Fearing The Worse - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-02-2009, 02:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know where else to post this and I hope it's not insensitive or offensive...

I fear the worse with this pregnancy and birth. I just have this feeling that not only the birth is going to be bad but that my babies might not make it.

Logically I know it's the depression and the past birth and that my grandmother lost her twins and I was raised with those stories but I can't shake the feeling. I'm just really scared and I feel like i need to prepare myself for another traumatic experience and a loss or two.

Again I am sorry if this sounds insensitive. I just don't believe in my body anymore.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 04-02-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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I don't think it sounds insensitive. I've been struggling with fear of losing this baby practically since I peed on the stick, yk?

I think it's totally understandable that having things go wrong once makes it hard to have faith that things will work out next time. I have no ability to just "trust" that things will be okay, because my prior experiences don't back that up. All the logic in the world doesn't stand up well against emotion and experience.

I don't really have anything to say that will help, though.

I am looking forward to reading about your two little sweeties, though.

Another

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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Old 04-02-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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Have you thought of finding a counselor and talking it out?

I lost my son last August shortly after his birth and I'm due again this August. It is a lot harder being pregnant this time around out of fear of losing this baby and out of fear of another rough birth.

I found a counselor that has BTDT - her first son was stillborn. It is such a relief to have her to talk to - both for DH and me. I was able to locate her through the local birth loss support group in town. I emailed the woman that runs the group and she sent me the counselor's name.

Best wishes and I hope you're able to shake the feeling - it's awful to have to carry around.
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Old 04-10-2009, 09:08 PM
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I'm so sorry you're feeling this way
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