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LDS Mamas #12

6K views 207 replies 20 participants last post by  leavesarebrown 
#1 ·
Here tis. Did I do it right?
 
#127 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by Laurel
I needed to use my faith to take that step into the darkness and that the witness would
be there. So I decided that even though I didn't know *for sure*, I would tell James that
night
I can relate to this because my friend and I both had parents who had marriage problems
for a time (hers got divorced) and we both always said, "I'm never going to get married
until I know FOR SURE that he's the right one." So of course, I expected when the time
came that it would be this huge miraculous experience that would make me know about
the person I was going to marry! It didn't exactly happen that way...

Dh and I were in the same BYU ward and the girls in my apartment and the guys in his all
were friends and hung out a lot. He had a girlfriend, so I never really had interest in him,
and I was friends with his girlfriend too. I did think he was funny, cool, and cute though.
We knew each other and were friends for a year before we started dating. I didn't even
know that he and his girlfriend had broken up (again) so when he called me one night to
go play broom hockey with a bunch of people I didn't think of it as a date. We really
clicked and had a good time.

One funny thing I remembered, one day driving to the airport with a room mate and her
sister and marriage came up. I mentioned that I was SO not ready to get married. Dh said
he wasn't either. Hahaha! We had no idea was in store for us! It's funny cause ever
since I graduated at 17 from High School I always thought that all I really wanted was to
settle down and get married. It wasn't until around a month before dh and I started dating
that I had come to think of all the things I would like to do before I got married and I
wanted to date a ton and move down with my parents so that I would be able to go to
school easier without having to work full time like I was. I was just beginning to feel like
I had so much life ahead of me that I thought would be hard to do being married.

One day I was at his apartment and asked if anyone wanted to go to SLC with me because
I had a certificate to a restaurant. He was the only one who could go. So we drove up
together and it was the coolest time. We walked around temple square and hung out and
talked while enjoying the view from the Joseph Smith Memorial building. I mentioned
him and his ex girlfriend breaking up and he didn't say much, just that they were at
different points in their lives. It was a nice night, you could tell there was an energy
between us. On the way home I let him drive my car. Well it ended up overheating! We
even had to put out a fire. I was SO stressed. He felt so bad.
I think things would have probably moved so much faster for us if that hadn't happened.
I think that the adversary knew that car problems stressed me out and that might make me
hold off on things with dh. He knew that if we got together it would only be for good!

We did keep dating but I held off kissing him for a few weeks because I wanted to make
sure that he didn't want to get back with his old girlfriend since she was MAD at me! I
guess she assumed that they would get back together and she thought that I stole him
from her. Whatever.
He finally kissed me after a date on Valentine's Day. How sweet.


I had already planned to stay with my sister after the term was over to help her, and after
that I was going to go live with my parents and go to school full time. So after 3 months
of dating we had to say good-bye.
It was sad and hard. We hadn't said I love you yet,
so the night or 2 before I was to leave he said, "I think I'm falling in love with you, and
your leaving!" LOL, I told him I loved him too, It seemed he had to build up a lot of
courage to tell me that finally!

We wrote each other and that time away was exactly what we needed. We were able to
better express ourselves through letters and figure out our feelings. In the summer on my
way to my parents house we stopped in Provo for a few days. Those were the best days
we've ever had. We were so happy and just had a great time being together. The day
before I left we went out on a date with others, then just the 2 of us sat on the front porch
talking, and he asked, "Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be
married?" It felt so weird talking about marriage with someone! We ultimately decided
to think and pray about it more, since I was leaving in the morning. I just remember
feeling so happy and at peace that night.

The time at my parents was a roller coaster ride emotionally. I prayed and fasted so much
to know for sure what I should do. One day I called him and told him I decided to stay
for a year and get some school done. He was so nice about it. I figured if we were meant
to be together then what would a year be?
Then one day I let my mom read one of his letters to me. After she read it she said, "Now
why are you here, and him there? You are both miserable being apart. If you've found
your eternal companion you should be together!" That helped me so much to hear it.
I decided to take a leap of faith after realizing that I felt happy and at peace when we are
together, and that he is a good man and loves me so much.
So I called him and told him I was coming back! We had a 3 month engagement in Provo
and were married in the temple.
2 kids and almost 5 years later we are as happy as can be!

