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August's Vancouver Tribe Thread

10K views 493 replies 49 participants last post by  2BMamaof3 
#1 ·


This is the thread for Lower Mainland mamas who like to chat online and meet in person. All local mamas are welcome here! Visitors are welcome to pop in too. We are brought together by our passion for conscious/thoughtful/attachment/respectful/wholistic/natural parenting, not always agreeing on the path but agreeing to respectfully discuss, share and learn together.

We have sporadic get-togethers but no regular time/place. We often meet at Science World (SW) in the winter and parks in the summer. Follow this thread if you want to find out about get-togethers. If you want to meet up with other mamas you can always suggest a get-together in the thread.

Remember that to get email notification of new posts in this thread, you can post to this thread to subscribe or you can use 'thread tools' and click 'subscribe'.
 
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#2 ·
yeah...so I couldn't really think of a catchy title for the August thread, but I was pretty proud of myself for starting it...then the pressure of creating a name got the better of me and I wussed out and gave it this lame moniker... well, we're all here, anyway
 
#3 ·
Thanks Tiffani.

Alias has that wicked stomach bug that's been going around. Logan took the boys to SW on Tuesday, that palce is like a germ factory, and today at about 3pm he started throwing up. It's 8pm now and he's been barfing pretty much every 30 minutes. Poor little guy. It's so hard to see your kids sick and hurting and not be able to do anything about it.
 
#7 ·
Aw, Kazia, I'm sorry to hear about Alias!


Mamasan asked where I bought the Blue Planet DVD's. I got them from Amazon.ca. For some reason, they have the episodes 3 and 4 set, but not the episodes 1 and 2 set, so I had to buy those separately. It won't come in a lovely box for all four, but it still worked out to be less than the set offered at Discovery, and in Cdn dollars. Unfortunately, a couple of them take a few weeks to deliver, so I likely will be waiting a month for them to come. Oh well, there's no rush on it.

Maplewood Farm - tomorrow at 10:30 am I'll be meeting up with mamaana there. Storm Bride - if you want your Diva pop by; I'll bring it with me. If anybody else wants to join us, feel free!
 
#9 ·
Finally, something I can remember to respond to! Lots of movie watching going on here as well
:.

My kids also love Totoro, although Nicola says she doesn't want to watch it any more because of the sad parts. If I put it on anyway, she'll usually watch it. I love the music! I didn't know about the Kiki one - I'll have to look that up.

They currently love Magic School Bus, I Spy, Little Bear, actually almost anything from the library because of the time limit on it. I have to be very selective about what they bring home as Danny, especially, always wants some sort of superhero-type thing. One of his faves right now is Power Rangers (thanks, SIL
. Also, Star Wars Episode I (where Aniken Skywalker is a boy).

Occasionally they'll still watch a Cabbage Patch Kids movie - short, cute story with catchy tunes I find myself singing for the rest of the day
.
They have watched Mary Poppins a couple of times, but its REALLY long (139 min
)!

I hadn't heard of the Blue Planet series. Is it made for kids? Would this be the complete box set for a really good deal? Blue Planet on EBay

I'm really tempted to get rid of all the Disney movies we have been given one at a time & say, 'gee, I don't know where that one went!'. Actually, they haven't been watching them much lately (Nicola seems to be out of the 'Princess' phase at the moment) so maybe they wouldn't even notice. Anyone want one (or more)??

Oh yeah - Yoga Kids are great, too!
 
#10 ·
Oh, sometimes I am one of those mommies who says yay horray good job that's awesome etc to Lydia. Hm. Maybe I do that too much? I thought praise was good for toddlers...? Better than treats, right? A praise junky, though, huh, that's a new one for me. Now I'm worrying.
 
#13 ·
Kazia, sorry to hear about Alias. DS had the all day barfies for about 20 hours, then one whiney, clingy day with no barfing, then 1.5 days of horrible diarrhea. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? DH now has a complete, full understanding of what being a stay at home parent entails, in sickness and in health!

I have next week off, but it has quickly filled up with daycare visits. I have a vent about daycare centres. Why oh why do they INSIST that 2.5 year olds MUST be potty trained in order to attend? Well, I understand that it's a pain in the pattootee to change so many diapers in one day, but I'm starting to lose hope of DS letting go of his diapers consistently by November and I feel discriminated against because of it. Grrrr.
 
