Any radical unschoolers here? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
OrganicallyGrown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: southeast alaska
Posts: 290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Forgive me if I am not posting in the correct place. I am relatively new to this forum.

We are an unschooling family with two boys, 5 & 1 yo. I would love to connect with others who are also unschooling with a 'radical' twist. For those who do not know what this means, it is applying the unschooling philosophy to all areas of life- for example, no bed time, no food restrictions, etc. Kids self-regulate themselves (as we adults wish we could do better..."don't have that extra piece of cake...but I want it...ahhh! why can't you listen to me, self?"). KWIM?

best,
jenn
OrganicallyGrown is offline  
#2 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 06:07 PM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by radiantorganics View Post
I would love to connect with others who are also unschooling with a 'radical' twist.

There are a couple of us here.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
#3 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 06:28 PM
 
WuWei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In the moment
Posts: 11,492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We live consensually, that includes child-directed learning.

Pat

I have a blog.
WuWei is offline  
#4 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 08:17 PM
 
cottonwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not a radically extreme radical unschooler, if that makes sense , but I consider it an ideal to reach for.
cottonwood is offline  
#5 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 08:20 PM
 
beansavi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Listening to Widespread!
Posts: 8,818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What is the name of that (those) book(s) written at the turn of the 20 th century about unschooling?
beansavi is offline  
#6 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 08:50 PM
 
UUMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 9,767
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We're not unschoolers, but we do not have TV, food, toy, or bedtime restrictions etc.
UUMom is offline  
#7 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 10:01 PM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by beansavi View Post
What is the name of that (those) book(s) written at the turn of the 20 th century about unschooling?
Do you mean A.S. Neill's writings? (More generally about education rather than unschooling, but it's all I can think of from that time period.)

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
#8 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 10:28 PM
 
UnschoolnMa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Trying to release my cows..Join Me!
Posts: 15,152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I suspect that'd be us.

We unschool, and we have no mandatory eating rules or bed times. We have free access to media. No real rules about these things other than the ones we all agree on together, and lots of discussions.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
UnschoolnMa is offline  
#9 of 267 Old 08-09-2007, 10:49 PM
Banned
 
UnschoolingAmerica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 150
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Jenn,

We are Radical Unschoolers!

We were recently the main guests on the Dr. Phil Show introducing Radical Unschooling to the World.

I actually do not love the label 'Radical Unschooling', because it focuses on what we don't do, rather than what we DO, but I use the label with those who are familiar with it.

A label that better describes what we are is "Joyful Learners"

I have a website and offer free Radical Unschooling Mentoring and I also have a video series on YouTube about RU and peaceful parenting.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=DaynaLeighMartin

(Jenn, I think you recently joined my Yahoo Group!)

Here is our family blog:
www.thesparklingmartins.blogspot.com

~Peace & Love, Dayna
UnschoolingAmerica is offline  
#10 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 12:10 AM
Dar
 
Dar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 11,438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
I suspect that'd be us.

We unschool, and we have no mandatory eating rules or bed times. We have free access to media. No real rules about these things other than the ones we all agree on together, and lots of discussions.
Us, too. There are quite a few of us here who have been living this way with our kids for a long time....

Dar

 
fambedsingle1.gifSingle mom to Rain (1/93) , grad student, and world traveler earth.gif


  

Dar is offline  
#11 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 01:52 AM
 
gassadi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 92
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We are unschooling our kids (eight and one year). The eight year old suddenly learned to read last summer with no help from me because he really wanted to advance in "Animal Crossing" and other video games. Now, he reads all kinds of stuff. Not books so much, but I'm trying to get used to the fact that we have a new literacy with this generation raised on computers, gadgets, etc.

This has been a real leap of faith for dh because he was raised with very strict schooling and comes from a place where education is highly valued. For me, it was natural. I saw in ds's eyes when he first started school how much it was hurting him emotionally and imaginatively. THe kid who used to never be bored and loved learning hated it. He had figured out the stomach ache routine by the second week of kindergarten.

Anyway, it's working for us and my older son is very close to us in ways his friends don't seem to be with their parents. We spend a lot of time together and he is often more mature than his father and me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by radiantorganics View Post
Forgive me if I am not posting in the correct place. I am relatively new to this forum.

