Unschoolers ~ Is it ever ok to impose your will? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 51 Old 10-29-2007, 11:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First, I want to say how cool it is to watch my child learn on his own. The other day he picked up a workbook we have and wanted to do a page in it where you name the animal then pick the letter that the animal name starts with. I didn't think he'd be able to do it because we've never done anything with recognizing letters in that way other than reading Dr. Suess' ABC book. He surprised me, though. He got every letter correct. He'll be 4 in January, by the way.

Now, on to my question. Please correct me on any of this if I'm wrong. The way I understand it, the main goal with unschooling is to allow my ds to learn what he wants when he wants and how he wants without imposing my will on him of what I think he should do when. The other thing is to recognize that children learn through everything they do, even "just" playing. How does this translate into toys? If my ds wants a toy that I don't like or don't see any educational value in, is it wrong of me to refuse to buy it (assuming I can afford it)? I find myself at the store showing my ds the "educational" toys that I will buy for him and trying to steer him away from Diego or Elmo or the Backyardigans guitar that's just buttons to push that make sound for you. I told him I'd buy him a real guitar when I can afford it (probably either a Christmas or birthday present). Is this wrong of my because I'm imposing my idea of what I think is of value on him?

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#2 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 08:53 AM
 
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Is this wrong of my because I'm imposing my idea of what I think is of value on him?

You'll likely get a mixture of answers to that question. *I* wouldn't do it because the reason we unschool comes from a desire to respect our kids' interests and thoughts and ideas. So, to impose my idea of what I think is of value to them would be contrary to that.

What we do do is to discuss things a lot. If my child was looking at a guitar with buttons, I might point out the one with strings and explain the differences. We've talked about brand names and do price comparisons, weigh the pros and cons of purchases, etc. But even if *I* think the real guitar would be better, they might disagree, or might just want something that has buttons to push. I believe they know best what they want/need. I'm there to share ideas, but the choice is theirs.

As far as "educational" toys go, I've actually found the things labeled "educational" to be pretty dull. Most of the stuff on the shelves is electronic abc drill or similar stuff that lacks imagination. I don't classify my kids' toys as "educational" or "just for play." That seems restrictive to me as they learn from all sorts of things.

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#3 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 09:10 AM
 
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I guess it would depend on how strongly you felt about unschooling, and how widely-spread in your lives you wanted it to be.

It sounds like you are thinking about how to respect and honor your child in more areas of their life than just education. So, keep thinking about it and contemplating it - and you will come to the right conclusion for your family.

In our family, we do not unschool in every aspect of our lives. Sometimes they simply must take a bath, help clean, aren't allowed to watch TV, etc. - but even when they don't have much choice in something, we find we can still accomplish respect and honoring of our children.

Have you heard of NVC (Non-Violent Communication)? This helps us when there is a conflict between what we need and what they want to do. Using this method of communication can help both us and them get to the root of what their needs our and ours and be able to come up with a solution that meets both.
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#4 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 09:20 AM
 
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I find myself at the store showing my ds the "educational" toys that I will buy for him
I don't take my kids toy shopping, so that eliminates a lot of their wanting toys I'm not comfortable with. They aren't exposed to them in the first place.

I do give my children allowances, and they are allowed to spend them on things they want to buy (although I do impose some limits: no Bratz, for example, although that has never been an issue). My dd (5) has bought herself a giant Koosh ball, a Tinkerbelle dress-up outfit, and some plastic horses. My ds (4) has bought some Thomas trains and accessories. My dd (13) has bought a beach bag, some clothes, food, a movie, a purse. We ask that the kids know what they want to buy if they want to buy something; we don't take them to the store to browse.

Anyway, even though we unschool, we are not whole life unschoolers. I don't subscribe to the "there is value in everything" line of thought, and I also feel that it is my job/privilege as a parent to set the tone for our home. There are certain things that are so far outside my values system or comfort level that they are simply not allowed. And I don't think it makes me not an unschooler, it just means I am not a "radical" unschooler.

I have deliberately kept my kids away from junky, mass-marketed stuff, so they don't ask for it. When they do have the opportunity to play with those things, they tire of them quickly (just as, since I have consciously steered them toward quality books, they prefer them and don't enjoy junky ones).