#14 ·
Don't worry too much about the praise thing Kate. Good old parental enthusiasm is not harmful (in my opinion). I give my boys a hooray, and a "good job" too. But it's when it's deserved and I try to back it up with an observation, like: "Wow! That was awesome when you did that spin jump. You've been working on that jump for a while and it's paid off!" I think what what Mariah's referring to (pardon me as I assume away here) are the parents who good job every little thing their child does until their little one needs an audience and recognition for every little thing they do. They start to think that the only reason to do anything is to get a reward.

A few months back we all got into a big praise debate, actually I think it was that debate that A) had one thread contributor leave in a bit of a huff and B) lead us to put the little blurb at the beginning of the thread about acceptance and diversity.
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by misseks
Oh, sometimes I am one of those mommies who says yay horray good job that's awesome etc to Lydia. Hm. Maybe I do that too much? I thought praise was good for toddlers...? Better than treats, right? A praise junky, though, huh, that's a new one for me. Now I'm worrying.
I think that most parents who read the book "Punished by Rewards" by Alfie Kohn end up taking a closer look at the issue of praise. Our culture really emphasizes reinforcing behaviours, but Kohn points out the problems with this approach in his well-researched book. It's well worth a read IMO!
 
#18 ·
Yep, mirthfulmum explained it well. And yes, this woman Good Jobbed everything with no descriptive phrasing at all.

Kohn wrote a book called "Punished by Rewards" and here is a short excerpt regarding "Good Job".

IMO, there is nothing wrong with sharing your pride and enthusiasm at your child's accomplishments with your child, but I think it behooves all parents to think carefully about how they do this. I'm sure the woman in my class really believes that she is doing what's best for her kid, but I doubt she has ever considered the "other side" to what she is doing.

IMO, too much Good Jobbing robs a child of any chance to develop their OWN, inner sense of satisfaction and pride. I want Emily to feel good about doing a proper V-sit because SHE recognized that she has improved and made strides and did that extra bit of work to make it better. NOT because it elicited an emphatic "Good Job!!!" from me. kwim?

Good Jobbing without descriptive phrasing is focussing too much on "yay - you pleased ME (the parent)" instead of "this is what I thought was so special about what you just did".

Anyways, if you saw this woman in action you would not hesitate to conclude that there is something seriously wrong with what she is doing. And even if you don't think Good Jobbing is so bad, at the very least she should keep her damn voice down, lol.
 
#19 ·
Wow I can't believe its August!!!

Dh is away for the long weekend... Cass and I made sweet pickles last night, I have never made them before but I have high hopes for them turning out... the problem is I am just not the patient type I want to know what they taste like now!
 
#20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Piglet68
Anyways, if you saw this woman in action you would not hesitate to conclude that there is something seriously wrong with what she is doing. And even if you don't think Good Jobbing is so bad, at the very least she should keep her damn voice down, lol.
From your post, it sounded like she wasn't simply good jobbing the heck out of the kid... she was also using it as external pressure to get the child to (1) comply and (2) disconnect/stop needing connection and be more independent. Yucky in many ways!
 
#21 ·
We've come out the other end of Alias' stomach bug. Poor guy was tossing his cookies about very half hour for almost 6 hours. Then at about 11, he finally stopped and fell asleep. He seems so much better today. But we're going to stay low key. Harrison's been a bit moody, I wouldn't be surprised if he starts puking by tomorrow.

So Jen, how's the pickles?
 
#22 ·
Is anyone interested in meeting at Science World next week? I'm probably going to be there next Thursday morning with my 3yo and 11mo, and a friend's 12yo daughter too to help me keep track of the 3yo. (I'll have the 11mo in my new-to-me napsack!)

Of the regular posters here, I've only met Ellaine, but I've been lurking here forever! We finally got our SW membership, so I'm trying to take advantage of it before I go back to work in September. (I worked at SW when it first opened back in 1989-91, so it's particularly weird for me to go back to my old stomping grounds. It's changed a LOT!)
 
#23 ·
My girls and I just returned home from five days in Harrison Mills. And wow, this thread covers ALOT in five days
.

We stayed in a lovely cabin with two other moms and their children - very fun! Unfortunately both Maia and Kate caught the puking bug - serious vommiting! But, better to have sick ones when there are friends on hand, than home alone. Anja and my other healthy child were able to run and play while I hung out with the puker.