I agree, I'm thankful I was able to make such a smart decision at 19 years old! I've
learned so much since then and changed a lot.

Sorry, I cut and pasted, so I hope it's not too hard to read! I got carried away sorry so long! Thanks for the opportunity to write it out!
 
#128 ·
I'm going to ask Shaun for a blessing today and maybe every day until i can figure this out,but thanks to some stories and comments on this board I am sure I am being prompted as to something with this baby,but not sure what-I'm SO not good at listening to the spirit...

Beth,Tomorrow I have an appt w/Cathy and have a list of things I would rather her not do....such as be the first to touch the baby(if all is well)I want me or shaun to be the first,and I would love to let the baby crawl to the breast,and keep the placenta on for at least 2 hrs...I would ultimately like her to just guard the birth-in case-(she is very competent in skill when needed,as we know from my hemmorage at our first birth.)and otherwise wait a few hours before doing any of her recording and tests...Her attitude is so non-intervention,it is a surprise how much she does intervene,just little things...anyway,I know what you mean.

Having said all that I can't help but think-unless.....I just don't know.Hopefully all this weirdness is just twins?We'll know more tomorrow...Thanks for letting me vent and voice a little.
 
#129 ·
I, too, have enjoyed reading all the "How we met" stories! Mine's a little different than most; I'd really like to share it because dh and I have been going through a little rough patch and I think writing about the beginning of our life together will help me remember some great times and remind me why we're together. I grew up LDS, but with a nonmember dad and in a pretty liberal environment. I had a pretty bad attitude towards most LDS young men--it seemed to me like they had such narrow-minded ideas about the role of women (i.e. SEXIST) and I constantly butted heads with them. The few that I clicked with in high school and BYU became good friends, but we always considered ourselves just buddies--they always dated someone else. I dated here and there, mostly non-members, and had one crazy on-and-off-again relationship with an inactive member, but eventually got tired of the drama and told him sayonara.

When I was in grad school and happily unattached (doubting if I ever wanted to get married), I met my future dh. I was taking flying lessons and got really interested in aerobatics (precision flight manuevers--NOT crazy stunt flying!) and at a contest out in the California desert I met this really kind man who was a heck of a pilot. I could sense from the very beginning that he had a good heart, but wasn't *interested* in him. Well, I kept running into him and we grew to be good friends. Eventually we began dating, sort-of. Bill was a confirmed bachelor and tried to warn me that he wasn't marriage material when I hadn't even mentioned the M word, but eventually he changed his mind as we grew very close and asked me to marry him on a trip we made to Boise (to see if I'd like to live there--we'd both been living in CA but he wanted to move back to his hometown). I said yes, because I loved him and wanted to be with him, but not long afterwards I wondered if this was the right decision, if I was making a big mistake marrying a non-member. I've made many impulsive choices in my life and knew I better be sure about this one...

Fortunately, I had some time by myself soon after his proposal to just think and pray about it. The next month I spent in a little cabin at an artist colony in the CA desert (I had won a fellowship and been planning this retreat for some time). I was supposed to be writing, and I did get a lot of work done, but also spent a lot of time on my knees trying to understand what HF wanted me to do regarding this relationship. And although I know it's not orthodox and not what most LDS mamas would want for their daughters, I did receive undeniable assurance that yes, I was supposed to marry Bill.

He characterizes himself as agnostic although he mentions God a lot, usually in a sentence like, "If there is a God, I hope He..." We've had some pretty good discussions on gospel topics, but right now he doesn't feel a need for organized religion in his life. He's very respectful of my beliefs, though, and I was so glad he didn't pressure me about having sex before we were married because he knew where I stood on that issue--though it was really tough sometimes!

We're now planning dd's blessing (waiting so long so members of my family can be here together) and just found out the first Sunday in Sept. is stake conference (even though I asked the bishop a while ago if that day would be OK). I was looking forward to dh finally attending a sacrament mtg and hearing me bear my testimony, but there must be a reason why this is happening. Maybe he would feel too uncomfortable in the chapel. I hope we can have the blessing at home--does anyone know if that's possible? My bishop didn't know offhand last time I talked to him and was going to get back to me.

