What do you do? I don't want to be impolite but am thinking about saying, "I'm sorry those are personal questions." whenever they are specific to my son but let them know I would be happy to answer general questions about homeschooling. I know I am being touchy but I feel like I have to justify myself enough to family members who worry about "poor Taylor who can't go to school like other kids" so why should I have to do it with a total stranger who doesn't know ds much less care about him.
I think any time you choose an 'alternative' lifestyle, some people are going to be uncomfortable with it and ask a lot of pointed questions. it's like raising your kids as vegetarians (but how do they get enough protein? i wouldn't want to deny my children the pleasure of eating meat. etc) or without barbies or gun toys (your child really seem to want a barbie - how can you deny that? children will turn anything into a gun - do you stop them from playing if they pretend something else is a gun? etc)
it's annoying. but we live in a highly conformist culture (one of the reasons THIS mom is hsing) and these comments are ways of coaxing us back into the mainstream. it may also be a defense mechanism - your hsing choice suggests there is something wrong with public schooling, and the questioner may be trying to avoid this suggestion by instead trying to figure out if there is something wrong with you. i confess i often find myself saying bland things like "i'm sure the schools here are fine, i just think hsing is a lot of fun" my situation gets even more uncomfortable, because sometimes dd (who is 5) will say (in front of the questioners) "mom, can i please go to school next year?" and I really don't feel like embarking on the explanation right then and there..........
Does he get lonely?
Only on the days I keep him locked in the closet.
why is he not in school?
Because school is a waste of time, and not very educational.
Because schools remind me of prisons, and just don't want my kids locked up when they haven't done anything wrong.
Aren't you worried about his socialization?
Yes, that's why I homeschool.
Socialization means to adopt the norms and values of the culture, and I don't want my child socialized!
I know VERY well that different things work for different families, but I hate stupid questions. I'm really really really tired of people implying that my kids are missing out on something amazing when they don't have any idea what my kids do all day!
I've never said anything like what I've typed here, but I can't help but wonder if the urge indicates the need for therapy :
We love homeschooling!!!
Linda-- your post is so funny because it is almost exactly what I was thinking of saying. When the PA said, "Isn't it hard?" I almost said, "Heavens, no! I put him in the closet with a flashlight from 8 to 3 and slide the worksheets under the door!"
I was thinking about turning the questions around by saying, "Oh, do you have kids? Do they go to school? Do they like it? Do you think they are learning anything? How do they get any individual attention? Do they hate it when they have to learn at the average pace instead of their own pace? Don't they learn racist and sexist stuff at school? Do they have corporate advertising in their school? etc, etc" until they either get the point or shut up.
I just need something to make these conversations more interesting, because when I know they don't really care, I just don't feel like getting into it.
I am glad more people feel like I do. I wouldn't probably do the things I have thought of but it sure is fun to think about.
|Originally posted by laralou
"Oh, do you have kids? Do they go to school? Do they like it? Do you think they are learning anything? How do they get any individual attention? Do they hate it when they have to learn at the average pace instead of their own pace? Don't they learn racist and sexist stuff at school? Do they have corporate advertising in their school? etc, etc"
"Do they hate having to go to bed early and get up early? Do you mind all the questions the school asks that don't have anything to do with educating your child? Isn't it hard to make them do their homework when they are worn out from spending all day being told what to do? Don't you worry about them getting enough down time? How do you keep their curiousity and creativity in tack when they spend all day in a classroom? Have your checked out your schools accedemic standards and methods to ensure that they are getting a first rate education? Do your kids find the endless standardized testing stressful? Do you have to spend a lot of time advocating for your child? How do you make them go when they don't want to? Do you worry about your child loosing his/her sense of self?"
Some people think homeschooling looks hard, but I think it would be a lot harder to send a child to school! And yet, schooling parents are the ones asking us homeschoolers the stupid questions!
(I know, I know, the answer is NOT for us to start asking stupid questions )
You can get the one I have from http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/ORD/frm_flyer.html They are perfect for peole with questions.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
The people I've run into seem to have a very narrow view of hsing and ask questions like, "When is your library period?" or "Does the school give you textbooks to use?" It's a great enough leap for them to see hsing as an option, never mind unschooling.
Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21) and .
Are you asking this question because you are interested in what HS could provide for your child(ren)? I think that people would be really embarassed to admit that they were asking an empty question, and this would force THEM to look into THEIR motivation.
Anyone's tried that?
I think it's better for the children to answer the questions. I have always told my son, even when he went to public school, about questions that he doesn't have to answer. When he used to go to Toastmaster's with us, he learned about how to 'sidestep' questions that are better off not answered because they are nosy or inappropriate.
|Originally posted by truly_sarah
I think it's better for the children to answer the questions.
He just told the lady at Milo's today that I am on the computer 24 hours a day! I was so embarrassed. I do keep it on all day but I am not on the net all day. I keep his hs records on the computer and I like to listen to audible books when I am cleaning. They don't know he is talking about that.
I have one I actually used once to the big S question:
concerned stranger: "what about socialization??"
me: "Oh. that. well, next year we plan to teach them how to swear and disrespect his elders. That should cover it!"
She quit after that one.
I'm not really known for my quiet attitude....
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