Anger over birth - Mothering Forums
Healing Birth Trauma > Anger over birth
AcademicMama's Avatar AcademicMama 02:46 AM 01-02-2009
Hello folks:

I had a beautiful, healthy and amazing boy on August 21st. I hadn't posted here after the birth because I still feel a bit traumatized over it.

Essentially, I had a UP and was planning upon a UC. I labored at home for close to three days and my water refused to break. After being up for 72+ hours, my husband took me to the hospital. Initially, the nurses were kind, but when I was moved to labor and delivery, I did get lectured at by a nurse for not subjecting myself to a battery of tests, pre-natal visits, etc. I had been up for days and she kept telling me that she would not call the doctor until my water broke. I was given pitocin and after "surviving" on that for 5 hours, I got an epidural. It wasn't until my little one started to get distressed that a doctor was brought in and I ended up with an emergency c-section for all of my laboring efforts. Naturally, I was drug-tested and visited by a social worker because, you know, you'd have to be insane and completely irresponsible to have an UP.

After this garbage, a family row was started over our decision not to circumsize our son. Family members were prevailing upon me to "just do it" and suggesting that I was cruel for not doing so. My husband's father even intimated that our son would never get into heaven. It got so bad and I was so upset (both because of the disrespect and hormones), we told the nurses that no one was allowed to visit the room anymore.

So, this happened back in August and I try not to think about my son's birth. I get so angry when I do. Angry at the hospital and so angry at family members. A part of me feels a bit damaged and that there's this resentment just bubbling below the surface.

Needless to say, my son is so incredibly handsome, robust and healthy. I suppose that makes me feel some consolation.

majazama's Avatar majazama 02:49 AM 01-02-2009
cruel to not circumsize? ... that just blows my mind.

You are a really good mommy and you made the best decisions for your son. Just forget what all those other people say.

Right of Passage's Avatar Right of Passage 12:00 PM 01-02-2009
oh mama, that's awful. You're amazing for all you endured to bring your boy earthside. If your husband's father is Christian I found this with google.
AcademicMama's Avatar AcademicMama 04:47 AM 01-03-2009
Thank you both so much. I think that posting my story here has been healing for me.
meganmarie's Avatar meganmarie 07:41 PM 01-05-2009
I had been up for days and she kept telling me that she would not call the doctor until my water broke
Okay, that's just ridiculous. When babies are born in the caul, does this nurse catch them herself rather than calling the doctor, since the water hasn't broken yet??

My water didn't break during birth #2 until after pushing had begun, and baby was born at most 30 min later. If they had waited to call my midwife, she would never have been there in time. So that nurse should be disciplined and if you had the energy/appetite to do so, a letter of complaint about her to the hospital is not a crazy idea.

I'm very sorry for your terrible experience. Who knows how differently things could have gone if you had recieved support, compassion and patience in that hospital rather than judgment, ignorance and negativity?
tree-hugger's Avatar tree-hugger 05:43 AM 01-06-2009

apple_juice's Avatar apple_juice 05:55 AM 01-06-2009
I always feel so weepy when someone has birth trauma. I wish you healing. Good vibes being sent your way.