Great questions!
***"does anyone feel that they are re-inventing the traditional idea/definition of Mormon womanhood?" (burning yourself out to the point of insanity and sometimes sacrificing needs of children to fulfill callings)***
I guess my answer would be no for several reasons. First of all, I don't associate burnout as part of the traditional idea of LDS womanhood. Are there women who take the idea of sacrifice too far and "run faster than they have strength"? Yes. But I have never felt like such women were held up as the epitome of emulation for the rest of us. I'm not even sure I could say that most LDS women fall into this category. I think we all feel pressure to do more and be more, but for me, this pressure comes only from within myself and my perceptions of what other people might be thinking. From church leaders, lessons, and scriptures, womanhood is always characterized by burning commitment and dedication to the gospel and to family, but also by balance, wisdom, grace, and proper priorities, which always put family first.
Sometimes some women can be competetive and can pressure others to do too much, and that can snowball, but I don't think most women fall into this category. I think how we perceive this is based a lot on the people we know and the dynamics of a particular setting we find ourselves in. I'm sure every ward has people who fall into the above category. But I guess I try to learn to not place too much stock in what people like this think or do. I strive to follow direction and example from leaders who actually have the stewardship to give such counsel and to extend callings/responsibilities. It is to them that I must answer and not Sister So-and-so (or a hundred Sister So-and-so's) who just happens to have an opinion on how everybody should do it.
When I seek for understanding of the "traditional" LDS woman, I look to the words of our leaders, the RS theme (is that what it's called?), the Proclamation on the Family, and the examples of the great and strong women throughout our history (people like Eliza R. Snow, Sheri Dew, Chieko Okazaki, and the rest). Chieko Okazaki was notorious during her service in the General RS Presidency for urging women to not be so hard on themselves and to find balance in their lives.
There have been a handful of times when I have had to assertively stand up to someone trying to guilt me into taking on more than I could chew. This has *never* been a bishop, or a RS president, or anyone in a position of leadership--it has always been a brother or a sister acting out of their place of stewardship or taking their stewardship too far. The one time I was feeling terribly over-extended in a calling and was considering asking for a release (which I *never* do!), I prayed and prayed how to handle it, and before I could go talk to the bishop, he called me in and released me! He was very in tune, and it was such a testimony to me that Heavenly Father really knew my needs at that time. However, I do not think that we can always just wait for the spirit to prompt someone else. Sometimes, the Lord expects us to speak up. Go talk to the bishop if you're struggling with more church commitments than you can handle. Do it in an attitude of humility and faithfulness, but do it!
There is such a balance here too, though, because I also think that if we get too caught up in thinking about how overcommitted we're going to be, we can miss many opportities to serve, and we can also lose some much-needed humility. There does have to be some element of sacrifice involved, or there would be no growth. I think we grow tremendously from having to work hard to figure out priorities and how to creatively manage commitments and obligations. We need to be really careful about too much saying "no", just as well as too little. We must be absolutely sure our heart is right. Our children need to see us serve, too. They need to see us make sacrifices to fulfill callings.