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Old 03-03-2008, 10:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Didn't see a new thread posted so I thought I would start one for us.

I hope March has started out well for everyone. We're about to see DH off for 6 weeks of BOLC2 starting this week. I'm sad to see him go, and even more sad for DS but I know it will be over before we know it. We found out today that we have affordable housing waiting for us in Arizona for BOLC3 so that's one less thing I have to worry about.

Those with LO's under 1, how did they do upon DH's return after being gone for a while?

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Old 03-03-2008, 11:01 PM
 
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Ok I posted this in the Jan-Feb thread but since we're starting a new one for March I thought I'd post it here instead:

DH is deployed and we've been arguing about taxes. I've pretty much backed down cause I really don't know what I'm talking about.

SO I thought I would talk to you ladies.

Pretty much the issue is whether or not to file jointly. He says it's pointless because I didn't make over 10 grand (I was pregnant during '07 and didn't work during the pregnancy). And he says we'd get more money back if he just claims me and DS as dependents.

He's right, right? Cause I really don't know... Thanks!
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Old 03-03-2008, 11:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by jacquelinej11 View Post
Ok I posted this in the Jan-Feb thread but since we're starting a new one for March I thought I'd post it here instead:

DH is deployed and we've been arguing about taxes. I've pretty much backed down cause I really don't know what I'm talking about.

SO I thought I would talk to you ladies.

Pretty much the issue is whether or not to file jointly. He says it's pointless because I didn't make over 10 grand (I was pregnant during '07 and didn't work during the pregnancy). And he says we'd get more money back if he just claims me and DS as dependents.

He's right, right? Cause I really don't know... Thanks!
Whoever does your taxes can go over the pros and cons for what would be best based on the particulars of your family. They can determine exactly what you'd get back in either situation. If you're doing them online I believe you can do the same thing depending on what program you use.

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Old 03-03-2008, 11:39 PM
 
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well we left dh in georgia on Saturday, so that put our March off to a sucky start. Oh, and dh also got to inform me that his deployment has already been extended by 6 weeks. and they haven't even left the states yet {that's later this week unless things change}
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Old 03-04-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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ok forgive me...i started reading the first page of the last thread but didn't finish...

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Originally Posted by MiaMama View Post
Hi,
My husband has been in the Army for almost 10 years, but we have only been married for 2. He definitely intentionally keeps me at a distance from everything military related, so I am an army wife but not an "Army Wife" if you know what I mean. We have always lived off-post, I have only been to one FRG meeting ever, and I have a bit of trouble keeping up with all the lingo. I guess it has had its benefits for him to do it this way, but now that he is deployed, I have no military support system. I went back home to be with my friends and family (and left all of our stuff in storage at our duty station) but none of them have any clue what I am really going through because it is soooooo outside their realm of experience. Not only that, but I don't know how to go to the Dr. here, because I am out of the tri-west area. I know I can go to the ER, but I am under the impression that I can not go to a reg. appt. because the army did not sponsor my move back. Is that true?

Anyway, I was hoping you gals could be my military-wife tutors and also my e-shoulders to cry on. Nice to meet you all!
we've only been in for 3 yrs and we started at this base not only newlyweds but new parents in a whole new state and i have never felt like i fit in, dh never tells me whats going with coworkers or any stuff that wives are doing (if they do anything) so i still feel out of the loop. we even lived on base for 18 months but lived in the old houseing and there were only 4 people on our street so there was certainly no way to interact in that aspect. i always feel like we get the short end of the stick and it wasn't fair. plus we've had INCREDIBLE luck that dh has never deployed or tdy or anything so we've never had to get involved with that at all....

Quote:
Originally Posted by jacquelinej11 View Post
DH is deployed and we've been arguing about taxes. I've pretty much backed down cause I really don't know what I'm talking about.

SO I thought I would talk to you ladies.

Pretty much the issue is whether or not to file jointly. He says it's pointless because I didn't make over 10 grand (I was pregnant during '07 and didn't work during the pregnancy). And he says we'd get more money back if he just claims me and DS as dependents.

He's right, right? Cause I really don't know... Thanks!
hmm...i have no clue! i use the free online program from militaryonesource so i never even questioned this but i thought you could only claim dependents if they were kids??!!! i hope we got everything we should have. we got a HUGE refund this year...which honestly hardly makes up for the low pay. although the pay always seems to be caught between the poverty and the middle class line it works well for the taxes! lol.

katie where are you going to be in az? we're at DM.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:02 AM
 
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Didn't see a new thread posted so I thought I would start one for us.

