compare your children. Just let them live and learn....and love learning!

barbara is offline  
#34 of 51 Old 07-01-2003, 12:55 PM
 
NoHiddenFees's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,064
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't agree that testing in and of itself is necessarily harmful. It depends on why the child is being tested and what interpretation is placed on the results. Labeling is a separate issue.

I'm planning to homeschool dd. She will be tested only if I suspected she might be highly or profoundly gifted (something I have no reason to believe at the moment). Such a level of giftedness would be beyond my realm of experience as a moderately gifted individual. It's simply easier for me to proceed with "too many" facts, then pare the extra away to help me interpret reality (rather than letting them define it of course).

However, if dd were to be attending public or private school, she would absolutely be tested so we would be in the strongest position possible to get her needs met. Both DH and myself are bitter about our schooling experiences and how the systems we went through catered to the lowest common denominator.
NoHiddenFees is offline  
#35 of 51 Old 07-02-2003, 10:23 AM
 
barbara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 2,044
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
In my experience, testing and "gifted classes" will not help to get your child a better education.

One of the reasons we decided to homeschool 16 years ago, was because our son was gifted. His brother who was and is extreamly intelligent was doing well in 2nd grade in a private school, but when I looked into the options available to a child that was reading the newspaper and teachers manuels at 4, I was appaled!

The schools don't taylor the curriclum to the needs of the gifted child, they simply give them more projects to do. That may work for highly motivated, competive, fast working, gifted kids, but our child would have become bored, restless and a behavior problem.

At home both sons (and our dds as well) have blossomed and been given the chance to learn at the pace that suits them. I must say that I never had a problem keeping my "gifted" child stimulated, motivated, or challenged. In the real world of un-schooling, the possibilities for learning are unlimited for a creative, intellegent mind.

BTW, this son is 21 now. He is taking a "break" from college this year to expand his horizons and make some money.
barbara is offline  
#36 of 51 Old 07-02-2003, 11:58 AM
 
NoHiddenFees's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,064
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
In my experience, testing and "gifted classes" will not help to get your child a better education.
It's about more than just education though. I figure that because we're homeschooling that will more or less take care of itself. It's more about understanding the underlying person. DD is young, but advanced for her age. That doesn't mean she's gifted; only time will tell. However, I've been doing a fair bit of reading about giftedness and have learned a surprising amount about myself in the process. I'm not a freak.

It seems we're approaching this question based on our personal experiences. Mine is that I received absolutely no support and was made to feel ashamed at home because I was bright (mom wasn't exactly mentally stable) and like a freak at school because I was different. Having emotional guidance and support wouldn't have made me popular at school, but it might have helped me better understand and value my own needs. I certainly wasn't getting it at home. In high school, I did have the experience of having a counselor who worked with the "better students." Unfortunately the emphasis was on the vocational, but she did help me in some other areas as well. I was told the results of an IQ test, but was almost done high school and honestly didn't place much importance on it.

As for public schools, different districts have different programs available. There's supposed to be a magnet school for gifted students opening in Portland next year... and I do know a gifted boy who is thriving on an individualized program at the public Metropolitan School. However, I don't have any confidence in the Portland Public Schools system. If I thought DD would get the best education possible in public or private school -- gifted or not -- I wouldn't be planning to homeschool.
NoHiddenFees is offline  
#37 of 51 Old 07-05-2003, 11:33 AM
 
tarasam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by tiffani
HOWEVER, what I find difficult is striking a balance between letting them just live and learn and feeling like I should be doing more to foster their advanced abilities.
snip

Quote:
Originally posted by tiffani
then I hear of many other HS'ing families whose kids are reading, doing math, playing music, etc, at advanced levels and I wonder if I'm actually stifling my kids abilities by insisting that they fall into the Waldorfian style of learning (which they don't really at all) that seems to discourage knowledge of letters/numbers etc. until kids are a bit older, in favor of...verses and watercolor painting? waldorfians with advanced kids help me out here...
Hi Tiffani,