Sorry this is so long; thanks for letting me share.

Glad to hear from JennC and ldsmama's reply to JennC that I'm not the only one married to a nonmember--sometimes it makes me feel like an outsider in groups of LDS women, but everyone here is so kind and supportive, and for that I am very grateful.
 
#130 ·
You are all so inspirational! I love all your stories! The "how you met" stories are great....they're starting to make me wonder if I married the right man (after 23 years!) Just kidding


Jenn, I hope you will participate here. I am very new myself but everyone has been wonderful to let me jump in. It's great that you are getting active again. Hopefully your dh will feel a desire to get involved in the church also, but it is something he has to do on his own. It will be a real blessing to your children to be raised in the church.
 
#131 ·
Ruth, I love your story! My sister married a non-member 12 years ago. She had a little girl at the time, out of wedlock, and had just had all kinds of problems with picking the wrong men. She met David on a "1-900" phone line, so of course we ALL thought "here she goes again"! They talked on the phone for weeks, then when they met in person it was "love at first sight." After they were married, my sister decided that she wanted to get involved in the church again and her dh (who is a really great guy) supported her in doing that but had no interest in going himself. Eventually he said that he would like to know more about the church, since he was surrounded by members, lol. But he said he did NOT want missionaries to come. So the ward sent a couple of guys from the Elder's quorum and within a couple of weeks he wanted to be baptized. Since then he has been in a Bishopric and High Council, and is now having his first experiences with scouting! It has been amazing to see the changes in my sister's life, and changes in her dh...but of course these were things that happened when the time was right for them.

I have a friend who is a convert, and her husband is Catholic. When each of her daughter's were born, her dh agreed that she could have them blessed and he would not have them baptized as infants (although he also won't allow them to be baptized at age 8
). Anyway, each of her three daughters were blessed at home in accordance with her husband's wishes and her Bishop's support. You shouldn't have any problem doing this, with your family there it sounds like it will be a great experience.
 
#132 ·
Ruthy -
I can completely relate to the opening comments you made about your background and your "meeting your partner" story. I too have hesitated to share my story after reading through all the other posts. My experience has been so different from most within the church.

I was raised in a part member family (mother is member, dad was not) and one side of my extended family is Catholic. I am the youngest of 3 children with 2 older brothers (who are both very smart and professionally successful). I grew up feeling like I needed to excel in order to be accepted by my family members. So, I pursued education (including grad school) and put other things (like the concept of marriage) on the back burner. I wasn't concerned about leaving Utah (with a B.A. and no husband) unlike some of my male friends who cautioned me against it.

I had a history of dating men that were "wrong for me"... men who were commitment phobic (like me) and who weren't ready for marriage (like me) and who were a little "left" of mainstream. I just wasn't compatible with Mormon men, no matter how hard I tried to find common ground/interests.

During grad school, I met the loml (thanks for the suggestion ldsmama, I'll use both acronyms) after a year long relationship ended with a man I met in the singles ward in northern VA. My dh and I met after my roommate and a good friend of his starting dating (we thought at the time). So, when his friend would come to see my roommate, the 4 of us would hang out and talk. I was actually dating a guy from grad school at the time and my future dh told me he thought he didn't stand a chance when, one saturday night, he arrived at our apartment and saw a bouquet of roses. I had gone out to a formal event with this guy from my master's program. I told him later (within a few weeks) that I would have preferred to stay home with the 3 of them and talk rather than go out to this formal with the grad school guy.

Anyway, dh asked me out on our first date (to a professional hockey game) on President's Day 1995. I told him I couldn't go because I had TONS of reading to do for class and research for a paper. He was persistent and for some reason I relented. I told him he was the "devil on my shoulder" trying to tempt me when I should be studying! After hearing (accidentally) how much the hockey tickets cost (way too much money for a 1st date), I felt obligated to make him dinner or something. I invited him to dinner the following Sunday after church but I warned him I was making baked salmon and I'm from Seattle, what do you expect?

