Mothering Forum banner

Buddhist Momma's Tribe.

46K views 1K replies 161 participants last post by  Kothi 
#1 ·
Any Buddhist momma's out there? I know you have to be somewhere.


I've recently discovered Buddhism and have become an avid studyer (is that even a word? Oy.).

I still don't know many Holidays or meditations or anything, but I'm steadily learning. Adding more and more every day.

So call out if you're there!
 
See less See more
2
#5 ·
Hi Mamas!
I guess if you can call me anything it's a Bhuddist (am I the only one who has trouble spelling that?). I'm really happy to find other Mamas here. I would love to discuss what it means to you. My husband is Chinese and a Bhuddist. I met him in college and we have been together for almost 12 years now. We have 2 beautiful mixed babies, DS is 2 1/2 and DD is 7 mos. I just turned 30 this week
!! I was raised Southern Baptist (I cringe to even write it) in a small town. My entire family is VERY active in the church. It is very hard for them to understand our lifestyle. DH never pushed it on me or even suggested I study it. I just became interested in it by understanding his take on life (and his family's). I have read many Thich Naht Hahn books. He changed my view of life/death and a way of living "Peace Is Everystep" in particularly. I meditate and do yoga when I can.
In my other life - before th kids- I was a massage therapist. I praticed and meditated a lot more then, it's just hard to now with the babes. I also think AP and Bhuddism go well together, KWIM?
I hope there are more out there and we keep this thread going!
Blessings
Sara
 
#6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by nurtureyourbabies
Hi Mamas!
I guess if you can call me anything it's a Bhuddist (am I the only one who has trouble spelling that?). I'm really happy to find other Mamas here. I would love to discuss what it means to you. My husband is Chinese and a Bhuddist. I met him in college and we have been together for almost 12 years now. We have 2 beautiful mixed babies, DS is 2 1/2 and DD is 7 mos. I just turned 30 this week
!! I was raised Southern Baptist (I cringe to even write it) in a small town. My entire family is VERY active in the church. It is very hard for them to understand our lifestyle. DH never pushed it on me or even suggested I study it. I just became interested in it by understanding his take on life (and his family's). I have read many Thich Naht Hahn books. He changed my view of life/death and a way of living "Peace Is Everystep" in particularly. I meditate and do yoga when I can.
In my other life - before th kids- I was a massage therapist. I praticed and meditated a lot more then, it's just hard to now with the babes. I also think AP and Bhuddism go well together, KWIM?
I hope there are more out there and we keep this thread going!
Blessings
Sara
YAY! More momma's!!!

I've read "Buddhism, plain and simple", "Buddha Mom", I'm currently reading "The Pema Chodron Collection". I also have a "kit" I got from www.onespirit.com which is a teaching of Meditation (Vipasanya... or however you spell it). Then next in line is the book "Anger" by Thich Naht Hahn.
 
#7 ·
I didn't even know there was a Buddhist Mom book.
Thanks for mentioning it. If there are any good Buddhist books for kids I'm interested. One of my husband's co-workers gave us a book comparing and relating the teachings of Buddha and Jesus. It's too much for a child though.

I do think AP and Buddhism go well together, Sara. Just about everyone I know in my side of the family (DH's family is Catholic/born again Christian) is into AP. I don't think they even know a parenting style besides AP!

The form of Buddhism practiced in my family is the Theravada Buddhism that's more prevalent in Thailand, India, Laos, Sri Lanka, Myanmar.
 
#8 ·
I can't decide between Theravada and Mahayana! I've been studying both, and I'm sure I'll naturally follow the path I was meant to.

AP and Buddhism DEFINITELY go together! I think it's definitely helped me be an even better parent!

And yes, there's a book called "Buddha Mom". I also have one that's specifically centered on teaching kids, 18 months to 3 years, to meditate. It's called "Buddha Baby", I believe.

A lot of my family is accepting of my new-found path. My dad, however... oy. He INSISTS that I need to find a religion "that my ancestors would have practiced." Uh huh, sure. He's a rather devout Catholic, so of course, since some of our Ancestors are Irish, I brought up Paganism/Wiccan/Druidism. He wasn't too thrilled with me, lol.

Finding Buddhism (or, rather, it finding me?) has definitely given me a new lease on life. I am definitely more accepting (not that I wasn't before, but I did tend to be critical and attached), more calm and nonchalant, observant, etc.

I'm loving this thread!!!
 
