Mothers of Highly Sensitive Children - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 11-09-2007, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There was a thread like this around here somewhere, but I can't find it. I need some love right now, where are you?

I'm struggling most right now with DS, who is 3. He is so STUCK to me, and I'm getting touched out constantly. I'm also highly sensitive so that plays into it too. We don't go anywhere without me carrying him, and he's pretty heavy, and a carrier isn't practical most of the time. I was at a friend's house yesterday--we sat down, both kids on my lap. My friend was babysitting some other toddlers we'd never met, and they walked right up to make friends. They touch me, talk to me, climb on me. : Maybe this isn't entirely healthy either but it's hard for me not to wish that my kids would be just a tiny bit more outgoing once in a while.

Anyone else with a HSC who always needs to be carried?

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#2 of 4 Old 11-09-2007, 02:50 PM
 
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I just posted this over in Special Needs.. I needed this thread, too:


I don't know if I should post here, or what I should say even.

My daughter was super intense, from birth. The loudest baby in the hospital. I thought it was due to being born via C-section.

For months, it took hours to nurse her. She would literally scream at the breast after every gulp. She was my first; now that I have more experience BFing I think perhaps my letdown was either too slow or too fast, or maybe the milk tasted funny. I can't believe I nursed her for nearly 2 years! I'm so glad that I did, though, because I know that without the feel-good hormones I received from BFing I'd have lost my mind.

She can't take loud noises - scared to death of the toilet flushing in public bathrooms, her younger brother humming to himself in the car sends her into outerspace. She'll scream and cry.

She is now 4.

She has a hard time understanding verbal directions. She took a gymnastics class, and that's when another mom asked me if she had Sensory Integration Disfunction or disorder... I made an appointment with her (holistic) ped who referred us to an occupational therapist. In the time between the referral and her first evaluation, she entered preschool and has made leaps and bounds.

I just got her report.

She's actually doing quite well but has some problems with proprioception - knowing where her body is in space? Also, her visual muscles aren't so good, she can't "track"; she has trouble sitting cross-legged; she has problems understanding directions; she has less fine motor coordination than most kids her age.


I have gotten so frustrated with her sometimes... I thought she just wasn't listening to me... I knew something wasn't quite right... But she's so crazy intellectual and verbal that I thought maybe she'd "get over it"...

I'm having a hard time being patient with her... I feel like a bad mama because I've been depressed lately (very rare for me!) and haven't been as tolerant as I should be...

The OT says Abi is actually borderline with this, that they think they can get her on track to within "normal parameters" quickly because her symptoms are so mild...

I was so stressed during my pregnancy with her... she was stewed in stress hormones. I feel sure that's part of the problem. We tried to conceive for over a year and when I got pg with her I was a total nutcase.

I'm sorry to be all over the place with this post, I'm sort of floored and not doing so great right now anyway so I'm a bit scattered.

Any words of advice or things I can do to help her cope would be welcome. A few months ago I tossed noisy and plasticy stuff out of the house, now we're all wood/organic/natural, with themed play areas scattered through the house. It seems to help, having less, and having things organized - she wouldn't play before that, it was like she was overwhelmed. Now she'll play with her wood kitchen and has just started loving dolls! (If you have a myspace account you can see her and her brother playing with those things by clicking on my siggy "mama" link). I can't tell you how happy I am to see her play.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble like this...
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#3 of 4 Old 11-09-2007, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ramble away! We need a place to chat without being judged. I was just going to come back here and say something positive because I felt that my first post was quite negative, when I actually am very happy with my highly sensitive family.

daekini, I love the way you organized your house, it sound like it helped a lot. I feel that we have too much 'stuff' too and we'd be happier with less--it's just something I feel instinctively. I love space and light and I'm sure it helps my kids too.

My kids don't have SID but it many ways High Sensitivity and SID overlap--there are so many similarities and I looked into it for DS. But when I read the Highly Sensitive Child every word descirbed my children exactly.

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#4 of 4 Old 11-09-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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I work at a bookstore on Friday nights, maybe I'll pick up that book tonight.

I don't think Abi has been diagnosed with SID - she's pretty much on the border. I need to ask, though. She does have some of the symptoms, like poor trunk strength.

I'm still navigating through all this. The house organizing/simplifying definitely helps. Clutter seems to make her bonkers.
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