Well, he was not a fish-eater at the time but he apparently (as he relayed it to me later) wanted to see me enough to risk death by seafood! (btw, he now loves salmon!) Our next date was a spur of the moment movie and I tried hard to get my roommate (the same one who initially introduced us) to go with us cause I was starting to get a little nervous... she denied my invitation despite my pleadings and dh and I went alone to our first movie together. Oh, yeah, the mutual friends who introduced us ended up not dating after all, they were just friends...

Long story (very long) short -- we continued to date after I stopped dating the grad school guy (who was expressing interest in learning about the gospel but later I realized, and I don't mean this in any arrogant way, he wasn't interested in the church just being with me). And after 6-12 months of seeing each other exclusively, we started getting more comfortable with the idea of commitment (despite the fact that neither of us had good role models for happy, healthy marriages). My dh was the one who said I love you first (he said it slowly and I thought he was going to say, "I love.. your hair.." or something else about me but I wasn't anticipating him saying "I... love... YOU." The commitment phob that I was, I did not return the sentiment but rather, told him that I really wanted to take things slowly because I didn't want to screw things up by going too fast. He understood completely, respected my need to slow down, and he backed off a little (and if I remember right, didn't repeat that phrase until I was more comfortable with the idea).

He reminds me to this day that I was a "limp fish" the first time he kissed me... I had it in my head that if I was going to find the right partner for this life (and beyond), that we needed to become best friends FIRST and later, romantic partners... (I don't know if I was trying to relive a past relationship - one in which I was hurt pretty badly -- or what but I thought getting romanticallly involved before a strong friendship had been established, over a long period of time, meant the relationship was doomed.

Anyway, dh was patient and he proved me wrong... we developed the friendship faster than I anticipated and so we become romantically involved faster than my original comfort level as well.

I was committed to finishing grad school (huge stress) before starting to plan a coast-to-coast wedding. So, we had a long engagement, after I graduated from grad school and recovered from pneumonia (there's a definite mind-body connection when it comes to stress management), we planned our Seattle wedding from Washington DC. And during that time, I started my job in the intelligence community and started to do international travel for work.

From first date to wedding day was 2 1/2 years. Definitely not the norm within the Church. For us, with our family background, we really needed time to learn to trust completely. We did not want to emulate the marriages of our parents. Although we felt spiritual confirmation earlier than when we officially got engaged, it took awhile to logistically make it all happen. Being in the same time zone is really important! By the time we were officially engaged, we already felt mentally and emotionally committed (with marriage being the end goal). It was important for me, especially, to have time to work through some important issues before we made it official (and public) that we were going to get married.

The loml and I have been going through a hard time as well and are now doing some emotional work with our goal being a more conscious marriage.. we've read a couple good books (if anyone is interested in titles, pm me) on the subject and I can see progress already. We are more committed to the health and wellbeing of each other, our relationship, and our family (2 little ones) after having started down this path to more conscious living, both in our marriage and in parenting.

thanks for letting me share!
 
#133 ·
Originally posted by ldsmama
"I, too, laughed at the Moroni thing--particularly because the loml has often said that revelation and testimonyfor him has never included "Moroni coming down and doing a tap dance for me."

One reason why I was having a hard time accepting the lack of a dramatic witness was because when I decided to go on a mission, I had a *very* dramatic spiritual experience telling me that I was supposed to serve a mission. So I guess I just assumed that this kind of answer would come with every important decision in my life. Not!

ldsmama also said: "But even when I'm not pregnant I tend to be a worrier. So it's been a challenge for me to learn to distinguish between what is just my own overactive imagination and fear, and what is a real warning or preparation by the Lord."

I am a first-class worrier--probably bordering at times on a true anxiety disorder. It's really out of control at times. I have dealt with the above issue by trying to remember that Heavenly Father *knows* how I am. He knows that I'm anxious a lot of the time. Therefore, He will speak to me in ways that I can understand when He needs to communicate with me. He will not keep me from having discernment as long as I'm continually praying to recognize what's really the spirit.
 