We are an unschooling family with two boys, 5 & 1 yo. I would love to connect with others who are also unschooling with a 'radical' twist. For those who do not know what this means, it is applying the unschooling philosophy to all areas of life- for example, no bed time, no food restrictions, etc. Kids self-regulate themselves (as we adults wish we could do better..."don't have that extra piece of cake...but I want it...ahhh! why can't you listen to me, self?"). KWIM?

best,
jenn
gassadi is offline  
#12 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 02:03 AM
 
TheJoyfulMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Southwest Florida
Posts: 368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We're some of those radical unschoolers as well.

Joyfully- Laura
radically unschooling 3 awesome kids
TheJoyfulMom is offline  
#13 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 02:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
OrganicallyGrown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: southeast alaska
Posts: 290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for all the replies.

I like that Dayna- 'Joyful Learners'. I agree that 'radical' makes the way we live and learn with our kids sound really extreme and 'out there'.

I have enjoyed watching a few of your videos (more as time allows). I have actually uploaded one to my blog recently

Where do other unschooling mums find inspiration, community amongst other unschoolers, resources, etc?

thanks.
jenn
OrganicallyGrown is offline  
#14 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 09:52 AM
 
VijayOwens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We're radical unschoolers in rural central VA. DH Charlie and I have two daughters, 2 and 4.

I don't really mind the label "radical unschooler" because I think the degree to which we trust our children *is* considered radical in this society.

I started out with online-only support, but have been very fortunate to meet some really cool unschooers and homeschoolers IRL. You just have to know where to look.

-Vijay
VijayOwens is offline  
#15 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 09:52 AM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by radiantorganics View Post

Where do other unschooling mums find inspiration, community amongst other unschoolers, resources, etc?

thanks.
jenn
Here. I do have a few unschooling friends irl. Some fall into the "radical" catagory. I used to be on the TCS list, years ago--lots of food for thought there, but after a while it was all sounding old. I guess I'd just found my own groove, yk? Anyway, it's a good list for discussion, not specifically unschooling, but about respecting kids and their choices.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
#16 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 03:20 PM
 
mama in the forest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm here. Your post made me ask myself, "when did I stop being a full radical unschooler?"

I was with my first daughter. I remember sitting up with her at midnight when she was 2 because she is such a night owl. I actually was always with her...and then when I had five more kids I remember feeling very lost and out of control when the children took over. I think it was after my fifth babe was born that my family needed a bit of bed routines & supper schedules. Then I had my sixth and those routines have helped me transition one more child into my life.

But I am a radical unschooler at heart, and I plan to return to that as soon as I can! Actually, I see us moving slowly back to that every day. I don't like what I am when I'm making them do things, and it's always a conflict within me.

Greenlee's Forest *intentional jewelry* a secret Journal locket!
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
mama in the forest is offline  
#17 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 05:49 PM
 
Softheart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We are! It would be great to discuss here--also there is a great yahoo group called "Always Unschooled" I love...
Softheart is offline  
#18 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 05:57 PM
 
UUMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 9,767
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama in the forest View Post
I'm here. Your post made me ask myself, "when did I stop being a full radical unschooler?"

I was with my first daughter. I remember sitting up with her at midnight when she was 2 because she is such a night owl. I actually was always with her...and then when I had five more kids I remember feeling very lost and out of control when the children took over. I think it was after my fifth babe was born that my family needed a bit of bed routines & supper schedules. Then I had my sixth and those routines have helped me transition one more child into my life.

But I am a radical unschooler at heart, and I plan to return to that as soon as I can! Actually, I see us moving slowly back to that every day. I don't like what I am when I'm making them do things, and it's always a conflict within me.
When my 3 older children were small, I couldn't always continue on sometimes. I remember the bone-crushing exhaustion. An older friend with multiple children encouraged me to lower the lights, maybe put some calming music on, fix a little snac, k and just calm all the activity down in a soothing, slow way in the evenings. Snuggling down with the children, reading them to sleep, even without fixed bedtimes can often be the kindest thing to do for small children and their tired parents.

In the old days, nights just fell, and people followed the sun. These days, even homes can be Vegas, so sometimes it helps to know it's ok for a day to come to a calm end. It's OK to lower the lights, and hush the sounds some to help little ones unwind. There isn't anything wrong with working/planning together with the children to get some shut eye.

