Feeling Traumatized but everyone else thought it was a perfect birth (?) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 49 Old 06-24-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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Oh yeah this thread is amazing! I totally went through the traumatized after a natural birth. I guess I had back-labour and after saying no like 50 times I had some pain-relief so after 33 hrs of agony(bout 20 hrs spent in my home) I had an hour of feeling no physical pain but mentally I was destroyed, sooo depressed on that stuff, then 2 more hours of forced excrutiating pushing and baby was born, I was too wiped to even deal with her for several minutes:and quite bad tears.Interesting that Liontigerbear says this posterior position can be helped during labour and nothing is done, I'd never thought about it like that, they wanted the drugs down me badly to shut me up for sure.Only then was I aware for the 1st time of other women in labour in adjacent rooms moaning quite quietlyProcessing the event was hard too and people seemed so uninterested in my feelings, the PND got bad and lasted a year. I uc'ed twice after that. So mama's so sorry for all the crap experiences we've had to endure, the pain that does feel like you're being ripped apart, the feeling that somehow we've failed or something, the lack of concern or interest in our real and valid feelings. OP I'm so sorry you have been left to deal with the trauma of your birth situation and everyone else is too ignorant to see how you really feel I know that when I uc'ed and took back the dignity robbed from me that I didn't suffer at all and labours were much shorter but still damn back painful, as LTB said the people around us expect us to suffer in labour and that is so true and wierd n horrible.I really hope you feel better soon.
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#32 of 49 Old 06-26-2009, 12:29 PM
 
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Birth is hard, painful, and even in the best of circumstances can leave someone feeling quite shell-shocked.

I do NOT understand how some women describe pushing as feeling 'good' or being able to 'work with the pain'. I hate it. I dread it. I'd rather do transition 3x's than the pushing part. The pressure. Oh.my.gosh.

The only thing that gets me through the worst of it is that I know it doesn't last long. In that moment, I just think to myself, "The longer I resist this, the longer I fight it, the longer it'll last."

I hope you are able to feel better about it soon.

Nicole - Mom to FOUR healthy, happy, wild boys.
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#33 of 49 Old 07-13-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LilacMama View Post
I want to preface this by saying that I am very aware that other women have had truly long, difficult births, often resulting in vacuums/forceps/c-sections and other things that have been far more difficult to process than my birth. I feel guilty for posting my "easy" birth story, but I also wanted sort through some of my negative feelings about my birth.

Anyway, sorry about the length and sorry to you mamas who really did have terrible birth experiences. I don't know what's wrong with me -- I should feel grateful about it. I just need to process some more and get my head around it.

Thanks for this post, I don't feel so alone in this... I'm a bit on the flip side as I did have that high and love my natural births, but I did feel a bit traumatized by a rude nurse and having to be hooked to the moniters and IVs. I know these are minor things, but they affected me greatly emotionally. I wrote about it in my blog...everyone makes me feel like I'm overreacting for being upset over this, I did have a great birth, just not in my mind. Birth is such a spiritual, emotional, unexplainable process, every women goes within herself to allow her body to do what it needs, and all the rationalizing in the world can't change how a women feels while giving birth or after.
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#34 of 49 Old 07-14-2009, 12:53 AM
 
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I have not read through all the posts, but wanted to post quickly.

I know where you are coming from. I'll spare you my story (glad so many have shared so far!), but I'd like to share some resources that may be helpful to you as you process your birth experience.

The first is an article from La Leche League International about feelings after birth. One quote towards the end: Every woman has her own set of ideas and hopes about what her pregnancy and birth experience will be like. To the extent that yours was different from what you expected, you may be more likely to have a postpartum reaction.
(Dunnewold, A. and Sanford, G. Postpartum Survival Guide. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Productions, 1994.. )

The article is well-written and well-worth the read. (link)

Next, Ina May Gaskin and Attachment Parenting International team up this month for a teleseminar about making choices for birth and also how to accept birth when things go differently than planned. Here's a link to learn more.

I know you have a lot of support here and you deserve it!

Mama to DS (10), DS (8), DS (5), DD (3), & DD (6 months).
Lucky Wife to My Techy DH for 11 years.
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#35 of 49 Old 07-14-2009, 01:20 AM
 
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I honestly never heard of the birth high. And I have had a lot of babies.

I am very upset that they gave the bath without permission. But beyond that, it sounds like you really expected too much. I hate to say, it is hard, it sounds like you expected something that, well, I never heard of. I know I felt great after the baby was out, but not during, definitely not during pushing.