To me, it's an issue of the type of life dh and I want for our family, and I don't see anything wrong with guiding my kids in that direction. Yes, my kids have some schlocky toys. But they were mostly gifts from other people, and the kids don't prefer them, and they are learning that schlock usually equals low-quality, easily broken, uninteresting toys.

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#5 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 09:23 AM
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Now, on to my question. Please correct me on any of this if I'm wrong. The way I understand it, the main goal with unschooling is to allow my ds to learn what he wants when he wants and how he wants without imposing my will on him of what I think he should do when.
This will only work so far. At a certain point , depending on the age and "grade" of the child he is going to have to learn certain core subjects. He is going to need to have good reading, writing, and math skills if he is ever going to want to go to college. You do not want to set your child up for unrealistic expectations in life. Sometimes we all have to do things we do not "want" to do. That said, during my child younger years, the core subjects were learned and things pertaining to science or history , art, or whatever were learned according to the childs interests. Now we are in the second year of high school and there are certain things that are required to learn to have a good transcript if my dc would like to go to college.
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#6 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 09:49 AM
 
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This will only work so far. At a certain point , depending on the age and "grade" of the child he is going to have to learn certain core subjects. He is going to need to have good reading, writing, and math skills if he is ever going to want to go to college. You do not want to set your child up for unrealistic expectations in life. Sometimes we all have to do things we do not "want" to do. That said, during my child younger years, the core subjects were learned and things pertaining to science or history , art, or whatever were learned according to the childs interests. Now we are in the second year of high school and there are certain things that are required to learn to have a good transcript if my dc would like to go to college.
Not an unschooler but want to chime in and say I disagree with you. Many "radical" unschoolers have had little to no problem getting into college. I know this because of experience and studies. I know many unschoolers who have never been forced core subjects but have had amazing scores on their SAT.
But, I totally understand why a parent would choose to push core subjects. Its our comfort level.
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#7 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:34 AM
 
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I am not 100% sure what you are asking...you said you were showing your child some specific toys you liked...did you think he would like them as well? I always 'introduce' my children to ideas, books, topics, movies that interest me, and I think might interest them. Conversely, my children introduce me to music, books, films, YouTude videos that I don't know exist. Some things interest me, some things don't. My kids aren't forcing their interests on me and I am not forcing mine on them. We share what we are thinking.

I've said before I don't think I am 100% an unschooler (although that is the best way to describe us) because I am pretty hands on with my ideas. (Which they can take or leave). I don't think there is anything problematic with saying "Hey, look. I think this microscope is interesting because (add your reasons)". Some people say that's not unschooling and some people say it is. What does your educational/life philosophy mean to you?

Questions to ask yourself, lables notwithsatnading: Were you forcing him to get something he didn't want? Did you disrespect his interest in something you felt was worthless/ didn't approve? (I can't get behind that, even if it is Diseny/Dora Princess/sword/whatever).

What was your will, and how did you impose at his expense?
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#8 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:35 AM
 
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Some of these things are pick your battles.

Diego isn't all bad he rescues animals....this leads to cool learning about animals, animal protection, et.


IMO if he likes the Backyardigans guitar he isn't physically capable of a "real" guitar. There is motor skills issues you have to consider. Trying to replace something he wants won't make him like your idea. Impose your will and your money to move on re-visit guitars when he is bigger. If you want him to get interested in real guitars/music instruments do by example.

He likes some of this stuff because it is flashy. I agree with keeping him out of toy isle. It reduces the I wants. Think of it like this you impose your will of what he eats by only providing him access to nutritious foods the same is with toys and TV.
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#9 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:41 AM
 
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Not an unschooler but want to chime in and say I disagree with you. Many "radical" unschoolers have had little to no problem getting into college. I know this because of experience and studies. I know many unschoolers who have never been forced core subjects but have had amazing scores on their SAT.
But, I totally understand why a parent would choose to push core subjects. Its our comfort level.
So far, I don't think any studies on hsers have separated radical unschooling and structured hsing, however. But I do think readical unschoolers who choose to take SATs would do pretty well, even without having studied core subjects their whole lives. But at some point, even RU will prepare.

Kids who do well on tests tend to 1. Be good test-takers, and 2. Exposed to the information on the tests.