I hope March has started out well for everyone. We're about to see DH off for 6 weeks of BOLC2 starting this week. I'm sad to see him go, and even more sad for DS but I know it will be over before we know it. We found out today that we have affordable housing waiting for us in Arizona for BOLC3 so that's one less thing I have to worry about.

Those with LO's under 1, how did they do upon DH's return after being gone for a while?
I'm in AZ at the moment although we won't be here much longer. We've been at DM for 5 looong years so far. Dh is deployed and when he gets home he'll be on terminal leave, he gets out in May! yay!

My ds was 4 mos old the first time my dh deployed and he was 8 mos old when he came home. He did totally fine. I was a total wreck since I still had all those post partum hormones and it was the first deployment but ds was alright. When dh got home there was a bit of a learning curve but dh hadn't bonded real well before he left so that was part of it. I tried not to hover and would purposely leave dh alone with ds for an hour or two so they could work out their new relationship. For this current deployment dd was 5 mos old when he left and will be 9 mos old when he returns. I think she did notice he was gone and when she catches a glimpse of his pictures she smiles...she loves to watch the video he made before he left of him singing songs and reading stories. I think that he will be able to adjust to her more quickly when he comes home. Mostly because it's obvious she still remembers him and because they had a very very strong bond prior to his leaving...sometimes I felt he was more maternal towards her than I was! lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jacquelinej11 View Post
Ok I posted this in the Jan-Feb thread but since we're starting a new one for March I thought I'd post it here instead:

DH is deployed and we've been arguing about taxes. I've pretty much backed down cause I really don't know what I'm talking about.

SO I thought I would talk to you ladies.

Pretty much the issue is whether or not to file jointly. He says it's pointless because I didn't make over 10 grand (I was pregnant during '07 and didn't work during the pregnancy). And he says we'd get more money back if he just claims me and DS as dependents.

He's right, right? Cause I really don't know... Thanks!
I'm pretty sure he can't claim you as a dependent. You're his wife not his child. It's my understanding that there is "Married filing jointly" and "Married filing separately." Any of the software will tell you which is best though. You can go to www.irs.gov and find a list of online software that you can do for free. Turbo Tax allows military to use it for free and e-file for free and I've liked them the best so far (Tax Slayer is pretty good too, H&R Block was horrible in my experience).

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Old 03-04-2008, 03:24 AM
 
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I'm so sick of this deployment and so is dh. I don't know why but this one sucks worse than the others. This is his 3rd one in 3 yrs...luckily he's AF so they are only 3-4 mos deployments but they still take a toll, especially on the kids. I think the biggest issue is that he already has one foot out the door...he separates in May. The good news is that once he comes home he'll be on terminal leave right away which is cool. What's also cool is that the rumors are true and he really can separate one day and then return the very next day as a civilian making about $50K more. The bad news is he still has to deploy as a civilian.

This deployment has been so so so hard on my ds who will be 4 in May. He's just so angry. He's starting to throw tantrums like he never has before. I mean before if he got upset he was just upset and would cry and stuff. Now he has a very angry force behind these tantrums and he screams and makes threatning gestures at me. I know he's just angry about dh though. Early this morning he had a nightmare and climbed into bed with me. I asked him what his dream was about and he said he was mad at me and wasn't my friend anymore. He was still half asleep. So I asked him why he didn't want to be friends and he said, "Because daddy left and he's never coming home." He still randomly gets very sad throughout the day and says he's just thinking about and missing daddy. Dh gets to call every 3 days or so and ds will talk to him on the phone a lot (he's quite the phone hog lol) but it seems to make things worse afterwards. We've got pictures of dh up but ds is not really interested in them, although dd likes them. We have a paper chain but I think the concept of time is still just a little beyond him.

Ds just really thinks that dh abandoned us and he doesn't believe he's ever coming back. Ds reacted similar when dh deployed last time and ds was 2 yrs old. He was angry the first few weeks, then refused to talk about him or look at pics of him for the entire deployment. When we needed to go pick him up at the airport he refused to go, refused to get dressed, etc. My mom and I had to force clothes on him, force him into his carseat, and drag him kicking and screaming into the airport. Thankfully as soon as he saw dh he cried out "Daddy!!!" and went running to him and jumped in his arms and was totally fine. I hope it works out that well again.

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Old 03-04-2008, 03:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ugh, I had a big, long post and the MDC post-eating monsters must have taken it. I'm too tired to type it out tonight.

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Old 03-04-2008, 03:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Taxes - He can claim you if you didn't have an income for 2007 and you didn't live in seperate households and you file seperately.