We're also using a child-led approach, but we're not strict Waldorf. We are eclectic, but we do use many ideas from Waldorf, such as verses, natural arts, seasonal rhythms, etc. Our son is advanced in several areas (I posted earlier in this thread), and I don't feel right keeping him from things he loves, like reading/math/science, just to stay in the Waldorf box. He loves to read, so I encourage him to read, and try to provide him with lots of Waldorfy books along with 'regular' books. We really get into seasonal rhythms, and have a nature table at home. We play "math games" which are word problems. I enthusiastically join in his imaginative life, which is almost everpresent. He makes his own storybooks.

My point is that if you are homeschooling, a Waldorf-ish approach doesn't need to be hugely at odds with gifted children. You can still employ gentle learning, imagination, practical skills, etc., without holding them back from things they are interested in at an early age. One reason we chose to homeschool is because our child is so asynchronous. He has many normal 3 year old characteristics, but is very advanced in other areas. He still takes naps most days, but if he isn't taking a nap, he'll lounge on the couch and read an entire Magic Tree House chapter book, or classify his little animals into mammal/fish/amphibian/reptile/bird groups. I'm not going to stop him from doing that, because I see his joy in learning--something that jives with Waldorf texts.

One of our mottos around here is, let him learn how to learn.

Tara
tarasam is offline  
#38 of 51 Old 07-05-2003, 03:50 PM
 
barbara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 2,044
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
It's more about understanding the underlying person.
Exactly! So listen to, and observe your child and you will understand! No amount of testing will help you to understand your child as well as spending time with them will.
barbara is offline  
#39 of 51 Old 07-06-2003, 12:09 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,607
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 42 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by tarasam
snip


My point is that if you are homeschooling, a Waldorf-ish approach doesn't need to be hugely at odds with gifted children. You can still employ gentle learning, imagination, practical skills, etc., without holding them back from things they are interested in at an early age.

Tara
This is my first post on these forums. Hope I'm doing it right :. I had to respond because I too am drawn to Waldorfish ideas and I am also unschooling a very bright kid (or two or three). My eldest has the appearance of the "classically gifted child". She's now 9, was reading novels like Narnia at 4 and 5, was teaching herself how to add and subtract with negative numbers at 5, etc.. She's intensely perfectionistic, obsessive and orderly in some things, yet incredibly stubborn and volatile and often driven by whims.

I was drawn to a gentle arts-and-creativity focused unschooling approach because I figured the academics would look after themselves and I wanted to use my energy to encourage the creativity. Rather than spending my time teaching her math at age 4, I spent it teaching her the violin. Rather than spending money on a language arts curriculum at age 6, I spent it on quality art materials. As time has gone on I've given her access to some math workbooks, but I've left it up to her whether she uses them.

This approach seems to have left her pretty well-balanced, with much more creative risk-taking facility than she had when she was younger. She recently did some achievement testing (just for fun, as part of a homeschooling study we're involved in) and although she might have been farther ahead if we'd pushed the curriculum on her, she scored off the charts on the 99th percentile in everything anyway. So yes, the academics are definitely looking after themselves just fine. What's happened, though is that she's turned a lot of her obsessive intellectual power and energy towards physical and creative skills: she's a very advanced violinist and pianist, a competent gymnast and figure skater, and she still loves imaginative play, sandbox play, getting messy with paint and clay, drop-spinning, knitting and weaving.

Strict adherence to any "method" like Waldorf would never have worked for us because of her asynchronicity. When she lost her first baby tooth (the point at which Steiner would have said she was ready to start learning to read) she'd been devouring fantasy novels for up to 6 hours a day for two years already and it would have seemed contrived and almost cruel to not nurture this interest and utilize it as a source of inspiration in other areas. But unschooling in an arts-enriched environment (a sort of "unmethod" the way we do it) has allowed her to challenge herself intellectually while not becoming a one-sided geek .

