I would like to comment on the topic of marital initimacy in relationship with being a parent. It took me a good while to connect the two, which is funny because marital intimacy is what made me a parent!
I finally came to a personal epiphany about accepting the circle of life. From puberty to marriage to intimacy to giving birth to nursing and so on. All functions, experience and attitudes of our body, mind, and spirit that draw us into this beautiful circle of life.
I think it has helped me have amazing experiences in childbirth because I am more able to accept my body, to feel the connectedness of my body to the powers that God has given us.
With that frame of mind I was finally able to feel good about my sexuality. Being intimate with my husband didn't mean I had to forget I was a mommy, it was so freeing!
I still needed to jump up and take care of a wakeful baby in the middle of a 'moment', but I could go back (or pardon me, nurse while, only a few times) we continued.
I have struggled, going back and forth between feeling that sex is a beautiful, righteous gift to... something that is an enigma and I don't understand how I should feel.
I think it stems from having NO positive reinforcement growing up about the wonder of being a woman. My mom didn't even tell me about my period and she had 6 girls! I forgive her, her childhood was very hard.
One thing I absolutely love about being married to dh is that he has helped my joy in my womanhood. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Despite the stretch marks and post-partum breasts, etc...things are better than they ever have been. And he makes me feel so happy to be a woman and a mother.
I'm not sure if this the correct idea, maybe I need some redirection--- but don't feel it underminds the sanctity/sacredness of marital intimacy to learn about it (in a positive and righteous way.) I have really enjoyed talking with my sister at great length and detail (I call her the Birth goddess
) about intimacy. We don't talk about the details of our husbands, it's mostly ideas and feeling and from our points of view.
That lds intimacy book I mentioned says that for lds youth we are told no, you better not, and don't even think about it! Then we get married and we have to turn this switch on and the counsel is now "you better"! I laughed at this because I really struggled with that transition.
Well, I've gone on and on here. I either read and don't post often, or post a huge long message that I fear I may bore you!
Thanks for letting me do this,
Quincy
ps--mothernurture, I'm about 20 miles southeast of Portland in a small, funny logging town. Is your suburb south of seattle?