pregnancy and birth trama - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 02-02-2009, 06:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i am glad i found this forum. sorry if the spelling is bad, spell check in not working on my computer.

i am just gonna type my pregnancy and birth story, now that it has been almost 10 months since birth, and i have learned soooooo much more than i knew when i got pregnant, i can find.

for the pregnancy:
I found out i was pregnant 3 1/2 weeks after a MC that was 5w5d along. so at first, we did not know if it was a new pregnancy, or if i had not had a MC, my OB who handled the MC was a A-hole, and never did test to see my HcG get to 0, when i found out with my DD, my HcG was only 95, so we did not know if i had a tubel, if it was just "fresh" or if i had a low rising HcG. on the way home form the OB, a dog shot infront of my car, and i could not stop, he ended up running into right where the tire is, (so i guess the dog hit me since he hit the side of the car) and she had a tag with owner info, so i called right away, and the owner just had noticed she was not in the back yard and her gate was open. (this is relevant) i helped her and her Dh get the dog into the their car, they went to the vet, and the dog had a broken pelvice, and leg. they could not thank me enough for doing the right thing and not leaving the dog on the side of the road. i was just happy because they did not expect me to pay for it, i could not have at the time, although if i would have had the money, i would have. i feel this set the mood for the whole pregnancy. it was like it was a sign. (that is why it has relevance).
my new ob, got my old labs and such form the MC, and saw my progestone was 2.2, normal in pregnancy is above 10. so we had a script for that, incase i started to bleed. sure enough, i woke up in the night and was spotting. so i started the progesterone. had my labs checked again the next day, and my HcG was up to 200! my progesterone was at 10. so we kept me on the progesterone. a week later, we did a u/s and it was a new pregnancy, and looked good for a 5w sac (as good as it can look that early). then i started getting morning sickness! then i started spending more time throwing up than anything else im my life. after 2 weeks of that, they decided i had Hyperemesis. we tried to treat it with oral Zofran, it did not work. so at 8w, i got a PICC line, which is a semi-perminat IV, i had home care (batteling with insurance for that was NOT fun) to take care of the IV, i had to do 3 bags of fluid a day (1000 ML per bag) and one of them had a vitiman and mineral coctail in it, and i had a pump that was giving me IV zofran 24/7. i ended up on 40.32 MG/day, the max dose should be 36 for pregnancy, i was on more than some chemo paitents get. but it did finally stop the vomiting, after i had lost 30 lbs, but it did stop. at 12 weeks, my PICC started to get infected, so it was removed, i was on antibiotics, and i also ended up with a slight form of Cellulitus where the dressing for the PICC was. i was able to control my hyperemesis with oral meds after that. (just think, all that was only the first 12 weeks). i also had some bleeding even with the progesterone, and had a lot of trips to the ER to make sure my cervix was not opening, and i didnt need a cerclage (sp?). at 16 weeks, i had bleeding and pain in my right side, the pain was not to bad, i did have a 4cm CLcysts on that ovary, so i thought it was fine, but the bleeding was worried me. i went to the ER again, in fear that this pregnancy was doomed, as my cousin lost her second child at 17 weeks. i forgot to add, i work nights and was at work when this started. so i was DC'ed from the ER about 6am, they had talked to my OB and he wanted to see me at 8am, so i went home, did not even get to sleep, and had to go right back (his office is on the hospital grounds). after looking at me, he decided that i needed to see a general surgon for a consultation,because although i had a cyst, the apendix is located where my pain was. so i went over to see her right away, she was in the next building, and they decided to send me for a u/s of my apendix. they could not do the normal ct they do to check since i was pregnant. the u/s was not until 3, and it was about 11. when i had the u/s the first tech was looking, and decided she needed a second opinion. knowing what i was looking at since i had thought about doing sonography, i did know that something was not right. the second tech came in the room, did the same thing, adn decided they needed to get the radiolgest in there to look also. by this point, i KNEW something was not right, i KNEW it was my apendix, and before they even told me how it looked, i KNEW. so i was checked into the hospital, and had surgory set for 715 pm. at this point i had been up since 11am sunday, it was now 5pm monday. the surgory went great, my surgon was even pregnant, something i did not notice when i had met her at the consultation, so i felt she was even more concerned about my fears for the baby. getting ready for the surory was different then the other ones i have had, most the others, i had a ton of pain meds on board, one was a gulbladder, the other was the endo, so i didnt remeber much, but this one, i had no medication in me, i remember it all. when you are in the OR, they give you a drug called Versed (sp?), it puts you in twilite sleep, they can not give that to pregnant people. so i got to feel the nurses hands on my throat to mark my windpipe, and they press hard and hold their hand there until the put the breathing tube in, then they gave me the meds to put me out, they told me that i would feel burning in my arm, then i would wake up, i felt the burning, then i felt like my throat was closing over and what i think dying must feel like, and then i woke up and was being rolled to PACU. in PACU, they could not find the babies HR, i was very upset, all i wanted was to hear that sound, and now she was ok, i started crying, and yelling "my baby is dead" then a OB nurse walked in with one of her dopplers, and found the hr right away, the reason the PACU nurses could not find it was they were using a dorsal pulse doppler, which even says on it "not intended for fetel use". i could have smacked all of them for making me worry. then i started getting really sick. they gave me 12 MG of zofran in about 20 min, and it was not helping at all since i had such a high tolorance to it. so they finally gave me Dramamine, and it stopped it right away. i was gonna go home the next day, but i could not stop throwing up, and the pain was so intense. so they kept me a second night, but things got better the next day. a week later, i went into "PTL" i was 17 weeks. they gave me meds to stop it, and i was fine. then at 23 weeks it happened again, that was the worst one, since i was 1 week away from "the safe point". but again gave me drugs to stop it. at 27 weeks, i had high b/p and PTL but ended up being ok, then at 30 weeks, i thought my water broke, i started having contractions that were nothing like the ones i had been having, but way more intense, so i went into the hospital. little did i know, that was the last i would see of the outside until i had my DD. they admited me, did test, decided my water had not broke, but i was having contractions. my b/p was high again, so they did some blood tests, and the results were shocking. i for sure had Preeclampsia, and i was border line HELLP syndrom. the next morning, my labs were worse, they consulted a Perinatologest (sp?) and did a ultrasound, we found that she was 2 weeks behind in growth, except her head, which was a week ahead, and she had gone form the 50%tile down to the 20%tile. her cord dopplers were also high, these are like a b/p for the cord, and the amniotic fluid was only 12cm, usually at 30 weeks its around 20cm. i was put on Betamethasone shots, 1 shot for 2 days, but they did not know if i would even make it to the second shot. i did make it to the second shot, and a few days later, i had another u/s. it showed the same things, so we decided to wait. the Perinatologest was SHOCKED to see me, she thought i "would have been sectioned" that first day. i informed her that i was still intent on a vaginal delivery, and she said "oh honey, this one is out of your hands". i talked with ALL of the docs who were on staff, and we decided that as long as i agreed to continuous EFM in labor, and was ok with the possibility of having a trus "crash"c/s and being put under general and not being awake for the birth, then they would "let me try". a few more days went by, i had not had a *high* b/p since the first one when i was admitted, but they were high for me. not pregnant i am 80's/40's, so when i was 130's/ 80's that was high for me. i had blood draws every day, and 2 u/s a week to check fluid. i was there for 5 weeks. i even had to move my baby shower form the rec center to the hosptial, but they let me up in a wheel chair for 2 hours that day, and i got to have it in one of the confernce rooms. at 34 weeks, my fluid was down to 5cm. that was officially oligohydramnios. so they decided to give me a IV (yes i had made it the whole time with out one) so i asked for a PICC so that i would not have to be poked every day for labs to. after 5 days of IV fluids, jet tub thrapy, and not being allowed out side in a wheel chair for my normal 1/2 hour per day, i was still at 5cm of fluid. and we all decided that i would be induced monday.