An added bonus is that she seems blissfully unaware of grade-levels and achievement milestones. Her closest friend still isn't reading fluently and she doesn't think that's unusual or cause for pity. She'd never think of others in terms of "smarter" or "better" or "dumber" or anything of the sort. When her achievement test results came back she wasn't the slightest bit interested what they were. She has none of the intellectual snobbery I grew up with as a "gifted" child in the school system.

Miranda

Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#40 of 51 Old 07-06-2003, 02:39 PM
 
NoHiddenFees's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,064
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
So listen to, and observe your child and you will understand! No amount of testing will help you to understand your child as well as spending time with them will.
No sane person would disagree. However, if someone chooses to have their child tested, that doesn't mean they must stop listening to them. Testing is a tool that I believe can be appropriate in certain circumstances (I've already stated what I would consider appropriate for our family). The most common objections I've seen to testing are, IMHO, secondary to testing.

A parent need not tell a child test results. A parent need not define a child by test results. A parent need not compare their child to other children. A parent need not decide what the child's future should hold because of test results. However, children have been labeled, compared with others and have had unrealistic and restrictive expectations placed on them without having been tested. Either way you've got no guarantees. I think the most important questions that one should ask if considering testing is, "why?" and, "what does it mean?"

I have the confidence that if the circumstances in which we'd have dd tested arise, that we can have it done without damaging her or us. The results may or may not prove useful.
NoHiddenFees is offline  
#41 of 51 Old 07-13-2003, 06:05 PM
 
Ravin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Atenveldt
Posts: 5,928
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Okay, this post is really long, so I'm going to summarize it for those who don't want to read the whole thing:
In the public school system, I was labeled gifted and because of it my strengths were played to and several deficiencies in my education were overlooked. My sisters were labeled learning disabled and because of it their strengths were often overlooked and not encouraged. If you recognize the strengths and problem areas your child has, and encourage them to develop in the areas in which they are talented while helping them learn to compensate for and work through difficulties, you don't need to label them anything. This is a major reason I want to homeschool my children. Despite being strongly involved/aware of what was going on at school, and advocating for us as much as possible, my parents worked within the system and it cost my sisters and I both in terms of our self-esteem, and, especially for my sisters, in terms of love of learning.


I think testing for your own purposes in knowing where to start with your child is a very different proposition from the system in schools--especially public schools--of labeling children as "gifted' or "learning disabled' or whatever. I attended kindergarten twice because they didn't feel I was socially ready for first grade, then I was endowed with the 'gifted' label in first grade and it was recognized that my disruptive classroom behavior was because I was bored out of my mind. I was put in a GT program. In the first school district where I attended school, this was two hours twice a week, where we did research reports in 2nd grade on topics that interested us, studied Spanish, and got to play on one of the only PC's in the school (this was in the early 80s). We moved from Idaho to TX, and the GT program there was a joke, with one teacher stretched between seven schools, we had an hour a week and mostly spent it playing logic puzzles or sitting around chitchatting.

To deal with my boredom, my parents found Saturday morning enrichment activities for me at the local university, and in 5th grade took me out of PS and put me in a self-paced private school. I skipped 8th grade because of it and went back to public high school. I then had to suffer the social stigma of simultaneously being told to go back to jr. high "where I belonged" and (by the same students often as not) constantly being asked to let others copy my homework.

I started making plans to graduate early, then discovered a program which allowed my escape my jr year, a state-funded program that put gifted high school students in college full time for the last two years of high school. I benefited from peers capable of intelligent conversation on my level and made many friends of college age and bloomed socially that year, but despite good SAT scores I lacked some of the key tools for success in college: critical thinking skills and study skills. The former I wasn't exposed to until back in regular high school my senior year, and then just barely because I had one good teacher for American Government who believed in equipping students to see through propaganda. The latter I didn't acquire until I joined the Navy and attended Nuclear Power School. The military recognized that the kids they recruited for the nuclear program were bright but often hadn't been exposed to rigorous academics so the first thing they taught us was how to study so that we could get through the notoriously difficult program (basically they crammed the technical aspects of an engineering degree into our heads in the space of a year). My attempt at college at 16 was doomed to fail because I'd never had to study in my life until I got there, and faced with real academic challenges and large volumes of new knowledge at a college pace I was completely unprepared.

