"most homeschooled kids are kinda weird" - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-29-2013, 06:01 PM
 
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I wrote about this on my blog recently:
Quote:
When I was a teenager I met a homeschooling family that was the embodiment of all the negative home education stereotypes. They were religious. The mom wore denim jumpers. The daughters were painfully shy, quiet, and very soft spoken. One preferred to wear long Little House on the Prairie style dresses, the other wore mom-jeans and t-shirts featuring kittens and teddy bears. Glasses, braces, acne....the whole nine yards. They were the family that would confirm everything for a home education critic on sight....

Here's the catch: THIS WAS THEIR FIRST YEAR HOMESCHOOLING!

You can read the rest here: http://makedoplay.blogspot.com/2013/09/homeschooling-chicken-egg.html

Seriously, there are weird kids in school and out of school. Go to an anime convention and tell me you don't see a TON of weird people....and I can promise you the vast majority went to public school. Sometimes those kids get pulled out of school because they are unhappy and end up being homeschooled....homeschooling has very little to do with how a person IS.

Also, weird is in the eye of the beholder. I am weird in the fact that I question authority and like geeky stuff. It seems normal to ME...but I'm not everyone.

I am GLAD my kids are "weird" if that's what people want to label them. They're interesting and like a lot of stuff that most other kids their ages don't care about....and they aren't restricted to liking what is "normal" or "typical" for their gender.
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Old 09-29-2013, 06:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post

The bigger kids took an interest in the little ones. One big kid bent down and gave my child a prolonged explanation about hospital helicopters when she pointed to one in the sky. For once nobody questioned or seemed overly concerned about what gender my short haired girl is. And mine was the only kid in a TV character shirt.

THIS!!! The older kids are actually NICE to the younger kids and try to HELP them. Recently at the park a 10-year-old boy tried to help my 2-year-old get into a swing. It was very sweet!

A 7-year-old at gymnastics was soooo sweet to my daughter who is 5. Introduced herself and didn't act like she was better than her because she was older.

Nobody gives my daughter a hard time about liking superheros or my son a hard time for having shiny shoes.
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Old 10-03-2013, 03:25 PM
 
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I knew I wanted to homeschool long before I even considered actually becoming a parent. I begged my parents to homeschool me. I am not sure as to my reasons as a child, but the love of HS was heavily reinforced when I found that all my favorite adult friends were homeschooled. They were, no doubt, weird to some people. But to me, they were the most charismatic, creative, outgoing, empathetic, compassionate, and self aware humans I'd ever known. They were not all from the same group of homeschoolers, either, so I know they weren't just an isolated enigma. Weird enigmas they are, and I feel the world is better for them being themselves. My kids are "homeschooled" at only 5 and 2, but I already notice all those qualities in them. It can't be just coincidence, right?

I love that my kids are very comfortable around most adults, but selectively so. They aren't just chatting with every stranger, but if I introduce them to a friend or coworker, they are instantly happy to engage those people. They get their social cues organically and without power structures to make them feel overwhelmed or under appreciated.

They are only socially awkward in that their playground peers often have no idea how to respond to their outgoing, friendly and forward nature. Playground snobs who are already imprinted with clique mentality are real heartbreakers, and almost exclusively attend school. Not that all school kids are that way, of course. It's just really sad to see some kids so blatantly ignore my son's attempt to play with them. greensad.gif
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Old 10-11-2013, 09:47 AM
 
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it all depends on your definition of weird.  in our society, normal means having the right car, phone, designer sweat-shop clothes, etc.  i think that is weird.  i attended a private school and despite rigorous academic, i was still trapped in the mindless assimilation mill of traditional schooling.  it's taken me until now, in my mid-30's to even attempt to figure out who i really am.  kudos to all who are giving their kids the freedom to be themselves despite making other uncomfortable, hoping to do the same for my boys!


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Old 10-24-2013, 01:28 PM
 
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My daughter is quite social, and seemed to be well-liked in preschool (she's 9 now). She never had trouble making friends at ballet or whatever else we did, and homeschooling didn't make her weird. However, she finds friends mostly in an older age group, and the girls her age now, where we live, seem like "little girls" to her...she's not ageist to them the way school trains people to be (you can't play with us because you're in the next grade lower) but for whatever reason, she finds emotional and intellectual peers, 3 to 6 years older. Homeschooling allows this to happen (and no, her older friends are not all homeschoolers...the girl next door is 3 years older, and goes to school).

 

My daughter loves working for long periods on her own projects, but she craves the company of her friends periodically. She is choosy though, and really doesn't hang out with the girls her age on our block, because in her words, she just can't have a good conversation with them. They're too young. Even though they are the same age.

 

So if she went to school, unless we could somehow wrangle the miracle of having her placed 2 grades ahead (which from what I hear, is something schools just will not do), she'd be awfully lonely and bored.