#134 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by Ruthy
sometimes it makes me feel like an outsider in groups of LDS women, but everyone here is so kind and supportive, and for that I am very grateful.
IKWYM! Sometimes its very hard for me to be in Sacrament meeting (he just started going to nursery this month, so I don't have to worry abour Sunday School and RS anymore) because I see all of the families and know that I don't have that. It's just me and Joshua and most of the time Joshua runs around silly and I think that it would be so much easier to just stay home.

I do have 1 friend at church who was married in the Temple but her DH decided a year later that he wanted nothing to do with the church. But she still has her in-laws with her and its just not the same.

I somehow feel as if people are staring at me and looking down on me because of it. It's very hard to me to feel as if I don't "fit in"
 
#135 ·
I hope you'll stick with church even though this is a hard time for you to take Joshua by yourself - he is at the hardest age to get through a meeting! But it's the perfect time for him to learn the routine of going to church and to learn that it is a positive place to be. If you look around the ward, you may start to notice others there who are not in "traditional" families. There may be other mothers there who are along with their kids, either because their spouses are working or they are single or their spouses aren't members. There are likely to be older women who are alone because they are widowed. If you can identify these people and perhaps sit by them and ask for help with Joshua you may develop some great, supportive relationships in the ward. If you have visiting teachers who come, and ask if you "need anything", say "I could really use help with Joshua in sacrament meeting."
 
#136 ·
I guess I need to think of everything I want to say at once! Jenn, I also just wanted to add that I hope you won't feel so isolated as you get to know more people in your ward. Often, on the surface everyone can seem so much alike...but once you really get to know the people you come to realize how different everyone is and that everyone has struggles. What you see on the outside isn't the whole story. Make an effort to get to know some of the sisters and you will see that they all have their problems and insecurities and you can be a great blessing to them.

Did anyone else have circumcision come up in Sunday School yesterday during the lesson in Acts? We had an interesting discussion and I discovered that one guy in the ward is quite ant-circ as he spoke eloquently about how the Jews wanted to force both dietary laws and circumcision on the gentiles. The teacher got things onto another track quickly, in order to get through the lesson, but at the end suggested that everyone look up circumcision in the topical guide and read all the references.
 
#137 ·
I was teaching SS this week, and consciously avoided the circ issue because I didn't trust myself to NOT go off on my own soapbox and NOT rely on the spirit since I feel so strongly about circ. Our lesson turned out to focus on how Philip, Stephen, Paul, Simon, and Ananias responded to their specific "callings"--and what we can learn from their examples about how the Lord and the Spirit work, and how callings can benefit us individually and collectively.

I'm continuing to enjoy the meeting and marriage stories! And it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has a hard time feeling spiritual at church when I'm in and out in and out and when my kids are wiggly wiggly. We're in a good mode now (3 1/2 yr old who loves primary and infant daughter not yet crawling)--but that will end SOON!

I'd like to bring up something that was brought up by a few women on the thread before but not fully discussed and that is how you respond to others in situations which you feel are abusive. Mothernurture, can you say more about the mandatory reporting requirements that you were under as a rape crisis volunteer? And how "abuse" is defined in those circumstances? One problem I have is that "abuse" is such a HUGE trigger word, and defined differently by different people. My definition of abuse is pretty broad, recognizing that not all abuse is criminal. But I still want to eradicate it in my relationships w/ other people. I also recognize that some AP practices are considered abusive by other people (like extended breastfeeding and cosleeping). Some people consider home birth and not vaccine to be forms of "child abuse" or at least neglect. And some healthcare workers might feel an obligation to report on parents like us for those reasons!!!
 
#138 ·
There is a book by Karen Lynn Davidson, which I cannot remember the name of at the moment, in which she addresses various situations in which people feel "different" than others in the church, e.g. being single, being a convert, less active spouse, etc. She has a diagram breaking down different types of families by statistic, and it's amazing to see that there are very few "traditional" families in most wards (two-parent, both active members, with children). We all perceive this to be the norm, but it really isn't. The book's statistics are about 25 years old, too, so I can only imagine how it would break down today. Even if someone has that "normal" family now, chances are they haven't always had it, or won't continue to always have it.