My sisters, on the other hand, were labeled "learning disabled" very early on. They were held back in first grade together even though only one really neede it, and when the school threatened to hold them back again (rather than address the specific remedial areas one of them had) my parents put them in the same self-paced school I was in. There one of them caught back up, and when for financial reasons they had to go back to public school, they were in separate grades--at least until the end of the year, when the school decided the one who'd caught back up needed to repeat again.

They fortunately had better remedial/resource programs in the Jr. High with a special ed teacher who helped them with extra time before school so that they were able to keep up through junior high. In high school, one of my sisters wasn't permitted to take art beyond two years even though she was quite talented in this area because 3rd and 4th year art were considered "honors" subjects and she was in resource English and therefore not allowed to take honors program courses. Needless to say, this did nothing for her self-esteem or belief that she had any talent or ability to learn. They made her feel stupid, and she's still dealing with those issues. Luckily, she hasn't let it stop her from developing her art. The other sister, also in "resource" English, expresses herself creatively by writing poetry. She' s still a lousy speller, but her poetry is beautiful and moving.

breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!

Ravin is offline  
#42 of 51 Old 07-13-2003, 07:37 PM
 
JonasGrumby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gifted is indeed a loaded term, and just as much for the parents (in terms of affecting the way they behave) as the kid who is so labeled. In any case...as I tell my wife, every kid is born with at least a few talents - it's what keeps us from eating our young.
JonasGrumby is offline  
#43 of 51 Old 07-19-2003, 08:48 PM
 
elfinbaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,155
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a hot topic! Here's my .02 cents as briefly as possible. DS is a young five, has been operating out of his age range since birth practically, lacks some maturity, has been in a free flowing hippie preschool for 2 yrs. and will start 1/2 day K there this fall. I spoke with an educational counselor when he was 2 because I was driving myself crazy trying to decide if I should "do" something with him. After the meeting and doing some reading I decided to do nothing. It doesn't matter to me if he's "gifted" or not. I care more if he turns out to be a kind, loving person. After all, there are some real idiots in this world who are deemed "successful."

In school he is learning the dynamics of relationship which he is lacking. His teachers know what he is capable of but everything is child led there. I don't have plans to have him tested because testing means nothing to me and I'm not sure if they could get him to sit still long enough!

We free flow at home. He chooses books he's interested in to read about from the library, makes huge messes in the kitchen "experimenting", feels very free to costume himself and go to the store as his "dark" alter ego, and basically has the freedom to spend his time however he sees fit. In my experience, if your child has something extra going on, you can't hold him back. You can't stop the borage of questions, you can't stop him learning to read, write, do math, etc., you just flat out can't stop them from learning. They will do it one way or another. They will lead you and show you what they need/want to fulfill their ravenous appetite. That's why I don't worry about it. He's taught himself enough to take some time off between now and the 3rd grade so why would I interfere with whatever system he has been given to absorb the world around him? My biggest worry is that someone else will so I chose his school carefully.

I think the greatest thing you can do for the kids with "extra" is leave them alone. Provide open ended materials like legos, blocks, knex, books of interest, clay, any arts and craft materials, puzzles, musical instruments, costumes, etc. Things that let them really take off. Some kids will choose more specific things that they are interested in like writing or map reading. If they do, provide the necessary materials. All in all, my plan is to let him lead the way.
elfinbaby is offline  
#44 of 51 Old 07-21-2003, 01:39 AM
 
mom at home's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Idaho
Posts: 667
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by elfinbaby
What a hot topic! Here's my .02 cents as briefly as possible. DS is a young five, has been operating out of his age range since birth practically, lacks some maturity, has been in a free flowing hippie preschool for 2 yrs. and will start 1/2 day K there this fall. I spoke with an educational counselor when he was 2 because I was driving myself crazy trying to decide if I should "do" something with him. After the meeting and doing some reading I decided to do nothing. It doesn't matter to me if he's "gifted" or not. I care more if he turns out to be a kind, loving person. After all, there are some real idiots in this world who are deemed "successful."

