Today is my daughters 2nd birthday!
Unfortunately, I am still unable to look at her birth pictures. My poor grandmother actually has PTSD from being there at the birth, and is unable to talk about it without crying and going into a panic. I was (luckily?) drugged during the first few hours and did not realize how close my baby was to death.
She is here now, happy and mostly healthy... but I can't stop thinking about the "what if's". I want birth pictures of her, where she is NOT blue, on oxygen and full of wires. I desperately wanted those first few hours with her to bond.
I just want to move on. I want my daughters birthday to be a happy day, instead of bringing up horrible memories for everyone.
Mom of Many