What does your child's pedi think about you homeschooling? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-12-2007, 11:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday my ds had his 4-yr. checkup with his pedi. She asked me about preschool and kindergarten and I told her I'll be homeschooling him. I expected her to be completely supportive, but instead I got this feeling that she's not too thrilled about it. It wasn't anything specific she said, but it was just this vibe I got. I know it doesn't really matter what she thinks, but we've had her since he was born and had an excellent relationship with her up until this point.

Anyway, I'm just curious what all your pedis think about homeschooling??

TIA!

Sara Mama to DS (6) and DS (4)
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Old 06-12-2007, 11:51 AM
 
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My pediatrition knows it is none of his business

he knows we homeschool but only because he wanted to know if we needed him to write a medical exemption for my oldest daughters lack of vaccination. he was happy not to have to mess with the exemption.

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Old 06-12-2007, 12:01 PM
 
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IME, I think it does make them feel as if they need to watch you more closely & question your kids more. Almost like they feel like they're the only "official" people watching out for your kid.

It really : me, but enough to try to hunt down a ped who will claim to not have a problem with it.

I figure it's kind of like bfing...most peds insist that it is best for babies, yada yada yada, but then every time that you go there they want to know how many ounces you're feeding your dc. (Do they think that I've got a high-tech digital scale @ home that I use to weigh dc before & after feedings???) And when you show up with a nursing toddler.... well, let's just say I've gotten more than one hairy eyeball! :
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Old 06-12-2007, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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IME, I think it does make them feel as if they need to watch you more closely & question your kids more. Almost like they feel like they're the only "official" people watching out for your kid
Exactly!! She asked me what we were doing, what his skills were, etc. : I'm sure she wouldn't have asked if he was in a public preschool. I can only imagine how bad it'll be when he's older.

Sara Mama to DS (6) and DS (4)
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Old 06-12-2007, 12:12 PM
 
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My sons ped looked at me like I had lost my mind.
This was similar to her look without so much head shaking.



I just said as she started that how excited we were to be able to watch our son learn and that he is just loving being able to go to so many different places.
I just try to stay positive when people are like that, kill them with kindness.
Seems to work for me!
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Old 06-12-2007, 12:23 PM
 
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I think it does make them feel as if they need to watch you more closely & question your kids more. Almost like they feel like they're the only "official" people watching out for your kid.
This is exactly why we don't have a pediatrician. That's how they're trained to think. Well, also we don't do well-child checks and don't vaccinate, and pediatric dogma tends not to be in line with our other parenting choices either, so really there's no point anyway.

Our family doctor is really great with all of that, but even so I felt a little trepidation about telling her that we homeschool. Turns out I needn't have worried -- she's a homeschooler herself!
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Old 06-12-2007, 12:45 PM
 
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Ours seems to view it as just another educational option. She did a vision test for ds last year, "since he won't be doing it in school," which was fine with me.

Though with how many other "alternative" choices she's been there for us making (birth centers, skipping newborn stuff like eye goop, extended nursing, cloth diapering, being vegan...) I guess she wasn't suprised when we started homeschooling.

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Old 06-12-2007, 01:28 PM
 
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Am I the only one? Our family physician and his wife unschoool their 3 children and are really open and forthcoming with sharing that with everyone. So, needless to say, if that is the choice we make, he is all for it!
I live in a really small town on the border of VT/NH. I actually know another doctor family that homeschool nearby too.
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Old 06-12-2007, 01:35 PM
 
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We use a family practice physician. Ds has only been to the doc a few times (he's 8 1/2 years old). I am seeing the doc for my thyroid control.

The doc thinks it is GREAT that we are homeschooling. He does not ask ds any "educational" questions other than what is his favorite subject or general chit-chat type stuff. Same with the staff. They like the idea of a child advancing at their own individual pace and not having to conform to the crowd.

The whole office is very supportive of hs AND our non-vaxxing (they don't even do vaccinations in his practice, you have to ask for them and he'll write you an RX to be taken to the hospital, clinic or health department!).

He was very supportive of extended breastfeeding (he said, "It makes healthy children and healthy breasts!"), too.

This doctor is so wonderful (he'll even do house-calls, if needed!), we just LOVE him.

We are very fortunate!
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Old 06-12-2007, 01:36 PM
 
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i only partially vax my children (by complete choice) and i homeschool....so you can imagine what a big hit i am with my pediatrician. i don't go unless i have too.

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Old 06-12-2007, 02:01 PM
 
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I think he is befuddled.....He and I went to the same graduate school and have known each other for a long time. I think it just simply confuses him why I would homeschool. He keeps asking how long I am planning on homeschooling the kids (whatever).
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Old 06-12-2007, 02:28 PM
 
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Mine seemed a little taken aback the first time it came up, but now she's fine with it. She asked if my dd was basically at grade level (wondering about learning problems, I think), and since she is, that was the end of the discussion, and she hasn't said a word about it since.

There are a fair number of homeschoolers around here, and only one pediatrician in town, so I'm guessing she deals with a lot of us!

ZM
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Old 06-12-2007, 02:39 PM
 
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Mine seemed a little taken aback the first time it came up,
We've had the experience of people asking surprised, or being confused what to say next. To some people, it is just sort of "out there."

I get fewer odd comments as my kids get older, though, than I did when they were young. I think some people are worried about how young kids they will learn the things they are supposed to, but as kids get older it is more obvious that they are turning out just fine.

For the most part, professional offices like dealing with homeschoolers because our schedules are more flexible!

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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Old 06-12-2007, 03:25 PM
 
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We've had the experience of people asking surprised, or being confused what to say next. To some people, it is just sort of "out there."
Yeah. I eventually figured out that the response I got to announcing we were homeschooling was mostly because I went off the script of how they expected the conversation to go, and so they had to stop and think for a second.