Dh and I were a childless couple for many years and I had too many moments to count of feeling left out and misunderstood. I think almost every woman has reasons in her life which could cause her to feel like she doesn't fit in: working outside the home, being from a different race or culture, being in an unhappy marriage, having rebellious children, parenting differently from others... the list goes on and on.

I think all this goes to show that "fitting in" must be ultimately based on something different than these less changeable characteristics--otherwise not many people would fit in at all. Who would be left? I doubt there were many people who knew how lonely and isolated I felt most of the time, as dh and I were always busily involved in our wards and held "visible" callings, came to every activity, etc. I think most of us are too caught up in worrying about our own trials to spend too much time pointing the finger at others whose situations are different. We think that everyone is staring and us and wondering, but in reality, they're too busy thinking about themselves and their own insecurities to notice that we don't have a child or a spouse sitting next to us at church.
 
#139 ·
Ruthy,
I forgot one last thing... we had our dd's blessing at home when she was 2 1/2 months old. We did it for a couple reasons but primarily because we wanted to have a better experience this time around... (I can pm you more details if you're interested). We had a less than joyful experience when my ds was blessed. We learned lessons from that and decided to do it differently this time. Having her blessing at home was truly amazing. If we were to try to conceive again someday and have another child, we would again chose home blessing rather than in Sacrament Mtg.

It was a beautiful event with a few close friends and family (and our home teacher) in our living room. I could hear everything that my husband said (unlike the first time) and we could chose a time that worked for us personally (and for our baby). The first time we had our reflux baby screaming through the entire blessing.

My husband talked to our bishop several weeks before to explain our desires to have her blessed at home. He was supportive and told us a member of the Bishopric would attend (as it turned out, our bishop's schedule could accommodate ours so he and his wife attended). We held it early on a Monday night (I think 6:30 was the time) so it wouldn't interfere with other people's family home evenings.

I highly recommend home blessing to anyone who is interested in a more intimate setting than the chapel. As well as for people who need to accommodate out of town visitors (my husband wanted my father in law to stand in the blessing circle and they were flying in from PA for a short period of time that did not coincide with fast Sunday... but even if it had, we would have chosen home blessing).

I had first heard of home blessings the year before when our home teacher blessed his daughter at home because they preferred that setting to the chapel. After that, I heard from a friend that her 2nd and 3rd children were blessed at home, to accommodate visiting family from out of town.

Good luck!
 
#140 ·
I love reading how-we-met stories, and I really think ours is sweet ...

Dh and I were in the same group of young freshmen friends at college in LA. We all became really really good friends. Halfway through our sophomore year we started really becoming "bosom friends" as AofGG called it, and by the end of the semester (during the Rodney King riots) we decided we "really liked" each other.We wrote lots of letters all summer (about three huge ones a week each) and learned a lot about our spirituality, etc. I was LDS, dh was not, and I was really nervous about that (previous conflicted relationship). But I felt right about pursuing the relationship. That summer I sent him a book of Mormon. During our Jr. year, he read the whole Bible, the Book of Mormon, and then prayed about it. He then proposed right at the end of the schoolyear our junior year. We were engaged two full years (definitely not LDS standard)--that's a whole other story but confirmed by the Spirit (despite what 2 bishops said) and we were married in the SD temple
.

We've been on vacation in OR for three weeks, and now we're moving to another townhouse across town, so I won't be posting very often these few weeks. But I love this topic ...
 
#141 ·
Welcome, Jenn C.-- Glad you found us!

Does anyone else want to contribute to the roster? I only have information for four of us. Just PM me with things like your name, husband's name, kids' names, where you live--and all of that is optional. Just your username and kids' ages would be great, too. Anything that helps us keep track of who's who. I could compile info. from everyone's sig lines, but I don't feel comfortable doing even that without your permission. So, let me know, then I'll try to PM it to everyone in the next few days.

KindRedSpirit--I'm feeling concerned about you. Please let us know how your appointment goes and feel free to discuss your concerns here if you need to.
 