So, even radical unschoolers scoring well would have prepped somehow for the SATs. The difference is that radical unschoolers made their own decision to study something for reasons that are personally important to them.
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#10 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. I should maybe clarify that what I consider educational toys aren't usually the toys that are commercially presented as educational. I do not like nor do I buy the electronic, computer, talking toys and the like. We have a few of those toys that were gifts that my ds hardly plays with at all. I am so completely opposed to the mass-commercialized stuff. I don't want to buy it just on principle alone. I also don't take my ds toy shopping. We had to go to the store yesterday to buy some baby supplies and, of course, all the stores that sell baby supplies also sell toys. My ds knows the stores have toys and asked if he could get something. I told him I'd buy him one inexpensive toy so we looked around. I'm not a shopper, anyway. I only go to the store if I need to buy something and I know exactly what I want.

"Were you forcing him to get something he didn't want? Did you disrespect his interest in something you felt was worthless/ didn't approve? (I can't get behind that, even if it is Diseny/Dora Princess/sword/whatever)." from UUMom

I guess this is part of my concern. I did not force him to get anything he didn't want but I refused to buy him many things that he did say he wanted. We kept looking until we found something we could both agree on, a small, rubber shark. I do have a very hard time expressing anything positive about those highly commercialized toys. I usually at least scowl if I don't outright say that I can't stand them, they are useless, etc.

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#11 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 12:13 PM
 
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Personally, I think there is a place for 'junk' and 'education' in every person's life. I don't think we should always be so quick to say what is junk and what is educational. I think there is room for both, and sometimes they can't be separated. I know lots of wonderfu, sweet, intelligent, respected children who have some pretty 'junky' toys. So what, imo. (Human rights violations and lead notwithstanding, of course). One of the greatest, smartest, kindest 19 yr old girls I know was a *Barbie* freak when she little. She is doing Peace Corps (It's actually not the peace corps-- but something like that. I can't recall the name of the program right now) work before she starts college. Her mother was so uncomfortable with it for a few years, but she trusted her child to know her own play needs. There are a lot of emotions etc to be worked out in doll play-- even if the dolls do have weird plastic boobs.

That said, I probably wouldn't bring a young child to a toy store unless we knew why we were there to begin with. We go when 1. The child has saved up for something (and that's not about me) particular. 2. We know we need a certain lego set or a new board game. Toy store browsing is pretty dangerous. Although, we have gone to look for fun, and with agreement that we were just going to windowshop.
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#12 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 03:46 PM
 
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I've always tried to show the kids their options. I'm all about options and seeing what is available before making a decision, so I have passed some of that on to the kids I think. I've shared the things that I usually think about when making a purchase. Things like: how sturdily made is it, have things like this kept my interest long in the past, is it always going to need batteries and is that practical for me, is it worth the money/what else can I buy with that amount, etc. What do I like about it? What don't I like about it?

Sometimes we just buy something and run with it though.

I don't really think it's appropriate for me to impose my want on things like style or brand. If my child has money, or I can afford what they want without issue (being able to afford big things is a rarity for us most often) then so be it.

Certain brands, like Bratz or Disney stuff aren't off limits here. I bought Dd her first Bratz doll actually. I share any concerns about the thing, and we talk. We don't think kids must have all or even mostly "educational" toys.

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#13 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 03:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by oliveoildog View Post
This will only work so far. At a certain point , depending on the age and "grade" of the child he is going to have to learn certain core subjects. He is going to need to have good reading, writing, and math skills if he is ever going to want to go to college. You do not want to set your child up for unrealistic expectations in life. Sometimes we all have to do things we do not "want" to do.
You might want to do a little bit of reading on the subject of unschooling! There are tons of threads here, and quite a bit of info on google and the like.

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#14 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 04:08 PM
 
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What UnschoolnMa said.

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#15 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 04:09 PM
 
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We don't think kids must have all or even mostly "educational" toys.
Neither do we. My kids have plenty of toys that wouldn't be considered "educational." But there is also a difference between "not educational" and "cheaply made, environmentally unfriendly, worker-exploiting schlock."

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#16 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 04:16 PM
 
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But there is also a difference between "not educational" and "cheaply made, environmentally unfriendly, worker-exploiting schlock."
Those are also things we talk about as part of our decision making process. But sometime we just can't find shoes or something particular that aren't made in China.