#10 ·
I'm so glad this thread was started!
I have always considered myself buddhist minded but only recently started really reading up on it.
My mama got a great buddhist magazine tri cycle that i devoured in one day!
-i asked for a subscription for the holidays


Last night i was in a tizzy and i happened to find a bookmark that i was looking for marking a spot in a momma baby yoga book that reminded me to be in the moment not to fret over past or future ....
Just what i needed.
Now if i could just find a quiet time to practice some meditation
ahhhhhhhhhh
 
#11 ·
Thanks for the book titles.


Are any of you raising your children as Buddhists? If so, have you encountered any opposition from relatives?

I think we'll be raising our daughter as a Buddhist. DH's sister is a devout Christian who homeschools her children but I don't expect any hassle from her. Though the rest of his family is Christian also none of them really seem that interested in practicing their faith so I don't think they'll care one way or another what faith we instill in her.
 
#12 ·
We will be raising our 2 in a Buddhist way. As far as opposition from the family, I expect it. As I said before, they are very active Baptists. I don't really care, DH and I are on the same page and don't really care what our families say, although his is very supportive. DH wears his family Buddha along with a pic of his grandparents around his neck everyday (DS has one he will get when he is bigger) and he says his prayer everynight when he takes it off. DS has witnessed this and will go get it and put it to his head and say the chant, soooo cute. He also sits and "meditates", closes his eyes and says "Ohmmmmm". My family has seen this and just think it's cute. I would LOVE to teach him real meditation. I was planning on starting on his 3rd Bday (in march) and doing a minute for every year of his life, that way by the time leaves us he will already be used to daily meditation.
 
#13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by BookGoddess
Thanks for the book titles.


Are any of you raising your children as Buddhists? If so, have you encountered any opposition from relatives?

I think we'll be raising our daughter as a Buddhist. DH's sister is a devout Christian who homeschools her children but I don't expect any hassle from her. Though the rest of his family is Christian also none of them really seem that interested in practicing their faith so I don't think they'll care one way or another what faith we instill in her.
I am going to raise my daughters in a Buddhist atmosphere and let them decide for themselves.

My dad and his side of the family will give me grief (my uncle is a Christian Pastor who "knows everything"
) but my moms side is really accepting and curious. My aunt's b-friend goes to UUC so I think they're more "alternative" over on that side.
 
#15 ·
Quote:
What brought you to Buddhism?

Did you practice any religions before finding Buddhism?

How do you practice Buddhism?
I felt empty. It was weird and I couldn't explain it. I'd been a rather devout athiest my entire life, so I decided to read up on some religions just to see if something clicked. It couldn't hurt. So I did and Buddhism just lit me up. I fell in love immediately. It took everything I've ever thought and felt and organized it.

No religions before this one. I was quite athiest.

Right now I concentrate a LOT on mindfulness. I don't meditate much at the moment. I do have someone willing to instruct me in Shamata (spelling?) meditation, which he says is the step before the Vipasayna (spelling again? LOL). My kids have shown interest in meditation too. Off and on, but an interest nonetheless.
 
#17 ·
I'm not studying right now, but I am living my path.

I was raised without much religion. I never attended church until I was old enoug to take myself. My father is Deist, my mom has never discussed religion with me. They were both raised catholic, but neither has attended church since they were teens. We celibrated christian holidays and our parents told us we were catholic (which I now feel is an out and out lie). My father read us bible stories about the holidays, and we had bibles and prayer books and such around the house.

As i got older, and my brother lived in Okinawa for 4 years, and then I lived in Japan for another 4 years, and my parents went to visit each of us, there were also Buddhas in the house, and my mom even kept one by the door and made offerings to it and asked favors of it.

When I was 13 I took a cultural geography class. A big part of the class was on the major world religions. I thought that of all of them Buddhism sounded the most likely, but I had already founded a simple religion of my own, and was quite devoted to it.

At 16, I took up yoga and meditation. I've practiced ever since with varying regularity.

I started attending presbyterian church on easter and christmas with my friends in high school, and continued until I joined the navy at 21. I sampled the chapels' offerings occaionally at different bases where I lived over the next 5 years. I attended nondenominational services regularly after I was married. I was looking for a community in which to begin my family. DH thought that was a weak reason to choose a religion. He didn;t get in my way, but did not support me either. I gave up church because it did not contirbute to a harmonious home, I got tired of the pitying looks when I told ppl that no, dh wasn't deployed, he was just a recovering catholic and not comfortable in church. I never believed much of what was taught.