((((hugs))))) I think you need some time to heal. Whether your expectations were unreasonable or not, they were still your expectations and it can hurt to lose that.
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#36 of 49 Old 07-18-2009, 04:09 PM
 
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I honestly never heard of the birth high. And I have had a lot of babies.

I am very upset that they gave the bath without permission. But beyond that, it sounds like you really expected too much. I hate to say, it is hard, it sounds like you expected something that, well, I never heard of. I know I felt great after the baby was out, but not during, definitely not during pushing.

((((hugs))))) I think you need some time to heal. Whether your expectations were unreasonable or not, they were still your expectations and it can hurt to lose that.
WOW... I don't want to start a big argument or anything, but, WOW, I can't help but think that what you wrote is pretty darn offensive! You seem to have said, if I may paraphrase "because I never heard of this, I think you expected too much"
WOW.... that is pretty indifferent to this OP's feelings and expressions of what happened to her!
I have felt the "birth high" and also NOT felt it. I've had 4 babies. Two in the hospital and two at home. Oddly enough, I had the biggest endorphin rush with my second hospital birth, even though, overall, I MUCH preferred my homebirths. Both homebirths were straightforward and uncomplicated and no midwife (UC). My last homebirth and last baby was almost "boring". It was less than 5 hours of active labor, easy pushing, squatting in the tub, no attendants, not too much bleeding, easy placenta delivery, etc.
It was so "normal" that I was almost a bit let down that there wasn't, oh, more drama? to it. Absolutely NO story to tell... other than "had a baby".
My expectations were a little different than what I experienced with EVERY baby. This can be cause to revisit the issue mentally over and over and feel frustrated with certain events or feelings. It's TOTALLY NORMAL! And talking about it is the best way to find ways to deal with it, heal from it and move on!
hth a little - Jen

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#37 of 49 Old 07-27-2009, 04:40 PM
 
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OP, I am so glad you shared your feelings. I identified so much with what you wrote. I just gave birth several days ago to my 3rd child. It was by far the most traumatizing birth for me and sadly, I did not brace myself for it, b/c I had two previous births that were OK (not great, but I was happy enough with them). This time, I had prodromal labor for over 2.5 wks, I was upset to find out that my ob who birthed my other two children was on vacation during my, "window" of time and I was going to end up with an OB who was big on medical intervention. In addiition, this was the first time I experienced back labor. I had a natural birth with DS2 (epidural with DS1), so thought that since I had done it before, I could do it again. Wrong, the back labor had me acting like a total crazy person, I could tell by my DH's reaction that he just didn't know what to do to help me feel better, I was all over the place and acting really pitiful. By the time it was time to push, I felt totally trapped. I was already exhausted, and in so much pain, the thought that I still had to do the pushing part was overwhelming. Luckily, it went quickly, but I ended up with a much larger baby this time than my other two and an episiotomy as well (had episiotomy with other two, but this one definitely hurts more).

After I had my baby, I was still in this horrible state of fear. My eyes were still closed and I was still screaming and crying. The nurse had to, "call" me back to remind me that it was all over and my baby was out and healthy. I am very upset with how the birth of my 3rd child went, even though by most stds, it would be considered a successful, "natural" birth. It was like a nightmare to me and different from my natural birth for DS2, which is what I was expecting it to be more like. It sounds awful, but on my DDC, I described my birth exp as, "sucky." That is the nicest way I could put it. I am an advocate of natural birth, but omg, this last exp, with the combo of the bad back labor and a larger than expected baby... yeah a c-section would have sounded really good to me had I known what I was in for and I am not ashamed to admit that I would have gone for that option had I known what I know now. {{{HUGS}}} You are not alone in the way that you feel and you have every right to be upset that your birth did not end up the way you thought it would be. I'm really upset about mine as well, even though to others it appears to be a, "good" birth.
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#38 of 49 Old 08-02-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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I don't post a whole lot here, but wanted to thank you for your honest post. I too remember reeling after my natural "perfect" hospital birth. I too had back labor and felt completely out of control in the last 2 hours...not at all what I thought I would feel. I kept asking my MW (when I was coherent) "am I doing this right??" because I couldn't fathom that this was the was the way it was supposed to feel. I couldn't walk or bounce on a ball during labor. I ASKED for a wheelchair when we got to the hospital. I was so embarrassed about this. And when my MW arrived, she was irate seeing me in the wheelchair and was like, "Why did they make you get in a wheelchair? This is so typical!" Bless her, I know what she meant, but I then felt rather weak because I had actually wanted one...and then I also felt insecure about my ability to actually do it at all, that kind of carried through the rest of my labor. I know it's a small thing, but still...
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#39 of 49 Old 08-07-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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I've had 5 completely and uterly different births. Some were terrible and others werent so bad, though I've never had a birth high and none have been *perfect.* My first was terrible, though I was induced, stuck flat on my back, and had a 3 hour long, non-stop contraction. I was rather scared to have another one after that and I still to this day hate the way his birth went. It was so NOT what I had envisioned.