One reason I've moved away from defining us as unschoolers (which never felt comfortable, even when we stopped with the very little structure we had) is because there are too many questions of whether something is unschooling or radical enough. "Is respectfully helping a child settle down so I can also rest a radical enough thing to do?" lol I think sleep can be a very worthy goal, and in the right spirit, it can meet the emotional and physical needs of adults and children. If the children are not running around at midnight, it doesn't mean you've failed, or stopped being the kind of parent you want to be. (I mean not unless you shamed, beat or drugged them to sleep).
UUMom is offline  
#19 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 06:33 PM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama in the forest View Post
I remember sitting up with her at midnight when she was 2 because she is such a night owl. I actually was always with her...and then when I had five more kids I remember feeling very lost and out of control when the children took over.
This reminded me of a something someone once said about the "child led" idea. It was regarding hsing and she said that she could never be child led as it wasn't fair for the parents to be led by the child. This blew me away because that's never the way I thought of it. To me, "child led" meant that the child leads their own learning/life, as opposed to a parent doing the leading. It had never occurred to me that some people were taking it to mean that the child was directing the whole family!!

Anyway, I don't think unschooling (radical or not) means that you don't get what you want. (This is where I can't separate RU from consentual living--it's all the same to me.)

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
#20 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 06:35 PM
 
WuWei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In the moment
Posts: 11,492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Vijay!!

So delighted to see you here!


Pat

I have a blog.
WuWei is offline  
#21 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 06:53 PM
 
Heather423's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 364
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am not familiar with unschooling, but I have an interest in learning more, I will check out the websites. Would a Montessori school be similar? I know that is more child led than regular schools. Unfortunately I will have to send my DD to school, most likely a private school, since our town has the worst schools in our state, or the town next door. I have to work full-time. I do have one question. Wouldn't TV be bad? I saw someone post they had unrestricted TV viewing?
Heather423 is offline  
#22 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 06:54 PM
 
fluttermama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 946
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
We were recently the main guests on the Dr. Phil Show introducing Radical Unschooling to the World.
Did this air already? What was Dr. Phil's attitude about it? Curious.
fluttermama is offline  
#23 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 07:00 PM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,979
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather423 View Post
I am not familiar with unschooling, but I have an interest in learning more, I will check out the websites.
If you do a search here, you'll find some threads about unschooling as well.



Quote:
I do have one question. Wouldn't TV be bad? I saw someone post they had unrestricted TV viewing?
I don't see tv as bad. No one's tv viewing is restricted at our house--we each have different levels of interest in it, and differing tastes in content, but we watch what we want and stop when we're done--same with the computer, books, art supplies, etc. etc.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
#24 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 07:08 PM
 
UnschoolnMa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Trying to release my cows..Join Me!
Posts: 15,152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
TV bad? Ha! Somewhere my kids just shuddered and aren't sure why.

We think there is much to be learned and much fun to be had from TV and movies and video games. Not every unschooling family feels the same way though, and that's okay.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
UnschoolnMa is offline  
#25 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 08:06 PM
 
cottonwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SagMom
To me, "child led" meant that the child leads their own learning/life, as opposed to a parent doing the leading. It had never occurred to me that some people were taking it to mean that the child was directing the whole family!!
Ohhh... that would explain a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather423 View Post
Would a Montessori school be similar? I know that is more child led than regular schools. Unfortunately I will have to send my DD to school, most likely a private school, since our town has the worst schools in our state, or the town next door. I have to work full-time.
I think the Montessori method is much kinder than traditional schooling, but it's not unschooling. There are "schools" that essentially operate according to unschooling theory -- learning tools are provided, but the child chooses what and how and when. They're sometimes called free schools. You might look into democratic schools too -- I don't think they're all totally about unschooling, but some might be close enough for your taste.

Quote:
I do have one question. Wouldn't TV be bad?
Why would TV be bad?
cottonwood is offline  
#26 of 267 Old 08-10-2007, 08:32 PM
 
mama in the forest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
If the children are not running around at midnight, it doesn't mean you've failed, or stopped being the kind of parent you want to be. (I mean not unless you shamed, beat or drugged them to sleep).
Thanks UUmom. I hear ya. I think for me it's a combination of their young ages and the sheer number of them. I love having a big family, but it really messes with my nature of letting them guide themselves & choose their own paths.