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#17 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 04:34 PM
 
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Those are also things we talk about as part of our decision making process. But sometime we just can't find shoes or something particular that aren't made in China.
What about grown up 'toys'? Computers, cars, ipods, and other things that harm the earth in their creation & non-biodegradeability, and very often have the same questionable human rights issues, yet we don't deny ourselves these things. We are quite quick to disrespect our kids desires, however. A car, even a hybrid, or a computer that keeps needing 'upgrades' is doing far more damage to the earth than any one child's 'junk toy'.
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#18 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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yet we don't deny ourselves these things.
Well, I'd wager that some of us do. Some of us probably try very hard not to buy things we don't need, and we probably try to buy from the most worker/environmentally friendly sources if we do determine that we need or just simply want something. Perhaps some of us even try to make sure that these things are recycled/disposed of properly in the event that we cannot use them anymore.

All of these things can, of course, be done when buying children's toys, as well, but I think that the gist of most of these discussions is "my kid wants/keeps receiving schlocky junk, is it ok to say no?"

I think it's fine to say no, and I also think that the parents who worry about these things probably are the type who worry about their own purchases, as well.

I don't aspire to have zero impact, because I don't think it's possible in today's world. I don't, however, run out and buy slave-labor clothes for myself just because I like them, and I don't buy disposable everything just because it's convenient, and I don't generally buy my kids cheap, worker-unfriendly, environmentally unsound schlocky toys.

dm

ETA: I don't mean for this post to sound snarky. I'm not trying to draw a line between some people (implying myself) and other people (implying everyone else) in terms of how we make purchasing decisions. I was just saying that, this being MDC, I'd imagine that there are plenty of Mommas who DO deny themselves lots of things for environmental and human rights reasons. I know I do, but I am sure that there are many more here who are even more vigilant about it than I am. But I do think that the choices we make define our values, and for me personally, letting my kids purchase things that don't align with my values means I am no longer living my values. I don't think I hold my kids to a higher standard than I do myself.
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#19 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What was your will, and how did you impose at his expense?
My will was that I do not like the plastic, electronic, commercialized toy that he wanted so, although I could afford it, I refused to buy it. I steered him toward the toys that I thought were good and told him I'd buy him one of those.

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#20 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 06:53 PM
 
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This will only work so far. At a certain point , depending on the age and "grade" of the child he is going to have to learn certain core subjects. He is going to need to have good reading, writing, and math skills if he is ever going to want to go to college. You do not want to set your child up for unrealistic expectations in life. Sometimes we all have to do things we do not "want" to do. That said, during my child younger years, the core subjects were learned and things pertaining to science or history , art, or whatever were learned according to the childs interests. Now we are in the second year of high school and there are certain things that are required to learn to have a good transcript if my dc would like to go to college.
You might want to do a little bit of reading on the subject of unschooling! There are tons of threads here, and quite a bit of info on google and the like.
: Well said UnschoolnMa! :

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#21 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 07:11 PM
 
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My will was that I do not like the plastic, electronic, commercialized toy that he wanted so, although I could afford it, I refused to buy it. I steered him toward the toys that I thought were good and told him I'd buy him one of those.
I think the only thing you need to consider is your own parenting philosophy and beleifs. Are you asking here becuase you are concenred about your decision?
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#22 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 07:24 PM
 
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I would think most/many MDC folks make pretty careful consumer decisions. But in the end, almost every person here owns a computer. Most also own cars. They are not good for the environment, and they can be considered toys. Many people make due without a car, but most people wouldn't hear of losing the convience of owning their own. And unless you are making a living with your computer, one doesn't really need to own one. If we want to do research, we could go to the library and use a communal computer. But we prefer to have our own. Sometimes kids just want to experience the blinking light toy, and in my mind, it's often age appropriate to be attracted to certain things. People learn soon enough if such thing serve them well or not. I like my VitaMix, but not the electric can opener someone gave me. (Which is reminding me to drop it off at Goodwill).