#142 ·
Welcome JennC!!!
Glad to have you here! I hope you are able to get to know some of the other sisters in your ward soon. I often, OFTEN feel that I wish I had some sort of streaming, digital banner attached to the back of my head that said "I may look normal and like any other woman in church today...but I'm not!" So maybe I feel the opposite of you....I blend into the "LDS Norm" so well that many people just assume that I am "normal"...when in real actuallity I am weird!!
...okay..not "weird"...maybe just different....weird in a good way!!! I don't have any identifiable markers that say who I am inside (as most of us don't) .....I even started shaving my legs!!!! That was my last identifiable marker!!! :p

Bekka- it is so great to see you here again...I've been wondering about you and how you're doing. Congratulations on the move...hope everything goes well.


Stacy- you guys got engaged almost as quickly as we did!!


"I'm never going to get married until I know FOR SURE that he's the right one." ....reading this statement made me have butterflies in my stomach for a minute thinking about how little prayer and thought went into getting engaged to my dh four days after beginning to "date" and what a HUGE decision was made back when I was so young and immature and all that!!!! Actually thinking about it in those terms suddenly creates a lot of butterflies in my stomach!!! I am so thankful that Heavenly Father is the loving Father that he is and basically carried me through that time when I needed him to basically push me in the right direction.
He's so cool!!


Ruthy- my sis in law and bro had their baby blessed at home for the same reasons mothernurture stated. You can also have your baby blessed on another sunday...it doesn't have to be on a fast sunday if you want your dh to have the experience of attending sacrament meeting. I think our next children will be blessed at home. Our last baby wanted to be nursing right at the time when she was supposed to be blessed...so I had to de-latch her so she could be blessed and she was NOT happy about that so I didn't even get to hear any of her blessing because she was crying during it!!!! URGH!!! My sis in laws also recorded their children's blessings so they could write them down for them to read as they got older...I think we will also do this with our next. We tried it with our first, but the tape recorder in my dh's pocket malfunctioned adn didn't record anything.
Oh well.


Laurel- you're how we met story fits you so well!!
I love how all of these stories help us to know one another better. I can't wait until we can all meet irl. For those of you within driving distance....the MDC camping get together is the last weekend in september in Moab, Utah...I hope some of you can make it. Chumani will be there with her family. I plan on all of us who are LDS attending a local ward there on sunday together.
 
#143 ·
I wanted Dallin blessed in church. I sat through dozens of baby blessings during the years we waited for him, and I wanted to enjoy my turn. I wanted to see my dh hold him up for everyone to ooh and aah over. He was seven months old, so that was kind of interesting--he was pretty heavy and they almost dropped him, plus he didn't just lay there like a newborn.

I can relate to the feelings of those who would prefer a home blessing, though. Dallin got two teeth the week he was sealed, was totally miserable and fussy, and cried through the entire sealing ceremony. I could barely hear what the sealer said, and was so disconcerted that I could hardly pay attention anyway. It was a big disappointment for me as I spent a lot of months dreaming of that day as the big spiritual occasion that would make up for not giving birth. It was cold and windy outside and we hardly got to take any pictures because my poor baby wouldn't tolerate it. It took me some time to come to terms with our less-than-perfect experience.
 
#146 ·
Actually the ward I go to now is the ward I was baptized in and the only ward I have ever belonged to even though I live in the boundaries of the second ward.

I go there because there are people there that I went to high school/seminary/ YW's with. Eventually I will move on to the second ward when I work up the nerve.

Can you tell I hate change and I hate to be the outsider?
 
#147 ·
lsdmama: About the SS lesson, the circ part is just a small part of the lesson (we had it last week). It got a little more mention in our ward because one class member had very strong feelings about it not being required any longer (my dh and I didn't even say anything). He just had his say, which were very thought provoking comments, and the teacher went on. Then the teacher suggested at the end that we look up circumcision in the TG and read ALL the references. I think you'll be fine if you stick to what the scriptures say and let people read the facts there.

youngnhappy: the get together in Moab sounds so fun! I live in Utah, bt at the extreme north end of the state so it's a pretty long trip to Moab. It sounds like something we'd enjoy but I doubt we'd be able to pull off. You'll have to keep us posted on everything that happens............
 