the labor:
i was told to eat a big early breakfast, since i would not be allowed anything but ice chips, jello, and juice the rest of the time, so i ordered my food, ate, and then th doc came in. for induction, we decided to try a somthing that my ob had brought into practice at that hospital, and that was a 30ml foley cathater, placed into the uterus, just above the cervix, and inflated, then we would pull it so there was traction on the tube, and tape it to my leg and wait for it to fall out. this is called manule dilation, and when it fell out i would be 3-4cm, and my cervix would be more favorable for a induction with AROM, and Pit if needed and i would be less likely to have a c/s for FTP. once i had that in it was great! for the first time in 5 weeks, i was allowed to walk around, and not just to the bathroom or the tub for treatment. 11 hours later, it came out. the plan was to do AROM, and let labor start on its own after that, but she was to high up still, and my ob did not want to break my water at -2 station, for risk of cord prolapse. so we started pit to bring her down it was 8pm, at 9pm she was at 0 and they did AROM. i was having contractions 3 min apart lasting 60 seconds after 2 hours of that. i delt with those until 430 am, and decided to get some Fentnyal for pain. after i got that, i was good for 2 hours, then needed more, the contractions were killing me, and i started having "cuppling" ones, that is where you dont have ANY time between coming out of one and going into another. at 8 am my ob had to be in another town, so he asked me which one i prefered to deliver, and made sure he was ok with that, because the oncall doc was the one i really did not like, although the on call doc would suporvise my labor, and hender, oops i mean check my progress. at 12 pm, i had was stuck at 6cm, had been stuck for 8 hours, and they came in to talk to me about a c/s as she was not moving down either, and i had tried different position, and the birthing ball at the side of the bed. i did not notice at the time, but theyt waited to "talk"to me about it until my DH went down for food, and my mother went to check on my dad in the waiting room. it was a dirty trick, they knew my thoughts and intentions on natural birth, and they waited until my support system was gone to "talk" to me about it, but i did not realize thats what they were doint at the time. so i decided to get the anesthesiologist in and get the epi in place since i would be going to c/s. 20 min after it was placed, i was not numb, but i could not feel the pain like i had been, and i got a overwhelming sensation to push. the nurse did not listen, and told me "thats how contractions feel when you have a epi" i fought with her for a min, and after she left, i hit the call light for someone else to listen. just then the ob came in to talke to me about the c/s and take me over to OR, i told him what was going on, and he very reluctantly checked me. he did not even get his hand in all the way and said "ok, you are compleat, and now a +2 station, im going to go get my scrubs on now!" the nurse had me doing "practice pushes" i did 2 and started yelling "he is not gonna make it back in time" just then he walke through the door, and 5 pushes later, she was out. now my normal ob and i had talked and i wanted her placed on me as soon as she was out, before suctioning and everything, since she was still getting o2 form the cord, but i forgot to talk about it with the ob who delivered, so he was suctioning her. it was 146pm when she was born, it was still 146 pm when she was in my arms, but the time he had her felt like hours. it was in slow motion, and i felt like he would not give her to me. my DH got to cut the cord, which is something he had not got to do with his boys and their moms, and it was paper thin, yellow, and did not look right, if i had not been induced when i was, she likely would have died. the ob did keep tugging at the placenta utnil it detached, but at least he did not hurt anything by doing that. my DD was born at 35, weighing 5lbs 2oz, and 18" long. she did need o2 to start, and was in NICU, but she only was there 4 nights, i was DC'ed after 2 nights, but the hosptial let me stay in the room free of charge, to stay with her since she was doing to good and i was bfing. i had to have all my own meds, and i did not get to use the nurses for anything, but that was fine, i still got to stay close to my DD. it took a month to get her to bf all feedings, since she was given bottles in NICU, she did not know how to nurse, but i pumped for a month, and she latched finally.

