Oh, mama! I am so sorry you are going through this. I have BTDT, and I know what a hard choice you are faced with. And in the end, whatever choice you make will be the right one for you and your baby.
I was in the same kind of excruciating pain for four months after my babes were born, and it took some intensive sessions with an LC and a lot of other fairly drastic measures to be able to keep nursing. I thought of weaning so many times, but I just couldn't. But then, my situation was different than yours. And while I am, as my uncle says, a "leche nazi", I also agree that there are times when it's just not feasible or healthy, for a variety of reasons. Only you can make that decision.
That being said, if you want to continue, you need to be working closely with an experienced LC. I agree that there are tons of women in the breastfeeding challenges forum who are knowledgeable and kind. You probably are already doing these things, but just thought I would chime in.
A thought: many women I know who have oversupply issues go to feeding only on one side for 2, 3, or 4 hours at a time, and then switch sides. This seems to help quite a bit. And while it's intensely difficult, it is possible to get a bottle-fed baby onto the breast. If you would like to talk about it, PM me. Or even if you just want to vent to someone who has btdt. Hugs, mama.