We lived in Japan for 4 years (including the 3 or 4 month stretch of regular church going). The whole time I was there, I had been going to temples and shrines and enjoying meditation and rituals there. After we came back, I really missed the temples. The more I thought about it, the more I missed it.
I started reading about Buddhism. Very vague, general stuff. I found that it fit beautifully into my own personal philosophy. I realized that I wasn't leaning in a buddhist direction, I actually was a buddhist.

Dh considers himself to be Shinto. We have discussed the teachings of Buddhism and for the most part we agree with them. there is still a great deal that we don't know, and as soon as I graduate I will begin my studies. We plan to have Ben trained as a monk around age 4 or 5. Derek is a martial artist and had a close friend who had been trained as a monk at that age. There is a large Laotian and Vietnamese community here, and there is a sizable temple out in the country somewhere. We've made numerous attempts at finding it, but as yet to no avail. I'm hoping that once things calm down around here, I can get involved in the temple.

It is good to find other moms here who are in a similar place.
 
#18 ·
About family acceptance. we, umm, haven't told them yet. Not sure how anyone will take it. My parents might be cool with it, or they might totally freak out. they are weirdly unpredictable about religion.

My ils are devout catholics, and will undoubtedly think I'm a big weirdo, but I'm already so very different from them, they have really come to expect my wackiness. They know we don't do church and are totally cool with it. I think it will go pretty smoothly, even if they think it's insane.

I don't plan to make a big announcement or anything. It might eventually come up in conversation, but that could be years from now. How has everyone else dealt with family's reactions?
 
#19 ·
Just wanted to say hi! I have been Buddhist for a long time now and am a serious practitioner. I spent the first two months of Ds's pregnancy on retreat living in a tent!
It has been hard to practice since he was born but I still go to talks and retreats/programs.

I practice in the nigma/kagu tradition of Tibet with Shambhala. Has anyone heard of that?
Anyways, I have taught bodhi school (sunday school) and have a lot of resources if anyone has questions or just wants to talk.
Oh, and as far as your family not accepting it...you should have seen my family at my wedding! It was at stupa in the mountains of Colorado. They loved it! It was hard to believe but even my dad was okay with it. Dh's family was uncomfortable with the intensity of it. The energy there was so intense and direct, kwim?
But people are surprisingly into the whole Buddhist thing.
Glad to find you all!
Stacey
 
#20 ·
Hi - just happened to see this thread. Another Buddhist mama here (my partner too.) we practice in the Japanese Soto Zen tradition, combined with a big dose of Thich Nhat Hanh. (Our sangha incorporates both paths.) I used to sit a lot of sesshins (retreats) before our little one came along. Now I do a day here and there. My daily meditation practice is pretty much history at the moment too, but the daily mindfulness challenges of mothering a toddler are very enriching!

Let's see if I can answer the questions:

What brought you to Buddhism?
Hmmm...I went to a retreat in my 20's because it sounded interesting. I met my teacher there, and it took a few more years, but I gradually began practicing with the sangha, reading, meditating and attending retreats.

Did you practice any religions before finding Buddhism?

Yes - I was raised a Lutheran, and I went to a Unitarian-Universalist church for a number of years.

How do you practice Buddhism?

Breath by breath.

I have found that working with a teacher and a sangha has been very important. Books are great, but not a replacement for community and guidance from someone with a lot of experience and wisdom on the path.

In relation to our daughter: we are trying to incorporate simple practices into our lives. We ring a mindfulness bell after diaper changes, and take a deep breath, and do a little bow together. As she's getting older, I have to remember to keep expanding our activities in this area. She went to a Thich Nhat Hanh retreat with us this summer - it was fabulous to have her there.

I love the term "bodhi school"; our sangha is too small to offer this right now, but there is another group in town that starts at about age 3, and I hope to have her participate if our group can't manage it by then.

There are some more Buddhist mamas that post from time to time in the spirituality forum - they probably haven't seen this thread in "finding your tribe."
 
#21 ·
WOW! Lots of us out there!

I'd LOVE to learn where I can find a teacher or more resources. There is a Temple around the corner from me but hardly anyone there speaks English, and I don't speak Vietnamese. Anyone know how/where I can find a teacher in the Grand Rapids area of Michigan? And what is a Sangha?
 
#22 ·
I followed the Kwan um school of Zen for awhile but had a hard time with the concept. I find that the concepts of Buddhism take me a long time to grasp. i just continue to think and read and once in awhile the lightbulb pops up over my head. Since giving birth to ds my interest has become more pronounced. I'd like to find clarity and a peaceful center to parent from.
 
#23 ·
Kris - Sangha means a community of Buddhists.