 

Also, after being just as keen to fit in and be like everyone else, as other girls, when she was 5-7, now at 9, she has her own mind, and isn't willing to put up with wearing jeans, or listening to Taylor Swift, and sees fads as a sort of silliness that some people never outgrow, but should. She likes classical, jazz, and some techno/ambient, dresses subtly and elegantly given the choice, and likes art museums and coffeehouses, and inspiring conversations.

 

So, I guess on second thought, she is weird, but only because she's so different from other girls her age.


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Old 11-04-2013, 06:12 AM
 
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I've been teaching my daughter who is four at home, nothing standardized, just using things I like from different methods such as Waldorf, Reggio, Montessori, etc. (I take what I like, and leave what I don't like.:wink) Anyways, next year she will be starting kindergarten and I've been telling people that I plan to homeschool. I was shocked at the negative response actually! My one friend actually said "But homeschooled kids are so weird." I would rather make sure my daughter has time to come into her own in the early years, and not have to deal with just conforming because of peer pressure. I would rather her be weird and proud of it! I also pointed out that the reason children go to school is to get an education which I feel my daughter would stagnate in public school. As far as being socially weird, I feel like generally most teachers don't get involved if a student struggles socially, they do not teach the children much social skills, and only intervene when it crosses a line such as bullying. I just know I'm happy and proud of how she has been progressing so far, and want to keep it up!

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Old 12-28-2013, 10:15 PM
 
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Ok, but.

 

I have finally found the group of people who call themselves "homeschoolers" but really aren't doing much with their kids.  It's a painful thing to watch.  We have tried to play games when we have our kids together, but their kids can't read well enough (at 11+) to play.  Their younger elementary kids can't sit through a 3 minute explanation because they aren't used to being engaged.  The younger ones are the worst selfish toy grabbers I've seen.

 

Then, I took my kids to an orchard one day, and accidentally happened to go on field trip day.  Oops.  It was SO crowded.  And you know what?  All those public schooled kids were so polite, and helpful.  The listened when I had something to say.  No one pushed or shoved or took stuff.  My kids had fun.

 

So, I learned why people snear when you say "homeschooled".  Those people really are out there.

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Old 12-28-2013, 10:47 PM
 
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I don't necessarily think homeschool kids are weird but they usually can be themselves because they don't have to submit to peer pressure and ao called social norms. I think it's refreshing to meet people who are comfortable with themselves. I had a class with a super close kind of odd brother and sister who were homeschooled. They had terrible fashion sense and the guy wore a Fanny pack lol both were just great and im glad I was sitting by them because they were the most interesting people in class

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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Old 12-30-2013, 11:16 AM
 
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We are a pretty mainstream, social family and not too conservative. My husband, now 35 years old, was home schooled.  I would consider him "different" but not weird.  He is different because he has never had a self-esteem problem, never felt pressure to be like others, and has natural self confidence.  After doing extremely well in college and grad school, he moved up quickly through the ranks and now is a State Director for a certain department.  He is well-liked by his staff because he is fair, considerate, listens, is practical, ABLE, competent and confident in his decisions and doesn't feel that he has to 'fit in' when it comes to doing the right thing for his staff.  His "classmates" during his homeschooling days have also met similar success in what they are doing now.   In addition, he is a responsible, honest, fun and devoted father to his children and to me. He is, in every sense of the word, a MAN.   I believe that being home schooled has made him into the man that he is.  Most women can find something "weird" about their husbands... :)  Regardless of how "weird" they are as home schoolers or public school students, they will all grow up to be adults.  And at that time, they will use all of the OTHER skills and values that you or the schools taught them and hopefully THAT is what will make them a truly unique ("weird") and valuable person.  I would rather have a MAN than a guy who doesn't really know who he is and tries to fit in with the Jones's all of the time.  I value my husband's schooling and hope to be successful in raising our children to be confident, competent adults like he has become.

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Old 12-31-2013, 09:31 PM
 
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I am "weird" I suppose (statistically anyway) but probably in ways most parents might approve of. Let's see here. I am in my mid-thirties and have only been married once, for 13 years and am very happy (cliche I know but it's true). I have two master's degrees. I have taught business strategy at a university. I have held several "good" jobs but five years ago I started a business for a few hundred dollars and grown it to a successful venture with 25 employees. I was just contracted write a book on why woman (and in particular mom's) should start their own businesses. I am reasonably social and outgoing. I have lots of friends although I prefer to have a few very good friends rather than hundreds of Facebook friends or the like.

 

Oh, and I was home schooled. All 12 years.

 

There are in truth many very legitimate reasons to debate the veracity of homeschooling for a specific child and family. Some parents do a great job, some do a truly terrible job. Some kids are better suited for it than others. But "most home schooled kids are weird" shows a lack general understanding on the topic.


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