I just read your story (your birth story and current post). It sounds like you were incredibly strong in the face of terrible, unforseen circumstances. You said in your birth story that your MW said the placenta issues would have been really painful if you didn't have the epi in place. That is a sign to me that you made the right decision. I don't know if you believe in God or a Higher Power or anything, but it sounds to me like a Higher Power definitley had a hand in this situation. He or She made sure that you got what you needed. If you hadn't had the epi, it may have been even more traumatizing for you due to the pain from the placenta issues.
I hope I'm not out-of-line saying all this...
Have you tried doing some journaling on this topic? As a counselor, that's generally the first thing I recommend to my clients who are trying to process traumatic experiences. Getting it all out on paper can be a big release!
Mom to retired nursling Lily (6/22/07) and wife to my wonderful DH since 3/19/05
Baby Aerick is here! Born at 40+6 on 5/16/10