On our way home, we stopped at Beckman's Berry Farm just east of Mission and picked transitional (in the process of becoming certified organic) blueberries. The berries were beautiful and CHEAP
! $0.85 pound for U-Pick. If anyone is going to Mission, I recommend stopping!

Jen - Wow! I loved your response to the Winner's Woman - I'd say Good Job, but I don't want to turn you into a praise junkie


Gael - I've missed you too!


Sleeping through the night - I try to remember that children are little for such a short time. Especially now that Anja is six
and BIG. I weaned my twins at 15 months (I couldn't take it anymore, being up five plus times a night!). But, as I acknowledge how stretched I was back then (with three under three for a while), I really wish I could have done things differently. Perhaps having more support (heck any support) would have made a difference. Hang in there, we will have plenty of opportunities to sleep when our babies are grown.

Finally, I am wondering what Subbing means...
 
#24 ·
Oh, and how could I forget to mention my girl's favourite movie???? The Sound of Music is it! They love it! But at three hours long, it's a BIG deal if I agree to put it on.

I am thinking of picking up Annie (from the 80's) because I love music (yes I know, how cheesy). But I can't remember how the children are treated. Like will it traumatize my kids or will they understand the humour? I'm sure the orphanage wasn't very AP
.
 
#25 ·
Hi!

Hugs for Alias! Hello to Justine...long time! Hope everyone is well.

Had a mishap here...Virginia put a "ponytail" on the cat (her tail). Didn't notice it until today...tail broken, dead and had to be amputated
.Poor Kitty! Luckily, the vet didn't act as thought we were as awful as I felt...she said it actually happens quite a bit. Just a warning for those of you with kitties and hairstyling little ones!
:

Hopefully Closing on our farm on the 21st!
 
#26 ·
ooh, we love movies. i bordered on the tv-free parenting side of things, and my partner is media-boy and totally comfortable with using media to learn, and has altered my position considerably. in particular, the whole concept of watching being a passive activity is wrong. people are constantly making meaning, and that is a truly interactive process. i watch my child use a film or video for a period of time until she has learned everything she can about it; we might return to it a few months later when she is in a different space. for example, we adored zoboomafoo through total jaw-slack focus to playing with other things while listening to it and wandering off half-way...and now a year later we are back to it. i try to limit how much we watch, because i want to do other things, rather than that tv is *bad*. i try my best to make it 'let's do this now' rather than 'let's not watch anymore' but i have some pretty ingrained habits around it and have to work to be creative and not punitive! we definitely are in the record it first camp...and mr. media has a digital box, which assists in the commercial-limited life. i mute all commercials, which drives my in-laws mad. ah, well.

we like a lot of films which we do *not* watch in their entirety, because they would be inappropriate. amelie is a great example!! i sometimes refuse to put those with adult or violent content on because i must be too involved, which doesn't work as well with 2 children buzzing around. our favourite films which require less skipping (keep in mind that my child is very easily scared, so we used to skip a *lot*) are:

dreamer
mary poppins
ice princess
madagascar
cinderella
on the town
ice age
cars (not out yet)
winnie the pooh
singing in the rain
herbie (all of them)
monsters inc. (we skip quite a bit!)
finding nemo (we skip the first scene)
toy story two ""
wallace and grommit, particularly the were rabbit and dvd extras
pride and prejudice (bbc)
bride and prejudice
bend it like beckham (some swearing, but rendered incomprehensible by the londoner accent)
anne of green gables + the sequel
a room with a view
the royal tenenbaums (loads of skipping! but we just love it anyway)
the aristocats
babe (skip, skip skip)
bewitched
fiddler on the roof
topsy turvy (more skipping, but it is so great)
of course, the sound of music (tamara, do yours watch the whole thing? we give up when the nazis really get moving and skip to the last scene)
charlie chaplin
princess diaries (i refuse to watch these, but daddy will)
friends...which is actually getting more inappropriate, since she understands more!
wizard of oz, only we're too chicken to watch most of it.
early disney (lots of discussion about representation here!) like old mickey, goofy, donald. we prescreen!

well, that should keep you busy!!

gael, you did the call your younger child by your elder child's name thing! i cannot get mine straight!

erica, please please do that in september, we're so thrilled!

*
 
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