I, too, really appreciate everyone's thoughtfulness AND candor here.
What a great discussion to be having with other LDS moms! And what a great, smart, compassionate, righteous group of moms!
When I was teaching childbirth classes I went through a similar realization as someone else on this thread (I believe a LLL leader) about other women's choices. I was frustrated with the number of women who, although in veiled fashion, basically said I was irresponsible, selfish, and taking too many risks (ie A BAD MOTHER) for choosing home birth. Almost always saying things like "I could never forgive myself if anything happened to the baby." At the same time, I could not understand how so many LDS women could simply turn themselves, their bodies, their babies over to total strangers in spite of really awful potential short and longer term consequences, or how they could tell about their really awful epidural experience in one sentence and in the very next, tell another woman she's crazy for wanting natural childbirth! And yet I realized that even though these choices have a profound effect on some aspects of earth life, and cumulatively could really make life more difficult and hinder someone's eternal progress, they may be made taking into account factors I cannot see or know. And the obstacles these choices may create are not insurmountable. Christ's grace IS sufficient.
I totally understand the importance of recognizing the reality of human limitations, being loving in spite of, and looking forward with a brightness of hope in Christ's atonement to cover the adverse effects of every shortcoming, and that grace and knowledge are extended to each individual as accepted by them and sufficient for their salvation regardless of the shortcomings of their parents (THANKS BE TO GOD!). But there is also an appropriate time to mourn the losses of mortality, and I am happy to have found this forum of women who encourage eachother through the frustrations and joys of trying to nurture according to gospel principles--as we imagine our heavenly parents nurtured us before we came here.
Of course some of the examples we give in support of our opinion are extreme ones. But even in those cases, the exceptions to the rule (such as a woman who for medical or mental health reasons cannot breastfeed) should recognized as an exception, not a reason for dismissing the value of breastfeeding. Overall, breastfeeding makes life EASIER in the long run for ourselves AND our children by giving them the best possible start. As another example, a woman with PPD may not know or realize that breastfeeding may be what helps SAVE her sanity because of the oxytocin boost and more gradual change in hormones. Or she may not know that meds are available which are fairly safe to take and may be effective for her while breastfeeding. And this information could make all the difference in the world to her (or not).
Of course we are all imperfect and subject to error in our own stewardships, and I don't want to be judged any more than anyone else. Those women who are chagrined with my absolutely messy/cluttery house are basing their judgements on righteous principles, too. But my indignation over the treatment of that little sunbeam (his dad actually threatened violence--not his own, but MINE!--in saying "Why are you crying? Are they [your teachers] mean? Do they beat you? Maybe I'll let them.") might be of the degree that requires a response. Perhaps I'm the person who NEEDS to say something to that dad to help him overcome his unrighteous dominion! Haven't prayed about it yet, but plan to. (Any ideas about possible approaches?)
In this instance as in others, I think it's important for me to not get emotionally carried away (even if or especially as I do choose to say something to this dad) and lose sight of the underlying principles--both in terms of free agency and Christ's power to overcome our imperfections, but also in terms of the need to continue to work towards perfection as I am able, and strengthen and help others appropriately, as I am able.
Does anyone here actually KNOW any moms who have received spiritual confirmation for sleep training and other parent-centered and children's emotion-denying parenting styles and techniques as a matter of practice?
: Most moms I've talked to who sleep train, etc. do so, by their own admission, out of desperation, not inspiration. Granted, I have had my moments of needing to put my babies down and leave the room momentarily to calm myself when they're inconsolable. And as with everyone, some things are simply too hard for me given my current weaknesses. For example, eliminating cows milk from my diet to see if it helps my baby's severe reflux may eventually be necessary. But right now, I really rely on dairy products to get adequate nutrition for continued breastfeeding. Giving up chocolate alone was really hard for me, and had good results. Eventually, I will probably get to the milk thing. We've already had to eliminate wheat since our son is allergic to it and that makes keeping up with special meals, etc. challenging enough. But I'm not going to try to claim that my continuing to use milk is inspired. (Or that it's of Satan, either!) Recognizing weaknesses doesn't mean that we shouldn't acknowledge or strive for ideals--like spending as much time as we can with our kids, nourishing them as well as we can, correcting as non-violently as we can.
Thanks for the unintended reminder to pray over my parenting decisions daily. That is something I've needed to remember more.
I'd like to talk more about the idea of trying to "subdue the flesh" and overcome the "natural man" and try to help our children do the same while at the same time recongnizing that the restored gospel gives quite a different perspective about "the flesh" including that bodies are divine (indeed an attribute of God!) and good and children are innocent and without sin.