Quote:
Originally posted by Laurel
I needed to use my faith to take that step into the darkness and that the witness would
be there. So I decided that even though I didn't know *for sure*, I would tell James that
night |
I can relate to this because my friend and I both had parents who had marriage problems
for a time (hers got divorced) and we both always said, "I'm never going to get married
until I know FOR SURE that he's the right one." So of course, I expected when the time
came that it would be this huge miraculous experience that would make me know about
the person I was going to marry! It didn't exactly happen that way...
Dh and I were in the same BYU ward and the girls in my apartment and the guys in his all
were friends and hung out a lot. He had a girlfriend, so I never really had interest in him,
and I was friends with his girlfriend too. I did think he was funny, cool, and cute though.
We knew each other and were friends for a year before we started dating. I didn't even
know that he and his girlfriend had broken up (again) so when he called me one night to
go play broom hockey with a bunch of people I didn't think of it as a date. We really
clicked and had a good time.
One funny thing I remembered, one day driving to the airport with a room mate and her
sister and marriage came up. I mentioned that I was SO not ready to get married. Dh said
he wasn't either. Hahaha! We had no idea was in store for us! It's funny cause ever
since I graduated at 17 from High School I always thought that all I really wanted was to
settle down and get married. It wasn't until around a month before dh and I started dating
that I had come to think of all the things I would like to do before I got married and I
wanted to date a ton and move down with my parents so that I would be able to go to
school easier without having to work full time like I was. I was just beginning to feel like
I had so much life ahead of me that I thought would be hard to do being married.
One day I was at his apartment and asked if anyone wanted to go to SLC with me because
I had a certificate to a restaurant. He was the only one who could go. So we drove up
together and it was the coolest time. We walked around temple square and hung out and
talked while enjoying the view from the Joseph Smith Memorial building. I mentioned
him and his ex girlfriend breaking up and he didn't say much, just that they were at
different points in their lives. It was a nice night, you could tell there was an energy
between us. On the way home I let him drive my car. Well it ended up overheating! We
even had to put out a fire. I was SO stressed. He felt so bad.
I think things would have probably moved so much faster for us if that hadn't happened.
I think that the adversary knew that car problems stressed me out and that might make me
hold off on things with dh. He knew that if we got together it would only be for good!
We did keep dating but I held off kissing him for a few weeks because I wanted to make
sure that he didn't want to get back with his old girlfriend since she was MAD at me! I
guess she assumed that they would get back together and she thought that I stole him
from her. Whatever.
He finally kissed me after a date on Valentine's Day. How sweet.
I had already planned to stay with my sister after the term was over to help her, and after
that I was going to go live with my parents and go to school full time. So after 3 months
of dating we had to say good-bye.
It was sad and hard. We hadn't said I love you yet,
so the night or 2 before I was to leave he said, "I think I'm falling in love with you, and
your leaving!" LOL, I told him I loved him too, It seemed he had to build up a lot of
courage to tell me that finally!
We wrote each other and that time away was exactly what we needed. We were able to
better express ourselves through letters and figure out our feelings. In the summer on my
way to my parents house we stopped in Provo for a few days. Those were the best days
we've ever had. We were so happy and just had a great time being together. The day
before I left we went out on a date with others, then just the 2 of us sat on the front porch
talking, and he asked, "Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be
married?" It felt so weird talking about marriage with someone! We ultimately decided
to think and pray about it more, since I was leaving in the morning. I just remember
feeling so happy and at peace that night.
The time at my parents was a roller coaster ride emotionally. I prayed and fasted so much
to know for sure what I should do. One day I called him and told him I decided to stay
for a year and get some school done. He was so nice about it. I figured if we were meant
to be together then what would a year be?
Then one day I let my mom read one of his letters to me. After she read it she said, "Now
why are you here, and him there? You are both miserable being apart. If you've found
your eternal companion you should be together!" That helped me so much to hear it.
I decided to take a leap of faith after realizing that I felt happy and at peace when we are
together, and that he is a good man and loves me so much.
So I called him and told him I was coming back! We had a 3 month engagement in Provo
and were married in the temple.
2 kids and almost 5 years later we are as happy as can be!
I agree, I'm thankful I was able to make such a smart decision at 19 years old! I've
learned so much since then and changed a lot.
Sorry, I cut and pasted, so I hope it's not too hard to read! I got carried away sorry so long! Thanks for the opportunity to write it out!