Kaitnbugsmom -

dhinderliter - We'll be at Ft. Huachuca from the end of April until the beginning of August, we won't know our duty station until 3 weeks before we leave AZ. We might even end up staying in AZ, who knows. Can you tell you DH that you want to be more involved? Part of his responsibility is ensuring that you have a support network, especially during deployments.

Shelsi - I like the idea of reading stories on video, DH needed some ideas for what to do with Liam on his video. I'm so sorry DS is having a hard time, I hope their reunion goes well.

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Old 03-04-2008, 04:57 PM
 
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x-posted
wooohoooo it looks like a O'd yesterday, a bit late, but hey who's counting?
will have to see if temp keep climbing and i finally get to be in a TWW, thought i would never get here.

on a personal note i just wanted to share my yesterday with you
(there will be no apologies for TMI, i needed to share)

We packed and closed up a job box trunk that DH was given to send his personal things to Iraq ahead of him. We only found out last minute that he was getting this and so we were not very prepared to make the most of it or deal with it's emotional impact as it sit in the dinning room. It might as well have been a 20 ft tall obelisk with the words "YOU TRUE LOVE IS BEING TAKEN" for the impact it caused.
I busied myself with shopping, gathering and packing, something i do with the same systematic organization that i maintain this list with. We generally made it a nice "together time" and opened a bottle of nice wine and shared stories of the strangest trips or camping we had ever gone on. There was soo much that was NOT said.
As we slipped into bed, both tired and sore (i having a nerve pinchy issue slowly resolving in my upper back, he just got anthrax and typhoid shots, that were killing his arms) We capped off what has been a wonderfully frisky weekend, with BDing that was so caring, I cry now thinking about it. It was also the very first time that we spoke about the thought that we could actually be starting other lives, right then and there as we lay embraced. It is talk that i have kept separated from BDing as to not spook him and especially to avoid him feeling like a vending machine (something that he had expressed worry about) I slept so well.

When i got my temp jump this morning, I told him what that probably meant as he got ready to go. He took a long moment to crawl back into bed, half dressed in his uniform, and just shared the moment. I love him so much.

He ships out mid Spring.

If this day and night is the memory that i have to look back on as the day we started a family, it would be such a powerful one of love, strength, determination and choice. Even if i get pregnant at some other point this night will always have a spot in my heart.

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Old 03-04-2008, 05:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Rivka - : Those smilies sum up exactly how I feel reading your post. I have my fingers crossed that you o'd. From looking at your chart I would have to agree that you did. It makes me so happy to hear what great partners you are to each other, I know you will be equally great as parents. I think all of your AF vibes rubbed off on me because exactly 15 months to the day, AF arrived last weekend. I expected it to take a lot longer so I'm glad that DH and I know when the time is right to conceive again we won't have that interfering with our plans.

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Old 03-04-2008, 05:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jacquelinej11 View Post
Pretty much the issue is whether or not to file jointly. He says it's pointless because I didn't make over 10 grand (I was pregnant during '07 and didn't work during the pregnancy). And he says we'd get more money back if he just claims me and DS as dependents.

He's right, right? Cause I really don't know... Thanks!
your dh can not claim you as a dependent if you are married. the tax benefits of being married are greater than the benefits of you being a dependent, anyway. If you are not married he could possibly claim you but a spouse can never be claimed as a dependent.


I have never posted to the Military Moms thread, but I do try to read it regularly. My dh is navy, and we're currently in Charleston, SC at NNPTC. I always get so overwhelmed by the super long threads, so hopefully getting in early will be easier for me.
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Old 03-04-2008, 06:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is what I found on Tax Act:
Quote:
Your spouse is not your dependent for tax purposes. An exemption for a spouse is based on the marital relationship, not support. On a joint return, each spouse receives an exemption as a taxpayer. The name and Social Security number of each spouse listed on a joint return will be matched by the IRS against computer records of the Social Security Administration. If there is a mismatch, the exemption for that spouse will be disallowed; see 21.10.

On a separate return (as married filing separately or as head of household), you may claim your spouse as an exemption if he or she has no gross income and cannot be claimed as a dependent by another taxpayer. You may not claim an exemption for your spouse who has income, unless you file a joint return that includes that income. For example, if a wife files a separate return, her husband may not claim her as an exemption, even if she filed the return merely for a refund of taxes withheld on her wages.