#148 ·
KindRedspirit---Is everything okay? I'm wondering how you are doing as well.
I know I sometimes have a hard time trying to discern if my feelings/thoughts are from the Spirit or just me. I don't think I've ever really 'heard a voice' really. But I've come to decide that if we are doing all the things that are required of us--reading scriptures, praying, attending church--then I don't think that we can be lead too far astray. I think that the Lord will help us do what is right even if we have a hard time trying to figure things out.

I don't think I said welcome to Jenn yet--


Good luck with the Sunday school lessons. I can't hear ours since I got called into the primary.
 
#149 ·
I have caught up! So much to say and respond to...

Alissa, I was very interested in reading what you wrote about your 4 day labor. I guess I was not aware that moms can stall their labors if they are having issues they do not want to focus on. It was not until I read Elizabeth Davis' book that I learned that, and it makes so much sense! Like she states too, any mammal, when feeling stress, can stop her labor until she is in a more comfortable environment.

Stacymom, I too have found that sometimes I let my monsters run around until they fall, and then I leave them where they lay. Sometimes they are nursed to sleep, sometimes they fall asleep in my room or their room or the living room -- we live in a small apartment, so when they need me they can easily find me. My kids do not go to bed until after 11 most days. But my kids have always slept in until 9, at least.

What else? I have loved reading the how we met stories. I think simply because one is not married to a member it makes the experience any less spiritual. Like the story I wrote of my friend, no one ever thought she would join the church, especially after having started the discussions 5 times. I think many time people are paired up with none members just for these reasons. My mom married many non-members in her time, and I think the last one could have actually been converted, but my mom was not a good example. She drank wine and coffee, went to church only when her life was in turmoil, never held Sunday as an important day. I really feel if she had been a better example he might have joined the Church (but they are divorced now).

I, too, am a worrier. I am always wondering if hearing things is setting me up for something in my own life. And yes, I can say it is probably borderline a medical problem. I have to remind myself the Lord brings peace. In my patriarchal blessing it says not to focus on negative things, and I know when I hyper-worry it is not of the Lord. He does know me, and that is why he told me that in my blessing!

Laurel, although we sound like we have very different personalities, our stories seem similar, maybe in that we had feelings and followed those, not following the feelings of our dhs. I know all the time I was trying to follow up on the initial experience I had, Brad was in no way ready for me or even thinking of me like I was of him. It was a trial of faith.

Jenn, it is wonderful to have you here! My mom likes to remind me of you teach a man, you touch one person; if you teach a woman you touch a family. I know straight across the board that is not true, but I have seen so many part-member families where the mom os a member versus where it is the dad. I heard Dr. Laura say the other day the reason men serve in many church callings exclusively is because they need more refining in these matters. Spirituality comes more naturally for women. Again, not entirely true, but I think it is an accurate generalization, if there is such a thing. It reminds me of the lesson we had in Relief Society Sunday, "Come follow me as I follow Christ." Live your life the way you feel good about it, and you can't help but be an example for good to your family.

I have probably forgotten many other things I wanted to comment on, but oh well.

An exciting bit of news! Friday I got an email from a LLL Leader in Santa Rosa who will be moving here this week! We have been in such great need for more leaders, and this is an answer to prayer! I cannot wait to meet her!

Alissa, I am wondering, though, how you integrate a new leader, do you have any experience with this? You can pm me or email me if you want. I know it should not be a big deal, but I am worrying about it
.
 
#150 ·
Hey,thanks for your concern.The appt went well,good heartbeat of ONE baby.Measuring 29 weeks at 27 though.....I'll take that as a pat on the back for eating exeptionally well the first 5 months.(I tend to slack on weekends now,and pay for it...)Anyway,I am feeling much more at peace about thew whole thing now,even though I asked Shaun for a blessing 3 times and still haven't got one...(he says he needs oil).
So thankyou
 
#151 ·
I don't want to minimize anything, but many moms do feel strange about successive babies, especially when things have gone very well with the first one or two. It seems like tempting fate to have more, kwim? But I actually read somewhere each time a woman has another child and things are, more or less "normal" her chances of continuing that way are increased, not decreased. Strange huh? Nevertheless, I hope the blessing brings you the comfort and peace you are longing for.
 
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