Same with the next one, it was better, but still nothing like I had wanted and I was very sad. It again was very painful and wasnt empowering at all.

With the 3rd, my labor was insanely easy. I was like wow, this is totally going to be a perfect birth! Woo! It got hard right at the end, for all of 15 minutes, and even in that little bit of time, I sort of lost it. I felt silly. Then I hemorrhaged and well....there went that!

The 4th was a fast, hard labor, again totally different. I was totally on top of things though, until the midwives hadnt gotten there, I wanted to push, and my now ex was saying "OMG DONT PUSH!!!" That made me panic, totally lose focus, and the rest of the birth was craptastic.

My 5th doesnt really count since I had HELLP and a cesarean at 33 weeks. But needless to say, it sucked too.

The point behind this is that yes, birth can suck and you dont have to be happy with the way it went, even if everyone else sees it as being totally awsome. You had expectations that werent met, you had a lot of pain you didnt expect, and it just plain wasnt what you were planning. But, you did it! You had a baby! You might've lost it, you might feel unaccomplished, but you most certainly did accomplish something great. Its hard work to birth and you did it Good job mama!

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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#40 of 49 Old 08-07-2009, 02:39 PM
 
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#41 of 49 Old 08-10-2009, 03:43 AM
 
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So here I am in the middle of the night. I haven't lurked around MDC in the middle of the night in years and what a gem to stumble across! I haven't read replies, though I will. My third birth was absolutely amazing to everybody but me. I feel bad, sometimes ackward, talking about it and I've yet to meet anyone who really means it when they say "yeah, I get it". Lots of people say they do, but I can tell they are still thinking "really? That wasn't so bad". It really upsets me. My third birth was my first homebirth. I had an extremely precipitious birth, one that I ever saw coming months in advance. Nothing could have prepared me mentally though for a 1 hr 10 minute labor, thirty solid minutes of which was mind-numbing full on contraction action. It was truly unbearable and I really really had to work through that. It went so incredibly fast that I didn't realize it was over. For three days afterward if I wasn't in the same room as the baby I forgot that I gave birth. It was just too fast.

To hear my story from the outside though, people hear this: Home waterbirth, candlelit room, surrounded by family, fast and straightforward birth, no tears, big healthy baby. That's not my perspective. My perspective is my reality just as everyone's perspective is their reality. My reality is that my birth was not great, it was very traumatic for me. People often agree that my postpartum time was bad (stomache flu runs through family and my mom moves out all in under 7 days of giving birth not to mention I almost never got to hold the baby for the first 9 days) but they think my birth was just super awesome. Everyone acts jealous of my fast labor and smooth birth. I'm not jealous and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It was truly just too much too fast. I just can't get anyone else on board with that, they all think it was so perfect.

So I thank you for this thread. Heck, this forum (Healing Birth Trauma) I'm thankful for; it wasn't around when I was a regular here. I look forward to reading the replies in this thread. I'm so glad I stumbled on this. I know it is kind of old but I see a couple of more recent replies, so I don't feel too bad for replying I will be back, for sure. Thankyou, again. It really is nice to have that "I'm not alone!" feeling.
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#42 of 49 Old 08-17-2009, 10:46 PM
 
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OP- I TOTALLY get it.

My first birth was truthfully almost painless. Even though I hemmorhaged, I spent the next two years singing the praises of NCB. I thought I was prepared for #2.


Nothing about ds2's birth went as planned, except I was able to deliver him w/o intervention. PAIN! I allowed AROM to start labor, but I was only 50% effaced. After 11 hours of a sharp stabbing pain behind my pubic bone, it started wrapping around my back, and shooting dwn my legs. I had no sensation of contracting. None. I wasn't even sure I was n labor until I puked.

All I remember was being on myknees, hugging the back of the bed, and sobbing. I was thinking, "I am NEVER doing this again!" and "I better get my girl out of this!". I whimpered and moaned, and cried.

