Brides 2008 - Mothering Forums
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Finding your Tribe Archives 2008 > Brides 2008
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 01:51 PM 04-16-2008
I can't be the only one getting married this year. I think we should have a tribe! (Plus it would be nice to have somewhere to discuss the problems of AP and weddings....)

jimblejamble's Avatar jimblejamble 07:57 PM 04-16-2008
Great idea! I'm getting married on July 5.

What are you doing for invitations? That's what I'm stressing out about right now since the wedding & reception is so soon. I'm trying to use target.com/mystationery but when I go to the pricing page it gives me an error message. My other option is to print them from the website myself but I don't have that great of a printer. :P
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 09:13 PM 04-16-2008
Actually I just got mine back. My Step mom is coming tomorrow to help me mail them out. I got mine printed at Staples. We did a whole package, where you got Invitations, RSVP cards, Thank you cards, and favour tags.
mommyto3girls's Avatar mommyto3girls 04:15 PM 04-17-2008
I will be getting married this year

Just got divorced this month, will be getting married in the summer. We are going to have a Handfasting Ceremony, our Priestess is licensed clergy so it will also serve as our official marriage ceremony. We are not inviting many people though as it feels like it should be private to me. I did buy my dress when I was in New York in Feb! a cool turquoise and brown summery earth goddess dress.
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 05:54 PM 04-17-2008
Sounds lovely mommyto3girls! We're having a handfasting as well. Our Priestess is a member of the local Pagan community who was ordained through the UU church.

I went with the traditional white wedding dress... long train... trimmed in pink! We're getting married outside, so the train will be wrecked by the end of the day, but that's all right, I don't plan to wear it again!
tynme's Avatar tynme 06:24 PM 04-17-2008
Hello, I'm getting married June 08. I can't wait for it to be over and done with! Lol. It's great, I am sure it will be beautiful and wonderful, but the stress! We are having a small outdoor wedding. I couldn't imagine doing a huge wedding!
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 09:28 AM 04-18-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by tynme View Post
Hello, I'm getting married June 08. I can't wait for it to be over and done with! Lol. It's great, I am sure it will be beautiful and wonderful, but the stress! We are having a small outdoor wedding. I couldn't imagine doing a huge wedding!
Me neither! Well, my invitations are ready to go out, (wedding is August 16)

Are any of your children participating in the ceremony? Ds will be there, but is a bit young to be a part of it.
tynme's Avatar tynme 10:38 AM 04-18-2008
nak
my ds is going to be in the ceremony, because my dp is marrying him too actually, dp has been with ds from day one, when i was preggo actually, so dp and ds have an amazingly deep strong bond. ds is 26 months, so the ceremony will be short and sweet
jimblejamble's Avatar jimblejamble 01:58 PM 04-18-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by tynme View Post
Hello, I'm getting married June 08. I can't wait for it to be over and done with! Lol. It's great, I am sure it will be beautiful and wonderful, but the stress! We are having a small outdoor wedding. I couldn't imagine doing a huge wedding!
I know! Me too! I'm LDS (Mormon) and we're getting married in the temple, which is free, and that part I'm not worried about at all. I'm worried about the reception afterwards. There are 70-75 people on our list and we still have no invitations and no official location for the reception (we were thinking at my house but my dad is tryng to sell the house and it might be sold by our wedding date...so we don't want to put this address and then have to call everyone and change it!). And the wedding is only 2 1/2 months away! AHHH! :
Shonahsmom's Avatar Shonahsmom 02:12 PM 04-18-2008
We're getting married July 6th. It's a small wedding but we're starting to get a tad stressed (which we DO NOT want to do).

What we have done:

• Both of our outfits
• The place for the ceremony and reception (a beautiful park with a lodge in case of rain)
• The official (a wonderful interfaith woman minister who has some awesome suggestions for making our ceremony truly unique and special).