I can't say I found Buddhism. You could say it found me. It is the faith that many of my relatives practiced. I grew up with it. There are many Buddhists in my state so it's not considered odd to be one. Even DH's family is fine with it and they're Catholic.

How do I practice Buddhism? With mindful action. I'm far from being an expert but I try to incorporate the essential truths of Buddhism into my daily life. How someone practices Buddhism varies depending on which school he/she follows but I believe you can practice the core teachings of Buddhism through small things - don't kill a bug simply because you find it gross; don't spread rumors or malicious gossip about others; don't buy the latest thing simply to have it without really needing it; don't be unkind, etc. The hardest thing for me to do is be in the present. My mind wanders as I'm sure it does for most everyone else. That reminds me I should be meditating instead of sitting in front of this computer.
 
#24 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by BookGoddess
Kris

How do I practice Buddhism? With mindful action. I'm far from being an expert but I try to incorporate the essential truths of Buddhism into my daily life. How someone practices Buddhism varies depending on which school he/she follows but I believe you can practice the core teachings of Buddhism through small things - don't kill a bug simply because you find it gross; don't spread rumors or malicious gossip about others; don't buy the latest thing simply to have it without really needing it; don't be unkind, etc. The hardest thing for me to do is be in the present. My mind wanders as I'm sure it does for most everyone else. That reminds me I should be meditating instead of sitting in front of this computer.

Thank you so much for your response. I REALLY enjoy this paragraph that you wrote and agree with it wholly. I know I still have a while to go before all of my lightbulbs brighten, but I'm reaching that slowly and surely. I think with each day I become more mindful and can incorporate that mindfulness into that particular day. While these "concepts" are still new to me, I do try to at least take the small opprotunities throughout the day to make a difference. I don't kill bugs anymore (this coming from an arachnaphobe, lol), I try to work on my patience with each passing day, while I was never a HUGE gossip, I did partake in it here and there and I've been mindful of avoiding that, also witholding judgements in favor of trying to understand someone's situation better... etc. And if I forget from time to time, I try not to dwell on it. It's an opprotunity for further learning, and I simply remind myself to come back to the present and proceed on.
 
#25 ·
I just stumbled across this thread and I am soooooooooooo excited to see that someone started it!!!! I don't have too much time to reply as I am about to go take a big test


I grew up a Christian in a congregational church. I went every Sunday for 20 years, I was very involved in groups, a member of the choir, you name it! But I did it because of the community. The people become my family. I never believed in any of their teachings, even as a young child. I knew there was a path I would later follow that I would connect with.

I took some silly online test to see what religion best matched my beliefs and guess what was the first one? Buddhism! I started reading up on it and I immediately connected with it. It was like everything I believed in was right there on paper. It all made sense and it was so comforting to know that somewhere out there other people believed the same thing.

I don't know much about it. I just recently located a Buddhist group in the area that practices at a local center. I haven't had a chance to go yet. I've started reading Tich Nacht Han (sp?) books and they are wonderful.

I would love to learn as much as possible. I just don't know where to begin. What do I say when I contact this group?

Anyhoo, I am so thrilled this thread exists!
 
#26 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by KrisPlusFour
WOW! Lots of us out there!

I'd LOVE to learn where I can find a teacher or more resources. There is a Temple around the corner from me but hardly anyone there speaks English, and I don't speak Vietnamese. Anyone know how/where I can find a teacher in the Grand Rapids area of Michigan? And what is a Sangha?

Sangha is one of the "three jewels" of Buddhism - Buddha, Dharma (could be defined as teaching or truth) and Sangha (or community) - Thich Nhat Hanh practice groups are a nice starting place - usually lay-lead, and very informal and friendly, and pretty low on ritual. There are two or three close to you, according to my directory; here's the link for Michigan: http://www.iamhome.org/usa_sangha.htm#Michigan

Here's a link of other zen centers in Michigan - once again, nothing super close, but a few in the neighborhood, perhaps:
http://iriz.hanazono.ac.jp/zen_cente...M.htm#MICHIGAN

Perhaps folks on this list from other traditions can also help out. There are many, many styles and schools of practice; probably some will feel like a better "fit" to you than others. One of the wonders of living in the United States at this time in history is the incredible breadth of traditions we have here.

Someone else asked about how to visit a sangha or Buddhist practice center. I think you could always call first and see if they have a special new comers orientation or program or someone who would talk with you one on one about the group. Our center offers open houses every quarter that especially welcome new people. Otherwise, just remember that everyone was new once, no matter how comfortable they now seem!
 
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top