In school he is learning the dynamics of relationship which he is lacking. His teachers know what he is capable of but everything is child led there. I don't have plans to have him tested because testing means nothing to me and I'm not sure if they could get him to sit still long enough!

We free flow at home. He chooses books he's interested in to read about from the library, makes huge messes in the kitchen "experimenting", feels very free to costume himself and go to the store as his "dark" alter ego, and basically has the freedom to spend his time however he sees fit. In my experience, if your child has something extra going on, you can't hold him back. You can't stop the borage of questions, you can't stop him learning to read, write, do math, etc., you just flat out can't stop them from learning. They will do it one way or another. They will lead you and show you what they need/want to fulfill their ravenous appetite. That's why I don't worry about it. He's taught himself enough to take some time off between now and the 3rd grade so why would I interfere with whatever system he has been given to absorb the world around him? My biggest worry is that someone else will so I chose his school carefully.

I think the greatest thing you can do for the kids with "extra" is leave them alone. Provide open ended materials like legos, blocks, knex, books of interest, clay, any arts and craft materials, puzzles, musical instruments, costumes, etc. Things that let them really take off. Some kids will choose more specific things that they are interested in like writing or map reading. If they do, provide the necessary materials. All in all, my plan is to let him lead the way.
ITA. We approach things this way with my dd. I did end up agreeing to let her get tested at school because it enabled her to participate in a really neat program a half day per week. Otherwise, she has free reign at home to explore whatever she is interested in. It's wierd, because she goes to school because she wants to but I'm an unschooler at heart and that is how our homelife is.
mom at home is offline  
#45 of 51 Old 07-21-2003, 01:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
Mattsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: So. Cal.
Posts: 77
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey mom at home, thats me, a homeschooler at heart!! My son is in preschool and is going to kindergarten but I truely feel like I'm his teacher and will teach him everything he needs to know. He *probably* won't go any farther in school unless he absolutely begs me but I feel pretty strong that I want to hs him, despite negative attitude from my family.

I'm ready and waiting for him to say the word and he's back at home with me! Unfortunetly he keeps asking to let him go to preschool 5 days a week instead of 3 Its not going to be an easy road, thats for sure.

Thanks
Mattsmom is offline  
#46 of 51 Old 07-21-2003, 01:52 AM
 
mom at home's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Idaho
Posts: 667
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ravin
[B]Okay, this post is really long, so I'm going to summarize it for those who don't want to read the whole thing:
In the public school system, I was labeled gifted and because of it my strengths were played to and several deficiencies in my education were overlooked. My sisters were labeled learning disabled and because of it their strengths were often overlooked and not encouraged. If you recognize the strengths and problem areas your child has, and encourage them to develop in the areas in which they are talented while helping them learn to compensate for and work through difficulties, you don't need to label them anything. This is a major reason I want to homeschool my children. Despite being strongly involved/aware of what was going on at school, and advocating for us as much as possible, my parents worked within the system and it cost my sisters and I both in terms of our self-esteem, and, especially for my sisters, in terms of love of learning.