What we still need to do:

• Invitations
• Catering: This one is a pickle. The facility we are using requires that we use a caterer from their approved list. They are all either outrageously expensive or not interested in working with our small guest list (about 40 people). We just want a simple buffet with sandwiches, salads, fruit, etc.. The one caterer sent us a sample menu that they did for a party of 60 that was pretty dead on to what we want and the bill was $3300!!!!! That's more than the we are going to spend on our outfits, the rings, the place and the official combined. So, DP is going to call the facility and ask the folks if we can please just bring in our own food. Whole Foods caters and we went over their menu and could do everything for $750.
• Rings: We pretty much know what we want; we've just gotta do it.
• Rentals: Chairs, Linens, Dishes (if we don't use a caterer because we WILL NOT use disposable under any circumstances).
• Marriage License

Gah! I know there's more. We both WOH full time and it's hard finding the blocks of time we need.
ladyinred's Avatar ladyinred 01:11 AM 04-19-2008
Not getting married untill 2009 but would like to sub to this thread
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 07:17 PM 04-20-2008
How are the brides doing? Next weekend we will be driving up to see our reception site (it was all booked through my sister) and the site where we are actually getting married. (A public park)

Can anyone think of questions I should be asking the reception site? I'm terrible at this and don't want to forget anything.
mommyto3girls's Avatar mommyto3girls 04:12 PM 04-22-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinklefae View Post
Me neither! Well, my invitations are ready to go out, (wedding is August 16)

Are any of your children participating in the ceremony? Ds will be there, but is a bit young to be a part of it.

Because I want our Handfasting/marriage to be very very private (my extended family is Catholic and rather than worry about what they would think about a Pagan Handfasting I would rather just not invite them) we are going to have an additional Family Bonding Ceremony.

We are buying out my fiance's ex, so I really need to make the house be OUR house. In addition to repainting we decided to hold a bonding ceremony where we will profess our love for our new family and my committment to Madison and Matt's committment to Maia and Sage. I do think we will do a "family handfasting" as borrowed from the Circle Round book. This will be at our new house and we will have a picnic afterwards for all of the family and friends that would have expected to come to a wedding.
Monarchgrrl's Avatar Monarchgrrl 06:23 PM 04-22-2008
I'm getting married this summer, too, on August 15th. We just booked our honeymoon to Disney World (where we got engaged!) and are so excited! We were going to do a big ceremony and the whole shebang, but since my brother was killed 6 weeks ago, we decided it didn't feel right to do a big celebration. So, we are just going to the courthouse and will then send out tons of announcements. We will save the big ceremony for when it becomes federally legal for us to marry.

I'm kinda relieved that we don't have to plan everything now and can concentrate on the honeymoon planning and just saving money. I was getting pretty stressed with the flowers, invitations and everything. I'm still going to wear a fabulous dress, though and we'll have a photographer. I'm so excited!

We should all share pics after our weddings! I'd love to see everyone's!
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 10:56 PM 04-23-2008
Ooooooh sharing pics sounds good! I just booked my photographer, and I can't wait to see the pics. I know they will be great.

I'm having a ton of trouble finding an outfit for DS. I want him to wear black pants, a white shirt and a royal purple vest. Can't find the vest or a pattern for it ANYWHERE. It's so frustrating.

Anyone else having trouble finding things you want?
FeingoldMomma's Avatar FeingoldMomma 08:54 PM 04-24-2008
I was going to having a ceremony this summer...

DH and I went to City Hall in Sept '07, just the two of us and my son. Our plan was to have all of our family (from OH, CA, and FL) and close friends come to a ceremony in July '08. We'd planned the date for 7/23/08, got the location, figured out the invite look and wording we wanted (as I'm a calligrapher, I'd be doing them myself), got our photographer (his sister has her own studio and does fabulous work), and even planned what my dress was going to look like (deep plum colored corset and skirt custom sized for my ample curves), cake and flowers were mostly decided upon, and my mom had agreed to perform the ceremony.

Then upon reflection, we realized if we were serious about adding to our family, and taking into account my age (39) and the fact that my previous pregnancies took two years each to concieve, we should get started TTC #2. Well, Fate and Nature conspired, and by Nov, I was pg! When we figured out the EDD, we realized that I'm going to be hugely pg at the time of the ceremony. So in interest of comfort, and having things the way we want them for our ceremony, we're postponing til next summer. At that point, To Be will be almost a year old, and can be a part of the festivities, too.

So perhaps I'll just stick around and post and such, until a wedding 2009 thread is started.
ladyinred's Avatar ladyinred 10:22 PM 04-24-2008
How did you get your Df's interested in planning for your weddings?
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 10:42 PM 04-24-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by FeingoldMomma View Post
I was going to having a ceremony this summer...