It was so entirely different than my frst birth. I had no control. I had no idea where in labor I was. I had no urge to push. FOr months afterwards, I only thought of my birth in terms of things being done TO me, not something I had accmplished.

and yet. . .I felt so good physically afterwards. Thw Mw's the nurses, everyone kept saying how strong I was, how wonderfully i was doing, and in my head I was saying, 'bull---t', I 'm a wuss, and I just wished that my baby would just go away so ths would be over.'


Now, I have no illusions left.


But you did accomplish something. You GAVE birth. at some point, this will feel like truth to you. I hope it happens soon.

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#43 of 49 Old 08-22-2009, 04:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LilacMama View Post
I want to preface this by saying that I am very aware that other women have had truly long, difficult births, often resulting in vacuums/forceps/c-sections and other things that have been far more difficult to process than my birth. I feel guilty for posting my "easy" birth story, but I also wanted sort through some of my negative feelings about my birth.
Wow, reading these posts has been so moving. I didn't know other women felt like this-- I have felt so wimpy and foolish for feeling the way I do about my birth, but now I feel almost validated.

I gave birth to my first baby just 3 weeks ago. She really is my pride and joy but I have such mixed feelings about childbirth... I have always been determined to have 4 or more children and I still want them, but when I think about giving birth again I feel almost terrified, almost sick, and I truly don't know if I can face it again.

I had been heavily pregnant all through the hot weather, and by 39 weeks I was losing my veneer of cheerfulness I'd kept up fairly well throughout the pregnancy. One Sunday morning, I went to church as usual but halfway through the service asked DH to take me home (something I never do!). He did, and stayed home with me, which was sweet (he could have easily gone back as we live 5 min. away from the church). I holed up in our bedroom the rest of that day. DH said I was "like a cat in the bathroom," which was both offensive and bewildering to me until he explained that his family's cats always slunk to the bathroom and brooded there before having kittens, lol.

However, that night I was feeling a bit better, and so we got a bit romantic. We'd been told by the midwife that it can bring on labor... and maybe it did the trick, because shortly afterwards, at about half-past midnight, I felt a sharp pain that kind of took my breath away and a small amount of fluid gushed out. I thought, Has my water broken? Is this it? I told DH what had happened, and then when I started having contractions both of us got a bit excited and scared, and we headed off to the hospital. I still didn't know if it was real labor or not--it hurt pretty badly, but what threw me off was how close the contractions were! I thought real labor started out with 10-15 minute intervals between contractions that began somewhat mildly. I had been instructed to wait until they were five minutes apart before coming in. Mine were 2-3 minutes, if that, so I thought maybe it was some really strong Braxton Hicks that would vanish any second. Called my mother on the way, and she seemed to think it was real labor. By the time we got to the hospital, I knew it was. The pain was becoming almost too intense to speak, but I wanted to be calm and so I made myself stand (horrible) at the counter answering inane hospital questions and then sit (horrible) in the waiting area filling out paperwork. My sweet husband took the clipboard away from me, thank goodness, and did it for us. I, meanwhile, could barely find the wherewithal to get out my hair tie and bobby pins to pull back my hair.

Next, I was told to give a urine sample. I took the cup and wobbled to the bathroom, but while I was in there I guess my water really did break, or finished breaking, and I was so surprised I just came right back out without a sample and apologized to the nurses, still feeling like I had to stay calm and be polite. They laughed and sent me to triage, where a cheerful nurse overlooked what was becoming agony and told me my water had definitely broken and that I was definitely in labor!:

From there, things progressed quickly. But all I knew was that I was in pain I couldn't handle. Oh, I dealt with it for a little while, but I was not anywhere close to in control. I was like a child, pleading with the nurse for the tub, frightened of the pain but frightened of an epidural, miserably wondering why the midwife just walked in and walked out, and wondering but trying not to think about how long labor might go on and how much more painful it might get. It only took about 20-30 min, I guess, to get so far past my inhibitions that the pain had me screaming with each contraction-- hoarse, whinnying, muffled screams that eventually gave way to louder and louder ones. I was so scared of the pain. Not of giving birth, or complications, but of the pain itself. I began to think, How can I endure this for the whole labor? How can I? I was starting to push with contractions, which helped a tiny tiny bit, but I asked my husband if I could have an epidural, and he (looking sort of pitying and shocked blended together) told me whatever I wanted was fine with him. The nurse told me she thought I could keep going naturally, but I was past the point of considering it. She made me lie down on the bed (excruciating) and began to insert the IV (I had previously requested not to have it inserted at all unless necessary). When she told me they'd have to run a bag of fluids before the epidural, I thought I could not bear such bad news. Between contractions I felt so completely undone just knowing another one was coming. At this point, I was 8 cm dilated "with some cervix left." Before the nurse had the bag of fluids for my IV, I felt a new, awful pain and knew the baby was coming. I screamed this to the nurse, feeling even more scared, and although at first she did not believe me, she examined me and called for the midwife and held my hand and told me to push with the next contraction. It was all so unreal. I couldn't do anything but scream with the contractions-- no breathing, no concentrating, no awareness exercises or anything that I had practiced. I could feel that although I pushed as best I could, the baby kept moving back up the birth canal. It was so awful. Eventually she crowned, which was even worse, and I tore both perineally (which hurt badly) and in the labia (which was the worst part of all-- and I thought the midwife was doing it to me on purpose, so I screamed, "You're hurting me! You're tearing me!" I felt a little mentally reassured when she soothingly told me that I was tearing up top but that it happens sometimes, but the pain was so bad. Finally the baby's head came out, but then the shoulders hurt so badly after that. When she was actually out there was not a remarkable decrease in the pain until they laid her on me. I felt shocked. I couldn't believe it was over. I was so relieved... until the midwife began stitching me up. I felt traumatized by that. What had been damaged? Would I still be able to have sex and live a normal life? No one had told me about labia tears, and I didn't know what was going on with it, you know? It seemed like such a vulnerable place to tear. I wanted her to stop-- I was desperate for her to stop, but I felt like I couldn't say that, of course. But my baby did seem like such a miracle to me. I couldn't believe that she was the product of all of those months and of all of that pain. I couldn't believe the pain was over. I couldn't believe I had survived it, and if I had not found this thread I would probably have never admitted that.

I have not told anyone all of this, not even my mother, who is my best friend. I have joked about them and laughed at myself for having nightmares about childbirth. I have commented on how lucky I was that my whole labor and delivery took less than four hours, and that I had a baby that only weighed 7 and a half pounds. I've made fun of myself for getting credit for a natural childbirth when I did ask for an epidural. I have only tentatively suggested that such speedy labor and delivery might have its own difficulties, and given respect (almost reverence) to women who've had long and arduous labor. But underneath it all, I've wondered what was wrong with me. Why do other women who went through long labor and delivered large babies look back on it with aplomb while I, who sincerely desire more children, literally may never have another because I can't face childbirth? Only since reading these posts do I start to feel validated. And I still don't, really. I'm sorry this is so long, but if anyone has any feedback to offer I would appreciate it.
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#44 of 49 Old 08-22-2009, 10:47 PM
 
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jonskatharine712, I feel a lot of the things you posted. I also had a fast labor of a smaller baby and the pain was beyond unbearable. My initial reaction, though, was perhaps opposite to yours: I kept thinking that it couldn't have been real and that I had to go through it again and that this time I would "do it right" and finally have a wonderful birth with beautiful memories to override the first one.

It took me over a year to let go of that thought. The only thing I could finally hold onto was that my birthing experience had been not unlike myself. I tend to go through difficult things as fast as possible, and try to push through things until it's done. Funnily enough, that was exactly how I birthed.

Once I was able to find a small handle to connect me to my birthing experience I was finally able to see that that's birth for me. I've stopped expecting or hoping to have a better experience next time. I don't know when I will be ready to face birth again, but now I just see it as a mighty opponent. It's waiting for me, ready to defy again my previous ideas of what it means to live, to be born, to die or to be in pain.
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#45 of 49 Old 08-26-2009, 06:32 PM
 
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My first birth was totally traumatic and ended in an emergency c-section...processing it all afterwards I feel that the main trauma was due to being made to feel like a piece of meat. Among other things, I was told to relax and open my legs further whilst having something that resembled a crochet hook pushed through my completely closed cervix (I hadn't had a single contraction) in order to break my waters, all while I was bawling my eyes out in pain and total humiliation. I guess I felt totally uncared for, it didn't matter how I felt about things, I just had to go along with it...I felt totally humiliated, degraded, stripped of all dignity, and for me that was what caused most of the emotional trauma (apart from the fact that my son was in distress because of all the interventions they did). But yeah, I think the lack of control, and the lack of being treated with dignity, the same as I would feel if there were people wandering in and out and I got told to put my legs up by my ears and push (like the OP), and I didn't feel like I had a choice, then that is what would really traumatize me.