This is what bothers me about the approach the schools take and why I wish my dd wanted to homeschool. My dd has been put in the GT program and the neighbor boy who has had trouble learning to read but has an incredible mind has been put in special ed because of the reading. It infuriates me because of the label it puts on the child and all because some things may be more challenging for them to learn. All the kids should have the right to the more interesting projects they do in the GT program, and, in fact, it may be more important for the kids who are struggling academically. Basically, the system stinks and if there are few school choices as there are in the small town I live in you are stuck with their approach. I so wish my dd wanted to homeschool, but she really craves the social stuff and wants to go to school so I'm not going to force her to hs.
mom at home is offline  
#47 of 51 Old 07-21-2003, 11:50 AM
 
Margarinva's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ds recently took a test which we thought was only an achievement sp? test. However, the test also included an IQ test. I have to say, "Don't do it!" LOL My son is techinically "gifted" according to the result from the company. I find I , inside, get angry when he struggles from lack of desire to do something. I think...well, gosh you're smart so this Should be easy, what's the problem? (ok, I don't say this...it's just a passing thought LOL). Then, other times I wonder why his IQ wasn't 180 instead of the very wonderful number it was. Was it too much sugar cereal? LOL

WHO CARES! IMO, Just teach your kids where and how they need to be taught and love them! The *number*, whatever it is, causes confusion and frustration


Margar
Margarinva is offline  
#48 of 51 Old 08-26-2003, 02:32 PM
 
tiffani's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 3,886
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a question for those of you who want to HS but whose kids don't want to....
I can understand this if your child is doing well in school, emotionally as well as intelectually, and it's a "great" school, and their peer group seems to treat each other well and everything is going just right. BUT, if your child is only in preschool or kinder, don't you feel like it's YOUR decision whether or not to HS? There are lots of things our kids *want* to do, perhaps because they see everyone else doing it, or they crave one aspect of it, but we are the ones who are responsible to make the decisions based on ALL the information. No matter how gifted our children are, our years of wisdom DO make us better able to see the big picture. I would think that once a kid "goes to school" it would be very hard to take them out without some struggle, unless they hate it, and even then they'll feel different from everyone else.
I struggled with the decision to put my daughter in a *great* preschool near our home, to help her overcome her shyness--she also expressed an interest, and when she was 3, would frequently ask to go to school, and complained that I "never let her go to kindergarten." However, when I watched the kids in this preschool, and heard stories about neighbor's kids in the local elem. school, (also deemed a "great" school) then compared these to the lives of the HS families I know, the choice seemed obvious, and I often wonder why everyone doesn't HS.
In a nutshell, it's pretty easy to help a child realize that HS'ing is a better choice if they've never been to school, but once that "peer dependency" overrides their dependency on you, they will care more about their peer group and often want to stay in school even if it isn't in their best interests. I just feel that as parents, it's our job to make the big decisions, and HS vs. school is a huge one that affects their whole being, not just their education.

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

tiffani is offline  
#49 of 51 Old 08-28-2003, 10:05 AM
 
Teresa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Maryland
Posts: 591
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hmmn. . .
Well, since this is a Learning at Home thread, I have to say that I don't know and I don't care!
At home, your child has the freedom to learn unfettered by the obnoxious 'labels' and 'tracking' imposed by schools.
(I can say that as a former 'TAG' child.)

If my children (or yours) were in 'the system' it would be another matter altogether!

At home you can just continue to nourish strengths and build on weaknesses as you have done since birth!
Teresa is offline  
#50 of 51 Old 08-28-2003, 10:16 AM
 
Teresa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Maryland
Posts: 591
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Good for you, Miranda!
What a great mom!

And Tiffani, you might want to check out "Better Late Than Early" (blanking out right now on the authors). Controversial in some circles, but still very thought-provoking.

Teresa
Teresa is offline  
#51 of 51 Old 08-30-2003, 02:53 AM
 
barbara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 2,044
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Better Late than Early is by Dr. Raymond and Dorthy Moore, considered by some to be the Father (and mother) of the modern homeschooling movement, along with John Holt.

I agree, tiffani, that as a parent I can make some decisions for my child better than the child can. Such as not playing in the street, not going to the park alone after dark, not climbing out the second floor window onto the roof, and not going to an institutionalized school just because the child may want to be with friends or ride the school bus.

There are a lot of things that we have to protect our children from and IMO, the negative effects of school is just one of them.
barbara is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off