I guess now that I think about it we don't really have any set bedtimes. There just gets to be this point in the evening when I've had enough, and my body has had enough, and I need for them to be quiet and for the boys to stop their damn wrestling. We do quiet down then, and I introduce things into our environment like you mentioned - like books & hot tea & stories. Some days though, just for crowd control, it seems like I'm doing that sort of thing more frequently than others...and maybe it's those days that I feel like I'm controlling things more than I want to. I don't know. They choose all their own activites...and I suppose with any size family there are practicalities about when kids can do certain things. I actually like the fact that the children learn to work around each other. There's one computer in the house and I have a business......so there are lots of us sharing it. Nobody really gets to dominate the computer. Except me.

Anyway...I don't mean to highjack the radical thread!

Greenlee's Forest *intentional jewelry* a secret Journal locket!
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
mama in the forest is offline  
#27 of 267 Old 08-11-2007, 12:28 AM
 
canuckgal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 429
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: ...although I think there are varying degrees of radical-ness in unschooling, and just unschooling alone when thinking of it in an academic sense is pretty radical! I find in the "non academic areas" such as bedtimes things are going to depend on how old your kids are, the setup of the house, and yes mama in the forest how many you have! For example, when my kids were smaller and dh was working night shift, and I was very newly postpartum with ds, I would be upstairs in pj's with them at 6 pm nursing both of them to sleep and would try to sleep even that early myself as dd was waking up almost as much as ds : I was not comfortable leaving dd downstairs alone, she had only just turned 3, and I would accept that some nights she was just not tired then, but would put the gate up at the end of the hall so she could not get out if I fell asleep, set out something quiet to do and a snack, or she could play in the room quietly beside me, etc. Now at 7 she knows how to turn off the lights, and most often joins us or goes to her own room about a half hour after we do. I do agree with previous posters about things like quieting down, etc. That is totally different from just saying you HAVE to go to bed at such and such a time BECAUSE I AM THE MOM THAT'S WHY! I think it is about trying to come to a compromise about meeting both your needs and it is going to look a lot different when your kids are young vs older. Also, each kid is different. My ds has no problem telling me that "mama me tired, me need to go to bed" then falls asleep in 5 min while dd can look/act exhausted and doesn't always recognize it and sometimes needs some help in winding down


I really think that radical unschooling get some people rankled as they believe people just let their kids run wild. As is quoted in other places on the Web...unschooling is not unparenting! TV...we don't have restrictions as to time watched, I lifted this about a year ago and have finally become more relaxed about it, the forbidden fruit aspect is gone and when I truly did pay attention and watched with her I saw how much they are learning. We do have lots of dialoge about what she is watching.

As far as my favorite resources:

Yahoo groups such as AlwaysUnschooled (for up to age 8 or so), Shine with Unschooling (lots of moms with "special needs kids" but focuses on seeing them for their strenghts), unschoolingbasics

Life Learning Magazine
Live Free Learn Free magazine (folkypoet on this board edits/publishes that one)
http://connections.organiclearning.org/ (an online mag, will need to pay something like 10.00 per year I think but can read a sample issue.)
http://www.sandradodd.com (this is her website, on messageboards some people find her a bit harsh and she tells it like it is, but I have always gotten the kick in the pants I have needed when I express doubts! )
http://www.unschooling.com
http://www.unschooling.info
http://www.naturalchild.org (under articles look at the section on "learning")
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing (Joyce Fetteroll, lots of great stuff about respectful out-of-the-box parenting, quieting fears regarding school subjects "how will they learn math?" etc. I have used tonnes of ink cartridges printing stuff off of here!!!!)

Books: all written by unschoolers
The Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith
Moving a Puddle by Sandra Dodd
Parenting a Free Child by Rue Kream
Challenging Assumptions in Education by Wendy Priesnitz (who edits Life Learning magazine)



Hope this helps ya!

Tina, dp James, dd Stephanie (7) and ds Jonathan (4) here in Manitoba Canada eh

Tina, RN, wife-y to J, mom to dd (10) and ds (7)
"Beware the lollipop of mediocracy...one lick and you suck forever!"
canuckgal is offline  
#28 of 267 Old 08-11-2007, 02:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
OrganicallyGrown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: southeast alaska
Posts: 290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is awesome! Glad to have started such a wonderful dialog.

cheers,
jenn
OrganicallyGrown is offline  
#29 of 267 Old 08-11-2007, 01:32 PM
 
UUMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 9,767
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama in the forest View Post
Thanks UUmom. I hear ya. I think for me it's a combination of their young ages and the sheer number of them. I love having a big family, but it really messes with my nature of letting them guide themselves & choose their own paths.