looking back now, since it had been almost 10 months, there are a LOT of things i could have done different. diet, exercise, resting more (hard to do when you work nights) as well as things i should have done different before i got pregnant, but i still feel very tramatized by it all. strangly, i want to be pregnant again, i have since she was born. i also want a homebirth, and a midwife because i would have had a lot more options then just medications, and hosptials. there are somethings that will not happen again, like the apendix, that CANT happen again, and the risk of preeclampsia should go down as long as my next pregnancy is with the same man, which it will be. and then there are somethings that most likely will happen again, like the Hyperemesis. the difference in the next pregnancy will be huge, as i have learned so much thanks to all the natural mama's i know.


thank you all for reading this, i know its long, but just typing it helps, every time i tell it, i notice more and more things a midwife would have done different, and also things i should have done different.


even though it will be a year before i get pregnant again, please send me lots of good vibes for the next one!:

felicia
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#2 of 5 Old 02-02-2009, 06:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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wow just realized that took me 2 hours to type.
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#3 of 5 Old 02-02-2009, 11:01 AM
 
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Hello neighbor! I read it all and wow you went through so much. Lots of healthy pregnancy vibes fir next time. And lots of healthing vibes for now.

bf.jpg Sami brokenheart.gif, wife to jammin.gif, mama to reading.gif Tate 10/14/05, moon.gifKaleb 12/17/07, angel.gifcandleflicker2.gif Bram 3/13/10-11/17/12, mischievous.gif Alden 2/1/12, pos.gif October 2014
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#4 of 5 Old 02-02-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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Hello Felicia,

Your story sounds so similar to my own. I also had pre-e and HELLP. The only difference was that I was planning on a homebirth with midwives. Unfortunately, they misread the symptoms indicating pre-e and everything spiraled out of control while I was in labor. I ended up with a crash c-section and didn't get to see my baby for three hours.

I just wanted send some love your way :

mothering my beautiful crash cesarean
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#5 of 5 Old 02-05-2009, 11:57 AM
 
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You are so amazing and strong.

That is some experience, print it out and save it.

Writing out ones story and saying it out loud to other supportive women can be cathartic. IRL a therapy group for women with birth trauma or a mother to mother support like ICAN meeting can really help you heal.
However I want to say you deserve an enormous amount of credit for your continued optimistic nature, you sound so upbeat, where most women would be beaten down by that experience and never want another baby.

I agree with you that taking care of your diet and health before you get pregnant can have the potential to make a huge difference and change the course of your next birth.
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