Is it ok to say no? For me, it depends on the question, and it also depends on whether we respect our children's needs and hear them out instead of making unilateral decisions & dismissing their desires . A lot of people won't allow their children candy, say, but get out the chocolate once the children are alseep. A lot of children aren't allowed anything but wooden and woolen toys, but the parent owns a computer. The child isn't able to keep the remote control car grandma gave, but the parent drives their own car each day. There is very often a double standard for many.

I find it helpful in my family to be respectful and present the children with options,discuss and then let them decide their own play needs, perhaps with their own money. I share, we research, and sometimes we just eat the ice cream or get the toy that won't last forever.

Which is not to say our way is good for anyone but our own family. Each family has to find their own groove.
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#23 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 09:51 PM
 
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ETA: I was just saying that, this being MDC, I'd imagine that there are plenty of Mommas who DO deny themselves lots of things for environmental and human rights reasons. I know I do, but I am sure that there are many more here who are even more vigilant about it than I am. But I do think that the choices we make define our values, and for me personally, letting my kids purchase things that don't align with my values means I am no longer living my values. I don't think I hold my kids to a higher standard than I do myself.
Here is my problem with denying children the choice with making their own purchases based upon their own values and priorities: its sounds like "he who has the money makes the rules". And I also believe there are plenty of folks on MDC who don't like that world view/power matrix. So, I make my buying choices based upon *my* priorities and ds makes *his* buying choices based upon *his* buying priorities. Just like I have access to the "family money", ds does too. Although, neither of us are "earning" the family money. I certainly don't like the extrapolation that *DH* makes the rules about what we buy, just because he is the one who "earns" the money.

We have "discretionary spending money" and we all have access to it. No one person or "class" of family member determines its usage. We all collaborate together to each buy what we want, when we can afford it, based upon our own values. Dh certainly doesn't think I need *that many* books, organic products, alternative health care products, etc. And I don't know that he "needs" that many CDs and electronic gadgets. But, we decide these buying purchases for ourself.





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#24 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 10:33 PM
 
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its sounds like "he who has the money makes the rules"
I don't see it that way at all. I see it as "she who has the knowledge and understanding does what she can to protect the earth and its people."

I guess it's a difference in how we view our respective roles as parents and citizens of the earth. I believe that it's my job to teach my children my values and to be a good steward of the earth. I do talk to my kids about my values and why I do or don't purchase certain things, and I do let them make choices, but in the end, my kids' right to express their values through buying worker-exploiting schlock when they honestly have no concept of what slave or sweatshop labor really is is not as important to me as doing what I can not to contribute to it. I don't think it's responsible (or kind, for that matter) to allow my kids to innocently and ignorantly contribute to others' misery and the degradation of the earth. Like I said, we are not perfect and we don't claim to be, but why set the precedent in the childhood years that it's ok to buy stuff because it looks cool or might give us a few weeks of fun when it contributes to the perpetuation of others' misery? No matter how much I talk to my kids about how their purchases affect others, I honestly and sincerely believe that they are incapable of really understanding it at their ages.

I know that the grinding poverty and starvation I witnessed in Ethiopia and the squalid misery of the orphanages was something that I didn't really get until I witnessed it myself, no matter how much I "knew" about it. I don't expect my kids to understand slave labor and the global ramifications of overconsumption of the earth's resources and the toxicity of plastic production, either, until they have a much larger frame of reference.

dm
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#25 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think the only thing you need to consider is your own parenting philosophy and beleifs. Are you asking here becuase you are concenred about your decision?
I'll try not to make this too long while explaining why this is concerning me. I have a 16yo ds. When he was around 7 he got into the Pokemon craze. I hated Pokemon. To me it was all about fighting. I didn't want my ds to think that life was about competing with everyone and always having to win. I had quite a different idea of parenting back then. So, I was very adamant about how bad Pokemon wasand refused to support his interest in it. In spite of him being interested in Pokemon and the like, he did not grow up to be a violent or agressive or overly competitive person. Unfortunately, I'm afraid what my my ds did learn from that was that I thought the things that were important to him were wrong or bad. I'm still trying to make up for that. I want my children to know that their personal likes, dislikes, interests, etc. are important simply because they are theirs.