I guess now that I think about it we don't really have any set bedtimes. There just gets to be this point in the evening when I've had enough, and my body has had enough, and I need for them to be quiet and for the boys to stop their damn wrestling. We do quiet down then, and I introduce things into our environment like you mentioned - like books & hot tea & stories. Some days though, just for crowd control, it seems like I'm doing that sort of thing more frequently than others...and maybe it's those days that I feel like I'm controlling things more than I want to. I don't know. They choose all their own activites...and I suppose with any size family there are practicalities about when kids can do certain things. I actually like the fact that the children learn to work around each other. There's one computer in the house and I have a business......so there are lots of us sharing it. Nobody really gets to dominate the computer. Except me.

Anyway...I don't mean to highjack the radical thread!

I remember crying sometimes when the children were playing happily around the house, but when all i wanted to do was sleep. How can you stop that with respect? You can't really, but you can take care of yourself somewhat. I have a vivid memory of one particular night, just so tired.... the children were running around, laughing happily and I was crying because they were so happy, and I couldn't enjoy it the way I wanted to. Dh was away. I was *so* tired. I wanted them to stop. I wanted to lie down and wake 10 hours later with nobody needing me.

I remember the tears on my face, the feeling that I just didn't know what to do. I couldn't stop them; I didn't want to stop them. I wished I felt as happy as they did at that moment. I remember getting the sofa quilt and putting it on the floor, I got some some food-- cheese sticks and crackers. I put in a video, Mary Poppins, my favorite movie as a child, and shut off the living room lights, the kitchen lights. With my nursling in my arms, I just slipped to the floor. I sat there, crying, nursing, hoping they would stop running and laughing. In a few minutes, they came into the living room, saw the picnic, and sat down. There was no teeth brushing, no stories, but we all fell asleep on the floor, just like that. Maybe I fell asleep first, I don't remember, but it happend, maybe one by one, maybe mostly together? But it happened. Nobody woke me, nobdy cried. When I woke up, we were all lying on the quilt, all of the children alseep, the movie having rewound and begun again. I wasn't crying.

In a little bit, I picked up the oldest child and and put him in his bed. Then I took the babies & went to bed, feeling so much better. Weirdly, I felt proud of me for not losing it. Maybe that's what we need to focus on, the not losing it, even in our imperfection.
UUMom is offline  
#30 of 267 Old 08-11-2007, 01:42 PM
 
water's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 692
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
I remember crying sometimes when the children were playing happily around the house, but when all i wanted to do was sleep. How can you stop that with respect? You can't really, but you can take care of yourself somewhat. I have a vivid memory of one particular night, just so tired.... the children were running around, laughing happily and I was crying because they were so happy, and I couldn't enjoy it the way I wanted to. Dh was away. I was *so* tired. I wanted them to stop. I wanted to lie down and wake 10 hours later with nobody needing me.

I remember the tears on my face, the feeling that I just didn't know what to do. I couldn't stop them; I didn't want to stop them. I wished I felt as happy as they did at that moment. I remember getting the sofa quilt and putting it on the floor, I got some some food-- cheese sticks and crackers. I put in a video, Mary Poppins, my favorite movie as a child, and shut off the living room lights, the kitchen lights. With my nursling in my arms, I just slipped to the floor. I sat there, crying, nursing, hoping they would stop running and laughing. In a few minutes, they came into the living room, saw the picnic, and sat down. There was no teeth brushing, no stories, but we all fell asleep on the floor, just like that. Maybe I fell asleep first, I don't remember, but it happend, maybe one by one, maybe mostly together? But it happened. Nobody woke me, nobdy cried. When I woke up, we were all lying on the quilt, all of the children alseep, the movie having rewound and begun again. I wasn't crying.

In a little bit, I picked up the oldest child and and put him in his bed. Then I took the babies & went to bed, feeling so much better. Weirdly, I felt proud of me for not losing it. Maybe that's what we need to focus on, the not losing it, even in our imperfection.
Thank-you for posting this. You know, if more people would post about times like this, where they were totally miserable yet somehow managed to deal without losing it, I would be much more likely to consider it as a lifestyle. It alwasy seems so easy for everyone who is a radical unschooler, while I am almost losing it on a daily basis just trying to regular unschool with some life structure.

"MY best interest?...How can YOU say what MY best interest is?...When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities."-ST
water is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off