ok. so where do I start..... I need to get over my birth experience, need closure, need to stop waking up at night and crying over the 'would of's, should of's, could of's'. I"m usually the level headed one, but it has been 18 months now since our birth and I can't shake it. I don't know if a shoulder to cry on is really gonna fix this. I need help processing this, remembering what happened and mostly I need to move forward. How do I find competent help? DH wants our insurance to pay, I want a faith based approach that will also help me remember some of the finer details, my pastor isn't having any luck finding a female counselor for me, and I think I need someone that has a natural family mindset. Ya know, I don't want to be the crazy and crunchy momma. All I know is I'm awake right now and baby is asleep. I should be asleep too because the rest of the night will be interrupted with nursing. It makes me tired just thinking of how tired I am. Oh, and of course my marriage is suffering. My glass is so half empty right now.