It's been 2 years - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 04-13-2009, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
Amylcd's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Today is my daughters 2nd birthday!

Unfortunately, I am still unable to look at her birth pictures. My poor grandmother actually has PTSD from being there at the birth, and is unable to talk about it without crying and going into a panic. I was (luckily?) drugged during the first few hours and did not realize how close my baby was to death.

She is here now, happy and mostly healthy... but I can't stop thinking about the "what if's". I want birth pictures of her, where she is NOT blue, on oxygen and full of wires. I desperately wanted those first few hours with her to bond.

I just want to move on. I want my daughters birthday to be a happy day, instead of bringing up horrible memories for everyone.

knit.gifMom of Many  jumpers.gif

Amylcd is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 04-24-2009, 04:02 PM
Neera's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
it's been 2 yrs for me too. looks like we had a similar birth experience. i haven't got over it yet, but dh has and often will say I shud move on. well, at least i know i'm not alone.

When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is online now  
#3 of 4 Old 04-28-2009, 09:35 PM
Jilian's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry mama. Honestly, I went through and deleted many of DS2's pictures off my computer because they were too painful to look at (he was blue and looked horrible) and I couldn't stop looking at them. Sometimes I feel sad that I no longer have these pictures but it helps me to focus on the present and not think of all of the what-ifs surrounding his birth. He was born at home and appeared pretty healthy until we learned he had a CHD @ 2 weeks old then he went in for a quad bypass. So looking at the pictures from his first 2 weeks and assessing his color was just too hard for me.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 04-30-2009, 11:58 PM
Treece's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Planet Earth, most days
Posts: 957
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

intactivist.gifwinner.jpg fambedsingle2.gif  learning.gif homeschool.gif buddamomimg1.png gd.gif delayedvax.gif selectivevax.gif  supermod.gif (Yeah right)

angel3.gif loss 2/28/03           photosmile2.gif  ds 1/5/08             asl.gif dd 2/8/10
When we know better, we do better. ~Maya Angelou 

Treece is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off