DH and I went to City Hall in Sept '07, just the two of us and my son. Our plan was to have all of our family (from OH, CA, and FL) and close friends come to a ceremony in July '08. We'd planned the date for 7/23/08, got the location, figured out the invite look and wording we wanted (as I'm a calligrapher, I'd be doing them myself), got our photographer (his sister has her own studio and does fabulous work), and even planned what my dress was going to look like (deep plum colored corset and skirt custom sized for my ample curves), cake and flowers were mostly decided upon, and my mom had agreed to perform the ceremony.

Then upon reflection, we realized if we were serious about adding to our family, and taking into account my age (39) and the fact that my previous pregnancies took two years each to concieve, we should get started TTC #2. Well, Fate and Nature conspired, and by Nov, I was pg! When we figured out the EDD, we realized that I'm going to be hugely pg at the time of the ceremony. So in interest of comfort, and having things the way we want them for our ceremony, we're postponing til next summer. At that point, To Be will be almost a year old, and can be a part of the festivities, too.

So perhaps I'll just stick around and post and such, until a wedding 2009 thread is started.

Wow! I was supposed to be a Bride 2007, but DS had different ideas! (It was meant to be wedding last year and baby this year, but we're doing it the other way around!)
FeingoldMomma's Avatar FeingoldMomma 05:27 AM 04-25-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
How did you get your Df's interested in planning for your weddings?
Heh, it wasn't too hard for us. I let him know that since this was my second wedding, and his first, that if he had any ideas for our wedding, to please chime in - and since he knew I meant it, he did. We talked about lots of stuff, and anything that either of us vetoed we sat down and found out just how important it was to the one who wanted it. If there was a way to compromise we have, but if it could really be done without (especially if it meant having something else we wanted) we took it out. The big thing is to remember it's your wedding as a couple, and that if you truly plan it that way, it's much easier to keep your DF's involved. Mine has expressed amazement at the number of guys who take the "It's her wedding, I'm just along for the ride" approach.

Since what we wanted was our wedding, done our way, not conforming to any specific idea of what all the wedding books say your "supposed" to do, it also made this easier. Low-key, non-traditional, no stress (or as little as humanly possible), fun, enjoyable... that was what we wanted. Then we started looking at how to achieve that. Spending tons of money wasn't something we wanted to do - why start out in debt or broke? So we have found ways to reduce money in some places so we can get the specific things we really want in others (my custom made corset for one).
FeingoldMomma's Avatar FeingoldMomma 05:30 AM 04-25-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinklefae View Post
Wow! I was supposed to be a Bride 2007, but DS had different ideas! (It was meant to be wedding last year and baby this year, but we're doing it the other way around!)
Funny how babies have a way of changing plans... even before they've made their appearance in the world
FeingoldMomma's Avatar FeingoldMomma 05:40 AM 04-25-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shonahsmom View Post
We're getting married July 6th. It's a small wedding but we're starting to get a tad stressed (which we DO NOT want to do).
{snipped for brevity}
Whole Foods caters and we went over their menu and could do everything for $750.
I didn't see this on your list of what has been done and what is left to be done, so if you plan on flowers, I have a recommendation for a florist.

Whole Foods will also do your flowers, if they have a floral dept. That's where I'm getting my flowers done. They're usually happy to work with customers for all sorts of special orders. See if you can make an appt with someone in floral, and that way you can find out what will be available, what they can do, and what the price is, etc. One of things about Whole Foods (and I think this applies to all of them, not just the one I go to) is that they don't charge labor for your arrangements, just the price of the flowers. Nice way to get pretty flowers for a better price.

HTH!
FeingoldMomma's Avatar FeingoldMomma 05:57 AM 04-25-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinklefae View Post
How are the brides doing? Next weekend we will be driving up to see our reception site (it was all booked through my sister) and the site where we are actually getting married. (A public park)

Can anyone think of questions I should be asking the reception site? I'm terrible at this and don't want to forget anything.
*Find out what they provide (tables, chairs, etc.). If they don't provide, are there certain vendors you're expected to go through, or can you use anyone that you can get a good deal from.

*Find out how they work the food. Are you expected to use the site's caterer (if they have one), or an approved vendor, or can you provide your own food. Also, some may allow your own food and beverages, but insist on providing the cake... at additional cost (usually a slicing/serving fee).

*How much time do you have the reception site for, and does that include clean-up, or do you additional time for set-up/clean-up. Also, do they provide any help with the set-up/clean-up.

*What exactly is covered in the fee for the reception site, and are there any deposits (damage, cleaning, etc.) that need to be taken care of.

