I'm not ready to post it yet.. it's really long. I literally just spent four hours getting it all down on (virtual) paper. I'm still crying. I feel good though. I think this was a big step for me in processing the birth. It really happened, I had real feelings about it every step of the way, and now they're out there in black and white.
I avoided saying birth for a while, it was just a surgery to me, but someone on one of the other threads in this forum made me change my mind. DH and I have no desire to have any more kids, so this is it, I can't "make up for it" by trying for a VBAC. My daughter still came into this world even though she didn't come through my vagina; this was the only birth I could give her, so goshdarnit, I'm calling it a birth!