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My biggest beef w/ La Haye is the myth of the primacy of the simultaneous orgasm. More current studies indicate that the MAJORITY of women don't even experience orgasm during intercourse, only in other ways. If we believed LaHaye, we would think there was something wrong with most women, some unknown "sin", something needed to repent of and fix in order for them to have fulfilling, God-ordained marital intimacy. BOGUS! |
This is so interesting, because as many times as I have read this book, I have never gotten that out of it -- see how different we are
. In fact, I think he employs a technique not found in any other books as far as orgasms go. If anyone is interested, pm me. I guess we have never focused on sim org because it just is hard to match up. Besides, it seems it is usually my 2-3 before his one. There is a huge difference between having them ONLY through intercourse versus having them DURING intercourse, if that makes sense. I really do not know what comfort levels we are all at, so if anyone is confused by what I am saying, please pm me and I would be happy to shed light on my thoughts or his book.
Yes, our experiences are limited too. Our first night was so sad that I actually spent a majority of the night crying in the other room -- a definite sign that we needed some extra help. It is frustrating when this desire is building and building during a courtship. We kept ourselves clean and were looking forward with such eagerness to the first time. But when things fell apart, I was totally distraught. It is very confusing to have these feelings and think things will just come together (and I am not talking sim. org. -- I am talking about anything which would feel good and nice and in any other way be like what I expected). That is when we pulled out our copy. And I said before, it helped us learn about each other, our bodies, and our responses. I agree there is no right or wrong way to do things; if a couple were lucky enough to have a fulfilling closeness from the honeymoon on, more power to them -- but we were not. That is why I love that book so much -- it totally brought us out of a disappointing, downward, no-hope-in-sight "private" life.
About reading racy books -- I know I have a tendancy to read things equalled to a rated-R movie when I would not SIT through a rated-R movie...I tend to skip in books when it gets too heated. I personally find reading books with steamy parts does get my body excited -- unless there is some denouement, there really is no point. Meaning, if my husband was not in the mood, there was no point reading as things just switch on which are hard to switch off.
About Alex: I don't fully understand why her parents weren't the first people (and perhaps the last) told about this behavior? It is sad, but when children are molested, many times they think that is normal behavior, so naturally they become threats to other children. I understand you want your children to foster a good relationship with their great-grandparents, but I would pull back something fierce. I would not send the kids there for while, and when they would go back I would make sure I would be there with them ALWAYS. Like someone else mentioned they may put the children together unsupervised just to try to prove things are okay. If the whole family neglects to address the issue they are not to be trusted either -- an ignorant is just as dangerous as a predator, imo
. Please don't take this as my advice for you that you must follow -- I am only sharing what I *think* I would do if I were in your situation (but don't even really know if I would do because I am *not* in your situation, if that makes sense!
).
I just spent a few hours with my best friend who was visiting from out of town at the home of my lesbian friends. I had an earache and on is a PA, so she offered to take a look at it for me. This is what I have come to: I feel comfortable being around both of them if I am ALONE. I understand that it is not right and it is not HF's design, but where can my children draw the line? So I decided I don't want to be in their home with my children if both partners are there. I see the baby's birth mom a lot through LLL and our breastfeeding coalition. I feel it is okay to be around her with my children because they don't really see the "whole" picture when only one is there, if that makes sense. We stopped by the other night to drop off some homeopathic teething remedies for their baby. We only stayed a few minutes. As we left I thought, "How long before Jacob realizes there are two moms?" And just like lightning he asked, "Where's C's dad?" I was dumbstruck. I just answered, "I don't know." I don't want to give him the whole story of, "Well, some kids have two moms," etc., because I don't want to present it in a normal light. My best friend got along very well with these gals -- they are some of the nicest people I know -- but she made the comment that they seem like they are trying to play house and make something work that wasn't designed to work...
I guess I just think humans need human love, and many times they will get it wherever they get it. Oftentimes childhood abuse does factor into these things. It is confusing and I still vacillate a bit about my personal relationship with them. But I feel firmly in the decisions I have made for my children.