*If the site is outdoors, is there adequate shade. If not, can you set up tents or awnings to provide at least some coverage.

*What is the bathroom situation like. Will it meet the needs of your guests - including little bottoms that may need changing.

*Are there any site restrictions on beverages. Types of beverages, containers, etc. Some sites don't allow outside beverages at all, some allow only certain types, and some will allow only certain types of containers, i.e. no glass.

That's all I can think of for now. If I can think of anything else, I'll post.

HTH!


Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 09:57 AM 04-25-2008
Wow! FeingoldMomma that list is hugely helpful! Most of it we already know, but some I hadn't thought to ask (mostly about set up/clean up times)


Quote:
Originally Posted by FeingoldMomma View Post
Mine has expressed amazement at the number of guys who take the "It's her wedding, I'm just along for the ride" approach.
I think for us, the hardest part was convincing DF that I didn't WANT to do it this way. He just thought that that was how weddings were and he wasn't ALLOWED to have a voice. It took a few months to convince him that I really do care what he thinks. Although there are some things he doesn't care about. Like the flowers. Or the cake. (In a "we have one?" Okay, I don't care what it looks like way)

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeingoldMomma View Post
Funny how babies have a way of changing plans... even before they've made their appearance in the world
Yup. They definitely have opinions of their own! In the end though I think it was best for us. Having DS has drawn us together in ways I couldn't imagine last year. The wedding is going to mean more with him there.
ladyinred's Avatar ladyinred 07:19 PM 04-25-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinklefae View Post
I think for us, the hardest part was convincing DF that I didn't WANT to do it this way. He just thought that that was how weddings were and he wasn't ALLOWED to have a voice. It took a few months to convince him that I really do care what he thinks. Although there are some things he doesn't care about. Like the flowers. Or the cake. (In a "we have one?" Okay, I don't care what it looks like way)
Yeah I overheard DF joking with one of his friends about being concerned only with what it costs and when to show up. I really REALLY hope he was kidding, because as you said FeinggoldMomma, I really want this to be our day, about us being a family, not about me having a day to pretend to be a princess or something My mom has been joking about white horses and doves being taught to fly in formation as we exit the cathedral and stuff.
triscuitsmom's Avatar triscuitsmom 11:04 PM 04-25-2008
Oooh oooh I'm in too

I'm getting married on July 10, 2008. That's... ummm... 76? days away I think

I'm getting married in our church, which I love and our minister whom I also love is officiating. The reception will be held there as well.

I'll be back with more later... right now it's date night with my beloved
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 12:28 AM 04-26-2008
Welcome Triscuitsmom!

I got my first reply cards back today... so exciting!
FeingoldMomma's Avatar FeingoldMomma 05:28 AM 04-28-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinklefae View Post
Welcome Triscuitsmom!

I got my first reply cards back today... so exciting!
Ooo, yea! I have to get started on the invites, since I'm learning a new hand - on that will be as close to the font on the save the date magnets as I can get. At this point, I think we're planning to use the site we had planned for this year for next year's ceremony. But until I know for sure, I'll be using the time to get the hand down so that it feels comfortable.

Shonahsmom's Avatar Shonahsmom 12:56 PM 04-28-2008
FeingoldMomma, thanks for the tip on the flowers from Whole Foods!

This weekend we went and got the stuff to make our invitations! One more thing crossed off the list!

I didn't have to convince DF to get involved.. he has been from the word go. I don't think he's be the person I was marrying otherwise.
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 01:00 PM 04-28-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shonahsmom View Post
FeingoldMomma, thanks for the tip on the flowers from Whole Foods!

This weekend we went and got the stuff to make our invitations! One more thing crossed off the list!

I didn't have to convince DF to get involved.. he has been from the word go. I don't think he's be the person I was marrying otherwise.
Congrats on getting your invites done! We went and saw our ceremony site (it's about 45 min away) and reception site. The ceremony site looks beautiful all ready! It'll be even nicer once the flowers bloom!

As I said, DF wasn't interested initially, but that's more about cultural "norms". He really didn't know that men got a say in weddings, and if you look at TV shows, listen to other grooms etc. it really seems like they don't. DF had a very negative idea of weddings after watching his sister's wedding. It took him a while to get over that, but now he's very interested.
Twinklefae's Avatar Twinklefae 02:02 PM 04-29-2008
Got more reply cards today! For those procrastinating on the invites - do it! It's the most rewarding thing to get these cards back... very encouraging!
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