If your spouse is a nonresident alien, has no income from U.S. sources, and is not a dependent of another person, you may claim an exemption for your spouse on a separate return.
jacquelinej11 - He will definitely get more back if he doesn't claim you, I went through and changed how we filed to if my DH had claimed me and we would have gotten over $1000 less back.

mbhf

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Old 03-04-2008, 09:35 PM
 
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Thanks for the new thread! We're PCSing this month overseas, so things have been really busy around our house. It's like when it rains, it pours: we had a nightmarish experience with the movers, issues with housing company, found out DH will be leaving (for a short trip) right after we get overseas, etc. I will be so glad when this move is over!

A supportive military wife and mama to my busy boy and sweet girl.
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Old 03-05-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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Katie..

My DH left for three weeks when Katie turned four weeks old. Then again for a little over a month when she was 3.5 mos old. She did fine with it.

He actually leaves next Tuesday (Wednesday?) for five + weeks. I'm anticipating more of a problem with this, at least when he returns. She's old enough to understand Da-da being gone but not old enough to understand why. I think she'll do fine when he leaves, but, I bet when he comes back there is going to be CLINGING to Da-da for a while, and not letting him leave the house for a few days.
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Old 03-05-2008, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Katie..

My DH left for three weeks when Katie turned four weeks old. Then again for a little over a month when she was 3.5 mos old. She did fine with it.

He actually leaves next Tuesday (Wednesday?) for five + weeks. I'm anticipating more of a problem with this, at least when he returns. She's old enough to understand Da-da being gone but not old enough to understand why. I think she'll do fine when he leaves, but, I bet when he comes back there is going to be CLINGING to Da-da for a while, and not letting him leave the house for a few days.
Liam is definitely at the age where he is aware of who daddy is, but I don't think he's to the point where he knows he'll be gone. I worry more about him having seperation anxiety with me once DH returns. He's just starting to get to the stage where he screams if I leave the room or am out of his sight. I wonder how much of an adjustment period we're going to have, DH takes over the majority of his care at night to give me a break.

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Old 03-08-2008, 03:25 AM
 
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Just wanted to count myself in, and send hugs out to those of you sending partners off to Iraq. We're Canadian, so that's not going to happen for us, but DH is waiting to hear if he's going to Afghanistan for March 09 (nine month deployment). It would mean a year of pre-training in Edmonton and the big question of whether or not we move to Edmonton to be closer to him, or Vancouver Island to be closer to my parents... we won't qualify for base housing because he's a full time reservist.

Our son is 13 months old, and dh is away for a course this month, which is my first time on my own with the baby. We met when I was in the military, so we've done lots of summers, etc, apart, but it's completely different with the baby at home. He's out drinking with his coursemates tonight and I'm at home at my parent's listening to the baby monitor, trying not to resent his squandering of a full night's sleep
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Old 03-11-2008, 01:45 AM
 
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I know I'm going to feel silly once I hear the answer to this question but can someone please explain to me how the deductible works with Tricare Standard/Extra?

Is the $300 something I will pay at the first doctor's visit? Is it billed to me? I just want to go have my vagina looked at...sheesh! Is that too much to ask for?!
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Old 03-11-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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I know I'm going to feel silly once I hear the answer to this question but can someone please explain to me how the deductible works with Tricare Standard/Extra?

Is the $300 something I will pay at the first doctor's visit? Is it billed to me? I just want to go have my vagina looked at...sheesh! Is that too much to ask for?!
No clue. I'm going to be using my private insurance as much as possible during this deployment. I despise try-to-get-care

Having a bad day today. It would appear I'm the only wife not hearing from her husband in our whole combat team. So I am between sad, mad and scared all at the same time and from one to the other by seconds.
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Old 03-11-2008, 05:55 PM
 
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Ok... so I know this is news no one wants to hear but I really have no one to talk to since I went back home for deployment...

4 guys from my dh troop were hit by an IED and 3 of them didn't make it... Like they've lost people in their regiment before and it really didn't hit home till now... Reality is sinking in I guess?

I knew all of them... One even walked me down the aisle when dh and I got married...

Theres really not much of a question... Guess I'm just really shaken up right now... I dunno... Thanks for reading mamas
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Old 03-11-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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Oh wow, mama! I am so sorry to hear that. I'll be thinking of you...


Quote:
Originally Posted by jacquelinej11 View Post
Ok... so I know this is news no one wants to hear but I really have no one to talk to since I went back home for deployment...

4 guys from my dh troop were hit by an IED and 3 of them didn't make it... Like they've lost people in their regiment before and it really didn't hit home till now... Reality is sinking in I guess?