With my 2nd child I had an HBAC, and it was a totally healing experience. My midwife was great, she was encouraging, she asked me if I would like her to examine me, rather than telling me I *had* to have such and such done...she let me give birth in any position I wanted (I actually ended up giving birth on my knees at the foot of the stairs). She wasn't intrusive in any way whatsoever, and I totally felt like all my decisions were truly informed ones, and totally supported by my dh and midwife. Afterwards, I felt fantastic, like the old emotional scars had healed, and like I'd had my dignity restored. And I realised that birth can be an awful lot more dignified than I'd been allowed during my first birth.

My third baby is due in 10 weeks, and I have the same midwife booked again...I really believe that the attitudes of caregivers can be very important in how a person feels about their birthing experience in the months/years after the birth, even if the birth looks perfectly textbook on the outside.
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#46 of 49 Old 08-26-2009, 07:51 PM
 
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jonskatherine712- You are so strong! I admire you for saying what you think. And I agree that your short labor was probably more traumatic than either of mine.

I remember our Bradley Instructor telling us that Women typically work VERY hard during very short labors, and that longer labors can actually be easier.

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#47 of 49 Old 08-29-2009, 11:47 PM
 
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I could have written your post. I completely panicked when I started to push. Luckily I had my mom there. She ran to my side as I lay there panicked and crying and I burried my face in her bossom and cried "Help me mommy!". She told me I was going to be ok and that I just needed to concentrate and was so loving. If she hadn't been there I don't know what would of happened. The nurses and the doctor weren't helpful. As it turns out, I only pushed for 15 minutes or so, but it would have taken a lot longer if my mom hadn't helped me pull myself together. You are a very brave mama. Short labors are traumatizing!
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#48 of 49 Old 09-25-2009, 07:26 PM
 
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I totally understand where you are coming from. My first 2 births were with an epidural and were completely wonderful. My 3rd was unmedicated because I didn't ask for an epidural in time. It was just like you described your birth. I was completely unprepared for how painful and exhausting "natural" childbirth is. I think it must have been my expectation that it would be easy since it was my 3rd child that really got to me. I just remember pushing and thinking, "I can't believe women do this without pain meds." It felt so WRONG! I didn't think I was going to make it. I felt like screaming "somebody do something, I'm dying here!"

Later, the nurse that helped with my delivery mentioned that I had an awesome delivery. What?! I didn't think it was awsome. People ask me if I'm glad I did it unmedicated. NO, I am not. It was much better with the epidural and I recovered faster because I wasn't so exhausted by the pain. I enjoyed my childbirth experience so much more the first 2 times and was much more coherent to take care of my new baby.

I am still upset about it and now that I'm pregnant with my 4th child, I'm scared. I'm scared it will happen to fast and I won't be able to get an epidural or the anesthisiologist (sp?) will be too busy to get to me in time or the epi won't work.

Nothing horrible happened during the birth, it just hurt ALOT and I don't want to do it like that again.

I'm so glad I found this forum with other women who didn't find the classic, natural childbirth experience wonderful! I don't feel so odd.
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#49 of 49 Old 09-26-2009, 02:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaTaraX View Post

So I thank you for this thread. Heck, this forum (Healing Birth Trauma) I'm thankful for; it wasn't around when I was a regular here. I look forward to reading the replies in this thread. I'm so glad I stumbled on this. I know it is kind of old but I see a couple of more recent replies, so I don't feel too bad for replying I will be back, for sure. Thankyou, again. It really is nice to have that "I'm not alone!" feeling.
It is my understanding that labors less than 4 hrs long are often extremely traumatic, and many women have difficulty processing that much movement that fast.(I think it also freaks hospital staffs!) My first was born in 4 hrs and although I had a "textbook birth" in a hospital, it still left me shell-shocked.Remember that NO ONE ELSE can feel what you are feeling at this time. Each birth, is also unique to each lady, so a traumatic birth(especially a first) may be very calm and slowmoving the next time..each one is different(my 2nd was born in 3 hrs, but the third took 11 hrs- that wore me out the most!) Each birth is different. I hope your next one will be more relaxing and smooth. And I think intense people might feel pain more acutely, do you think? I wonder if that has anything to do with what you might have been feeling....hope your next birth is smoother/slower...and pain free!
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