Transferred to Hospital and became statistic - Mothering Forums
Healing Birth Trauma > Transferred to Hospital and became statistic
mizznicole's Avatar mizznicole 01:19 PM 04-09-2009
Looks like we're having DC2 and it's causing me to revisit my birth with DC1. (Although I do that fairly often.)

I went to the only MW in town with a birth center. I read Ina May Gaskin, hung out on MDC, got as educated as possible (I thought).

My labor was awful. DS was posterior and it was excruciating. As I reflect now, which is hard to do from the "fog of war," it seems like the MW kept running against my instincts. I kept deferring to her as an issue of trust.

Here are some examples.

It was midnight when labor was in full swing. I wanted to keep walking around, and she told me I needed to rest. Walking is always therapeutic for me. But instead I was in bed with bad pain.

At some point she pushed my cervix open the last centimeter or so.

She shot me up with nubain so I could rest again.

Then she broke my waters which later I decided was the ultimate insult.

We pushed for 2 hours, then she said, oops, you've timed out of our center. We have to go to the hospital.

The OB gave the ol' CPD diagnosis. And I believe at that point nothing else could have been done. It was too late to reverse the AROM effects. The c/s actually went as well as one could hope. The staff was compassionate and competent.

The MW made one feeble attempt at follow-up. She called to say she would visit and then never showed up. Just pay in full for her services.

It's hard for me to connect with a lot of VBAC stuff because so few are birth center transfers. I've definitely healed a lot, but now wonder how I can trust any provider again, or myself...

AutumnAir's Avatar AutumnAir 08:55 PM 04-10-2009
That sounds so similar to my story too.

Only midwife in town (pretty much in the country), homebirth, not a birth centre, DD turned posterior during labour (which I only figured out later) Laboured for ages, felt like one never-ending contraction, midwife very unsupportive, got cervical lip ( my midwife didn't even bother to try to push it out of the way) finally transferred to hospital when midwife got impatient. Probably would have ended up with a C-section but they wanted to really *punish* me so I had an episiotomy and high forceps delivery with no pain meds at all.

It frustrates me so much, because looking back on it I probably just needed more time and useful support. But I didn't know what was going on at the time - I was in so much pain I actually couldn't speak.

I'm so sorry that you went through all that.

It seems that so many of the traumatic births I read about involve posterior presentation. Which is strange given that it's a pretty common phenomenon these days that more 'care providers' aren't better informed about how to help a mom to deal with it, and to have the patience to wait it out.

Oh, and congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that you have a lovely healing birth :
Talula Fairie 10:23 PM 04-10-2009
My jaw honestly dropped and my eyebrows shot up reading what your midwife did to you. I'm so sorry
mizznicole's Avatar mizznicole 10:40 PM 04-11-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnAir View Post
That sounds so similar to my story too.

Only midwife in town (pretty much in the country), homebirth, not a birth centre, DD turned posterior during labour (which I only figured out later) Laboured for ages, felt like one never-ending contraction, midwife very unsupportive, got cervical lip ( my midwife didn't even bother to try to push it out of the way) finally transferred to hospital when midwife got impatient. Probably would have ended up with a C-section but they wanted to really *punish* me so I had an episiotomy and high forceps delivery with no pain meds at all.

It frustrates me so much, because looking back on it I probably just needed more time and useful support. But I didn't know what was going on at the time - I was in so much pain I actually couldn't speak.

I'm so sorry that you went through all that.

It seems that so many of the traumatic births I read about involve posterior presentation. Which is strange given that it's a pretty common phenomenon these days that more 'care providers' aren't better informed about how to help a mom to deal with it, and to have the patience to wait it out.

Oh, and congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that you have a lovely healing birth :
I can't even think of what to say. That's just horrible.

Thanks for your thoughts...you and everyone.
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