I knew all of them... One even walked me down the aisle when dh and I got married...

Theres really not much of a question... Guess I'm just really shaken up right now... I dunno... Thanks for reading mamas
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Old 03-11-2008, 07:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok... so I know this is news no one wants to hear but I really have no one to talk to since I went back home for deployment...

4 guys from my dh troop were hit by an IED and 3 of them didn't make it... Like they've lost people in their regiment before and it really didn't hit home till now... Reality is sinking in I guess?

I knew all of them... One even walked me down the aisle when dh and I got married...

Theres really not much of a question... Guess I'm just really shaken up right now... I dunno... Thanks for reading mamas

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Old 03-11-2008, 08:41 PM
 
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Ok... so I know this is news no one wants to hear but I really have no one to talk to since I went back home for deployment...

4 guys from my dh troop were hit by an IED and 3 of them didn't make it... Like they've lost people in their regiment before and it really didn't hit home till now... Reality is sinking in I guess?

I knew all of them... One even walked me down the aisle when dh and I got married...

Theres really not much of a question... Guess I'm just really shaken up right now... I dunno... Thanks for reading mamas
No words, just hugs and prayers from here
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Old 03-14-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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Ok... so I know this is news no one wants to hear but I really have no one to talk to since I went back home for deployment...

4 guys from my dh troop were hit by an IED and 3 of them didn't make it... Like they've lost people in their regiment before and it really didn't hit home till now... Reality is sinking in I guess?

I knew all of them... One even walked me down the aisle when dh and I got married...

Theres really not much of a question... Guess I'm just really shaken up right now... I dunno... Thanks for reading mamas
Oh dear. I am so very sorry.

Dissertating wife of Mr. Amazing Man, mother to Boo Bear ( ) Captain Knuckle (13), and The Professor (5). Expecting Penelope Rose 5/10/2010 via planned c/s.
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Old 03-14-2008, 06:22 PM
 
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I just found this thread and hope you don't mind me joining. Mr. Amazing man left again yesterday for another deployment overseas. He will be gone this time until July, then home for a few weeks and then gone again. He's a Special Forces soldier who works for the Department of Defense and this way of life is all we have ever known together. I hope you ladies will let me join you - since I live in UT and he works out of the D.C. area, I don't have much of a support group here. I look forward to getting to know you all better!

M.

Dissertating wife of Mr. Amazing Man, mother to Boo Bear ( ) Captain Knuckle (13), and The Professor (5). Expecting Penelope Rose 5/10/2010 via planned c/s.
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Old 03-14-2008, 09:15 PM
 
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Welcome M! for some reason i guess i thought you were already here with us, glad you are now.

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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Old 03-15-2008, 06:13 AM
 
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Hi ladies,

Does anyone have an experience living in the grafenwoehr area of Germany? Thanks. We will be moving there shortly. We have been at another base in Germany for 2 years already.
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Old 03-15-2008, 03:22 PM
 
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Welcome M! for some reason i guess i thought you were already here with us, glad you are now.
Nope, I didn't even know this tribe was around. Now that I have found it, I plan on hanging out around here more!

Dissertating wife of Mr. Amazing Man, mother to Boo Bear ( ) Captain Knuckle (13), and The Professor (5). Expecting Penelope Rose 5/10/2010 via planned c/s.
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Old 03-15-2008, 03:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome, M!

Well, one week almost down! DH is having a good time at BOLC, he did really well on his PT test so he's happy about that. He misses us a lot though He made friends with some other married guys who aren't the partying type so he's glad he has similar people to hang out with, he likes both of his roommates which is always a plus. I'm going to send him an Easter basket soon and I think that will cheer him up about being away from us, I've been sending lots of pictures as well.

Liam has been having a really bad week. His sleep has been terrible and he's starting up with seperation anxiety. I think this is a combination of turning 6 months and dealing with only having mom around. He started solids last night for the first time and had a good time stuffing his face, DH really enjoyed seeing those pictures.

Rivka - How is the TTC going? Can I still call you Rivka ?

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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Old 03-15-2008, 07:49 PM
 
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Thanks ladies for all the hugs and support...

DS and I were in Hawaii when we found out and I was really anxious to hear from DH... I texted his mom/dad asking if they had heard from him (cause I usually don't like to FWD the casualty announcements to the family cause it's unnecessary worrying on their part). Anyway, he had called his mom and told his mom that he didn't want to call me in fear of spoiling our vacation.

I thought that was sweet but I still really would have liked to hear from him. Oh well you can't win every time.

Welcome M This is a great group you'll love it!
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