I want my children to be creative as well as have critical thinking skills. This is very important to me because it's something that I feel I lack. I see how many of the mass marketed toys may inhibit creativity since they can only be used in so many ways. For example, a pirate ship set is just that. It can't become something else. However, a set of blocks can be built into a pirate ship or an airplane or a house or anything that my child might dream up. I feel the same way about the electronic educational toys. I can see the value in them to a certain extent but I don't want my children to become dependent on having a machine prompting them on what to do next.

My 3yo loves Spongebob. I enjoy the show myself. However, that doesn't mean I want to go out and buy everything Spongebob. My friends think Spongebob is disgusting and do not allow their children to watch it. That makes me wonder if I'm missing something. Then I go back to my experiences with my older ds.

Pat ~ I really like what you had to say. My dh is the one in our family who earns the money. If he ever tried to tell me I had to get the ok from him before I bought anything for myself, we wouldn't be married for much longer. For him to do that would be controlling and disrespectful. My children deserve the same degree of autonomy and respect that I do.

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#26 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:07 PM
 
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My oldest dd was in love w/all things Pokemon from about age 10 to about age 13 (and was a hser during those years). And I mean she* loved * Pokemon. We used to go on hunts through thrift stores and yardsales for the items. She has quite the collection. She is a lovely, kind, thoughtful, thinking person. I never worried about Pokemon, ever. I could see the wonderful, gentle human being my child was/is. I know tons of hsers who are still interested in the 'intellectual' aspects of Pokemon. Further, I could see that something very important resonated with my child wrt , yes, Pokemon. She loved the detail, the stories, the myth, the changlings etc.

My 18 yr old also loved all things Lego Star Wars, and has been a Harry Potter fan as long as he's been a Red Sox fan. (he read the first HP book when he was 8-- The Philosopher's Stone version. At a time it was not yet popular, and was only in British production). He is neither violent nor a worshipper of Valdemort. He is alover of mythical stories, and is currently at uni majoring in history/government/music.

PS All my kids love SB...and Bart and Lisa, too.
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#27 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:12 PM
 
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For example, a pirate ship set is just that. It can't become something else. However, a set of blocks can be built into a pirate ship or an airplane or a house or anything that my child might dream up.
Just today my five year old was using our pirate ship as a rainforest treehouse. She set it on her little table and even attached a string to it to be the rope ladder.

Blocks cannot be picked up and moved around in the same way a pirate ship can. My kids like it that their pirate ship, which has wheels, can "sail" (roll) across the blue-green carpet (ocean).

dm
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#28 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:15 PM
 
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Dharma, I trust that by modeling my values, they are more influential than if I were to impose them.

MarieWife,

I don't know much about Pokemon. But from the bit that I have learned, it is a game of intense strategic assessment, planning and reaction. Much like chess. One must be proactive, reflective, and think through the subsequent possible plays in order to protect your cards and "weapons". I, too, do not embrace a competitive spirit. I believe there is an abundance and that our needs are not in competition. However, our son enjoys the challenge and game of competitive sports. It is part of who he is at this time. Like you discussed, I embrace that with him, without dismissing or invalidating it.

I have found that our son is exceedingly more creative than the toy designers. LOL He uses things in ways they are not intended. Pirate ships can become many different play tools. Ds loves many different tv shows. He incorporates some of the characters, social play/conflict and settings into his imaginative play. The Little Einsteins have been to Sodor to rescue Bob the Builder and met the Backyardigans there, etc. etc. I believe that *free play* provides opportunities for creativity, irrelevant of the specificity of the toys. Structured, regimented schedules cause folks to expect to be directed, imo, not the toys.

However, we do purchase most toys at consignment, ebay, or online, in order to find the most cost effective options. And we have toy exchanges and share toys with younger children, when we are done using them. There are many ways to recycle toys. Mostly, ds loves to "recycle" a toy to a new use!


Pat

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#29 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:30 PM
 
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Dharma, I trust that by modeling my values, they are more influential than if I were to impose them.
Ok. I feel that habits of consumption that are started in childhood are difficult to break. To Buddhists, habituation is karma.

So I guess we are at an impasse.

dm
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#30 of 51 Old 10-30-2007, 11:33 PM
 
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Ok. I feel that habits of consumption that are started in childhood are difficult to break. To Buddhists, habituation is karma.

So I guess we are at an impasse.

dm
Is it the parent's role to direct a child's "karma"?


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