ZM
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Old 06-12-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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Old 06-12-2007, 04:28 PM
 
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I've only been HSing since January, so I haven't even brought my kids in for a checkup since starting HSing. They're due for another checkup soon though.

Like EBF and cosleeping, I don't see how it's any of their business anyway. I certainly won't volunteer any information, but I won't lie if I'm asked. Although at this point, I imagine she'd ask DD directly, rather than asking me.

If I had to deal with any school vaccine exemptions, I would go the religious exemption route and not involve the ped with that at all. I'm not about to skip annual checkups because I feel I need the paper trail in case CPS gets called again.

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Old 06-12-2007, 04:39 PM
 
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We have a family doc rather than a ped, but I think it's just one more layer of hippie freakishness to her. She deals.

Our optometrist, however, fully approves.

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Old 06-12-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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I take my kids to a pediatric nurse practioner in a family practice, and she actually asked me if I homeschooled before I did...she said she just got that vibe (in a good way). She seems to value our choices.

One of the other drs there, a FP, seemed a bit surprised, but not shocked or disapproving. I think pps are right about drs worrying there isn't any other 'professional' in the family's life, they are the only ones who might detect delays, medical issues, abuse, etc.

Other than that, I'd ask when they started covering educational choices in med school :
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:00 PM
 
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hmmm, dunno. Haven't been in quite a while. Not sure it would ever come up.

I imagine he would be okay with the choice, since his response to our not vaxing was pretty much, "Oh, sure, I understand your concerns."

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Old 06-12-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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I think she thinks that it's something that only unusual parents can pull off.

dm
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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We have a family doctor and he only cares if limbs are falling off or blood is spurting everywhere.
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by grahamsmom98 View Post
The doc thinks it is GREAT that we are homeschooling. . . . The whole office is very supportive of hs AND our non-vaxxing (they don't even do vaccinations in his practice, you have to ask for them and he'll write you an RX to be taken to the hospital, clinic or health department!). . . . He was very supportive of extended breastfeeding (he said, "It makes healthy children and healthy breasts!"), too.
That is so fabulous grahamsmom98! So sad that it is the rarity.

I love my doc too. She is a family practicioner too, and the "backup" physician of record for my midwife (one of the only homebirthing midwives in the area). She doesn't keep any pharmaceutical samples in her office at all because she doesn't want to deal with having to meet rx requirements! She has homeopathic books on her bookshelf. She has a lot of local patients who don't vaccinate and didn't blink an eye about our homeschooling... even knows I don't take my kids to the doc unless they actually need it, no well-child checkups, etc. I love not being questioned and harassed and having to explain myself. She even recommended herbal remedies for my asthma for when it is not accute, to keep on top of it.
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Old 06-12-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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Our old ped was okay with homeschooling, but unschooling was something he just could not understand. He was fond of asking us how school was going even though he knew we didn't do it or go. One of us would usually remind him that we didn't go to school. He'd say "I know, but how are your studies?" Sigh. He once asked Ds how long it had been since he read a book. Ds said he'd been into his video game and he said "Yes well that's not school though is it?" : Very frustating.

It hasn't come up with our new ped, but I do believe it's our charts so I am sure she knows or will know soon.

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Old 06-12-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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I feel very fortunate that we go to a family Dr that is very supportive of homeschooling. He has a lot of homeschoolers as patients, and is hightly recommended in the homeschooling community in Raleigh.

He said he figures homeschoolers are often more open to alternative meds and really researching health issues - and that is an emphasis in his practice.
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Old 06-12-2007, 06:57 PM
 
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*When* my dd was in school and having problems, the first thing they wanted us to do was have her get a physical to rule out the obvious stuff...so I had to pick out a ped. from the phone book basically (not knowing anyone as we were new here) and OH MY...this guy wanted us to medicate her right away and we didn't of course....but months later when she had a wart...she got this jerk again (she got the nicer one the first few times) and Dr. Jerk asked me about the meds and I said we didn't go that route and we're homeschooling now..he lost it! He raised his voice at me saying NOBODY EVER SAID HOMESCHOOLING WAS A GOOD IDEA! And compared ADHD to DIABETES and how I was somehow depriving my DD because of my decisions! He said all this stuff IN FRONT of my dd!! I got her out of there so quick..and yea..I'm still thinking I need to write a letter to the AMA for his SO UNprofessional like behavior.

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Old 06-12-2007, 08:22 PM
 
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Ours is supportive. Glad that they aren't around all the kids in preschool and getting sick all the time. She's also very supportive of selective/no vaxing so we're happy.
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Old 06-12-2007, 09:32 PM
 
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Our peed hasn't said much other than pushing us to go to speech therapy through the school system. Our dentist on the other hand stated that our son would talk more clearly if he went to school. You should have seen the look of shock on her face when he didn't know who Barney was. She even said, "There's nothing wrong with Barney." I jsut said he doesn't watch much tv.

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Old 06-13-2007, 01:43 PM
 
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I'm sorry that your ped's reaction was not what you wanted. That can be really hard. Our ped has been nothing but okay with this. I don't think she ever thought twice about my answer. No questions about dev stuff or anything. It may have been because last year he read all the letters in her office for her.
Michele
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Old 06-13-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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I haven't told him yet. I feel completely sure about my choice but I dread telling him....a shortcoming on my part I guess.
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Old 06-14-2007, 12:38 AM
 
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Our pediatrician, who is our family doctor as well, is a Naturopath. We just started going to her as our last one moved out of state. Homeschooling as not come up, but I do not suspect it will be an issue or area of concern for her.
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